Love Bites

Chapter 16

Wiping my mouth with my hand, I hum with contentment, my stomach full. A gentle squeeze on my other hand has me glancing across at Zane. I smile at my mate. He smiles back, but it’s quickly replaced with a frown. He does that a lot recently, and I miss my smirking vampire.

He pulls me to a stop and scans my face, taking in the pinkening of my cheeks and the colour returning to my skin. I just fed—one of two scheduled feeds I now get per week thanks to Jack putting in a complaint. I still feel the ache of hunger occasionally, but it’s far better now. It also means I get to see Zane more often, as he attends to make sure my feeds go according to plan.

Tugging me closer, he touches my chin, lifting my head until our eyes meet. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

He doesn’t care who might see us or walk in on our little moment together, and honestly, there isn’t much they could do to stop us anyway. We’re mates, and as I’m learning, that provides us some protection.

“I’ll be fine, mate.” Smiling up at him, I fist his shirt and hope my voice is steady as I speak again. “I’m spending the rest of the afternoon with Tracey.”

Even if it was obvious and I wasn’t okay, there’s nothing he can do about it. He’s been struggling, probably just as much as I have, with our separation, and he needs me to be strong right now. It’s been a week since Jack and I became mates, and things have improved, such as my new feeding schedule and visits with the two of them. Zane took the news of me having another mate surprisingly well, and he confirmed that he had his suspicions. Sharing isn’t in his nature, but he understands that both he and Jack provide different things that I need to thrive.

Being kept away from two mates, however, is more difficult than I anticipated. I hoped that it would ease the ache of being separated, but if anything, it’s just two times as bad. I find myself constantly pining for them, my concentration shot and my temper faster to flare up. Every time one of them leaves, part of me leaves with them, and my body becomes an empty vessel going through the motions.

I’ve not told either of my mates, but I keep finding myself outside of the unit where Gabriel is housed, staring at the doors and fighting with myself about tracking him down. My longing for him has turned into a need, one that I keep denying, but I fear I’m losing the strength to hold myself back.

“How is the ogre? Has she eaten any more of your flowers?” he asks with humour in his voice, sounding more like his old self. While he was just as surprised and amused that I adopted an ogre for a friend, he’s happy with my choice of companion. Tracey isn’t going to let anything happen to me, and she’s one of the only creatures that seems to scare the crap out of everyone, keeping them away from me.

She also has an unfortunate habit of eating my flowers when we go back to my room on the unit—something that Zane finds hilarious.

“I’ve started hiding them when I know she’s coming to my room.” My smile is sly, the bond warming in my chest now that Zane seems brighter.

I have to get out of here soon. Being separated like this is affecting all of us.

We don’t have long together, our visits are timed, yet they always seem to fly by, the two hours we’re allotted vanishing. I’m also not allowed to take visitors back to my room anymore. After Jack and I fucked and formed our bond, creating a whole load of trouble for the halfway house, they don’t want me sleeping with anyone else and making more messes for them to clean up—not that this stops Zane and me. We’ve fucked in cupboards before, and if I’m in here much longer, I’m sure we will again. It’s just another reason for the timed visits.

He spends the rest of the visit telling me about what he and Jack have been doing on the outside to try and get me released. It turns out that the day Jack and I became mates, he was on his way to a meeting with a judge to get my sentence reviewed. They both believe that I’m being unfairly treated due to bias towards me. I struggle to keep up with it all, but just knowing that they are out there doing something to help takes a weight off my shoulders.

As usual, his visit comes to an end far too quickly, and he leaves with the promise that he and Jack will find a way to get me out soon. As soon as he’s gone, I feel myself deflate, becoming a ghost of myself. It’s becoming harder and harder to keep myself upbeat, my heart withering with each day we’re kept apart.

I wander mindlessly through the building. Tracey will be waiting for me, but the ache of my bond is numbing me to everything else around me. Thankfully I don’t have any classes today, as I’m sure I’d end up missing them with the state my mind is in right now. It’s more than just the bond causing me to want my mates though. I’m genuinely sad that I’m apart from them. We’ve created this amazing connection between us, something that was predestined, and I’m locked away. This is a time when we should be getting to know each other and enjoying the rush of new love. Frustration and anger make me want to lash out at the assessors, at Gabriel, at anyone who dares to get in the way of my mates and me.

That is exactly what stops me. I’ve never acted like that before, and the behaviour is something so unlike me that it shocks me into reality. While I’ve been told that born vampires have what most see as a superiority complex, I was raised differently. I float through life without much direction, trying to leave happiness wherever I go. Lashing out and hurting others goes against everything I am and believe in. I’m not going to let this turn me into someone else.

On autopilot, I move through the rooms of the building until finally I hear my name being called out. Blinking and bringing myself back to the present, I look around and find myself in the common room, with Tracey taking up most of the space on the large sofa.

Forcing a smile onto my face, I amble over and take residence in the armchair beside her, not trusting the sofa to take both of our weight. It already groans each time my ogre friend moves, and I don’t fancy trying to explain to the guards why we broke another sofa.

She looks over at me with a critical eye and grunts, raising her chin in a way that I’ve learned means she’s asking a question. Interpreting the noise as her asking how my feeding went, I lean back in the armchair and pull my legs up under me.

“It went fine, no issues,” I reply with a light shrug. “I’m getting better at controlling how much blood I take now.”

I’m actually getting quite good at it. In fact, Zane was telling me that I have the best control he’s ever seen for a new vampire. He’s been wondering if it has something to do with my upbringing. I was around humans all the time, so I might not view them as food like most born vampires. Personally, I think I just have the willpower to make myself stop, not having been constantly told that I will struggle to stop.

Tracey continues to stare at me, waiting for me to confess all of my deep dark secrets. It makes me uncomfortable. I don’t know how to tell her that I feel like I’m slowly dying without my mates. She has very strong opinions on males, and I don’t want to seem like I’m whining or that I have to have a male to save me, so I do the only thing I can in this situation—I change the subject.

“How’s the game?” I ask, gesturing towards the TV. “Are the Smashers winning?”

It turns out that even supernaturals like sports and have their own games. Smash ball is the most watched sport, and from what I can tell, it’s a cross between rugby, American football, and dodgeball. The rules seem bizarre, and I can’t keep up, but Tracey loves it. Her team, the Smashers, are currently playing. This is usually a sure-fire way of trying to distract her.

“Don’t change the subject,” she demands, narrowing her eyes on me. Grumbling, she sighs and places a large hand on my shoulder, the action knocking me forward slightly. “This is killing you, friend.”

She’s watching me with an expression that I think is one of concern, but it’s difficult to tell with her limited facial movements. Sighing, I drop my head, cradling my knees to my chest. Thankfully no one else is in the room to witness my moment of weakness, but I don’t know what to say to her. I can’t lie and say everything is fine, yet I also don’t have the vocabulary to explain how I feel.

“Things are a little tough,” I admit, raising my eyes to meet hers. “I just need to get through this.” It might have worked and convinced her to drop the subject if I didn’t sound like I was trying to convince myself at the same time.

Tracey stares at me for a long moment before letting out a huff and pushing up from the sofa. With her expression as soft as she’s physically able to manage, she slowly shakes her head.

“No.” Her gravelly voice is heavy and full of sadness. “Something needs to be done.”

With that, she turns and stomps from the room, leaving me curled up on the armchair, wondering what the hell just happened.

Back in my room, I sit and stare at the walls when a knock on the door startles me. I wait a moment, listening to see if I can work out who is there without having to get up. The lack of huffing and creaking floors tells me that it’s not Tracey, and I don’t know who else would come visit me in my room. A guard perhaps?

A second knock makes me sigh. Whoever they are, they are not going anywhere until I open the door. Standing, I walk over, pull open the door, and come face-to-face with Gabriel.

I really need to start checking who’s there before opening my door.

He practically fills the whole doorway, his magnificent wings tucked in behind him as he stares down at me. Something in his expression changes as he looks me over, something that looks like anger and sorrow.

“Can I come in?”

What do I do? I should stay far away from him. My thoughts on what happened between us have always been mixed. A part of me believes him, and the other part whispers everything the others told me about him. He’s bad news. Even if he is innocent, I can’t risk doing anything that gives Dorine any excuse to extend my sentence.

However, I’m damaged and feeling fragile. I should push him away, but that just makes me want him all the more. Besides, I’ve missed him, our flight together often frequenting my dreams.

I don’t say anything, but I step aside and gesture for him to enter. He passes me, and I shut the door behind him, pretending that his scent isn’t making my knees weak. Taking a deep breath, I turn to face him. There’s barely enough space for the two of us in here, his wings brushing against my minimal furnishings as he moves farther into the room. It’s not just his physical size that fills the room though, but his alpha vibes. There’s just something about him that screams dominance.

My heart is jumping in my chest. I want him here, desperately needing to press myself against him and feel his touch, yet at the same time, I’m still hurting from everything that happened between us.

I wait for him to speak, watching as he looks around the room, his gaze quickly moving to me. He frowns as he looks me over again.

“You’ve lost weight.” His voice is gruff, his words a statement rather than a question.

Not knowing how to reply, I simply let my lips twitch into a ghost of a smile and shrug my shoulders.

This only seems to upset him more, his frown deepening as he takes a small step towards me. “I spoke with your friend, Tracey.” He shakes his head, a wry smile on his face. “That was the scariest moment of my life. Do you know how violent ogres get when they are protecting their loved ones?”

A flicker of genuine humour travels through me, and a small smile appears on my lips. His eyes track it, taking note of every move I make. I can imagine Tracey storming into his room and demanding he do something to fix the mess between us. The smile slowly slips from my face.

“She sent you here to talk to me?”

I’m unable to hide my disappointment, my heart sinking. I hoped he was here to have a genuine conversation with me, but it turns out his hand was forced. Any apology or conversation he wants to have with me should be because he wants to apologise and be here with me, not because he had the crap scared out of him by an ogre.

He laughs and shakes his head. “No, she actually came to beat the shit out of me for ‘doing this’ to her friend.”

Oh, Tracey, you beautiful ogre. Who needs men when you have an ogre for a friend?

The bond thumps in my chest, reminding me exactly how I feel without my mates. While I’m a strong, independent female, and I know I could survive if I could never see my mates again, I’m literally missing a part of myself without them. I would never feel complete again.

As I stare into his intense golden eyes, my heart feels like it bleeds in my chest, and I have to drop my gaze. “You didn’t come,” I mutter aloud. It’s the first time that I’ve admitted how much his absence upset me. “It’s been two weeks.”

I shouldn’t have wanted to see him, and I did attempt to stay away, but he didn’t make any effort to see me. Even now, although he’s here of his own volition, it was triggered by Tracey trying to kill him. It hurt that he didn’t track me down and make me hear him out. If he truly cared, that’s what he would do, right?

His shadows flicker behind him at the dejection in my voice, but his expression doesn’t change. This is the first time I’ve seen them in a while. His control is usually so good, he must be struggling if they are making an appearance. They simply flicker and dance across the floor, reminding me of the danger this male could be to me if he truly wanted to hurt me.

“I was trying to give you space, little one,” he explains, the sincerity in his voice ringing clearly. “I didn’t think you wanted to see me, especially with your new ogre friend. However, I’ve never been far away. I can’t seem to stay away from you, Emily.”

I have seen him a couple of times in the last two weeks, watching from afar, but I always thought it was a coincidence that he’d come across me. The facility is small, so it was only a matter of time before we bumped into each other.

Reaching out and touching my chin, he gently guides my head up until our eyes meet. “Yes, the idea of having you here all to myself was a seductive one, but I would never do anything to jeopardise your release, and I need you to understand that.” Each word is clear, leaving no room for misunderstanding. Huffing out a breath, he shakes his head as he continues. “I am sorry that my actions got you in trouble though, and I’m going to fix it.”

A chill goes down my spine, my instincts telling me that whatever he’s planning isn’t a good idea. “What do you mean?”

He drops his hands and stands to his full height, his lips pursing for a moment. “I’m going to tell them that I forced you to come with me for the flight. That way, they have no reason to continue punishing you.”

“What?” I can’t believe what I’m hearing, and my responses are delayed as I think it all through. If he tells them he took me without my permission, then they’ll say that he abducted me. Shit. Energy surges through me, finally waking me up from the fog of missing my mates. “No, you can’t. They’ll charge you with kidnapping!”

He grips my shoulders, staring at me with an intensity that strips away all of the masks and attempts to hide my feelings.

“But it means you’ll be free!” he insists, clearly having considered this for a while.

Laughing without humour, I shake my head, not understanding why he doesn’t seem to understand the repercussions of what will happen if he does this. Gripping his shirt, I bare my teeth in frustration. “And you’ll be locked away for even longer!”

“My freedom is nothing if I can’t be with you, Emily!” he shouts, his eyes wild and glimmering, wings flaring out behind him. Sighing, he releases my shoulders and presses a hand against my cheek. “Little one, have you not figured it out yet?”

I know what he’s asking, but I’m not ready to say it. Not yet. Instead, I focus on what I can say, even if I can’t explain why it hurts so much.

“We’ll be separated.” Pain lances through me, my voice tight and quaking.

“It would happen at some point either way, you know this.” His voice is soft and gentle but holds a truth I don’t want to admit.

I can’t hold back the feelings building inside me, the pressure growing so much, I fear it may tear me apart. He’s hurt me before, and he could hurt me again, but what he wants to do will mean I won’t get to see him for years, and I’m not sure I could survive that either. It’s no good, I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t exist or that it will just sort itself out. I finally have to acknowledge what I’ve been holding back for the last couple of weeks.

“But…” I choke off as my throat constricts. “You’re my mate.” I finally manage to say the words.

His eyes squeeze shut, and a vulnerable expression covers his face. When he opens his eyes, they glimmer. “You know.”

“I know,” I reply quietly, still struggling to contain my emotions. The vulnerability he’s allowing me to see confirms something inside me. I was starting to think that I was the only one who felt the unexplainable pull towards him and the twisted emotions the bond brought with it, but seeing him now confirms that this is not true.

He leans in until his forehead rests against mine, holding me closer. “In that case, you know I can’t allow my mate to continue to wither away before me when I can do something about it.”

I just found him, and he’s about to be taken away from me. Biting back the urge to beg him not to do this, I simply shake my head in denial. “You’ll be sacrificing yourself.”

With a gentle touch that I didn’t think he possessed, he cups my cheeks. “Anything they’ll do to me is worth it if I know you’re safe.”

If I wasn’t so devastated, I’d find his grand gesture very romantic, only this grand gesture means he’ll be shipped off to prison.

“Can I do anything to change your mind?” I ask, knowing that he’s already decided, but I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least try.

I see the answer in his eyes before he speaks. Not wanting to hear it, I do what I’ve been wanting to do since I first saw him—I kiss him. We’re already so close, so I simply tilt my head up and our lips touch. Pressing into him, I move my lips over his. His body is firm and resistant, but I don’t stop, continuing to kiss him until he finally relents and kisses me back. All of a sudden, I’m in his arms and being pressed up against the wall, my legs wrapped around his waist.

Kissing Gabriel is like being caught up in a tornado, everything moving around me at breakneck speed. Our hands fly over each other’s bodies, needing touch as much as we need oxygen. The bond in my chest aches, demanding that we form our connection now. I let it take over, tearing at his clothes. My hand moves down to his crotch and the hard cock I feel pressing against me.

Before I can touch him, though, he grips my wrists and stops me as he pins them to the wall behind me. He hangs his head, his breathing ragged. Confused, horny, and a little frustrated, I wait for him to look up at me, not having the words to describe how I feel.

“No,” he finally grinds out, sounding as though he’s in great pain as he lifts his head. His eyes are begging me to understand, and I can see the strain he’s feeling as he tries to hold himself back. “I want to save that for when we’re free to be together. If we complete the bond now, you’ll only pine for me more.”

The way he says it makes it sound as though he’s being cocky, but I know exactly what he’s talking about. If we complete our bond, then I’ll just feel the same strain of being away from him as I currently do with Zane and Jack.

This is it then. He’s not going to change his mind, and he’s right, I am fading away in here, even if I don’t want to admit it. Squeezing my eyes shut, I take several deep breaths before I’m able to face him and what I know is coming.

“You’ll come for me when you’re free?”

He releases my hands and brushes a long, golden curl from my face. “Of course, little one. You are my reason for being.” Smiling down at me, he shakes out his wings as though brushing off the sadness that’s permeated the room. “I love you, little one. Never forget that.”

He kisses me deeply, and without another word, he turns and leaves.