Love By Design

Chapter 22

Guilt and rejection are the two worst feelings combined but I somehow manage to compartmentalise my feelings, knowing that I still had work to do at Men’s Fashion Week and last-minute events to attend to.

Namely, the after-party hosted by MODUE Magazine to conclude London Fashion Week.

Gigi managed to secure an invite for me as her plus one, as the editorial assistant covering the event, but her presence was required to be at the venue before the guests so I find myself arriving at the function without her.

The celebration is already in full swing by the time I arrive in Soho and I’m taken aback by the throngs of people gathered by the entrance, the thumping music audible even from outside.

The line for the entry stretched around the corner, with frighteningly bulky security guards turning people away who aren’t on the guest list.

Checking my phone, I see a message from Gigi.

Message me when you’re here so I can come get you!

I send her a quick text to let her know I’m outside, standing metres away from the entrance as I people watch. Everyone is dressed to the nines, which comes as no surprise– bold patterns and stylish ensembles making up the crowd outside of the five-star hotel where the after-party is being held.

In fashion, there’s no such thing as being overdressed so I can’t help but feel significantly underdressed in my mini, red slip dress and matching Hauretto high heels.

I’m hovering awkwardly at the front as I wait for Gigi’s reply when I hear a voice call out behind me.

“Hallie?”

I turn to find messy dark hair and intense blue eyes belonging to none other than Sebastian Holmes himself. He’s dressed more casually than the first couple of times I’ve seen him, wearing a blazer over a white t-shirt and black dress trousers.

“You’re not going in?” He signals toward the entrance and I shake my head.

“I’m waiting for my friend to come get me,” I reply. “She’s already inside.”

I gesture at the queue, already feeling a little more overwhelmed than usual. Waiting for Gigi would also save me the embarrassment of being turned away if my name isn’t on the list.

“I’ve got you, don’t worry.”

He walks towards me, offering me his arm and I awkwardly grab on to his elbow. The fabric of his blazer is tactile under my fingers, the raised ridges and valleys of the twill weave slightly coarse to the touch.

Approaching the security guards by the door, Sebastian doesn’t even give his name but they lift the rope nonetheless, allowing us access through the VIP entrance.

“See?” He smirks. “Easy.”

“Thank you.” I nod as we ascend a flight of stairs.

“Did you make the dress you’re wearing too?” He nods towards my outfit.

He helps me out of my long, beige trench coat as we reach the cloakroom and I respond with a silent nod.

From the outside, the roar of music is discernible making it difficult to register his words clearly.

“I need to head upstairs real quick.” Sebastian leans over to me, motioning towards a set of double doors. “The main room is through there, will you be alright on your own?”

I nod my head. “Yes, I’m going to find my friend.”

“Alright, I’ll see you in there.”

Sending Gigi a quick text, I watch as Sebastian heads up another flight of stairs.

Inside now!

Entering the main room, I’m greeted by a sea of people and bright lights flashing overhead. There’s a dance floor in the middle of the room with a DJ spinning tracks but I skirt around it, finding it a little too overwhelming for my senses, especially with the photographers who are continuously taking photos of people around.

In an attempt to search for Gigi, I make my way to a calmer, more subdued lounge area next door. The atmosphere is a lot more relaxed with its jazz ambience and mood lighting so I find myself able to breathe a lot easier.

My eyes scan the room, flitting across various faces when I spot someone familiar.

Jet black hair and dark brown eyes that should really belong in the kitchen at Tito Boy’s.

“Hero?” I question.

He turns at the sound of his name. “Hallie!”

“What are you doing here?”

“Snaps invited me!” He beams. “I’m his plus one.”

He tilts his head across the room, revealing the unmistakable form of platinum-blond hair and intense grey eyes surrounded by a group of very tall and very gorgeous models.

August is wearing his signature navy suit with a black formal shirt underneath, the first few buttons undone. Valentina is next to him, an arm wrapped around his torso as she pulls him in a side hug.

As if sensing my gaze, he looks up and a prickling sensation settles in between my ribs the moment our eyes meet. He maintains his usual air of nonchalance as the people around him chatter eagerly.

My chest tightens and I avert my gaze.

“You’re not going to say hi?” Hero questions.

“He seems busy.” I shake my head, feigning indifference. “Shots?”

Turning to Hero, I watch as his face immediately lights up at the mention of alcohol.

“I heard it’s open bar too,” He grins.

Even though I have no intention of drinking, especially after last Friday, I indulge Hero and his company.

“You’re a bad influence, Mahalia Hartt.” He laughs, immediately following me as I start making my way towards the bar.

“How’s everyone at the restaurant?” I ask.

“Good. Same as always.” He takes one shot after the other. “We’ve had a few new hires. The masterclasses Rowan hosts every other weekend is a hit. You should come by more often. Everyone’s missing you.”

“Work has been so busy,” I grimace.

Hero nods. “I can see why though, fashion week seems intense. It’s back-to-back shows, one after the other, I can’t keep up.”

“You’ve been attending the shows?”

“Thanks to Snaps,” He chuckles. “He’s been dragging me out to every event but I’m not complaining. I didn’t realise the fashion scene in London is so diverse.”

“It didn’t use to be the case,” I laugh airily. “But now foreign talent does make up a significant portion of London’s lineup.”

“When am I going to see yours?” Hero inquires.

“Holmes showcased on the first day,” I reply. “You’ve already missed it.”

“Not Holmes.” He shakes his head. “Hartt.”

I sigh wistfully. “A girl can dream.”

“There you are!”

I sense a presence come up behind me and I watch as Hero’s smile fades. Turning around, I find Sebastian standing beside us at the bar, sipping on a glittery purple liquid in a glass.

“Try this, it’s a drink they made specifically for the event,” He offers, passing me his glass.

Sebastian watches me curiously and I take a small sip of the drink out of politeness.

“What do you think?”

“Too sour,” I reply.

Though the taste isn’t completely unpleasant, I find it too tangy for my liking.

He chuckles, wrapping his fingers around my hand as he reaches back for his glass. I try not to visibly flinch at the contact, finding it a little too close for comfort as he brings the drink back to his mouth and takes another gulp.

“This is my friend.” I step away to gesture awkwardly towards Hero. “Sebastian, this is–”

“Hiroshi Hinode,” He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Good to see you, chef.”

“Sebastian,” Hero nods impassively.

I can tell by the way he visibly bristles that, despite being acquainted, they are not friends.

“How do you know each other?” I ask curiously.

“August.” Hero responds bluntly.

He doesn’t elaborate further, my eyebrows furrowing as I sense the tension growing between them.

“I did a foundation year at MIDAS before attending LIFT,” Sebastian reveals.

In the corner of my eye, I see the familiar head of platinum blond hair walking over to us. Panic rises in me as I turn sharply towards Hero and Sebastian.

“I’m going to the bath—”

I underestimate how long August’s strides are because he is over to us within an instant.

Sebastian greets him first, squaring his shoulders.

“Vante.”

August looks him over with a blasé expression.

“Holmes.”

The same tension at the dinner is apparent between the two of them, further heightening the already tense atmosphere. I suddenly feel a lot smaller in their presence so I keep my eyes trained on the drink in my hand, avoiding everyone’s gaze.

“It’s been a while,” Sebastian comments, shifting back towards me. “Didn’t realise you’re back in the party scene, playboy.”

He brings an arm around me to take his glass, unsettlingly close.

“I’m not,” August responds curtly.

“Oh yeah?” Sebastian asks. “Heard you took Vee home after the company dinner.”

At the mention of the heterochromia-eyed model, my gaze flickers towards August.

“Sakura and I made sure she got back to her hotel okay,” He replies bluntly, eyes fixed on me.

Guilt chords itself around my chest, squeezing my heart.

“Last season was a bit messy.” Sebastian takes a long, leisurely sip of his drink. “Keep it clean this time, yeah?”

The statement is like a lashing against my heart and the tightening feeling around my chest intensifies.

Sebastian reaches over, handing the half-empty glass back to me.

“All yours, doll.”

He gives everyone a nod of acknowledgement before leaving.

Glancing over at August, I watch as his gaze briefly falls on the drink in my hand before it trails after Sebastian’s retreating figure.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” I announce quickly, leaving August and Hero by the bar.

An unpleasant feeling eats away at me as I speed walk towards the restroom, my hand gripping the glass.

I had absolutely no idea of August and Valentina’s involvement with each other, of course, but maybe I should have known better.

Placing the glass by the sink, I walk the length of the bathroom to calm my nerves. My fingers twitch involuntarily, tapping restlessly on my thighs as a group of brightly dressed women stumble into the bathroom.

“I love your dress!” One of the girls drunkenly comments before beelining for a cubicle.

The tell-tale sign of retching can be heard before two other girls scurry over to tend to their friend. It triggers a flashback of when I was throwing up at Onyx and my heart sinks at the memory, feeling even more guilty.

“Just stay out of it, Hallie.” I mutter, staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. “Do not get involved, Mahalia Hartt.”

Glaring at my reflection one final time, I pick up Sebastian’s glass and down the rest of the drink, the burning sensation of liquor tasting oddly bitter this time.

It doesn’t counteract the tightening feeling of guilt in my chest.

If anything, it makes it worse.

Coughing loudly, my eyebrows furrow at the much darker remnants of the glass before gathering myself and exiting the ladies bathroom. I’m two steps out when I feel a hand wrap around my elbow and I’m suddenly tugged into a corner.

I look up to find grey eyes staring sternly at me.

“You’re avoiding me.”

The statement catches me off guard and I swallow out of nervousness, the minimal distance between us causing my heart to flutter.

He hands me a bottle of water and my brows knot in confusion.

“You were drinking with Hero,” He states.

“I took a shot,” I reply, the irony not lost on me.

“And Sebastian’s drink, clearly.” He responds in an irritable tone.

I take the bottle from him. “I had one glass.”

“Did nobody ever advise you against drinking with strangers?” He grouses.

His voice takes on a condescending edge, as though he’s scolding a child and it makes me feel even worse.

“Sebastian isn’t a stranger,” I comment.

Something flickers in his eyes as he takes a step towards me.

Flashbacks of the club flood my mind and I chug down the water, hoping to wash away the bitter taste of rejection and the guilt lingering in my mouth.

I hand the bottle back and take a step away from him.

“Thanks. If you’ll excuse me—”

August doesn’t give me the opportunity to leave as he reaches out and gently grabs my hand.

“Mahalia.”

His touch sends tingles down my spine, goosebumps erupting on my skin.

My vision blurs slightly as I feel his hand brush against mine longer than necessary and I restrain the impulse to intertwine my fingers with his. Out of the haze, my mind conjures up a vision of blonde hair and a pair of different-coloured eyes.

Instantly, I pull away.

“I’m going home.” I assert.

I don’t give August the chance to stop me this time as I stumble back to the bar, my legs unsteady.

My surroundings spin slowly and I frown, finding it difficult to move as the floor is suddenly pulled from under me.

“Woah!”

I look up at the body I collided with, tall and imposing, and I mumble a breathless apology.

“You alright?”

I shake my head, blinking rapidly at the blurring figure as I try to focus. I feel the familiar texture of the twill weave against my fingers and I blink at the black and blue slanted parallel lines.

Herringbone.

“Sebastian?”

My tongue feels heavy, my mouth oddly dry.

“Easy there, sweetheart.” His hands try to steady me as I push against him to stand upright. “Wait, hold this.”

He hands me a glass of clear liquid and I clumsily reach for it, taking multiple gulps. I choke on the sudden burning sensation down my throat and shake my head.

“Water.”

“Oh shit,” His hands are cold as I feel his touch on the exposed skin of my shoulders. “That’s not water, no.”

The drink spills as I stumble backwards, the glass slipping out of my hands.

“S-sorry,” I wince. “I want to go home.”

“Alright, I’ll call you a cab.”

I try to keep my vision focused as I nod, stopping when my head starts to feel heavy.

“Hallie?”

Disoriented, I turn towards the familiar sound of a woman’s voice.

“Gigi?” I frown, my eyes losing focus.

Everything around me is painfully overwhelming, enhanced colours and distorted shapes, as I reach out towards her.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

I flinch at the irritated voice belonging to August.

“Relax mate, I was just helping her.” Sebastian’s voice is aloof, his grip around me loosening.

“Hallie, what’s wrong?”

Gigi’s voice is muffled. Too distant sounding despite her being so close to me.

“I don’t feel too good,” I answer. “I want to go home.”

The room is starting to spin again and I ungracefully sway with it. I duck my head down to ground myself when I feel myself being led away by an all-too-familiar touch. I look back up to find August holding me now, Sebastian nowhere in sight.

“Wait, I’m still on the clock.” Gigi’s eyes meet mine before she looks around. “I need to let one of my colleagues know so I can leave—“

“No,” I interrupt. “You’re staying.”

She frowns. “I’m not leaving you by yourself.”

“It’s your event, Gigi.” I hiccup, struggling to speak clearly.

“Hallie—”

“You’re not leaving.” I shake my head firmly. “I’m going home.”

“Stop, Hals—”

I stumble forward, into Hero this time, and I blink languidly.

“How much did you drink?” His eyebrows knot in apprehension.

“Hallie,” Gigi frowns. “You’re drunk.”

“I’m not drunk,” I argue.

There’s a pressure in my chest that feels foreign, almost like a cramp, my heart beating so rapidly I can hear the blood pulsing in my ears.

“I had one drink. And a shot. Is that drunk? I don’t think that’s drunk. That’s not drunk at all.” I’m babbling now but I can hardly stop, suddenly feeling all too jittery.

August steps in front of me abruptly and takes my face in his hands.

For the briefest moment, I think he’s going to kiss me, but he only fixes his gaze on my face, grey eyes examining me closely. I stand frozen in place as he pulls gently on my eyelids, the faintest touch on my skin.

“What did you take?” His tone is stern as he stares into my eyes.

I blink quickly, the question scrambling around in my head and throwing me off guard.

Did I take what?

“I didn’t take anything,” I protest, my body beginning to tremble.

“She took something,” He asserts, eyes trained on me.

“I didn’t.”

August doesn’t say anything else as he cups my chin with his fingers, tilting it to the side and observing my face from different angles. He slides his thumb under my jaw before tracing it down to the hammering pulse point on my neck.

I hold my breath as he inspects me, my body warming up at his touch.

“Hallie?”

I turn toward Gigi who’s looking at me now, eyes full of concern.

“I didn’t take anything,” I repeat, feeling like my knees are about to give in. “I would never.”

“I was with her earlier, I would know if she took…” Hero’s sentence trails off, his eyes landing on someone from across the room.

My head turns towards the bar where I see the hazy yet unmistakable silhouette clad in a blazer and tailored trousers. The air around me prickles as a wave of anxiety washes over me and I falter under August’s touch.

“I don’t know what I took.”

There’s a pounding in my head as I struggle to recall every drink I had tonight. Concentrating is a battle, thinking clearly seems nearly impossible.

“Snaps.” Hero turns towards August, worry etched on his face.

“I don’t know what I took,” I repeat, turning towards Gigi with a whimper.

A high tide of nausea pulls me under this time, the feeling of paranoia engulfing me within an instant. Panic flashes across Gigi’s face but she does her best to mask it for my sake.

“Do we need to go to the hospital?” Gigi asks.

August hesitates, attention steadily on me.

“Open your mouth,” He instructs.

I comply, quickly parting my lips.

August curls his index finger under my chin, lifting it more gently this time as his thumb pulls on my bottom lip. Our eyes meet and my head clouds over as I resist the overwhelming temptation to kiss him again.

“She’ll be okay,” August says, reassuringly. “We just need to keep an eye out on her.”

I feel clammy, my body alternating between hot and cold flushes as the dizziness forming in my head intensifies with each passing second.

Hero lets out a sigh. “I’ll take her home.”

“I’ll go with you.” August offers.

“Snaps, it’s fine.”

I don’t need to be fully within my headspace to notice that it’s most definitely not fine and Hero is most certainly far from happy.

“We’ll take her home,” August tells Gigi. “Book the taxi. I’ll meet you both outside in 5 minutes.”