31. Adam
Chapter thirty-one
Adam
N icole and I fall into a satisfying pattern over the next few weeks. By early May, spring classes are finishing up at Harkness and in the library, we’re prepping for the busyness of finals, including the de-stress events we hold for the frazzled students. This semester, Nicole is planning an activity around the graphic novel collection. She had a professor in the art department create a few illustrated how-to pages showing the process for drawing panels in comics. She’ll laminate them and put them out on a table near the graphic novel shelf with paper, colored pencils, and other supplies so students can draw their own short comics. So, yeah, my girlfriend is brilliant.
We spend evenings at each other’s places several times a week, and on the weekends neither of us work, we go out. So far, we’ve been miniature golfing, to the movies, and on a ghost tour with Ashley and Paul. Plus, ice cream. Always ice cream. And kissing whenever possible, except, of course, at work.
I’m in awe of the amount of time we spend together now, how easily she talks to me and shares with me. I spent so much time on the outside of her life hoping to get in, and then months on the doorstep trying to capture glances through the half-open doorway, that now that she’s invited me inside, I’m desperate to see everything and cherish it all. I’m falling fast—if I wasn’t already gone for her months ago.
This week, I work on the weekend, so I’m off on Thursday and Friday. After spending the day with Joan while Nicole’s at work, I leave her on her own and bring takeout to Nicole’s apartment. I think we’re on date eight or nine.
After eating outside on the balcony, we stretch out on the couch, me on one end and her on the other, angled sideways with her feet in my lap. I’m flipping through one of the graphic novels Nicole had recommended. While I’m still not as enthused about graphic novels as she is, I’ve come to appreciate them. I just don’t feel as immersed as I do when I read a novel, or even a nonfiction book. Nicole’s reading an e-book, a romance novel, I think. I breathe in and realize how content I feel. Being here with Nicole, each doing our own thing but together, feels comfortable, companionable. Natural. Like something I wouldn’t mind doing the rest of my life.
Just then, Nicole breathes a wispy sigh that makes my stomach flip and my heart rate tick up. I raise my eyes to see her, and she’s totally focused on the screen in front of her. I’m not sure she even realizes she made the noise. As I watch, she moves her hand on top of her heart. Her mouth hangs open slightly. Suddenly, she flips over the tablet and drops it to her lap, leaning back against the armrest of the couch and closing her eyes.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
“Oh my gosh.” She blushes now as she meets my eyes. “I just read the swooniest first kiss scene. Behind a waterfall. Easily in my top five fantasy spots.”
This gets my attention. She has an actual, thought-out list of fantasy make out spots? Yeah, I’m going to need more information about that immediately.
I quirk up my eyebrows. “Really?” I say as casually as I can muster. “What, uh, what else is on this top five list?”
Her face is beet red now from her cheeks all the way to the tips of her ears. She looks absolutely adorable. “Well, no, not like a formal list or anything.”
“But it’s something you’ve thought about?” I can tell she has. I can also tell that she now thoroughly regrets mentioning it.
“A little,” she admits reluctantly.
“And what’s the number one, top spot you want to be kissed?”
Still blushing, now she drops her gaze, studying her hands. “It’s silly,” she says.
“I promise you that silly is the last thing I’ll think it is.” Probably I’ll think it’s thrilling, perfect, sexy, no matter what it is.
Nicole meets my eyes again, a renewed boldness in her expression. “A library,” she says. “Against a bookcase.”
I imagine pushing her backward, pinning her between the stacks and my body, gripping the back of her neck with my hand. My throat goes completely dry, and my heart pounds in my ears. She notices my reaction and a self-satisfied smile settles on her lips. Without another word, she picks up her tablet and switches it back on, settling back to read some more.
I, on the other hand, feel a bit … distracted. I check my watch. It’s late on a Thursday night. Normally Parker Library would be closed by now, but it’s finals week so we’re open late for students who are cramming. At the same time, it’s late enough that none of the librarians or full-time staff will be there anymore. Just a couple of student workers and a security guard periodically on their rounds. I rub my chin. Am I seriously considering this? We’re just a couple of blocks away. If we’re caught, not only would it be fully embarrassing, but there could also be repercussions for our jobs. What I’m contemplating is the exact opposite of professional behavior. I push the thoughts away. I couldn’t.
My eyes dart over to Nicole, who has stumbled back into her novel, immersed and oblivious to my inner conflict. She holds the tablet with one hand, the other hand curled into a fist, propped under her chin. The dreamy look in her emerald eyes as they flick across the screen are my undoing. She’s turned my world upside down. I’ve been driving down a serene country road all my life, but now, suddenly, I’m in the middle of a city intersection—lights flashing around me, unpredictable and wild. The pulse of the traffic terrifies and energizes me at the same time.
I take a deep breath and ask myself, “What do I want to do? Ignoring what I should do, ignoring the rules, what do I want?” The answer is easy once I clear away the doubts. I’ll do anything to make her happy. I want to kiss my girlfriend, this amazing, sexy woman I’m falling in love with, against a shelf full of books.
I nod my head decisively, stand up from the couch, and extend my hand to Nicole.
“Come on,” I say.