Love Letters and Thirst Tonics (Moonvale Matches Book 1)

32. Redd

My brain had become a bubbling cauldron.

I couldn’t drag my mind away from worrying. Constant worrying. I dwelled on thoughts about my family, thoughts about this town, thoughts about a temperamental vampire.

Thoughts about a searing kiss that had ended too abruptly. Way too abruptly.

I kept analyzing my Ma’s last letter over and over in my mind. It was so… wrong. Something about it was off. After tormenting myself for a few days, I couldn’t take it anymore.

I wasn’t proud of the way I had left home, and that small wound had festered over the weeks, growing and growing until it was an ache I could no longer ignore. Something needed to be done.

I let Mayor Tommins know that I had to leave, and that I didn’t know when I’d be back. What I didn’t tell him was that I also didn’t know if I’d be coming back.

I gathered my meager belongings and set out on my journey, leaving the key to my rental cottage tucked under a stone by the front door. If someone looked, they would eventually find it. I had paid enough silvers to the cottage owner that I had a few weeks to spare before they came seeking more payment or confirmed my absence.

I convinced myself that Fiella would be relieved to have me gone. Her strange rejection had left my mind reeling and my ego bruised. I didn’t know what I did wrong. Everything had been going so well, we had been getting along so perfectly, and her body fit in my hands like it was made to be there.

I didn’t know what had gone wrong.

All I knew was that I needed to get out of here. To get some space, and some clarity, and to finally set my mind at ease about what was going on back home in Sunhaven.

I felt a stab of regret that I hadn’t told Fiella that I was leaving, but the desire not to bother her any more than I already had outweighed it.

The stables in Moonvale were pathetic. There was only one mule fit for the journey, and fit was an understatement. The stablemaster had explained that they would refill when tourists arrived with more critters, but for now, this was my only option beside traveling on foot.

I sighed as I handed over my silvers. This was going to be a long, miserable trip.

It had been weeks since I had been in the arid atmosphere of Sunhaven, and I had almost forgotten the way the air itself enveloped me in a warm cocoon. Moonvale had surprisingly become familiar, and I was beginning to acclimate to the cold.

I was covered in a thin layer of sweat and uncomfortably warm. I loosened the laces of my tunic at my throat so I could let the air kiss my skin.

It seemed like nothing had changed in the weeks since I had left. The streets were as lively as ever, the sparse, stringy trees were as yellow as they had always been, the lizards scurrying across the path were zig zagging beneath my feet in the same patterns they always had.

My family’s shop looked the exact same as well. It was still standing, the shingles on the roof still bright orange and hideous. I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding for what felt like weeks, the tension in my chest easing a fraction. I hadn’t realized the fear that I had been holding onto was impacting me so deeply.

I had never been away from my family for longer than a few days, and the fact that they were able to carry on without me gave me mixed feelings. I was proud of them, but I was sad for myself. Maybe I wasn’t so essential after all.

I strolled into the shop as though I had never left. It was the middle of the day, and I knew that some project would be in the works.

“Ma! Pa! It’s me, Redd!” I called out as I entered, assuming one of my parents would be lingering in the vicinity as they usually did. The voice that answered me wasn’t my parents, though–it was my younger brother Ollie.

“Redd? What in the Hell’s Realm are you doing here!” he called out as he barreled around the corner and threw his body into my arms. I caught him with a grunt of effort and hugged him back. I had missed the casual affection of my family.

“I told you guys I wouldn’t be gone forever,” I grumbled into his fluffy head of hair. “I had to come back and visit. How are things? Where are Ma and Pa?”

Ollie extracted himself from my arms and looked into my face, examining me with an intensity I wasn’t used to seeing in my lighthearted and free-spirited younger brother. He was barely considered an adult, and he often still acted like a little.

“They’re back at home,” he stated cautiously. He gnawed at his lower lip, his fangs almost pricking the skin. My hackles rose.

“They’re workaholics, they’re always in the shop at this time, why in the realms are they at home?” I asked suspiciously.

“Never mind that,” he said hastily. “Let’s talk about you! Where have you been all these weeks? Did you find a place to settle down? Do you have any fun stories? Meet any fun lads or ladies?” His excitement rose the longer he spoke.

I was surprised to find that I had actually missed the tornado of questions, and being the recipient again soothed something in me. The corner of my mouth lifted.

I settled myself onto one of the working stools as I braced myself to tell my brother everything that had transpired since I had left Sunhaven, and prepared for the interrogation I would be dropping onto him afterwards. I should have waited until we could gather the rest of the family, for I knew I would need to tell this tale more than once, but the eager glint in his gaze won me over.

My nose filled with the scent of cinnamon, clean linens, and the lingering tang of freshly baked sourdough as I walked into my parents’ house. Home always smelled the same, and the scent settled my roiling nerves.

“Hey Ma, look who’s here!” Ollie shouted as we walked inside and kicked off our boots. Ma never allowed outdoor shoes to be worn inside, that was blasphemous in her eyes.

My Ma entered the room carrying a basket of freshly folded laundry. All of Ma’s grown littles had moved out years ago, but she still did our laundry every chance she got, claiming that none of us had the magic touch and that we would ruin the nice fabrics of our garments. I always thought that she secretly just liked taking care of us.

“Ollie? I thought you were on shop duty toda–” she broke off mid-sentence when she saw me in the entryway. She plopped the basket she was carrying onto the floor and yanked me into a warm hug. The top of her head didn’t even reach my shoulder, and she wrapped her arms tightly around my waist, squeezing me with a strength that one wouldn’t expect from a woman of her tiny stature.

“Redd! Honey, I’m thrilled to see you, but I told you we were doing just fine here, what in the realms are you doing back?” she chastised warmly. She refused to release me, clinging like a barnacle. I returned the hug, feeling my insides warm.

I had forgotten how much a good hug from Ma could brighten a day.

“I know, I know Ma, but you know I worry about you! I scurried off so quickly and I wasn’t sure how things would turn out here once I was gone.” I tried to hide the relief in my voice. I didn’t want her to know how much her vague letters had been eating at me in the weeks since I had left for Moonvale. I had been imagining the worst-case scenarios.

She leaned back and gripped me by the shoulders. “I told you things were fine, and I meant it, sweet foolish boy,” she said warmly.

My Pa entered the room then. “What’s all the fussing about in here?” he asked. “Ah, Redd! You’re back! Good to see you, my boy!” He pulled me from Ma’s grip and enveloped me in a hug of his own, thumping me firmly on the back in a way that would knock the breath out of a smaller folk.

His darkly bearded face was bright, and his cheeks were flushed, as though he had just finished a bout of belly laughter. He looked bright and full of life, a stark contrast to how sullen and defeated he had looked the last time I saw him. His one jagged fang caught the light as he smiled.

“We were just taking the day off to relax at home,” he explained. “The boys have been handling the shop so well they hardly need our help anymore. I’m only really needed for special orders or projects that need more hands.”

They proceeded to explain to me that things had gradually settled down, and that aside from the normal bouts of problems that arose in any folk’s life, nothing out of the ordinary had been happening since around the time I had left. They had settled back into a peaceful routine, and even had the time to step back and enjoy the days for themselves.

The lingering tension in my muscles slowly drained away.

I settled into the sitting room with a cup of spearmint and gooseberry tea to reminisce with my family before dinner.

“You know, Ma, your letter really freaked me out. It didn’t sound like you at all, and I could have sworn you purposely avoided answering my questions. Care to explain?” I grabbed a bowl of steamed pork and grains, heaping a pile onto my plate.

“Oh, honey, I was trying to multitask. You know how scatterbrained I can be. I just wanted to be sure you knew how much I missed you!” She reached over and patted the back of my hand that was resting on the table.

I let the relief of that wash over me, even as it irritated me a bit. I had gotten all worked up for nothing. They were perfectly fine, even having time for new hobbies and chores.

“So, you back for good? Did you scratch the exploring itch?” my Ma asked. “We can work you back into the rotation tomorrow, we’ve got a barn remodel to do over at the farm.”

I had never really explained to my family why I had really left, merely mentioning the desire to travel. I was taken aback by the feeling that flooded me at the thought of never returning to Moonvale.

“Uh, no, I must go back at some point. They still need me,” I explained lamely.

“We need you too, Redd,” my Pa chimed in.

“Yeah, but you guys are clearly doing just fine here without me. And I left some of my clothes back at the cottage I was renting in Moonvale. I just need to go pick them up. And I promised the pub owner Ginger that I would build her a new set of high-top tables.”

My Ma looked at me knowingly. She knew that clothes could easily be replaced, and that what I had rambled wasn’t the real reason that I itched to return to the snowy town on the other side of the Barren Lands.

“Your clothes, huh?” she asked. “I didn’t realize you were so attached to your belongings. Could there possibly be something else that is drawing you back to Moonvale?”

I fought the warmth that was spreading up my neck and into my face, willing my blood to be calm and still in my veins. I wasn’t sure if it was working, and by the slight quirk to my Ma’s mouth, I had a feeling it wasn’t.

“I also told the mayor that I would be back. I can’t betray his trust like that, he has been very consistent and helpful to me,” I explained, not sure if I was digging my hole deeper or clawing my way out of it. The lie gnawed at me with tiny teeth.

“By the way you explained it, you’ve spent a good amount of your time with the owner of that trinket shop. It sounds like that was a huge project,” she prodded.

I let out a deep sigh, knowing that it was no use trying to hide things from my Ma. She could read me like a book–she was exceptional at reading folk.

Keeping as much to myself as possible, I admitted that, perhaps, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the realms if I had to see the vivacious vampire running the trinket shop again. She was loud and obnoxious and achingly lovely, but she was surprisingly pleasant to be around.

Her energy had begun to seep between the cracks in my defenses, and she was slowly crawling under my skin, inch by inch. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to get her out again. She had breached my defenses in a way no other had before.

And, technically, the shop wasn’t finished yet. She could use more of my help.

“Oooooh, Redd’s got a crush!” my brother Ollie chimed in a singsong voice.

“I’m a grown ass man. It’s not a crush,” I defended. “I just think she’s a very impressive and admirable woman. She works hard. She takes no bullshit. She speaks her mind.”

“Impressive and admirable? Forget a crush, Redd’s in love,” my brother Wayde mocked.

“You’ve been with your lady since you were littles, you shouldn’t be offering romantic feedback to anyone,” I grumbled, glaring at him, uncomfortable with the turn the conversation had taken. My family was big on mocking– anything and everything was fair game with us, but for some reason I found myself wanting to protect the idea of Fiella and keep her to myself.

I wanted to wrap her stories up inside myself and shelter them from the realms, where they were mine alone and I didn’t have to share them.

I wanted the bits and pieces of her to be mine.

I wanted her to be mine.