Chapter 3
Chapter Three
T here was so much that she was thankful for. In the past weeks, she had tried to focus on the positive things. The small situations that made her happy. Like being back at work at the restaurant. She loved being in the middle of the hustle and the bustle while knowing every single face around her.
Hearing her name called, she turned and quickly filled another order from a couple she’d gone to school with. The fact that they were on their third child made her briefly question her own life choices.
She’d been so focused on her art and making movies over the past few years that she’d never once thought about marriage or having her own family.
Lucas and Avery were happily making that dream come true. In her mind, she had plenty of time to go off and make something of herself.
Then, as if being struck by lightning, it dawned on her. Her mother would never get to hold her grandchild.
Her heart sank as tears threatened to roll down her cheeks.
“I need a break,” she told her friend and coworker, Juliette.
Juliette Elliott had been in her grade in school and had started working at the restaurant when she had. The two had a lot more in common than she’d imagined. They were the same height and weight, had the same color hair, and both loved old black-and-white horror movies. They’d spent their summers hitting all the old movie festivals together.
“You okay?” Juliette asked, concerned.
“Yeah,” she said and dashed down the hall towards the kitchen. Using the back door, she stepped out into the snow and continued walking until she realized she’d gone all the way to the beach without her coat on.
Wrapping her arms around herself, she allowed the tears to fall. She closed her eyes and just breathed as the pain of knowing her mother wouldn’t be there for those special moments filled her. Her mind flashed to so many things she would miss. The birth of her first grandchild. Holding the baby and seeing it walk for the first time when it got older.
Sophia and Lucas had had their grandfather, their dad’s father, in their lives when they’d been children. She could only vaguely remember her grandmother, who had died when Sophia was six.
Their grandfather, Lucas Marcus Rodriguez, had passed away at the age of eighty-four, the year after she and her mother had moved to Pride. It had been a deep loss. Nothing like she was feeling for her mother now, but she knew that her mother and Lucas Sr. had been as close as a father and daughter could be without really being related.
From the moment her mother had married her dad, her grandfather had done all he could to protect his daughter-in-law.
Her mind switched gears to her own wedding. If she found someone worth marrying, her mother wouldn’t be there for that either. Who was she going to go dress shopping with?
She was being selfish. Loads of other people didn’t have their parents.
“You’re going to freeze if you stand there much longer like that.” The voice directly behind her made her jump.
She spun around and saw Palmer walking towards her with a blanket in his hands. She didn’t say anything as he wrapped the thick warm thing around her shoulders.
“Everything okay?” he asked as his eyes ran over her face slowly.
How had she never realized that his eyes were a deep rich molasses color? His face was covered with a dark stubble, matching his hair, which was tucked under a stocking cap. He was wearing a thick tan snow coat, black cargo pants, and work boots.
He looked even better than she remembered, better than he had in her dreams all of these years.
“I…” Her voice cracked, and she coughed.
“See, you’ve already caught a cold.” He took her shoulders. “Let’s get you inside.”
After two steps, she pulled free. “No, really, I… I’m just on my break.” She motioned the way she’d come.
The beach was only three blocks away from the restaurant, and when she’d worked there before, she’d spent many of her breaks at the beach, enjoying the weather and the sound of the waves crashing. “I have to get back.” She started to walk in the opposite direction than he had been trying to lead her. Then she stopped and turned with a frown. “Where did you come from?” she asked. His dark eyebrows rose slowly. “I mean”—she motioned to the blanket—“with this?”
He chuckled. “I’m renting the cottage just there.” He motioned to the small beach home that sat just beyond the tall grass.
“You’re renting Brook’s place?” she asked.
He nodded. “I’ve been living there for a few years now. I like the view.” He motioned to the ocean behind them.
She smiled. “It’s why I take my breaks here.”
He nodded. “Next time, you might want to grab your coat. We’re supposed to have another week of this.” He waved his hand towards the snow that was falling.
“Right.” She took a deep breath and realized that her tears were all dried up.
“Are you okay?” He took a step towards her.
“Yes, just…” She was about to tell him she missed her mother but then remembered his own painful past—how his and Parker’s parents had abandoned them, kept them apart for most of their lives, and were now in prison in Portland for nearly killing Parker and Sara. So, instead, she said, “Tired.”
She moved to give him the blanket back, but he held up his hands. “Keep it. You’ll need it to stay warm on your walk back.”
The wind had kicked up, and a chill washed over her. She wrapped the blanket tighter around herself. “Thanks, I can bring it back after I’m off shift?”
He smiled quickly. “I’d like that. I’ll be here.” He motioned to the cottage.
She smiled. “See you later then.” She turned to go.
“Maybe you can bring me a chimichanga,” he called out.
She chuckled. “Chicken or beef?”
“Beef,” he answered quickly.
“Done.” She turned to go.
“With chips and guacamole?” he added.
She laughed and turned towards him again. “Anything else?”
“Maybe something for yourself? We could… eat together?” His eyebrows rose slightly while her eyes narrowed.
“Are you trying to sneak a date?” she teased.
He smiled and she realized that his smile was slightly crooked. How was it that she found that so sexy? Damn.
“Not sneak, just… seizing on an opportunity that fell into my lap.” He chuckled.
She sighed. “I get off at seven. Is that too late?”
He shook his head. “Perfect. I’ll see you then.”
By the time she made it back into work, she was freezing. The blanket had kept her shoulders and arms warm enough, but the rest of her took forever to warm up again, even when the dinner rush had her running around like a madwoman. There was sweat dripping down her back but her feet and hands remained chilled like icicles.
As she walked back towards the beach, her hands full with dinner for herself and Palmer, a warmth finally spread throughout her entire body. Maybe it was because her mind was buzzing with thoughts of spending time with the man she’d dreamed about throughout most of her teenage years.
The snow was still falling steadily as she stepped onto the front porch. There was a porch swing with big comfortable pillows, two chairs, and a fire pit with a dying fire in it.
She shook the snow from her coat and boots and knocked on the door. A dog barked seconds later, the deep sound causing her to jump slightly. When Palmer opened the door, a small black dog ran out and raced around her feet.
“That’s Loki,” Palmer said with a grin. “He’s harmless.” They both watched as the dog fell face-first into the sand. “And stupid,” he added with a laugh.
“Hi.” She smiled down at the dog when he rushed towards her. “His bark sounded much bigger than he is.”
Palmer laughed. “He hasn’t grown into it yet.”
“He’s just a puppy?” she asked as he reached out and took the bag of food from her and motioned for her to come in.
“No, he’s six. He just doesn’t know he’s not going to grow anymore.” He set the bag down on a table.
She stepped into the small home and glanced around. The place looked well lived in. Not messy, but… comfortable.
It had what appeared to be newer hardwood floors with several large deep-blue rugs scattered over the area.
There was a leather sofa and a chair facing a massive flat-screen television that hung over a gas fireplace. The kitchen was the biggest space in the room. It took up at least half of the area and had an island that was as big as her bed. Beautiful black cage lights hung over the stone countertop and four iron barstools sat along the bar area.
There was a small reading nook with a window seat filled with large comfortable-looking pillows where the dining room should have been. A small desk with a laptop sat against the wall, the dining room chandelier hanging directly over it.
“My office,” he said with a smile, noticing her gaze. “I don’t often have guests over for dinner. We can sit at the bar.” He motioned for her to come all the way inside.
She removed her coat and hung it next to his on the hook by the door. When she sat down at the bar, he walked over and opened the fridge.
“Beer?” he asked, glancing back at her.
“Sure,” she said, guessing that the liquor would warm her and possibly make her feel a little more relaxed. She was jumpy, shaky, and, underneath it all, thrilled to be able to spend time with him.
He popped the top on a couple of Coronas and set one down in front of her.
“Thanks for bringing dinner,” he said, motioning to an envelope. “I paid for the entire meal.” He slid it towards her.
“That wasn’t necessary.” She tried to slide it back towards him.
“Nope.” He slid it back. “Sneaky dates always have to pay for their meals.” He winked at her and started pulling the food out of the bag. “Did you walk here?” he asked with a frown.
“I walk to work and home,” she answered as she lifted the lid on the fresh guacamole she’d made before leaving work.
“Don’t have a car?”
“I have two, actually.” She shrugged. “I like walking more. Besides, it’s only four blocks.”
“In the snow and now in the dark,” he pointed out.
“It’s Pride, not New York,” she returned, though she’d spent plenty of nights walking home in the dark and snow in the city after classes. She decided to keep that information to herself.
He was still frowning as he took a sip of his beer. “So, are you ready to talk?” he asked as he opened his container of food. Seeing the tacos she’d brought for herself, he slid it towards her and took out his chimichanga. “What upset you earlier today?”
She shrugged and took a big bite of her taco, using it as an excuse not to answer.
“Your mother was a pretty amazing woman.” He took a bite of his own food.
“She was.” She nodded and then took a sip of the cold beer.
“Lucas and I chatted the other day at the hardware store.” She turned to look at him. “He’s been upset thinking about his kid not having a grandparent.”
She closed her eyes and set the beer down.
“Hey,” he said softly as a tear slipped down her cheek.
“She was looking forward to seeing her grandchild,” she whispered. Strong arms wrapped around her, holding her to his chest. “I’ve been so selfish since I came back, only thinking of how I’ll miss her. Until earlier today, not once did I think…” Her voice cracked again.
His fingers slipped into her hair, brushing it gently as she held onto him.
“How do you do it?” she asked, leaning back a little until his hands dropped away. “Aren’t you pissed? I mean, I’m sad, yes, but…” She shook her head. “I’m so mad at the world for taking her away too early.”
He sighed heavily. “Not everyone is dealt the same cards in life.”
“I know.” She leaned back in her chair. “Really, you and Parker have one another. Your parents are…”
“Assholes?” He shrugged. “Yeah, but we also had some really great people in our lives because of them. Parker had our grandmother. I had an aunt. We have cousins. Now we have each other.”
She nodded. “I’m thankful I have Lucas and Avery.”
“They’re lucky you decided to come back.” His eyebrows rose slightly. “Rumors, however, are going around that you won’t be here long.”
She shrugged, wiped her face dry, and took another sip of her beer. “I’m here. For now. I’m waiting until my niece or nephew is born to make any decisions.”
He tapped her bottle with his own beer. “Something tells me you’re going to be the best aunt around.”
She smiled. “Thanks for this.” She motioned to the food. “It’s the first time I’ve gotten out and done something personal since returning.”
“Seriously?” He frowned. “You’ve been back, what? A month?”
She nodded. “I haven’t felt much like socializing. Besides, working fills that void.” She took another bite of her taco.
“What about your movies? Are you still filming?”
She shook her head. “No, I just haven’t felt like it. Besides, since Luna and Rusty passed, I don’t have my stars.”
“You’re always welcome to use Loki,” he joked.
She glanced down at the little black dog sitting at Palmer’s feet, begging for scraps.
“I don’t know. Has Loki done any acting before?” she asked with a smirk.
For the rest of the meal, Palmer made a point to keep the conversation light. She laughed for the first time since her mother’s passing.
She had forgotten what it was like to have friends. To be appreciated. To be known.
Palmer asked her about her projects, about school, about her life. She talked more about herself in the next hour than she had in years.
She asked him as many questions as he asked her. At one point, when they were both done eating, they moved out onto the front porch. He started the fire in the fire pit again, and Loki snuggled up with her as she sat in one of the chairs tucked under a thick blanket.
The snow was falling much faster now, and she knew before the sun rose the next morning, they’d have close to a foot on the ground.
It seemed like spring was never going to get here, which flared her depression up even more. However, being right here, with Palmer and Loki, it didn’t matter to her. She liked the snow.
She’d always loved walking in it to and from work. And that way she didn’t have to worry about driving into a ditch. Walking was not only easier, it was also less expensive.
Lucas was working on getting the bank to release her mother’s bank accounts and move what money was in there over to her own accounts.
She had initially pushed back, wanting whatever their mother had left to be split equally. Then Lucas said that the restaurant was doing so well that he and Avery wanted everything to go to her instead.
Since she was unsure about her future, she didn’t put up much of a fight. Besides, she doubted there was much left over after their mother had paid off the mortgage a year ago.
“And I just lost you,” Palmer said, breaking into her thoughts.
“Sorry.” She shook her head.
“No, it’s my fault.” He glanced at his watch. “I’ve kept you way too late.” He stood up suddenly. “How about Loki and I walk you back to your place? He could use the exercise.” He walked over and opened the door to retrieve her coat.
“Thanks,” she said, as he slipped it over her shoulders and helped her slide her arms into the sleeves.
They walked down the dark beach in silence at first, with Loki happily leading the way. Not that the dog knew where they were going. He often stopped to pee on a piece of driftwood or a patch of grass.
“We’re less than a mile from one another,” Palmer pointed out when the lights from her neighborhood appeared as they rounded the bend.
“If you walk on the beach. I think it’s almost two if you drive.” She sighed. “Everything in Pride is close. One of its many charms. The small, close-knit beach town.” She glanced over at him, his cotton hat now covered in snow. “It has everything anyone could ever want.”
“Is that one of the reasons you’re sticking around?” he asked, stopping and turning towards her. She ran her eyes over his face, which was lit dimly from the lights of her neighborhood
After that night, she realized that the main reason she wanted to stay was the possibility of more moments like this.
Could she take a chance? Change her future? Chance happiness?