Love Me Gently (Deer Creek #1)

Seventeen

Cole

Now

* * *

“How is she? Awake yet?”

As predicted, my mom was pacing and worrying her knotted hands together when I reached the kitchen. Instead of worthlessly pacing in the living room, she’d moved to the kitchen where pots and pans filled all four burners on my stovetop.

Stress cooking. Couldn’t blame her, and I wasn’t at all surprised.

“No. But she’s here.”

“I still can’t believe…she’s so hurt…what kind of monster…”

My mom shook her head as she started and stopped a half-dozen more sentences. Couldn’t blame her there, either. There wasn’t much to say and certainly no explanations to give where anything made sense.

“Dr. McElroy says nothing is broken, so that’s a good thing. She’ll heal, Ma. And she’s here and safe. Be thankful for the small things.”

“Right.”

The edges of her lips curled up. “You’re so wise.”

“Had wise parents. What are you cooking?”

“Soup. Figured broth would be good for her, and she always liked my rolls so I’m baking some of them, too.”

A memory of eating dinner with Trina’s family came to mind. Sunday family dinners were a big thing around here and Pastor Mills, Trina’s dad, always insisted on having a potluck at his house. Mom always made sure to bring her rolls, and Trina, the picky eater she was, would have half her plate piled high with them, the other half usually macaroni and cheese.

“She did.”

I chuckled at the memory and kissed my mom’s cheek. “Thanks for helping out and doing this. I appreciate it.”

Her warm, soft palm pressed to my cheek. A good eight inches taller than my mom, I’d towered over her since I was fourteen years old and in eighth grade. Being disciplined by a woman I could pick up and move out of the way had been unsettling, but lucky for Mom, she’d done a good job raising me to be respectful.

Plus, Dad woulda had my hide if I’d treated her any less than the good and sweet woman she was.

“I’m glad she’s here. Her face, though…”

I couldn’t think about how bad she looked without wanting to punch something. Which was why I kept trying to focus on the positive. “Good thing is it’ll never happen again. Not to her.”

Tears swelled in her eyes as she smiled and stepped back. “I still can’t believe she’s here, after all these years. Her parents will be so thrilled.”

“Don’t call them. Or don’t tell them. Not yet.”

“Why not?”

Her shocked eyes jumped to me as she tasted her soup.

“That’ll be her choice, her timing and her decision.”

She’d had enough of them taken away. This wasn’t one I would push on her too soon.

“But—”

“Don’t, Ma. I know what you’re going to say, and I know they’d love to hear from her, but you gotta keep this quiet. At least until she’s awake and we can talk.”

Her lips worked back and forth before she finally nodded. “All right. I get what you’re saying.”

“Thank you. How were the kids and Marie?”

“June was upset you weren’t here. Ella didn’t seem to react. I told Marie you got called in for a case, so she happily took them.”

“Good.”

I patted my back pocket and pulled out my phone. “I need to give her a call, let her know what’s going on.”

“You’re going to tell her?”

My mom froze as she took bowls out of the cupboard and peered at me over her shoulder. “All of it?”

I couldn’t very well hide the fact I had a woman in my home from my kids. And that was if Marie was okay with them being here in the first place. “Of course not all. But this messes with her life too, right now.”

I dialed her number and while I expected her voice to be the one who answered, I wasn’t at all upset by the tiny little voice that did. “Daddy!”

“Hey Junie bug.”

I grinned into the phone and headed downstairs. “You having fun?”

“Where were you today? I missed you, and I didn’t get my hug.”

“I know, kiddo. But things came up with work. I’ll get your hug soon.”

“I don’t like it when I can’t hug you.”

Her little pouty tone started to shake. My heart hurt hearing it even if I knew she’d move on in a moment.

“I know, kiddo. It’s okay though, right? It’ll just make the next one extra special.”

“Mommy said I can only say hi and then I have to go to bed. Can you sing to me really quick?”

“Really quick, June.”

I sang off a hurried tune of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,”

and then managed to coax June to get into bed and listen to her mommy.

When Marie’s voice came through the phone, I said a silent thanks that June’s tantrum didn’t explode. “You doing okay?”

Marie asked. “Long day for you.”

“Yeah. Listen. We gotta talk.”

“You hurt?”

Panic infused her tone. I should have known it would. For as bad as a husband I’d been to her, she’d been an incredible wife, and was always there. Always understanding of my job and role and risks.

“No. No. I’m good. But there’s something that’s happened that we’re gonna have to talk about. Sit-down style.”

“Oh gosh. This sounds bad.”

“Not bad. But I think it’s going to hurt you, and for that I’m sorry, but I need you to know it, think through it, and then let me know when you’re ready to talk about it.”

“Cole…”

“Trina’s here,”

I told her, ripped off the pain like a band-aid and like I knew it would hurt, her quick gasp said it all. Before she could say anything, I continued. “Please, please keep this to yourself. I know it’s gonna be hard, but it’s not what you think.”

“She’s in your home.”

“Yeah.”

“She’s in your home and you sent your girls away so you could what…spend the day reconnecting?”

“No. Shit, Marie, no it’s not like that, and you know I wouldn’t do that. Not to them or you. Listen.”

I lowered my voice before I continued and gave her a moment to get her panic under control. “I can’t get into specifics right now, at least not until you swear you won’t tell anyone a thing, but I sort of…well… I sort of stole her from her husband.”

“You…”

“Who’s been beating her.”

I finished it quickly, on a whisper, and prayed she’d be the woman I knew her to be.

A thick, heavy silence hit the phone and then a rush of breath, followed by a quick chuckle.

“Only you. Only you would do that.”

“It’s worse than that. Swear it to you, Marie, but she’s here. And she will be for a while. Her injuries are bad, bad.”

There were a thousand reasons why I liked Marie. So many reasons of why I thought she’d be the woman to truly get me over my lingering obsession with Trina. It wasn’t just that our values aligned, and it wasn’t because of how whip-smart she was and how passionate she was about causes she believed in. She was also a woman filled with kindness and grace, a woman who tried to understand others’ perspectives before jumping to conclusions, and a woman who genuinely cared about people.

“That’s horrible,”

she whispered. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

And just like that, I remembered all the reasons why I married her. Logically, she was my perfect match. It was just that my heart had always been shelved for the broken woman a floor away from me.

“I know. I’ll give you the full story when I can, but since she’ll be here for a while, with the girls and all…”

“I’ll keep them. Of course I will. It’s fine. And you can come see them or take them at night or whatever. You know that.”

I licked my lips and stared down at my feet. “Thank you. I’ll see the girls tomorrow after school and let them know I’m taking care of a sick friend if that’s okay.”

“Just tell me what you need, and I’ll do it. Within reason of course.”

“Of course.”

I didn’t miss the warning. She’d help, but she wouldn’t be happy about this. “I should get going.”

“I’ll give the girls kisses from you.”

“Thanks, Marie. I appreciate it.”

There was a hitch in her breath and while I expected a goodbye that wasn’t what came.

“What happens after?”

she asked, and I flinched at the pain in her voice. “When she’s better. Are you planning on having her stay…there? I mean?”

I wanted it more than my last breath, but I couldn’t tell her that. Not then. “Too early to make that call, honey.”

“But you want that…never mind. Don’t answer. Good night, Cole.”

The line ended before I could say a thing, although truthfully, what was left to say?

She’d found the pics of Trina, and she’d heard the stories. Getting her to move to Deer Creek and live in the same town when half the folks knew my high school girlfriend and soulmate vanished on me and her family wasn’t a thrilling prospect for her. Then she’d found the letters, and everything went downward from there.

She stayed in town for the girls, to give them the life in a small town she wanted for them.

This was already hard enough for her, and now I’d made it even harder.

“Cole?”

I tore my gaze off my phone and my regrets and failures and turned to face Dr. McElroy.

“Yeah? Everything okay?”

“She’s awake. I’ll let you two talk and then I’ll fill you in before I leave.”

Trina was awake. Alert. Thank God.

There wasn’t a word to describe the void in Trina’s expression as I entered the room. She looked exactly the same. Somehow, I’d expected color to return or for her to look happy or something when she finally woke up, but the darkness in her eyes could have blanketed the entire town. And that darkness had nothing to do with the discoloration and swelling on her face.

“Hey,”

I said, and stepped further toward the bed.

Her eyes were on the window, curtains and blinds open. There wasn’t much to see but trees and maybe a hint of the afternoon sun peeking through them.

Hard to believe it was still afternoon. Considering the day, I felt like I’d aged a decade in twenty-four hours.

“You’re awake.”

Trina’s eyes strayed to a picture on the nightstand table. It was a photo of June, Ella, and me at Oak Island over the summer.

Both of them were clinging to my shoulders. A nice mom who’d been grappling with her own three kids all day had offered to take our picture.

My trunks were soaked and clung to my thighs, my hair an absolute mess from being in the water all day. June and Ella’s weren’t any better, but they’d thought it was hilarious that I bought swim trunks that matched their yellow and white hibiscus flowered ones, so there we were.

Thrilled.

Happy.

Joyful.

Smiling and sun-kissed and laughing.

Slowly, Trina’s head twisted, and she met my gaze straight on. With no change of expression in her eyes, no light whatsoever, she deadpanned, “You have kids now.”

It was absolutely the very last way I expected her to start a conversation.

“Yeah.”

I choked down the words climbing up my throat. The comments I’d usually make bragging about them, giving her their names and ages, and telling her everything about how awesome they were.

The look in her eyes stopped me.

“Good. That’s good you have that now.”

There was no happiness in her tone that said she meant it, only the same chillingly blank tone and expression.

“Did Sheila tell you what happened or where you are?”

“Deer Creek. Your house. You were at the hospital.”

She said it like an accusation.

I hadn’t known if she’d remember or not, if she was ever truly aware of my presence. “Valerie called and said you needed help.”

I took another step toward her bed. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

She closed her eyes and turned her head away from me. “You weren’t supposed to see me like that. You were never supposed to see me.”

Her words gutted me. So did her dry tone.

Trina was anything but dry and lifeless. Hell, she’d left Deer Creek because she had a thirst for adventure. She’d always been quick to laugh, quick to plan something that was guaranteed to get one of us, if not both, grounded.

Maybe I had to start thinking of the Trina as I knew her as gone, but I couldn’t. I’d do anything to bring that part of her back to life.

“Trina—”

“Katrina.”

She flinched as she said it, and I bit my tongue to keep from snapping that she wasn’t that. She would never be that again because I had no doubt she didn’t choose it but was given it.

The fight for that could come later, along with so many I figured were coming.

“Ma’s upstairs with some soup. I can bring it to you.”

“I don’t want to see her.”

“You don’t have to. I can go get it.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You need to eat, Trina…you need…”

Her head shifted, eyes popped open. “Don’t even think for a second you have any idea what I need, Cole.”

She closed her eyes again, turned her face back to the window and went silent, breathing so slowly her chest barely rose and fell.

I’d give her that. She’d probably had many years of not having many choices, at least none that were truly hers in the first place.

“All right, honey. I’ll let you sleep.”

She had no reaction to me calling her honey, and even though her eyes were closed, there was no way she was sleeping. She could fake it, sure, and I’d let her have that play, too. But someday, as the bruises and bones and ligaments and muscles all started to heal, she’d have to face what happened.

Figure out what she wanted, who she wanted to be now.

I went to the nightstand on the other side of the bed, grabbed the bell Sheila had left out and moved it closer to her. Setting down the bell, I opened the drawer to the nightstand and knocked the photo of my kids into it. It clearly wasn’t helping her any.

“There’s a bell here,”

I told her softly. “Ring it if you need anything, but I’ll be checking on you. I know you’re angry, probably feeling a whole lot of things. But I worked with Valerie and Kip to get you safe and away from him. Be pissed at me for a lot of things, if you need to, but don’t be pissed that I couldn’t bear the thought of you being hurt like that anymore.”

She didn’t say a word, which wasn’t unexpected or surprising.

She might think she was Katrina now and Trina didn’t exist, but the Trina I remembered had always been a gold medalist in winning the silent treatment.

Looked like that asshole hadn’t beaten everything out of her after all.