CHAPTER FOURTEEN #3
“The only other name I could think of was Spider, and that sounded stupid. Snake and Spider.”
“You’re right. And what the hell? Embrace the Fate. Grindstone. And she didn’t mention Wolf Pack at all.”
“I know. She’s obviously not a fan. I’m glad I only fake put her number in my phone.” Wolf grinned.
“Do you want to walk around some more or head back?”
“Let’s head back. I walked around enough in the sun today.”
When they got back to the RVs, Ethan and Tyler and Marshall and Amy were sitting in a circle under a pop-up tent.
As soon as Marshall saw them approaching, he sat up taller, tapped Ethan on the arm with the back of his hand, pointed, and said something that Harris couldn’t hear.
Ethan smiled. “It’s Wolf and Harris.”
Marshall and Amy stared intently, neither saying a word.
“It’s us!” Harris called and waved but they still sat unmoving.
Marshall stood up and stared, hands on his hips, gaze shifting to security standing at attention nearby.
It wasn’t until they were only a few feet apart and Wolf started talking that Marshall recognized them and relaxed.
“Oh my God. You look totally different! I was about to tell security to call for back up.”
“We walked around the festival,” Harris replied. “No one suspected anything.”
“Great job.” Marshall told Tyler.
“Thanks,” Tyler replied. “Let me know if you want a disguise. I’ve got a lot of goodies in my arsenal.”
“Did you have a good time at the festival?” Amy asked.
“We had a great time,” Harris replied and shared a smile with Wolf. “We got invited to a party by a bunch of real bikers in a bike club, and Wolf got hit on by this hot chick.”
“Oooh, how intriguing!” Tyler exclaimed and leaned forward intently. “Tell me more. Are you going to the party? Did the girl give you her number?”
“No. And yes,” Wolf replied.
“Why aren’t you going to the party? It’s a biker party. I bet it’s going to be wild.” Tyler jumped to his feet. “I have an idea! We can all get dressed up like bikers and go.”
“Yeah,” Ethan joked. “That’s just what a bike club wants—a group of unknown bikers crashing their party. We could get into a turf war.”
“They did say we could bring our buddies,” Wolf chimed in. “And they were very friendly. They said there was plenty of alcohol and food.”
“See?” Tyler spun around and faced Ethan, his arms spread wide and emanating with eagerness. “We’re all invited! Let’s go.”
Ethan grabbed one of Tyler’s outstretched hands and pulled him into his lap. “You’re not going anywhere near a group of bikers. You’re staying right here.”
“Well . . .” Tyler pretended to think about it. “Given the choice, you or a biker party, I think I’ll choose you, rock star.”
“You’re a wise man, Tyler Kennedy.”
Harris watched the two share a few brief kisses, then caught Ethan’s eye when Tyler moved to his own chair, and he quickly looked away. “What’s on the agenda for the rest of the night?”
While a few ideas were tossed out, Harris looked at the two remaining empty seats.
They weren’t together. One was between Marshall and Tyler, and the other was between Ethan and Amy.
As if reading Harris’ mind, Marshall and Amy both moved over one seat so Wolf and Harris could sit next to one another.
As they took the empty seats, Wolf had a conversation with Amy about some of the vendors at the festival, but Harris was watching Ethan, watching them.
When Wolf casually grabbed a beer out of the cooler, twisted off the top and handed it to Harris, Ethan still hadn’t averted his eyes.
A knot formed in Harris’ gut. He tried to play it cool and acted like he didn’t just have heated words with Ethan the last time they spoke, and he added to the conversation about what to do tonight.
Remembering Cathy’s enthusiasm about the bands she wanted to see, he suggested they check out Grindstone’s set.
“I’ve never seen them play, but I hear they put on an awesome show,” he added.
Wolf grinned at him. “You just want to meet that girl and her friends.”
“I do not!”
“Are you sure? Because I saw you smiling at her.”
“I was trying not to laugh because she was obviously into you and you were flirting with her.”
“I was,” Wolf told the group. “I was totally flirting with her.” He leaned over and gave Harris a quick peck on the lips. “But I was only playing. I still love you, baby.”
Harris’ cheeks heated. He felt as if the temperature rose 10 degrees, and he could feel Ethan’s eyes boring into him, even though he refused to look in the guy’s direction.
He looked at Wolf, who was grinning with that damn mischievous glint in his eyes.
Was that kiss and the “I love you” for Ethan’s benefit?
Harris didn’t know, but he wasn’t sticking around to find out.
He wanted no drama. He stood up and headed straight for his RV.
“I’m gonna shower and take this stuff off my face. ”
“Wait!” Tyler called. “You need adhesive remover.”
Fuck. Harris stopped mid-stride but didn’t turn around.
“Let’s go to the salon, and I’ll take care of it. You too, Wolfie.”
As Harris sat in the salon chair and Tyler slowly peeled the fake goatee from his chin, he asked. “Is Ethan pissed at me?”
Tyler chuckled sardonically. “Oh no you don’t. You’re not dragging me in the middle of this. Whatever is going on here is between you three. I’m Switzerland. I’m staying out of it.”
They spent the rest of the night together as a group watching bands from the side stage and then sitting under the stars around a bonfire, and it made everything feel normal. Everything was normal, but Wolf still needed to clear the air with Ethan, and he wasn’t waiting one more second.
Staring at the door to Ethan’s RV, Wolf reflected on their life together, his past feelings for his best friend, and how much their dynamic had changed over the last two years.
Part of him always knew that they’d never end up together the way he’d hoped, but he never thought he’d be at peace with it.
He never thought he’d fall in love so quickly or so completely, but he did.
He contemplated going back to his RV and coming back in the morning, but the lights were still on at this late hour, and he could hear Ethan and Tyler’s voices, as well as the TV, so he knew he wasn’t interrupting anything.
If he waited any longer, that might not be the case, so he rapped his knuckles on the door.
“Ethan, it’s me. Can we talk for a bit?”
The door swung open, and Tyler stood there in a short black velvet robe that had a huge pink fuzzy collar. “Come in before the vampires get you.”
“I hope I’m not intruding,” Wolf said, climbing into the RV and silently reminding himself not to comment on the robe, which was kinda fabulous.
“Not at all,” Tyler replied. “We’re just watching re-runs.”
Wolf took a few steps into the RV where Ethan was sitting in front of the flatscreen. “Got a few minutes?”
Ethan’s face turned pensive, and he nodded.
“I’ll just go for a walk or something,” Tyler said, pointing toward the door.
Wolf felt like he should tell Tyler he didn’t have to go, but he wanted privacy. “You can hang out with Harris. He’s in his RV.”
“Perfect.” Tyler gave Ethan a quick peck and headed for the door.
“Wait,” Harris called. The guy was walking outside at night in the desert wearing only a robe and slippers. “Don’t you want to change?”
“You’re right.” Tyler looked down. “I’ll never get the sand out of my slippers.” He kicked them off and pulled on a pair of combat boots but never bothered to put on something besides the robe, and he sauntered out of the RV.
Ethan smiled and shook his head as his eyes stayed trained on the door.
The affection in that gaze told everything.
Normally, Wolf envied the looks and interactions between Ethan and Tyler, because he wanted that same thing, but now he had it.
And that’s what he needed to explain to his best friend.
“He’s wearing shorts and a tank top underneath the robe, by the way,” Ethan explained.
“So, he’s just making a fashion statement?”
“He always does.” Ethan clicked off the TV. “What’s on your mind?”
“You know what’s on my mind.” Wolf took a seat on the couch next to his friend. “I know it was a shock to find out about me and Harris, but you can understand why we were keeping things on the down low.”
“No. I can’t. We tell each other everything. Everything. Why wouldn’t you tell me you had real feelings for Harris? That it was more than just that random kiss.”
“Because I knew exactly what you’d say. You’d tell me I was being foolish and impulsive. That I was going to get my heart broken.”
“Yeah. You’re right. That’s exactly what I would have said, because I care about you. Getting involved with a close friend isn’t a good idea. It usually doesn’t turn out well.”
“Really?” Wolf smirked. “We’re still best friends.”
The sadness on Ethan’s face transformed it into something almost unrecognizable.
“I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you.
It guts me to know how much you were hurting, and I was too stupid to notice.
Too wrapped up in my own shit to know how you felt.
I don’t want that to happen to you again.
Ever. He said you came to him over the years and told him how you felt. Why couldn’t you tell me?”
“Because I knew you didn’t feel the same way. It would have been awkward, and I was afraid we couldn’t move past it. That would’ve hurt a million times more.”
Ethan moved closer and placed his arm around Wolf’s shoulder. “Nothing would ever ruin our friendship. I love you.”
A lump formed in Wolf’s throat, and his chest tightened. “I love you too.”
Ethan gave him a side hug, their heads pressing together. “I just want you to be happy.”
“I want that too. I want what you and Tyler have.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of. I’m afraid that you’re jumping into something with Harris because he’s here and offering it to you. I’m afraid you’re falling in love with the idea of being in love.”
“I appreciate that, Ethan, but I know what’s in my heart. I love Harris.”
Ethan pressed his lips together and didn’t say anything for several seconds. “Are you really in love with him? Are you sure?”
“Yes. Didn’t you hear me when I screamed it out the RV?”
“Is that what you said?”
“Yeah. How could you not have heard me?”
“The music in the distance drowned out everything. I just heard you yelling something about Harris.”
“I’m in love with Harrison Young. That’s what I yelled. I should have told you that right away when you walked in, and I feel bad that I didn’t.”
Ethan slowly nodded, his face expressionless. “I’m happy for you, Wolf.”
“You don’t look happy.”
“I’m just worried about you. And what this means for our relationship. A lot has changed, and I don’t want it to.”
“What do you mean?”
“I didn’t know you were still having nightmares until Harris told me.
I didn’t know you and Harris were having late nights together before the tour.
I didn’t know Harris was consoling you in the middle of the night when you couldn’t get back to sleep.
I didn’t know you were struggling. Why didn’t you tell me?
After all these years of friendship, why’d you feel like you couldn’t come to me? ”
“Because you have your own life now. I can’t come knocking on your door at three a.m. because I got rattled from a bad dream. I can’t climb into your bed and have you hold me so I feel safe enough to fall back to sleep.”
The corners of Ethan’s mouth turned downward, and his gaze dropped to the floor.
When he looked up, there were tears in his eyes.
“I know. I miss that. You needed me. And I liked that. I didn’t like the reason behind it.
I fucking hated it. But I liked that you needed me and that I could be the one to make you feel better.
” He sighed. “I know this sounds fucked up, but I feel like Harris is replacing me.”
“That’s exactly how I felt about Tyler. That’s why I was so mean to him in the beginning and gave him such a hard time.”
“No one will ever replace you, Wolf. Ever.”
“No one will ever replace you either. Just because we’re in committed relationships now doesn’t mean we don’t need each other, or that we won’t be there for each other at a moment’s notice. I still need you.”
“You’re right. I still need you too.” Ethan sighed again. “I guess we’re just a pair of co-dependent fools.”
Wolf grunted a laugh. “Disfunction at its finest.” He wrapped his arms around Ethan and gave his best friend a tight hug which was returned twofold. “Love you, bruh.”
“Love you too.”