Chapter 49
Chapter forty-nine
Trees and rocks whipped by as Tabitha zoned out in the back of her rideshare. Her busy mind consumed her focus, and it wasn’t that long after being picked up from Leavenworth that her driver stopped trying to engage.
I wasn’t trying to protect your future. I was trying to protect my heart.
She couldn’t justify being angry with Zac. Vulnerability always came with a price and she knew as well as anyone that you have to look out for yourself. Protect yourself. She’d been doing the same thing for years, never relying on anyone but herself.
And Angus.
The idea that her brother—her twin—had said such hurtful things behind her back felt unreal. That Zac was some “flight of fancy” that she’d cast aside when she got bored.
Tabitha shook her head, trying to dispel the ache while knowing she wouldn’t feel better until she hashed it out with her sibling.
Tabitha:
You free?
Angus:
Yup. You caught me at the perfect time.
I’m halfway through my Seattle to Portland ride and taking a little break.
How was Leavenworth?
Tabitha:
It was fine. I climbed, got stuck halfway through a multi-pitch and had to be evacuated by SAR.
Angus:
No shit?
How’d that happen?
You’re ok, right?
Tabitha:
Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. No one was hurt. A loose rock fell and landed on our rope, so we couldn’t rappel down or climb out.
Three dots did the appear, disappear, reappearing act for a minute and Tabitha had no doubt what her brother was trying to ask. She curbed the impulse to jump down his throat. Because while she was angry, his interference had been so long ago and he was still the only consistent person in her life.
Angus:
Were you climbing with Zac?
Tabitha:
I was.
Angus:
Did you two talk?
There it was.
Tabitha:
We were stranded for hours, of course we talked.
He told me why he left Seattle.
Her phone buzzed, announcing the incoming call. The last thing she wanted was to have this conversation in the back of a rideshare, but putting it off threatened her sanity.
“Hey, sis,” Angus said forlornly.
“Hey.”
“Look, I don’t know what to say.”
“Sorry might be a solid start.” The snark in her tone surprised Tabitha, no doubt it had the same effect on her twin.
“You deserve a lot more than that. But I am . . . sorry, that is. I shouldn’t have put my nose in your business.
But I liked Zac and I didn’t want him to get hurt.
You were doing huge things with your life and the dude lived in a van and planned to follow you around.
I always thought you’d prefer someone more ambitious,” Angus rambled.
Tabita cut him off. “But that wasn’t your call to make.”
“I know that now,” he insisted. “After seeing how destroyed you were I realized how badly I fucked up. And when I asked you about him a couple months later you were so dismissive, so I figured you’d gotten over him and nudging him out was the right call.”
“Nudging? Showing up telling Zac that I would rip his heart out and toss it aside is hardly nudging.” The anger simmered deep inside Tabitha as she struggled to keep her voice low.
She looked up to see her driver was glancing at her through the rearview mirror.
Part of her wanted to let her brother have it, but another part of her knew it wouldn’t help.
“I wanted to tell you, but time kept creeping by and, well, I just didn’t. I really am sorry, sis. If I could go back and undo it all I would. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy.”
Tabitha knew in her core that what he said was true. They’d been there for each other their entire lives. And Angus didn’t have a malicious bone in his entire body.
“Can you forgive me?” he pleaded.
“Yes,” Tabitha said with a heavy sigh. “I already do. But I need a little time to process it all.”
“Meaning?”
“Space.”
“Tabitha—”
“Please, Angus. I need to process this for once instead of packing it all away.”
Her brother sighed. “Yeah, of course. Take as long as you need. I’ll be here.”
“Thanks.”
“Hey, sis?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“Love you too.”