Chapter 4
KAT
Yep. This is exactly what the doctor ordered. The thought causes a quick giggle to escape. I shield my eyes from the sun rippling off the water and relax on the sand. I should have gone home to change first, but the impromptu trip to the beach was too good to pass up. It’s not the first time I’ve washed sand out of my denim shorts.
A couple strolls past, laughing and shoving each other. The woman pushes the man into the surf and he goes down with a splash, only to come up seconds later laughing and spluttering.
He grabs the woman around the waist and hauls her in amid her laughing protests.
This is the place I love most, with the wind in my hair and well, not the sand in my shorts, but all the rest. I wiggle around to a sitting position and grab my phone. It’s been forever since I shared anything on my social media. Things spiraled after my annulment, and I wanted to avoid the spotlight for a while. Not that I have a following or anything, but it is nice to have these memories to look back on. It’s time I started living my life to the fullest, and I’m going to document this moment with a live video. Standing, I brush sand from my legs so they won’t itch and adjust my hat so it’s propped on the back of my head.
It only takes a few seconds to get the video rolling. I angle the camera toward my face and raise it so I’m in the best possible position. My smile is genuine and carefree for the first time in way too long. I wave at the camera and point over my shoulder. “I used to think that retail therapy was the best thing in the world. Turns out that sunshine and ocean waves beat new shoes. At least, it does for me.”
I move the camera around so I’m only taking up half the video and the ocean waves crash in the other half. A man appears in the distance, but the sunlight is so bright that I’m sure no one will pay him much attention. He focuses on the ground near his feet, stooping occasionally to pick up something from the sand.
“Life isn’t just making it from moment to moment.” I point over my shoulder. “This is what life’s all about.” It’s not until I squint against the sun’s glare that I realize I pointed right at the man on the beach. Another quick peek over my shoulder and I realize that the man I just pointed at is Clay.
Oof. My face flames hotter than the sun. I quickly end the video, consider erasing it, but ultimately decide against it. Who’s going to care anyway?
My cousin, Tim, maybe. I can’t help grinning as I imagine Tim seeing the video. He’s such a big brother when it comes to me and guys. No doubt he’ll call the minute he sees it. If he does. He’s been so busy with his lawyer practice and being newly married that he probably doesn’t do much browsing on social media anymore.
My grin falters as I remember our last chat, right after my annulment. Tim really helped me through it all. The hardest part of my life, and it was my grumpy cousin who made me feel validated and safe.
“Kat?” Clay’s smooth voice carries on the wind.
Drat. He found me. Not that I’m hiding. Not by any means. For goodness sake, I’m standing on the beach in broad daylight. I tuck my phone into my pocket as I turn and paste on a smile. “Hey, Clay.” I tent a hand over my eyes and look past him. “No Rex today?”
“He’s with his parents.” Clay chuckles dryly. “I’d offer to bring him to the beach, but I’d probably need one of those kid leashes that parents use at theme parks sometimes. That kid has some crazy energy.”
I can’t help grinning at the look of amusement on Clay’s face. He doesn’t seem to mind Rex’s rambunctiousness. “He’s a cute kid.”
“Yeah.” He scrubs a hand along the back of his neck and brushes away sand. “Seems weird that I’ve only known him a few months.”
“Oh?” Curiosity nibbles at me. This is my chance to learn more about them as a whole family. The dynamics are tight, and they all seem to get along. But I know how easy it is for some to hide their pain and the mental turmoil. Tim fooled them all for years with his gruff attitude and downright meanness. He used it to push them all away so he couldn’t get hurt again.
Clay shrugs one shoulder. “You mind walking with me? I left my shoes on the path and my feet are burning up.”
Hmm. Am I curious enough to take a walk with the cute doctor? He hops from foot to foot, and I take mercy on him. “Yeah, sure.”
His sigh of relief makes me grin. I hide my smile and ease into a slow walk along the water’s edge. “So?”
Clay angles his head toward me while staring out over the water. “You sure you want to hear all this?”
“Trust me, I love learning about families.” It’s true. I love family dynamics and how they play off each other. It’s something I never got from Danny. His name scorches through me like hot lava. I wince at the force of it.
Danny. Groan. I should’ve known better than to marry him so quickly. It was what my mom called a whirlwind romance. It was a whirlwind all right. We were married and then not married within six months. He shattered my trust in men and in myself. I don’t know when I’ll manage to trust anyone again. It feels like everyone is hiding something nowadays. And I can’t stop worrying that I’ll be made a fool of again. Getting close to anyone feels impossible.
Clay drags his feet along the wet sand, carving trenches and grinning. “Quick version is that my brother married Trina during one of those reality TV shows. It turned into real love and they’re happily ever after newlyweds now. I first met Rex, Trina’s nephew, during one of the competitions that the show set up.”
This is the quick version? I nod as I listen, keeping the people sorted in my head requiring most of my thinking. I’m grateful for the reprieve from thoughts of Danny.
“What was the deal with the oatmeal cookies?” I pull my hair over my shoulder to keep the wind from snarling it into knots and turn toward the white fence that eventually leads to our units.
Clay laughs outright and scratches again at his neck. “Oh, that.” Merriment twinkles in his eyes. “I told Adam that Melanie might be pregnant because she sent him to the bakery with orders to buy out all of Ellie’s oatmeal cookies.”
My own laughter bursts out. “You did not.” I can’t believe this guy. He’s all serious and stern on the outside, but I sense there’s more than meets the eye underneath.
His eyes crinkle at the corners, creating little lines that tug on my heart. He’s really kind of adorable, in a sexy, doctor way. I’m not making any sense, even to myself.
“I’m not even ashamed. Not after that little hijinx at the pool where they left me alone with Rex.” He shakes his head. “Did you know that kid has been up at daylight every single day begging to go swimming?”
“Yep.” I twirl a finger around and tap my ear. “I hear him running past my unit on his way to the pool.”
A wrinkle of confusion creases his brows, but a shout in the distance brings both our heads up before I can explain that I’m usually up and already at work before dawn. I mentally called Clay a workaholic, but it seems I might be headed toward the same path. I do get things wrapped up pretty early in the day though.
Most of my afternoons are spent near the water, with the occasional trip out on one of Samantha’s catamarans.
“Let me go.” A young voice wails and Clay and I barely glance at each other before we both take off at a dead run. My heart drums hard in my chest. Sand sprays behind me, peppering the backs of my legs with heat.
Clay surges ahead of me and reaches the path first. It’s too narrow for me to come alongside him, so I’m forced to stay behind.
Annoyance clenches my hands into fists, and I slip to the side and try to look around him. Long arms pump in time with his strides. The man was built for running.
“Moooooooom.” The annoyed boy’s voice slices the air.
Clay rounds a corner in the path and comes to a sliding stop in the shade of the last unit at Rose Resort. The soft fragrance of Marg’s roses linger though it’s well past midday. Ocean winds cause the roses to wave at us, but it’s the sight on the porch one unit down that has my mouth dropping open.
Rex flails up and down in a man’s arms, flopping like a fish. I vaguely recognize him, but I look to Clay before I accuse the man of attempted kidnapping. The story about Mel and Adam has been told at Marg and Steve’s dinner table often enough that I know it by heart. I’d rather not be the one chasing after the guy, but I will.
Clay appears amused instead of concerned, so I relax. “What’s happening?”
Clay glances over his shoulder. “Your guess is as good as mine.”
“But Rex is okay?” I can’t help asking for clarification.
He reaches over and flicks his thumb over my cheek, brushing away grains of sand that scrape my skin. “Dalton is Rex’s stepdad. That’s the guy holding him right now. I’m assuming he’s fine.”
“Rex seems to have a different idea of what fine means,” I say when Rex lets out another bellow.
A woman appears from down the other side of the path, a bottle in one hand and a towel in the other. She points the bottle at Rex. “I told you, young man. No going to the beach without sunscreen. You’re already getting sunburned.”
“Busted.” Clay’s laughter tumbles out and the sound winds around my insides, loosening knots I didn’t even know were there.
I poke his shoulder, where a line of red creeps down past his sleeve. “You should listen to her advice, or I’ll be calling you Doctor Lobster.”
Rex kicks his feet up and down, the motion throwing him against Dalton’s arms. “I don’t wanna wear sunscreen. It’s itchy.”
I snort out a laugh and shake my head at the kid while raising a brow at Clay. “Well? Are you going to do anything?”
He takes a step back and raises his hands. “Nope. Not my circus. Wrangling Rex is worse than herding cats. And I deal with kids on a daily basis.” His eyes do that crinkling thing again.
Eh, excuse me, what now? It takes a second for my brain to catch up to the memory that he’s a pediatric surgeon. I nudge him with my hip. “Yeah, but that’s because all your kids are under anaesthetic when you see them.”
“Hey, not all the time.” His laughter deepens until his shoulders shake. “Okay, most of the time. But I do see them before and after surgeries. And their parents. And let me tell you, there is nothing scarier than a worried parent.”
Something pinches in my chest as I take in the look in Clay’s eyes. He loves his job, that much is obvious from the way he smiles. But it’s more than that. He’s at ease with himself and his career, and when he talks about his job, he lights up.
When was the last time I was that passionate about anything? Since before Danny, that’s for sure. I don’t like that Danny has that much influence over my life even now. I’ve moved on from that phase of my life and I’m still working on putting it fully behind me.
Coming back to Nantucket was part of the moving on process. Seeing my family whole and healthy and learning that Tim and Nathan—my twin cousins—are mending their own pasts, has given me a chance to discover that wounds do heal. They take time, but I’m willing to give myself all the time I need.
Marg keeps pushing for me to get back out there, but what’s the point? I fell in love once and it was a disaster. I’m in no hurry to repeat the process.
Rex and his parents are still fussing in the background, and I drag my thoughts back to the situation. I approach Rex and put on a happy smile. “Hey, Rex.”
He stops long enough to glance at me. His eyes widen and I know then that he remembers me from the day at the pool.
I stop a few feet away and put my hands on my hips. “They forgot to tell you the secret about the sunscreen.”
“Secret?” He flops over to look at Dalton. “What secret?”
I cup my hands around my mouth and look around, making a big show of making sure no one overhears. “The reason the sunscreen is so sticky is because it has super powers.”
His mouth pops open and he wiggles upright. “Can it make me fly?”
Oh boy. I didn’t think this through. Rex is the kind of kid who will take everything to the extreme.
I frown and give my head a slow shake. “No flying. But it makes you run super fast. It might even make you invisible.” I whisper the last bit.
“I want to try it.” He reaches for his mom and grabs for the bottle. “Use lots of it. I want to be invisible.”
The woman mouths “thank you” at me while slathering sunscreen on Rex’s back and shoulders.
Clay gives me an appreciative look. “That was quick thinking.” He leans in close, meeting my eyes. “But I’ll only wear sunscreen if it gives me superpowers too.”
“Oh, it would give you powers all right.” I scoff at him and wave a hand toward the ocean. “It’ll make it so you can stay in the sunlight without turning beet red and getting stuck indoors for the rest of your trip.” I shield my eyes from the sun and turn away from Clay.
His laughter follows me, and I’m tempted to ask him if he needs help with his sunscreen. Wouldn’t that be a sight? Me smearing sunscreen across Clay’s broad shoulders and down his back.
My face flames. I’m glad he can’t see me as I hurry away. Clay Ashley is not good for me. He makes me want things that I gave up after my annulment. I’m supposed to focus on myself, on what I need. And I do not need a handsome man like Clay messing up my carefully planned life of singleness.