Chapter 20
NINE MONTHS LATER . . .
CLAY
I take a steadying breath as I approach the pre-op room, giving myself a moment to mentally transition from concerned uncle to focused surgeon. Rex is waiting for me behind that door, understandably terrified about his upcoming procedure. It”s my job to put him at ease.
With a gentle knock, I push inside and am immediately met with Rex”s apprehensive brown eyes, so reminiscent of his mother”s, who’s sitting quietly beside him. The poor little guy looks impossibly small, swallowed up in the oversized hospital gown.
“Hey there, buddy.” I greet him with an encouraging smile, sliding into the chair beside his bed. Up close, the slight quiver of his lip has my heart clenching. He”s putting on a brave face for a five-year-old about to have surgery. “How”s my favorite nephew doing?”
He manages a tiny half-smile at that, unconsciously clutching his stuffed dinosaur a bit tighter. “A little scared.”
The small voice trips over the obvious understatement and the look of pure vulnerability he levels at me nearly undoes my composure. This fragile boy isn”t just my “adopted” nephew—he represents the huge responsibility I have to every child under my care.
Pam folds her hands in her lap, her fingers fidgeting. This is tough for her too.
Clearing my throat past a lump, I gently ruffle Rex’s sandy blonde hair. “This all seems scary, but you”re being incredibly brave, Rex. I”m proud of you.”
With these words of affirmation, he sits taller in the bed. “You think so?”
“Absolutely.” I pat his hand. “And you know what else makes you super cool? You get to help take care of yourself in a really special way today.”
Rex”s forehead creases. “Huh?”
Leaning in closer, I shift into my best teacher mode and speak with a bright smile. “Well, you know how you have to do all those boring things every day like checking your blood sugar and having shots because of annoying diabetes? Today, we”re putting in this nifty little pump that will do all that work for you. No more pesky shots.”
His eyes widen as he processes the information. “No more owies?”
“That”s right.” I give his hand a playful squeeze. “I’ll put a fancy pump right here . . .” I point to his abdomen, ”which will take care of everything for you. How awesome is that?”
Relief and amazement register across Rex”s features, and it fills me with a profound sense of purpose. Being able to watch apprehension melt into understanding like that—helping ease a child”s suffering in any way—is what makes this job mean everything to me.
“That does sound pretty cool.” Rex manages a tiny grin. He’s adorable.
“It’s so cool.” I laugh, ruffling his hair again. “Plus, you”ll get to pick out some fun stickers to cover up the little bandage when it”s all done. What”s your favorite dinosaur?”
At that, Rex”s whole face lights up as he launches into an animated chat about his latest obsession with pterodactyls and stegosauruses. I engage enthusiastically, drinking in his bright-eyed excitement over something so simple.
We”re immersed in our dinosaur detour that I barely notice the nurse slipping in to start getting Rex prepped for surgery. He”s so at ease trading jokes and facts with me that he doesn”t even flinch at the IV line being inserted.
Pride swells in my chest as Rex handles this daunting situation with courage. He”s just a little kid—he shouldn”t have to be dealing with a scary illness, undergoing an operation . . . and yet he’s braver and stronger than most adults I know.
I”m acutely aware of how privileged I am to play even a small part in improving the quality of life for kids like Rex, giving them the best chance to overcome their struggles. More than a job, it”s a calling—doing everything possible so no child has to suffer needlessly if I have the expertise and skill to help them.
Leaning in, I brush hair away from Rex”s forehead and lock eyes with him. ”I”m going to do everything I can to make sure your surgery goes perfectly smooth, and you’ll feel all better in no time at all, okay?”
He nods resolutely, pure innocence shining in his eyes. “Okay, Uncle Clay. I trust you.”
Those four simple words blow through me like a wrecking ball, stealing my breath. The magnitude of his utter reliance on me to take care of something so precious as his life . . . it”s both terrifying and the greatest honor I could ever receive.
I hold back tears. I need to keep it together for Pam and Rex’s sake. I pull Rex into one final hug, stroking his hair. “I love you, little man. You relax and let me handle the rest—you”ll have those awesome stegosaurus stickers before you know it.”
I wrap my arms around him tightly, struggling to contain the rush of feelings that are almost too much to handle. This is what it means to have a strong bond with family. It makes me long for my own family someday, and more than anything, I want Kat to be the mother of my children. I can only hope that she sees me as a good potential father. After all the time we”ve spent together, I”ve earned her trust. Now, I need to come up with a meaningful way to propose to her.
Maybe Rex can play a part and make it unique. Can I trust him not to mess things up? He’s trusting me with his very own body. His life. He’d love to be a part of doing something special for his new Aunt Kat.
Decision made. Now I just need to work out the logistics.
KAT
I knock quickly on Clay’s office door before twisting the knob and entering. He’s told me I don’t have to knock, and his nurse—the same one I spoke to on the phone—always lets me come through. But today is different.
Today Clay is checking on Rex after his insulin pump placement. I passed Pam and Dalton in the elevator, the two of them headed down to grab lunch while Rex visits with Clay.
Pushing the door open, I peek around it. “Is it safe to come in?”
Rex zooms around the room, his arms out like he’s an airplane. “Vrrrrr.” He bounds over to the nearest chair and leaps into it, then starts jumping up and down. “Hi, Kat. Look what I can do.” He crouches down and spreads his arms wide.
Clay snags him around the waist. “No, sir. We talked about that. No jumping from the chair to the desk.”
“Aw, man.” Rex goes limp in Clay’s arms. The relaxation lasts mere seconds before he stiffens his legs and holds his arms out again. “Spin me, Uncle Clay.”
Clay lets out a sound that is half laugh, half sigh. “For a boy who just got his insulin pump put in, you sure are full of energy.”
“It’s the juice.” Rex kicks his feet, the movement reminding me of when I first met him on Nantucket. He pats his side where the insulin pump is attached. “Mom says the stuff in here will make me feel better. It does.”
Clay lifts his head and meets my eyes. I recognize the look as adorable exasperation. “It will make you feel better, but you are still a growing boy, and it does not make you invincible.”
“Does that mean disappear?” Rex swivels his head around, twisting until Clay lowers him to the chair, where he pops up onto his feet and grabs Clay by the face. “Can you make me invi...visin...” He scrunches his nose. “What you said.”
“We’ll talk about that later.” Clay tugs his tie, loosening it. “Don’t you have something for Kat?”
Rex frowns and squishes Clay’s cheeks until his eyes are tiny slits and his mouth is spread in a weird smile. “It’s in my pocket.”
Clay tries to talk, but Rex rolls his cheeks around the opposite direction until Clay takes Rex’s hands and gently pulls them away. “Remember what we talked about?” he whispers.
Rex nods and grins at me over his shoulder. “Uh-huh.” He whirls around and shoves a hand into his pocket. “Catch me, Kat.”
Before I’m ready, Rex launches off the chair and flies through the air. I catch him and stumble back. “Oof.”
Rex laughs, showing off a gap where he’s lost a baby tooth. “You’re funny too. Here.” He uncurls his fingers and shoves his hand under my nose. “This is for you.”
My eyes go crossed trying to make out the object in his palm.
Behind Rex, Clay smacks a hand to his forehead, his shoulders shaking with laughter.
“Do you like it?” Rex leans back and holds his hand up in front of my eye. “Uncle Clay says it’s very, very, very, special. And I’m supposed to take good care of it. That’s why it was in my pocket with my gummy bears.”
“I see that.” I focus on the glob of mangled colors in all their sticky glory. “Why don’t you let Clay help us for a minute.” I shoot him a desperate look and he takes Rex from me.
I pluck the mess from Rex’s hand and motion over my shoulder. “Let’s wash this off in the sink.” I’ve never been happier that Clay has his own private bathroom in his new office. There’s something firm in the middle of the goop and I stretch it out to get a better look.
My breath catches in my throat and I almost choke on air. “Clay?”
Rex slides from his arms, tugging Clay down by his tie. “You’re ‘posed to get on one knee. That’s what Daddy says.”
“Right.” Clay grimaces. “Maybe we wash it off first.”
“Can I still eat the gummy bears?” Rex asks.
“No.” Clay and I answer at the same time, and Rex scuffs his shoes over the carpet.
“Fine.” His lower lip pooches out.
I hold out my hand to him. “Come help me clean this up. Then we’ll find you some new gummy bears.” Unless...I give him a look that I picked up from Pam. “Rex, do you have more gummy bears in your pockets?”
“Uh...” He fists his hands deep in his pockets and walks backward, refusing to look at me or take my hand.
Clay’s laugh startles Rex and he bolts behind Clay’s desk.
“Go.” Clay motions me toward the bathroom. “I’ll take care of the candy monster under my desk.” He closes the distance between us. “I saw this going differently in my head.”
I tip my chin up and kiss his cheek. “It was sweet of you to include Rex. If this is what I think it is. Not smart, maybe, but sweet.”
I make my way into the bathroom and wash the gummy bears off a silver engagement ring. A single, square stone sits in the center, and I realize it’s almost identical to the first one Clay gave me. We returned that ring some time ago. The negative feelings I felt every time I looked at it soured my appreciation for the ring. This one, however. This one has my heart speeding a hundred miles an hour.
The ring glints brightly even in the low lighting and I turn to make my way back into Clay’s office. Rex is nowhere to be found, and my gaze lands on Clay kneeling in front of the broad windows that offer a panoramic view of downtown. He holds up the empty box, a smirk tugging on his lips. “I love you, Kat. We got off on the wrong foot for a while, but these last months have shown me that there’s no way I can live the rest of my life without you. Will you marry me?”
I slide the ring onto my finger while crossing to him. Like Rex, I grab his tie and pull, this time bringing him to his feet. “I’d like that very much.”
His grin widens until our lips meet. The feel of him and knowing that he’s mine is enough to give me goosebumps. Things will be different this time. We’ve both learned from our mistakes. We took our time getting to know each other, and the future is something I look forward to with anticipation instead of dread.
Knocks pound on the door. “Uncle Clay, can we come in now?” Rex bellows from the other side.
Quiet shushing slips through the cracks, telling me that Pam and Dalton are attempting to wrangle the tiny tornado.
I pull back from Clay and wrap my arms around his waist. “You can come in.”
The door opens and Rex barrels in at full speed. “Did I miss it? Are you getting married?”
I hold out my hand, showing him the ring. “Yes, we’re getting married.”
Dalton leans toward us and lowers his voice to a stage whisper. “Make sure the cake is on a table that absolutely cannot fall over.”
Pam backhands his shoulder, her cheeks pinking. She finally cracks a smile and explains. “Rex almost knocked over Trina and Liam’s cake at their wedding.”
Rex, completely ignoring the adults around him, scrambles into Clay’s chair, plants his feet on the edge of the desk, and pushes himself backward. The chair spins and he laughs. The sound is so innocent and gleeful, so full of life.
That’s what I want for my future. A mix of fun and frivolity to go with the serious moments.