11. Mattie
Getting sick had always irritated me. In med school, it had forced me to miss classes and practical demonstrations, and on the run, it had made me an easy target. But for the first time since I could remember, it had kind of worked out in my favor. Apparently, Kael had a soft spot for defenseless, sick women, which meant that he was slightly less of a dickwad. Even when I teased him or prodded at his stoic, Ghost-y pride, he stayed relatively patient with me. It was endearing.
It had also given me a chance to get to know Tabitha, who I found to be positively delightful. She was the perfect mix of cutthroat and girly. She liked the same reality shows I did, and she was all too happy to camp out with me on the couch and watch them while we went through bags of junk food and made fun of the celebrities’ spray tans. I spent the majority of that second day in Kael’s headquarters with Tabitha, lying on the couch and going through ghastly numbers of tissues.
I also expended a significant amount of energy ignoring how irritatingly attracted to Kael I was. I knew he wasn’t interested in me in a romantic way, but he had literally soothed me to sleep. What kind of girl was built to ignore something like that? It wasn’t just that I found him attractive. He was certainly that. But the minute Kael had flipped from my enemy to my ally, I had realized just how comforting it was to have all that cunning and resourcefulness standing behind me like a metaphorical—and in this case, literal—bodyguard. I hadn’t had someone on my side, and mostly aware of my situation, since I’d escaped my parents. There had been a few people I’d stupidly trusted in the beginning, but they’d turned me in as soon as they’d realized there might be money in it for them. It hadn’t been a smart move on my part with billionaire parents offering rewards for my return.
Feeling safe with Kael was a shot of adulterated dopamine to a love-deprived, runaway like me. I’d gotten a hit, and now I wasn’t sure I could avoid wanting more. Still, I had to try, because I understood and respected why Kael would want to keep boundaries between us. It wouldn’t do either of us any good if I got all moon-eyed around him.
So, I didn’t. I ignored him, and I joined in teasing him with Tabitha if it came up, but otherwise, I did my best to focus on my own health and the looming fear of what we were planning to do. It was my plan, but I had plenty of reservations about it. There was no telling how my parents would actually react to having me in their prison again, and there was no guarantee Kael would be allowed to stay. But if I had any chance of truly freeing myself, then I had to try.
It was on the third day that Kael and Tabitha got serious about the plan, and I sat at the kitchen island as I listened to them go back and forth about exit strategies. They had the blueprint of my parents’ penthouse pulled up on a laptop, and Tabitha frowned at the screen while Kael cooked a pan of frozen shrimp scampi on the enormous range of their industrial-sized oven. He stirred the sizzling, still-frozen noodles, glancing over his shoulder while Tabitha talked. I cocked my head as I watched him, thinking that really, the only thing Kael was missing was a cute, frilly apron. He looked positively domesticated in his blue graphic tee and worn jeans. Well, except for all the tattoos. And muscles. And the scowl.
“The terrace encompasses three walls, but there is a fire escape here,” Tabitha said, pointing to something on her screen. She was seated on the other side of the island, so I couldn’t see what they were looking at. “But Gunther’s drone surveillance seems to indicate that it’s under a trap door with a padlock.”
“That would slow us down,” Kael admitted. The noodles spat and hissed, and he pulled his arm away when a speck landed on his arm. “But if we’re all the way down to plan Echo, then I’ll be thinking on my feet anyway.”
“Your noodles are distracting you. This is Foxtrot,” Tabitha droned, her eyes still squinting at the screen.
“Either way,” Kael grunted.
She finally turned on her stool to face him. “I realize this is low stakes, but at least have a semblance of a plan.”
Low stakes? I thought indignantly. Pretty sure it doesn’t get any higher stakes than my entire future. Then again, they didn’t know the entirety of it. And I wasn’t about to enlighten them, either. Even if I did trust these two—and I didn’t—I had a feeling they wouldn’t go along with my plan if they knew about the real threat lurking in my parents’ shadows.
“Get Mattie from point A to point B,” Kael said dismissively. He shimmied the pan over the gas burner, and the shrimp and pasta sizzled louder. The aroma of savory, Mediterranean spices and seafood filled the kitchen, and I leaned my cheek against my palm as I watched them. “I know we’re discussing dastardly possibilities, but this is really rather cozy.”
Kael and Tabitha rotated twin looks of quiet surprise to me, like they’d forgotten I was here. Kael hovered his wooden spoon over the pan, pausing. “What about me screams ‘cozy’ to you, exactly?”
I drew a circle in the air around him. “The domestication.”
He looked down, like it might have been painted on his shirt. When he looked up again, his brows were quirked in confusion. “You are the weirdest person.”
I flashed a toothy grin. “Thanks.”
“Speaking of you,” Kael said, glancing down at the food before flicking a thoughtful look my way. “This might be a good time to practice your act.”
I straightened, bringing my cheek off my palm. “What act?”
“Oh boy,” Tabitha muttered. She closed her laptop and looked between us warily. She had her hair in braids still, and they gleamed, glossy black and tight, under the pendant lights that hung above the granite island. “I’ll go get us some… sodas. Or something.”
I watched her with mounting concern, my eyebrows pulling together. “Why are you leaving?” I swung a look to Kael. “What’s going on?”
“I’ll see you two later,” Tabitha said, waving and grabbing a set of keys from a dish on the counter. She gave me a sympathetic look. “Good luck.”
“What does that mean?” I demanded.
Kael moved away from the stove, drawing my attention back to him with a slow, predatory advance. “Eyes on me.”
My heart thumped, and I resisted the urge to actually clutch it. He did that on purpose. Don’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction. But… that was hot. Fuck me. “Or what?”
“Or you’ll fail your own plan before you start.” Kael pulled a red, retractable tip marker from his back pocket and spun it around his finger before holding it up for me to see.
“Ooh, fancy,” I murmured with a mocking smile.
“That,” Kael said with a severe look my way as he reached me, “is exactly what I mean. All that sass is going to give us both away. The minute you look anything but timid when we are with your parents, you will blow our cover to smithereens.”
I sucked my lips in. Oh. Untucking them again, I said, “I will control the spunk. Scout’s honor.”
“Prove it.”
My gaze wavered to the side with uncertainty. “What?”
Kael closed what was left of the distance between us, and not giving one fuck about my personal space, braced his hands against the granite island, bracketing my body on either side. It brought his thigh between my knees and his eucalyptus scent in the air around us. I leaned all the way back, pressing my back into the counter, but Kael followed, bringing his nose an inch from mine. “Show me how submissive you are, Mattie.”
I might as well have been in deep space for all the oxygen I could draw. I stared at him in mute, breathless surprise. “Uh,” I squeezed out.
“Show me how meek you can be,” Kael challenged softly, and his eyes dropped to my lips before returning to my eyes.
If he wanted me dazed and incoherent, then his plan was definitely working. His thigh between my knees was warm and solid, and I suddenly had the image of me sliding over it and wrapping my arms around his neck. Wait, focus. He’s doing a thing right now, Mattie. I couldn’t seem to string together what his words meant. And then I realized he wanted me to fight back so he could make a demonstration. He wanted me to lash out and prove him right.
What a prick.
Defiantly, I held his gaze for a long, silent moment, and then dropped my lashes and looked down at his chest. “Sure.”
His arms flexed. “That was fast.”
I fought a smile. “Were you hoping for a reason to punish me?”
Kael cupped my jaw and tilted my gaze back to his. His eyelids had cinched together, but a glint of humor shone in his glacial eyes. “Very funny.”
I shrugged innocently. “Or were you hoping I’d get on my knees?”
He hesitated like a deer caught in the headlights. But then the flash of whatever had halted his brain functions was gone, and he straightened away from me. “I would prefer you to practice.” Holding up the red marker again, he clicked it, and the red felt tip popped out. “Lesson one, ignoring what annoys you. Every time you make a face, glare, or otherwise seem sarcastic, you’ll get a mark on your wrist.”
I held up my wrist between us, and my eyebrows lifted. “That’s it? That’s your dastardly training method?”
“Trust me,” Kael said darkly, “if you were really my operative, it would not be that lenient. But you’re—” He paused, swallowing, like the words had gotten stuck in his throat. His mouth twitched to the side, and he took a step back. “Well, you’re you.”
“Fascinating,” I said honestly, trying to peer at his expression. What the hell did that mean? “And what, pray tell, are you planning to do to bring out all this venomous sass?”
Kael gave me a knowing look before returning to the stove to stir the noodles. “Nothing I don’t already do.”
“Which is?” I released a quiet breath, but my heart still pattered away in my chest, too fast and obnoxiously loud. Kael being close to me was not good for my mask of indifference.
“Boss you around. Come finish making this.” Kael stood aside after stirring it, taking a seat on the same stool Tabitha had been on. He leaned his forearm on the island and watched me.
“I don’t know how to cook,” I replied blandly.
Kael stared, waiting.
Immediately irritated that he was making me cook—I hated cooking—I tamped down an eye roll and slid off my seat. I crossed the short distance to the pan and picked up the wooden spoon so I could poke at the pink shrimp. What was this meant to accomplish, anyway? He would needle me a few times, I would prove that I do have a poker face, and he’d get dinner in the process? After a few seconds, I peeked over my shoulder at him. Kael’s eyebrows twitched up, and he made a turning motion with his finger.
I scowled before I could stop myself. Kael grinned like an asshole.
“Goddammit,” I groaned as Kael stood up from his seat, came to stand behind me, and took my left wrist between his fingers.
He lifted it high, right to his eyeline, and made a cold, wet mark across my skin. “One.”
“Stupid,” I growled under my breath.
Kael dropped my wrist and went back to his seat. “Go faster. I’m hungry.”
I bit my tongue and nodded, scrubbing at the pan. Some of the noodles were getting stuck to the ceramic coating, and the liquid from the melting frost bubbled in pockets around its surface. I scraped angrily at the sticking noodles. “How long do I cook this for?”
“How should I know? You’re the one making me dinner.”
I nearly shot him another glare, but I resisted. I stirred a little more vigorously than was strictly necessary instead. Kael laughed behind me, and schooling my features into a solemn mask, I turned slowly on my heel to face him. “I believe dinner is almost done.”
Kael’s goading smirk deepened the brackets around his mouth. “Good girl.”
I seized up, my fingers tightening around the spoon handle and my lungs drawing in a slow, calming breath. Through my teeth, I gritted out, “The fuck I am.”
Kael snorted, and standing again he came to stand in front of me. Reaching down, he grasped my wrist, brought it between us, and marked me again. “Two,” he said, his voice wavering a breath away from laughter.
I tried to light his gray-streaked hair on fire with my glare.
“Not as easy as you thought?” Kael asked, clicking the pen and putting it back in his pocket.
Admittedly, my parents were so much worse than Kael. I got a sinking feeling of dread at the thought of keeping my composure through this farce. It settled in my stomach before tightening with a painful lurch. I lifted my eyes to Kael’s in defeat. He must have seen some of my thoughts in my look because he chucked a finger under my chin. “That’s more like it.”
My stare hardened. “You are insufferable.”
Kael grabbed my wrist and marked it again. “Three. You’re incorrigible.”
“Well, what do you suggest?” I asked in exasperation. Behind me, the dish sizzled and spit, probably close to burning after all of two minutes of being in my care.
Kael reached around me and turned off the burner, effectively caging me in again. “I don’t know,” he admitted. He shuffled me to the side, but he didn’t step away or release my right wrist that he had circled in his calloused fingers. After moving the pan off the burner, he leaned his hand on the counter, still so close that I could feel the heat from his body radiating into mine. “If you were really my operative, I’d just make you afraid of me for real. No acting required.”
I should have asked him to move and give me space. I didn’t. “You’d make me afraid?” I queried with more brass than I felt.
Two arctic eyes held mine. “Ideally.”
“And how would you do that?” Dangerous games, Mattie, my smarter inner voice whispered. You’re playing dangerous games.
My features must have belied my skepticism because Kael’s mouth hardened into an angry line. “You’re not going to goad me into showing you, Bunny.”
For a shrewd hitman-bodyguard-bounty hunter, Kael certainly did fall into traps easily. “And why not?” I asked, my voice breathless as I watched the dance of emotions on his face. Incredulous anger, followed by a thoughtful expression that tugged his dark eyebrows together. Say it, I thought with my heart pounding in my ears. Say you like me.
Kael’s left hand coasted up my arm, over my shoulder, and then finally came to rest around my neck. He encircled my throat with alarming ease, and his features fell into a hard mask I had seen before. It was his “working” mask. It was Ghost. The slashing, intimidating armor he wore when he was dead set on a target. I’d been in his crosshairs before. My body was smarter than my brain, and my pulse leaped in fear. Kael squeezed gently. “If you’re not afraid of me, then you’re not paying attention.”
He hadn’t cut off my air, but my body reacted like he might. I brought my hands up to cover his, and my lashes fluttered lightly as I pulled in an unsteady breath. “You could have hurt me lots of times.” My voice scratched through the space between us, barely audible, but I knew he heard every word by the reactions that broke through his mask. “But you didn’t. I’m not afraid of you, Kael.”
His hold on my neck shifted, and then he glared at his fingers as his knuckles skimmed down the side of my neck. “You would be safer if you were.”
“Probably,” I murmured, enraptured with the way he was staring at where my pulse fluttered on the side of my neck. I couldn’t remember the last time anyone had looked at me this way, like they were fully entranced by something so mundane as my heartbeat. Actually, I didn’t think anyone had. Not ever.
But then the spell broke, and Kael looked away, dropping his hand and leaning his body away from mine. I felt the lack of warmth like he’d opened a window on a winter day. “This is not going the way I planned.”
“When do your plans ever go well with me?” I grinned sideways, trying to dispel that charged moment.
“Never,” he admitted grimly. “Literally, never.” Sighing, he stepped away again. “If you can’t even pretend to be timid, then at least look bored. If you’re bored, then maybe you won’t make bratty faces.”
I cocked my head in silent question, spilling my hair over one shoulder. “And what do you suggest I think about to keep from giving you bratty looks?”
He churned a dismissive hand in the air. “Cloud morphology. Maybe thinking about fluffy clouds will make you look less defiant.”
A surprised laugh bubbled from my lips, and I leveraged myself up to sit on the counter. “Please tell me your hobby is cloud-watching.”
Regret crossed his features, like he’d blurted out his darkest secret. “Meteorology is a complicated… interest. Not a hobby.”
“Oh my God,” I repeated, my chest filling with giddy mirth. “You do. You read about clouds and stare at the sky and—wait, do you keep a diary about the cloud patterns?”
Like there was a magnetic pull between us, Kael drifted back to me, his stare pointed. “You’ve stomped all over ‘submissive’ and charged right into ‘insolent shrew,’ now.”
“But if I was submissive, then I’d be boring,” I said with a falsely innocent blink.
He raked his gaze from my face, down to where my cleavage swelled over my tight tank top, and then back up again. I felt every inch of his inspection like a magnified beam of scalding sunlight on my skin. “I don’t know. Submission has its perks.”
I couldn’t help it. A slow, devious smile dimpled my cheeks. “I mean, I guess we could test it out that way. You know. For science.”
“Mattie.” He puffed out a laugh, rolling his eyes.
“I’ll call you sir and wear a cute little collar thing—”
He put his hand firmly over my mouth. “Please, for the love of God, stop.”
I grinned under his hand, crinkling my eyes above his fingers. I winked.
He closed his eyes in defeat. “We are so fucked.”