Love Overboard

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Sofia woke up with a start. She checked her phone: 5.16a.m. She tried to go back to sleep, but it was hopeless. She tiptoed down the ladder and out the door. If she couldn’t be alone in her cabin, she would have to go and find solitude elsewhere.

Up on the deck the expanse of mauve sky was streaked with peach, the water liquid silver. The moment she saw the figure at the bow of the boat, she knew it was Jack. They seemed doomed to play each other’s shadows.

She didn’t want to spook him, but she also wanted to watch the sunrise.

‘Room for one more?’ she called softly. He turned, surprised by the crack in serenity. She was surprised to be met by a smile.

‘Harlow, are you following me?’ His tone was light-hearted.

‘Yes, that tracker I slipped into your pocket is mighty accurate.’ In the soft mist, with the waves lapping in her ears, she couldn’t quite convince herself this wasn’t a dream.

‘We must stop meeting like this.’

‘I was actually looking for some solitude.’

‘Ah, yes well, me too. I was trying to get away from this pain in the ass that I’m having to roomie with.’ She knew he was teasing but after what she had heard yesterday, she thought of the old saying about grains of truth in every joke.

She must have looked visibly dismayed. He quickly added, ‘I’m kidding, Harlow. I come out here every morning, and let me tell you it’s a relief not to have to put up with Stuart’s snoring.’

She rolled her eyes. ‘Poor Stuart, valiantly falling on his sword so you could have a bed, and here you are disparaging his good name!’ Sofia quipped. Humour could be a decent armour as well.

Jack scoffed. ‘You expect me to believe that Stuart did that for me?’

The question hung in the air a moment and then they both said, ‘Petra,’ as if on cue.

‘He should know better.’ Jack shook his head. ‘He saw what happened with me and her last charter. Captain Mary won’t stand for it.’

‘To be honest, Stuart’s not the one who Petra is after on this boat anyway.’ Sofia bit her tongue, immediately feeling guilty for betraying her friend’s confidence.

‘It’s OK, Sofia, I already know about the Brian catastrophe.’ Jack chuckled. ‘It’s crazy really that she would risk her job like that, for some random guy. You only get so many warning shots.’

‘Yeah, I will not be making that mistake again, letting someone come between me and my career. It’s so completely not worth it.’ Sofia was forgetting herself; Jack didn’t want to hear all this.

‘I can’t imagine there will ever be room in my life for another love.’ Jack was looking out at sea, his voice steady but dreamlike. ‘You’re going to say that this sounds corny, but the ocean, she has my heart.’

‘You’re right, that does sound corny.’ Sofia couldn’t help herself. Granted, she had been the one who had pulled the conversation into earnestness, but she could never bear to stay too long. Jack rolled his eyes.

‘No but I get you. I guess for me it’s food, or rather flavour, the kind of buzz I get when I discover some fantastic new combination – there’s nothing like it, puts an orgasm to shame.’ She blushed, remembering in an intrusive flash Jack’s tongue lapping at her, his eyes looking up from between her legs.

‘I don’t know about that.’ He smiled wickedly. ‘Maybe you’re not doing it right?’

She blushed harder, thankful to the low light of dawn for masking her unease.

‘Oh you would say that. Don’t tell me that you’ve ever even looked at a woman with the same longing in your eyes that I’ve seen when you’re racing through the waves on that tender of yours,’ she retorted.

He cracked a grin. ‘So you’ve been watching as well as following huh?’

‘Well what would be the point otherwise?’ Sofia was blagging her way through, hoping that he couldn’t tell she was swimming out of her depth.

There was silence for a moment. Just as Sofia was thinking of something to say, Jack piped up. ‘This time of day always makes me think of my mother.’

Sofia studied his profile, the strong line of his nose, and those eyes of his, suddenly something like amber in the light, and deep with sorrow.

‘Something about the dawn, between the night and the day, I can feel her in the air. She always loved to get up with the sun,’ he continued softly. ‘I guess in that way it’s not really alone time I’m looking for.’ He turned and looked straight at Sofia. A shiver fizzed down her spine. ‘Maybe I’m looking for company.’

There it was, that urge to reach out, to take him in her arms. Then she remembered, she was probably the last person he would want to be comforted by. She stood with her arms clamped to her sides, waiting for the impulse to die down.

‘Well I’ll leave you to it. Three’s a crowd as they say.’ It was a pathetic response really but she needed to get out of there. It was all too intense. He looked back out to the waves. She was finding it hard to understand what role she could play in the theatre of his grief. She felt like whatever she said, she was messing up her lines.

‘I’m sorry.’ She tried to look sympathetic and then worried that she was giving him the look of pity he so hated, but he wasn’t paying attention to her anyway.

‘Thanks. I’ll see you at breakfast,’ he said absent-mindedly, cycling through a well-worn script of his own.

She gave him a limp pat on the shoulder and he smiled weakly. As she walked back to the cabin she wondered if he was in the habit of opening up to people who he found ‘judgemental’. Every conversation she had with him left her feeling more confused about how he felt about her.

The rest of the day went smoothly, or as smoothly as any day on this boat could go. There was only one crisis to be averted, when Milly misplaced her Fendi sunglasses.

‘I need them for a promo post.’ She wailed as Sofia served up an afternoon snack: an elaborate fruit medley, piled high on a tiered crystal stand. Petra was topping up their wine glasses with yet more champagne. They were all on the second deck.

‘They won’t pay me unless I have them on my grid by the end of the day.’ It was directed at Brian, but he seemed engrossed in his book, a crime novel by the looks of the dark grey and black cover, embossed with the silhouette of a gun.

‘Brian, are you even listening?’ She was pouting, a child demanding a parent’s attention.

Brian put down the book with a sigh. ‘I have no idea, baby, maybe Petra will have seen them, when she was clearing out the old room?’ He looked over at Petra who was standing to attention holding the bottle, with a white tea towel draped over her arm.

Sofia knew that Petra had been avoiding talking directly to Brian. After her close call with the captain she didn’t want to give Milly any reason to tell on her again.

She avoided looking at Brian as she said, ‘I’m sorry, I haven’t seen them, but I will go and have a look if you’d like?’ This was directed at Milly.

‘Sure, that’d be great. I doubt you’ll be able to find them though.’ Milly was scowling as she said this. Sofia was glad to retreat alongside Petra as they left the couple on deck. The mood was far from friendly.

‘What is that bitch’s problem?’ Petra fumed as they trotted down the stairs.

‘Easy, tiger, that Fendi endorsement might be our tip. It’s in everyone’s interest that they are located immediately,’ Sofia teased.

Petra grimaced. ‘Somehow I doubt she’ll be leaving me anything. She’ll probably ask the captain to dock my wages at this rate.’

It turned out that Milly’s bad feelings towards Petra could be fixed as quickly and inexplicably as they were prompted. On presenting her with the missing Fendi glasses, which had been ‘hidden’ on the bedside table, Milly beamed and gave Petra a big hug.

‘It was completely bizarre,’ Petra recounted as Sofia prepped for dinner that evening. ‘And then she started asking me about my skin routine! I don’t know what happens to people on reality TV shows, but it must be messing up some kind of brain chemistry right? Being watched and judged all the time must make you paranoid that everyone is out to get you, I reckon.’

Sofia shrugged. ‘Honestly, who knows – as far as I’m concerned everyone on this boat is crazy.’

Petra raised an eyebrow. ‘So how is it going with Captain Jack then?’

Sofia wasn’t sure she was ready to reveal the depths of her inner turmoil. ‘Fine, we barely cross paths really. He comes in after I go to sleep and he’s up before I wake up... well so far anyway. Let’s see.’

Petra wasn’t satisfied by the diplomatic response but she let it go. ‘Mmmhhmm,’ was all she said.

After guests and crew had eaten, and after Captain Mary had excused herself, Stuart passed the whisky around. Sofia needed to unwind so she accepted a glass.

‘You seem to have an endless supply of this stuff,’ Jack noted. Stuart tapped the side of his nose.

‘A sailor never reveals his sources.’ He chuckled.

Just then Jack’s phone rang. He checked the number, excusing himself hurriedly. He looked flustered, like he had that morning after Capri. Sofia found herself desperate to know who was calling. Why was she so curious to know what was going on with him?

After an hour or so she decided it was time for bed. As she walked out she noticed that Petra had slid into the seat closer to Stuart, and Declan and Patricio were also looking cosy. Maybe it was Captain’s Mary’s rule working its magic; people always seemed to want what they knew they couldn’t have.

As she approached the cabin door she could hear Jack’s voice. He sounded anxious.

‘Listen, Danny, it’s OK. Just speak to Dad – I’m sure he can sort it. He knows people. He’ll get you a lawyer or whatever.’ A pause as an inaudible mumble came through the phone. ‘Well yeah, he’ll be mad, but not as mad as if you don’t call him.’

Sofia didn’t want to be caught eavesdropping, as much as she wanted to keep doing it. She knocked lightly on the door.

‘Just a minute,’ Jack called, and then, in a loud whisper: ‘Just call him. Please, Danny, for me.’ Another pause. ‘Yeah, exactly, exactly, love you.’ Jack opened the door gingerly. ‘Sorry about that, it was...’ he seemed to be weighing up whether to tell her the whole truth ‘...it was my brother.’

‘No problem,’ Sofia said brightly, before noticing that Jack was shirtless. She willed her eyes not to wander, but when he turned she settled on the muscles straddling his spine. It wasn’t the first time she’d found herself wondering what they might feel like under her fingers. She needed to get a grip. She followed him into the small cabin as he sat down on the lower bunk, typing on his phone, and running his hands through his hair. It occurred to Sofia that maybe it was an anxious tick, rather than a flirting technique.

She took her pyjamas into the bathroom and changed. When she came out he was still there, typing with his chest bare. Sofia didn’t know where to look. She clambered inelegantly up the ladder and lay staring at the ceiling. Jack sighed loudly.

‘You all good down there?’ she asked tentatively.

‘Honestly?’ He sounded tired.

‘Yeah.’

‘Not really. Danny, my brother, he got done for a DUI, and now he’s in jail for assaulting an officer.’

‘Shit.’ She didn’t know what else to say.

‘He’ll get out – I’m not worried about that. My dad, he knows people or whatever. What I’m worried about is that he’s going to hurt himself, maybe that’s what he...’ Jack stopped abruptly, as if realising he’d said too much.

‘It’s OK. Whatever you might think of me, I’m not going to judge you.’ Sofia hadn’t meant for it to sound accusatory, but her hurt was obvious in the barb of her words.

‘What do you mean? Why would I think that?’

Sofia grimaced. She was just adding to his load. His voice was hoarse and weary.

Something about not having to look at him empowered her to go on. ‘It’s just something Patricio said. You warned him that I was judgemental, that he shouldn’t tell me about you getting him the job.’ She held her breath for his response – another loud sigh.

‘It wasn’t aimed at you, Sofia. Everyone on this boat can be judgemental. It took years for anyone to respect me for the actual work I was doing, instead of assuming that I was some rich layabout who got handed the job because of family connections. He wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.’

Sofia breathed out. Part relieved, part embarrassed for once again assuming the worst; maybe she was the person he hadn’t accused her of being.

After a beat he added, ‘And for the record, I told him not to tell anyone, not you particularly. I’m assuming he couldn’t help but tell Declan though?’

Of course, he hadn’t only told Sofia, he had also told Declan. Those two were becoming thick as thieves.

‘Bingo,’ she said, trying to laugh off the matter.

‘For what it’s worth, I actually find it surprisingly, maybe even worryingly, easy to talk to you, Sofia.’ The hard edge had melted from his tone and she found herself warmed by it.

‘I’m sorry about your brother. It’s nice that you’re there for him.’

‘Not as much as I’d like... I feel bad sometimes, for abandoning him, to live the life I never could, under the thumb of our dad.’ He was speaking so softly, Sofia had to strain to hear him.

‘You can’t blame yourself for going and living your life. He’s an adult. I expect he’s probably proud of you, if a little envious, for finding what you love and going after it.’

There was silence, and Sofia imagined he might be crying. ‘All good down there?’ she tried again.

‘Yeah,’ he said, gruffly. ‘I think I really needed to hear that.’ His voice broke on the last word and Sofia held her tongue. She didn’t want to tip him over the edge.

More silence, and then: ‘You’re a good friend, Sofia.’ It was almost a whisper.

‘Thanks.’ It was her turn for gratitude. ‘I think I really needed to hear that.’

They lay in the quiet, the distant sound of the sea lulling them both into drowsiness.

‘Night, Sofia,’ he said finally, turning off the light.

‘Night,’ she whispered into the darkness.