Love Overboard

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Two

Jack

Jack woke up in the dark, momentarily disorientated by the weight of Sofia’s body at his side. He got out of bed slowly, so as not to disturb her, and closed the bathroom door behind him before he turned on the light. He stared at his reflection, dissociating as he scrutinised his own face. He thought that he looked different. He wondered how he could go about his day as if nothing had happened, how he could face Captain Mary without her seeing his transgression written plain across his face.

He splashed cold water over himself, and ran his hands through his hair, that tick of his that everyone seemed to find so infuriating. He remembered how his father had once slapped his hand away from his head, how it had only made him want to do it more often.

He took a deep breath. He would wake Sofia up and they would have to talk about what to do next, before the rest of the boat woke up. When he turned on the light, she was gone, the sheets crumpled into a pile. Maybe she had gone out to the deck, as had become their strange joint ritual, but out in the morning mist, there was no dreamy figure waiting for him by the railings.

The sun was beginning to come up and Jack was growing concerned that she was avoiding him, but also that they were running out of time to get their story straight. He searched the boat, starting in the kitchen. He could see the light was on and was so expecting to see her behind the door that he called, ‘There you are, Harlow,’ before it swung open to reveal the empty room.

The top deck, the large deck, the saloons, nothing. As he came back down the stairs to check the cabin again, he bumped into Captain Mary.

‘Morning, Jack, I see you’re up with the early birds as usual,’ she said, seeming a little distracted.

He felt a flash of panic. He hadn’t expected to have to face Captain Mary before he and Sofia had agreed on how to handle ‘the situation’. He was convinced that Mary would be able to smell the guilt he felt was radiating off of him.

‘Morning, Mary,’ he said a little stiffly.

‘Sofia’s up and about as well. I just bumped into her.’

Jack’s heart began to beat loudly in his chest. He tried to compose himself. ‘Oh really?’ He impressed himself with how nonchalant he sounded.

‘Yes, she seemed a bit agitated.’ Captain Mary paused, taking the time to mull over what to say next. ‘She kept apologising to me – I’m not sure why. She said she was really enjoying her work, but that she kept “messing things up”.’ Captain Mary looked directly at Jack, her grey eyes probing. ‘I know you two have been sharing a room. Is there anything you think I should know about?’ The question hung in the air, heavy with implication, and Jack knew that he had to come clean.

‘We slept together last night.’ Jack hung his head in shame, missing the look of surprise that flashed across Captain Mary’s face.

‘It won’t happen again. It was a mistake, and we both regret it.’ As he said the words, he willed them to be true. Even if he didn’t fully believe them now, he could come to.

Sofia had obviously come to the sensible conclusion, the one he had been too infatuated to come to. As much as there might be something between them, the job was what they were here for, and what was the point in sabotaging that, especially when they were both adamant they wanted to do the full season? Both of them had taken such big risks to choose this life. If they had wanted a happily ever after, the white picket fence, neither of them would even be on the boat.

‘I’m so sorry, Mary, I know there’s no excuse, but I promise that it’s just sex, one stupid night. After we dock today, we’ll be back in separate rooms and I will barely see her.’ Jack spoke with a calm certainty that he did not feel.

‘Well.’ Captain Mary was momentarily lost for words. ‘I wasn’t expecting that.’

Jack’s heart sank. He’d thought she already knew. He had shot himself in the foot, his own guilt exposing him as he had thought it would. He kept his expression placid.

‘I’m going to have to think about all this, Jacky. You’ve already had a warning, and I don’t like the idea of this becoming some sort of pattern.’ Captain Mary frowned at the thought, and Jack could see the disappointment in her face.

‘I’ll need to have a word with Sofia too of course.’ She sighed heavily. ‘It’s a shame, she has such promise.’

‘Please, Mary, it wasn’t her fault. She probably hasn’t even read the small print about crew relations. You gave me and Petra a caution; she deserves one too,’ Jack pleaded.

Captain Mary nodded curtly. ‘You make a good point, Jack, but this is my boat and I will run it at my own discretion. It would do you well to remember that, on this vessel, I am foremost your captain. Please address me as such.’ Her tone had taken on a steely edge.

‘Yes, Captain.’ Jack stood up straight, staring straight ahead, an impervious expression on his face. As she walked away he tried to untangle the chaotic jumble of thoughts in his head. Striding back to the cabin in his officer’s uniform, he gave off an air of composure, a swan whose legs were kicking furiously under the surface.