Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Thirty-Nine
It was moules-frites for dinner, a people-pleaser, and also simple to make. Sofia could switch into autopilot and have a think about what she might say to Jack. The problem with trying to predict their conversations was that she never knew which version of him she would be confronted with.
He could be kind, thoughtful and witty, or he could be cold, distant and irritable. The strategy for talking to each Jack would have to be different. Either she would appeal to his human side and try and revive something like the friendship they had before or she could present him with a rational outline of how they could fake good relations for the day.
Everyone thoroughly enjoyed the huge pot of steaming mussels; even Patricio conceded that they were ‘gustoso’. The chatter, however, was stilted. After all there was a fair amount of unresolved conflict festering around the table. Stuart and Petra were still not really talking, Declan was unusually quiet, Patricio and Jack were resolutely trying to ignore Sofia, and the captain was clearly feeling uncomfortable about having changed the travel schedule so last minute.
Petra and Patricio cleared the plates, and Sofia took the opportunity to go over to Jack, her heart beating in her chest.
‘Jack,’ she started timidly. He was standing with his back to her, talking to Declan. ‘Jack,’ she tried a little louder. He spun around, looking as though he had been ambushed. ‘Can I have a word?’
‘Sure,’ he said, looking uneasy. ‘Can you give me a second, Dec?’
‘I’ll leave you two to it.’ Declan seemed eager to extricate himself from whatever was about to happen. He followed the captain out of the room. Now they were alone, Sofia felt her resolve falter. All of a sudden she was lost for words.
Jack waited for her to speak and when she didn’t he began tentatively, ‘I’m guessing you want to talk about the other night?’
Her cheeks flushed hot. She realised too late that she hadn’t prepared for that conversation. She thought they had made an unspoken pact to just move on. She was wanting to discuss fall-out strategies, not analyse the disaster itself.
‘Not really, I just wanted to clear the air, before tomorrow, if we’re going to be together all day.’ She stumbled over her words, trying to read his expression. ‘Well you know not together, well with Brian and Milly and...’ Finally he came to her rescue as she flailed from one unfinished sentence to the next.
‘Yes of course, that makes sense,’ he said calmly. A silence hung between them, heavy with unutterable thoughts.
‘I know it’s all a bit messed up, but I spoke to the captain this morning and I think we should try being... friends?’ Sofia lost her nerve and the last word came out like a question.
She studied his face, and thought that she saw a shadow of the tenderness from that night, then the shutters came down once more.
‘Friends.’ He spoke as if testing how the word sounded out loud. ‘That works for me, Harlow.’ A smile, but a cool one. Sofia felt a fool for building up in her head what was turning out to be a pretty undramatic exchange.
‘I really love this job—’ She had an urge to explain herself, but Jack cut her off.
‘So do I,’ he interrupted. He obviously wanted to end this conversation, and who was Sofia to be the one to drag it out unnecessarily?
‘So we understand each other?’ She found herself holding out her hand, as if to seal the deal.
‘Perfectly.’ He shook hers firmly and Sofia decided to ignore the fizz that travelled up her arm when they touched.
‘Well, I’m going to head to bed then. See you tomorrow.’
He nodded. As she turned to go though, he reached out almost absentmindedly, noticing the plaster on her finger. He caught himself suddenly, settling his hand at the back of his head instead.
‘Was there something else?’ Her heart began to beat a little faster as she peered up at him, suddenly shy.
‘No... I...’ He sighed heavily, and Sofia wondered, not for the first time, what was going on inside that head of his. When he finally caught her eye, that vacant look that she so hated was still there. ‘I was just going to remind you not to forget the picnic this time.’ He smiled, but it was unconvincing.
‘Right, yep, got it.’ She felt deflated. She had known it would be trying to be ‘friends’ but she hadn’t prepared herself for the bitter pang of rejection she would have to stomach every time he spoke to her as if they were nothing more than two colleagues having to put up with each other’s company. As she walked away she could feel his eyes following her, but this time he didn’t try and stop her.