27. You CAN Touch This…
Hudson
“You can’t saythings like that,” I tell her, nipping her bottom lip with my teeth. “That’s the type of thing that can make a guy move too fast when he’s trying to take it slow.”
“I don’t want slow. I want now,” she answers, her eyes blazing with lust. She grabs me by the back of my neck and pulls me down, kissing me hard on the mouth, showing me with her tongue what she wants me to do.
I’m more turned on than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I want this every bit as much as she does. Likely more, in fact. But I can’t get caught up in some frenzy, only to have this end all too soon. With some other woman, I’d gladly do it. I’d give in and go for it, but not with her. With Allie, I need to show her how incredible she is, how lovely, how sexy. She needs that from me. She needs to see herself the way I see her—as perfection itself. I need to give that to her more than I need to feel myself buried inside her. More than I need the release that’s been building in me since I first laid eyes on her.
But what she’s doing with her hands—running them over my abs and down to my cock—is making me forget everything I told myself when we got started. Her warm fingers against my skin, the scent of her as I nuzzle her neck, the moans and sighs and the way she’s breathing, are all too much for me to take. I let my hands slide down to her gorgeous ass, then grip her and pick her up. She immediately spreads her legs and wraps them around my waist. “Yes, Hudson, right now.”
Setting her on the counter, I press myself against her, the silk of her skin against my body bringing me closer to the edge. I line myself up against her wet heat, a throbbing need building as she presses herself against me. Her kisses grow more frenzied, her breathing more jagged and filled with need. I watch her beautiful, flushed face as she closes her eyes and licks her lips.
I let out a groan, then manage to say the only thing that’s on my mind. “You’re so fucking sexy.”
“So are you,” she answers, gazing at me while she wiggles her hips in desperation. “You’re the hottest man to ever live.”
Her words come out sounding pouty, almost like a complaint, and I find myself smiling through our kisses.
“Are you laughing at me?” she asks.
“Never. I’m just fully enjoying your enthusiasm.”
She glances down at my cock, then gives me a wry smile. “I can see that.” Kissing me again, she says, “Now I want to feel it too.”
Unable to hold back for another second, I slide inside her with one long thrust, feeling how hot and wet she is. Kissing her hard, I let my tongue mirror what I’m doing inside her with my cock, slowing down so I can feel every movement and take in her every response. She lets out a moan that almost causes me to lose control, but I force myself to hold back, needing to make sure she’s ready. Her muscles tense around me as she grips my back with her hands and she pulls me in closer with her legs that are wrapped around my waist.
I open my eyes and watch her while I thrust into her again and again, each one causing her breasts to bounce a little more, making me wild with lust and longing. A deep need builds inside me—a need for her to know that this is so much more to me than just one night of passion. A need to tell her I think I’m falling for her. I want her, not just for tonight, but forever. But I can’t very well say that. Not with how complicated this is. Not when I’m hiding so much from her. But right now, in this moment, it almost feels like I can tell her the truth about me, and that she would understand. Maybe even accept me anyway. “I…” Love you. “You’re perfect, Allie.”
She starts to say something, but I crush her mouth with mine, not wanting to give her a chance to argue. I lift her off the counter so I’m holding her up, the weight of her body bringing me in deeper as I lift and lower her onto my now-throbbing cock. She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me, fully letting herself go, writhing and wriggling with the euphoria that has been building.
“Yes, Hudson, yes!” she murmurs, her words raspy, her chest heaving. “Just like that. Don’t stop.”
The sound and the sight and the scent of her pushes me over the edge, as I thrust into her again and again, each time with more force, as we build to the climax that got started so many weeks ago. Her muscles tighten around me as she lets go, moaning and panting as she comes. I give in to my own release—something more powerful and intimate and amazing than anything I’ve known.
“Oh yes, Hudson, I can feel you coming!” she pants. “Right there, right there, yes, yes, yes!”
I let out a loud groan, as the most powerful orgasm of my life rips through me. She bites my lip, then kisses me hard while I finish. We stay like this for a long time, kissing and panting and pulsing with satisfaction. Resting my forehead against hers, I try to find the perfect thing to say. Something that will let her know how much she means to me, without making promises I can’t keep. “I have another indisputable fact for you,” I say, panting a little. “You’re an absolute goddess.”
She gives me a sloppy, happy grin. “Oh, you’re good at the sexy talk.”
“You’re good at the sexy everything,” I answer, kissing her again.
“I’m pretty sure you did almost all the work.”
“Trust me. You’re amazing.”
I set her down on the counter, but she doesn’t unwrap her legs, and I don’t even want her to. I want to stay buried inside her forever, just like this. The two of us alone where the outside world can’t touch us. No media, no trolls, no publicists insisting I feed the machine, no deadlines. Just us, here together. We kiss and caress each other, and feel our bodies tangled up together, as close as two people can be for a long time.
Just when I’m starting to think I might be ready to get things going again, the power goes out, and we’re left in complete darkness.
“Well, that’s not good,” she says.
Nuzzling her neck, I murmur, “We don’t need lights for what I have in mind.”
“As much as I love where you’re going with this, without power, we don’t have any heat,” she says, kissing me again. “We’ll need to get a fire going in the fireplace so the pipes won’t freeze, but after that…”
An hour later, we’re snuggled up in front of the fireplace on a pull-out sofa, where we’re going to spend the night. The flames flicker and the sound of wood popping and hissing fills the otherwise silent space. We’re laying on our sides facing each other, and even though we just finished round two, the sight of her like this, laying here in my arms, has me ready to start all over again. I pull the blankets up over Allie’s shoulder to keep her warm and give her a lingering kiss.
“God, I love the snow,” I tell her. What I mean is, God, I love you, but I can’t exactly say that.
“Me too. I can’t believe I’ve gone thirty-five years without knowing how wonderful it could be,” she answers, running her fingertips over my forearm. “But it’s so, so wonderful. Dreamy, even.”
Grinning down at her, I say, “Totally dreamy. I hope it never stops snowing.”
She gives me a skeptical look. “You’d get bored if you were trapped alone with me for very long.”
“I wouldn’t. I already know I wouldn’t,” I tell her. “Eventually, we’d both get hungry, but otherwise, I’d be completely happy.”
“You’re supposed to be acting like a jerk, remember?”
“But then I would’ve missed out on all this,” I say, kissing her forehead. “And that would never do.”
“I’d say of the two of us, I got the better end of the deal,” she says, snuggling into me a little more.
“How so?”
“Because you’re … you and I’m just … me.”
Lifting my head off the pillow, I give her a hard look. “You’ve got to stop that.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop discounting yourself. You’re an incredible person, Allie. Seriously. You’re smart and funny and sexy as hell, so stop thinking I could do better, because it’s the other way around,” I say, hoping my words find their way to her heart. “You can do so much better than me.”
“Nobody can do better than you.”
Shaking my head, I say. “Not true. Everything about me is … manufactured. I’m just a guy who’s good at pretending to be something he’s not. I wasn’t born with this body. I built it at the gym.”
“But you built it. You did that work. No one else did.”
“But I never would have, not if I was, say, a plumber or something,” I answer. “It’s all just for show. The whole damn thing.”
She reaches up and touches my cheek. “Now, you’re the one who needs to stop because if you don’t get how amazing you are, there is something seriously wrong with this world.” Rubbing her thumb over my skin, she goes on. “You’re the most kind and charming person I’ve ever met, not to mention thoughtful. I mean, showing up at my house to cook so I could keep working? And keeping me fed and hydrated when you could’ve just sat around studying?” Shaking her head, she says, “And the way you make me feel … it’s like you think I’m special, and if I hung around with you long enough, I might even start to believe it too.”
“I said those things because I meant they’re true, and helping someone out is just being a decent person.”
“But do you know how rare that is? Having someone to support you like you’ve supported me? You’re amazing, Hudson. And not because you can act, or because you have a lot of money. It’s because you’re the way you are in spite of those things.” She sighs, and it feels like she’s seeing into my soul—all my hopes and dreams and insecurities. And it terrifies me.
Needing to push away the thoughts I’m burning to say, I prop myself up on one elbow and kiss her hard, rolling her onto her back. She lets out a moan that tells me she wants to go with me where I want to take her, and soon we’re tangled up in each other again, our bodies moving together like we’ve always done this and always will. I banish all thoughts of tomorrow morning, when all of this is going to come to an end, and, instead, focus on showing her exactly what she means to me. I’m saying how I feel about her without uttering a word, without risking anything. I’m in love with her. I feel powerful and loved when I’m with her. I feel like I could take on the world and win.
But I’m also too much of a coward to tell her the truth that she deserves to hear. And that is possibly what’s most disappointing about this entire thing because I know myself. I’m never going to tell her the whole truth. I’m never going to let her see the real me. And not just because I’m not even sure who he is anymore. It’s because deep down, I know she deserves more than what I have to offer.