36. Guess Who’s Back?
Hudson
If this iswhat it means to love someone, I’m glad I never fell in love until now, because what a huge, giant pain in the ass it is. Feeling this lost, this hopeless, this powerless? It sucks rotten fish balls. But if I can somehow turn this around and wind up with her? Nothing but fresh fish balls from now on. Blech, that was the worst analogy I’ve ever come up with. Oh God, I’m going to have to do so much better than that when I see her.
I’m currently in the back of an Uber on the way to Allie’s house from the airport. I strategically timed it so I’d arrive on Sunday afternoon, when I know she’ll be home.
Unfortunately, this means her entire family—all of whom I’m sure hate my guts by now—will also be there. But so be it, a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. I’m going to march up that sidewalk, knock on that door, and tell her little niece and nephew that I refuse to leave until I see their Zia Allegra. And if they say no, I’m going to bribe them with two crisp hundred-dollar bills.
My phone pings and I pull it out of my pocket, hoping beyond all hope that it’s Allie.
But of course it’s not.
Gershwyn
You there yet?
Me
I’m about five blocks from her house.
Gershwyn
You sure you want to do this? It’s a house full of angry Italians.
Me
I’m positive, so if you don’t have any words of encouragement for me, I suggest we end this conversation now.
Gershwyn
All right. Good luck, you poor bastard.
Me
Thanks. I’m going to need it.
The car pulls up in front of the house and I take a deep breath before I get out, then make the long, lonely walk up to the front door. I picture going inside and seeing her in the kitchen in an apron, and saying, “Okay, if this is where it has to happen, this is where it has to happen,” just like the scene in Jerry Maguire when he gets Renee Zellweger back. But this isn’t a movie. It’s my life, and I’m not here to put on a show or pretend to be someone I’m not. Allie deserves the real me, and that’s exactly who she’s getting.
My heart pounds so hard, I can hear it in my ears, and there’s a voice in my head that’s yelling at me to turn and run, but I won’t. I force my hand to push the doorbell, then wait, my stomach twisting while I listen to the sound of pounding feet rushing toward me. The door swings open, and I see Camilla and Matteo jostling to stand in front of each other. When they look up, their mouths drop in unison.
Camilla raises her eyebrows. “Oh, snap!”
“Hi, Camilla, is your Zia Allegra here?”
“Nope,” she answers. “And even if she was, I would not recommend trying to talk to her.”
“I know she’s upset with me. And she has a very good reason,” I answer. “Now, can I see her please? She’s going to be so much happier after we talk.”
Matteo shakes his head. “She’s furious with you. Like, worse than my mom was when my dad bought a boat.”
“That bad, hey?” I ask, swallowing hard.
“Way worse,” Camilla says. “Like, I’d run from here if I were you.”
“Not running, Camilla,” I tell her. “She means too much to me to run away.”
I hear Allie’s dad in the background. “Who are you kids talking to?”
They both turn and say, “Hudson Finch.”
“Oh, no,” he answers, his voice getting louder as he says, “He better not be here.”
He comes to stand in front of the door wearing a death glare.
I give him a small wave. “I am here.”
Shaking his head, he tsks about twenty times, then points a finger at me. “You screwed up.”
Another voice comes from behind the door. “Who screwed up?”
“Hudson Finch,” he tells them.
Zia Fernanda squeezes her way around the kids. “Oh yeah, you screwed up more than any man in the history of love. And I know a thing or two about this because I work at a salon, so I’ve been hearing about stupid things men do for over forty years.”
“I know. I really did screw up,” I tell her. “And I’m here to fix it.”
“Some things can’t be fixed,” Enzo says.
“I came all this way. I have to try,” I say. “Your daughter is the best person I know. I’m in love with her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”
“Then you shouldn’t have done all the things you did,” he answers.
“Agreed. I messed up royally, but I have a way to fix it. I just need to explain everything to her.”
He gives me a stern look, then says, “She’s not here.”
“Come on, Enzo, of course she’s here. It’s Sunday.”
He shakes his head. “She knew you were coming so she left.”
Fernanda nods. “It’s true. She didn’t want to see you. Not that I blame her.”
“But it’s Sunday.”
Her mom appears next to her aunt. “We gave her a pass today.” She shakes her head at me and sighs. “Oh boy, you really messed the bed, didn’t you?”
Letting my head hang down a little, I say, “Yes. Yes, I messed the bed.”
The kids both burst out laughing, covering their mouths with their hands. Behind them, I hear their idiot dad’s voice. “What’s so funny?”
“Hudson Finch messed his bed!” Camilla yells.
Awesome. A little louder so the whole neighborhood can hear it.
A second later, I’m faced with Allie’s sister and brother-in-law, her nonno, and her grandma, three of whom are tsking and shaking their heads at me, while Vinnie shrugs. “Meh, you dodged a bullet. Trust me.”
“Oh nice, Vinnie,” Lucia snaps. “Real nice.”
“What? She’s weird.”
I glare at him. “She’s perfect.”
Lucia pulls a face like she just saw a tiny kitten. “Aww, that’s so sweet. You must be in love to think that my sister is perfect.” She turns to her mother. “Ma, he came all this way. Tell him where she went.”
Maria shrugs. “I don’t know. She wouldn’t tell me. She was afraid I’d crack under the pressure.” She nods a little, then says, “Which I would have. Look at that sad face. Do you want to come in and eat something?”
I glance at Enzo, who looks like he wants to slice me up with his garlic razor. “Do you think she’ll show up?”
“Not a chance. She packed an overnight bag and said she’d go straight to work from wherever she’s staying tonight.”
Fuck. She’s like the master of avoiding people she wants to avoid. I rub my hand over my mouth, trying to decide what to do. “All right, will you please do me a favor and tell her I was here, and that I really need to talk to her before she leaves for Zurich. It’s important.”
“I’ll pass the message along,” her mom says.
“Thanks,” I tell her. “See you, everyone. Take care.”
I turn and walk down the steps, then stand for a second, feeling completely lost. I pull out my phone and open the Uber app. I’m just about to request a ride, when I hear the front door shut. I turn, my heart in my throat, thinking maybe Allie is there after all, but it’s her dad. He points to his car, which is parked on the driveway. “Come on. I’ll give you a ride to the airport.”
Newp. Bad idea. Very bad idea. “That’s okay, sir. I don’t want to put you out like that.”
“Get in the car. I need to talk to you.”
We drive for a full five minutes before Enzo says anything. Five terrifying minutes, because he might be the worst driver I’ve ever seen. He nearly sideswiped a truck getting onto the freeway, and now he’s going ten under the speed limit in the fast lane. I grip my knees, hoping that we’ll make it to the airport alive while yet another car passes us on the right, honking at us.
“I don’t know what to think,” he says finally. “I was so sure you were pepper, but then you showed up here, which is not something a man who just wants to sprinkle pepper would do.”
“That’s because I’m not pepper.”
“Maybe not. I don’t know what you are then, which is troubling because, as a father, I should know. But you … you’ve got me all confused.”
“How about if I’m just a man who’s in love with your daughter and who screwed up and wants nothing more than to fix it?”
He over-steers and we almost hit a guard rail. I close my eyes, not wanting this to be my last car ride. When I open them again, he’s looking straight ahead, shaking his head. “I don’t know what’s going on. Allegra’s not saying much. Only that you’re taking credit for her discovery, which, if that’s true, is a pretty evil thing to do, Mr. Finch.”
“I’m not taking credit for anything, I swear.”
“Are you going to give a speech at the conference?”
“Yes, but not the one she thinks I’m giving,” I answer. “If I could just explain everything, she’ll understand why I’m doing this, but she won’t give me a chance.”
“Explain it to me. If I think you deserve a second chance, I’ll talk to her.”
I start to talk, telling him everything from the beginning. I tell him about my dyslexia and how hard I’ve worked to hide it my whole life, and how I’ve spent my entire life playing a role until I met her. I tell him about how I kissed her at the opera, but I skip what happened at Black Creek, for obvious reasons. I talk about how intimidated I was to work with her, but how close I felt to her that night at the hospital. I explain how I feel like I have to show up at the conference because I know I can get them international attention and the funding they need. I also tell him what I’m planning to say when I get there, and that I need her to be ready to present Frank, because I’m going to make that happen.
By the time we pull up at the airport, I’ve spilled it all to a man who, worst case scenario, can’t stand me and never will. He listens quietly without saying much. Then we park and he lets out a big sigh. “Okay, I’ll talk to her for you.”
“You will?” I ask, relief washing over me in a perfect wave.
He nods. “Yup. You’re tomato paste.”
“Really?”
“Yes, and I know why I was having a hard time figuring out what you are,” he says, giving me a hard look. “It’s because you didn’t know yourself. You tried to be pepper, but only because you were scared, which is the only reason any man pretends to be pepper. It’s a scary thing to love a woman. I know, because that’s how I felt when I met Maria. I’m still scared, but now it’s because we’re getting old and I know I won’t be able to live without her.” His eyes look glassy for a second, then he clears his throat, and when he talks again, his voice is deeper than it was before. “Anyway, that’s something you’ll have to face in the future. For now, you need to find a way to get Allegra to take you back. I’ll pave the way for you, but I can only do so much. She’s like her mother. She’s got a mind of her own.”
“Which is a good thing, if you ask me,” I say.
“I didn’t ask you,” he answers. “Besides, what you think is good now turns out to be a real pain in the buttocks when you’re married.”
I chuckle a little and Enzo offers me a tiny grin. “All right. I better go home. I might just make it in time to eat. I’ll talk to my daughter for you, but no guarantees.”
“Got it. Thank you, Mr. Cammareri. I appreciate that you’re willing to try.”
He clicks his tongue. “Someday you may not appreciate it that much.”
“No, I’ll appreciate this every day for the rest of my life. I know I will because loving your daughter is the most important thing I’ll ever do.”
His eyes fill with tears and he mutters, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re tomato paste. Poor bastard.”