Love Unfeigned (Timeless Love: Darcy and Lizzy variations)

2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

January 1812 Longbourn Elizabeth

" T he carriage will take you to Gracechurch Street tomorrow," Papa said wearily. “Your mother will not be content until you have left the house.”

Elizabeth patted her father's hand soothingly. "I shall be happy to join Jane," she said. "There is nothing for it, you know. Mama ought to have known I would not be pressured into accepting Mr. Collins."

"Go pack your trunk." He waved her away. "Then come and see me. I shall send you with enough funds to enjoy yourself."

Elizabeth hurried out of the study and upstairs. She looked forward to her time away from Longbourn. Mrs. Bennet had been particularly shrill since Elizabeth had refused her father's cousin's offer of marriage. Mr. Collins was a sycophantic man with little sense. She did not care if he would inherit upon her father's death—she would not be trapped in a marriage with a fool.

"A letter for you, Miss Lizzy." Hill handed her a folded missive.

The paper felt thick and seemed to be of good quality. Turning it over, she felt a little jolt as she noted the direction. Darcy House? she thought in bemusement. "Thank you, Hill." Elizabeth climbed the stairs quickly, cognizant of Hill's stares boring into her back. Once safely in her chambers, she closed and locked the door before breaking the seal on the letter.

Dear Miss Elizabeth,

How the hours apart from you have wracked and tormented me. Never have I loved another as I love you, and I cannot bear to be parted from you any longer. It has now been more than two months since I last beheld your beloved face, and never in all my days have I known such agony. The very thought of your absence fills my heart with a sorrow that seems to grow deeper with every passing moment.

Your fine eyes, those enchanting orbs, haunt me even in my sleep, twinkling with mischief amidst my most vivid dreams. I find myself entranced by the thought of them, and yet I am lost without them before me. How often I long to caress your chocolate curls, to feel their silken texture wound about my fingers, and to bury my face in the sweetness of your presence.

I fear that my own deficiencies, my imperfections, may prove insurmountable, keeping me from your heart forever. But I beseech you, dearest, do not let that be so. For I would gladly endure any hardship, any humiliation, if it meant winning your favor and affections. My soul is bound to you, and I can no longer bear this distance. My heart calls for you with a strength that neither time nor space can diminish.

I remain, in all things, yours most devotedly, Fitzwilliam Darcy

Elizabeth felt hot and cold all at once. Mr. Darcy loves me? she thought incredulously. She hardly knew what to do or what to think. He breached all bounds of propriety by sending her this missive. They were not attached, and a small part of her resented him for presuming so much. If anyone discovered the letter, she would be forced to marry him! And that could not be so. He was insufferable at best.

You do not truly think that, a wicked little voice whispered in her mind. You were offended, your vanity wounded by his intemperate words at the assembly. It was true, and she knew it in her heart. But there was more to the situation. Mr. Darcy had demonstrated his contempt for Elizabeth and all her neighbors in every word and deed. He kept himself aloof and made no effort to be friendly. And it is very likely his fault that Jane is left heartbroken.

A thread of an idea crept into her thoughts. If Mr. Darcy had helped to separate Jane and Mr. Bingley, then could Elizabeth use his affection for her to enable her dearest sister to know happiness? The idea had merit. Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy were very good friends. If Elizabeth were engaged to Mr. Darcy, she could ensure her most deserving sister could have her happiness.

But am I to sacrifice my life for another's? She did not love Mr. Darcy—she had not loved Mr. Collins either. She and Jane had resolved to marry only for the deepest of affection, and the only feelings she could ascribe to the haughty gentleman from the north were dislike and vexation. Except… She read the letter again. Her heart thumped painfully in her chest. Already there was more between her and Mr. Darcy than Mr. Collins could ever boast.

Elizabeth thought back to the assembly. She had admired him immediately. His handsome features were obvious even across the assembly hall. When the party had been introduced to the Bennets, she had hoped he would ask for a dance. Her disappointment when he had not had been brushed off, though the hurt had compounded when he declared her tolerable and not handsome enough to tempt him.

This letter proved he thought a great deal more of her than what he had professed at their first meeting. Should I take the chance? she wondered. Elizabeth could not guarantee Hill would keep the missive private. If Mrs. Bennet were to find out Mr. Darcy had written to her, there would be no end to the harassment until Elizabeth became Mrs. Darcy.

I am for London anyway, she told herself. If anything is to come from this, it is best to happen away from Mama's prying eyes. Elizabeth sat on the edge of her bed for some time, carefully weighing the benefits against the drawbacks of replying to Mr. Darcy's letter. Positive outcomes outweighed the negative. Her good cheer would be a wonderful counter for his more somber manner.

But can you cure him of his disdain? She forced herself to ponder. Yes, she believed she could. Mama always said a man in love could be persuaded to do anything. Mayhap I can even convince him to make amends with Mr. Wickham. Decided, she put off packing her trunk and settled before her writing desk to pen a reply to the letter.