Chapter 38
CHAPTER 38
E lla
Two Weeks Later
Klieg lights sit beneath the marquee of the movie theater in Westwood, still one of the best places for a premiere, as far as I’m concerned. The word Shimmer is exactly that in large lights adorned with flashing sequins.
A red carpet runs down the middle of Broxton Avenue, which is closed to traffic and blocked off by fake ivy-covered walls covered in sparkly lights. Overhead, an arch of champagne-colored balloons bounce against the darkening blue sky. Night can’t come soon enough for me. I need to get through the gamut of photographers and fans and slip into the dark movie theater, where I don’t have to smile and pretend I’m not coming apart on the inside.
When I invited Archer to be my date to this premiere a month ago, I never imagined the weeks that would follow, the ripping out of my heart, the sadness it’s taken all my acting training to hide.
“Ella, who are you wearing?” “Ella, I’m hearing relationship rumors. Can you comment?” “Ella, who are you dating?”
I’ve steeled myself against these questions and politely given a well-trained Mona Lisa smile. “I’ll be happy to talk about the film during the Q and A afterward.”
I pose for a few pictures against the movie backdrop, all glitter and flowers to conjure the rom-com vibe that hasn’t changed since my first starring role. I’ve made this walk from town car to theater entrance down dozens of red carpets in dozens of cities around the world. I barely need to think about what to say now, and I can focus all my attention on not tripping on the carpet.
Same old, same old.
But tonight, everything feels different.
I went back to my lawyer’s office after Archer walked away and told her she needs to lobby hard for me as a perfectly competent adoptive mother. I’m done apologizing for bad judgement calls I made in the past, and I’ve stopped berating myself for them as well.
Everyone does dumb shit when they’re young. It’s unfair for me to be held to a different standard just because of my career. And because I’m a woman.
Archer was right, even if I haven’t heard from him in weeks, and my lawyer has been doing her best to move forward with the adoption. I can do it as a single mother. No one will love a baby more than I will.
I glance up at Nancy, my publicist, who is waiting by the door of the theater to intercept me on the way in. She nods, letting me know I’ve posed for enough photos and can slip in beside her, so she can escort me to a private room. I’ll wait there while the film is screened and enter the theater at the end for the question-and-answer session with the director.
Tonight, it all feels harder than usual. Normally, I like seeing fans who’ve come early to stand outside the velvet ropes and take photos. They wave and shout and I wave back, always grateful that they support me and my career. I’ll never take them for granted. But sometimes, a girl is just worn-out, and tonight I’m finding it hard to hide behind my smile and pretend my heart isn’t broken.
It’s not that I expected to hear from Archer after I left. And I know the last thing he has time for is to surf social media looking for tabloid stories about Callum and me, so he probably hasn’t even seen the photos that seem to be plastered everywhere and our joint statement about how our careers put too much strain on our relationship for it to work out. Evidence for all the world to see that I want more than what we had.
“Excuse me.” The voice is deep, gruff, and sexy as hell.
I whip around to find Archer standing behind me looking like a cover model in a dark suit that hugs his broad shoulders and tapers at his slim waist. Underneath, a crisp white shirt is open at the collar, showing off the tanned skin of his neck that I’d like to lick right here in the middle of the crowd.
He holds a chilled bottle of beer in one hand and a glass of white wine in the other, which he offers to me. “Can I offer you a drink?”
I feel my cheeks pull so hard that my face erupts into a smile, even though I’m still sad about how we ended and mad that he hasn’t reached out at all.
“It’s good to see you,” I whisper, knowing he can barely hear me in the noisy crowd, but somehow he does.
“You too.”
I take the proffered wine and sip from the glass. The cool liquid slides down my throat, and at first, I’m just grateful for something to do because I still don’t know what else to say to him. But something strikes me as very familiar, and I take another sip. “Is this…?”
No. It can’t be.
“Special edition vintage. Buttercup Hill Pebble and Clay. Just bottled this week.”
“Aw, I missed the bottling.”
“There’s always another bottling season. The bigger news is that if you do a little searching, you’ll probably find a business license for a new start-up. It’s going to build an app to tell you exactly when you should drink it. But spoiler alert, today’s the day.”
My smile pulls at my cheeks so hard they hurt. “You did it.”
He looks satisfied with himself. He lighter. He looks free. “I took the first step.”
“Congratulations.” I press my lips together, so proud of him and sad at the same time because I miss him and I love him. And I can’t have him.
“Thank you.”
“So you…came down here to…pour me a glass of wine?” I blink at him, trying to make sense of what he’s doing at my movie premiere.
“Not just that. Can we go somewhere to talk?” He gestures to a private trailer he shouldn’t know about. Nancy is sitting on the couch inside, and I start to explain to him that we can’t use the trailer because it’s serving as Nancy’s office tonight. This whole event is under her oversight, and she needs to work.
But she stands up without a word and nods at Archer before exiting the trailer and disappearing into the party. “How did you…?” I’m still speaking in partial sentences because I’m so confused about what he’s doing here and how he managed to commandeer Nancy’s trailer.
We climb up the stairs of the trailer. Archer goes first, and then he extends a hand to me. I follow him inside and close the door. We sit next to each other on the small couch and put our drinks on a side table. Archer stretches his legs out and his feet touch the wall on the opposite side. “Not a lot of space for a big guy,” I remark.
“Plenty of space for a grumpy grape,” he says, which makes me smile all over again.
“I reached out to your lawyer and submitted a background check. If I’m going to be in your daughter’s life, I don’t want there to be anything that stands in your way when the judge looks at your adoption application.”
I stand there, stunned, digesting what he’s saying. “You want to…be in her life?” I’m almost afraid to ask because he’s been so adamant about not wanting to be a father.
He nods and kneels in front of me. “I want to be in your life. Every damn day. I want to share the parenting journey. With you and only with you. I never thought I’d want to be a father because I was convinced I’d be awful at it. Like my own dad. But maybe it’s time to stop blaming him for everything. I can still make my own choices. And I choose you. I choose us. I want it more than anything because I love you more than anything.”
My heart swells with overwhelming love for this man who’s shown me the difference between going through the motions like I’m playing a role in a film and the way it feels to do it for love. I never want to do things any other way.
“I choose us too. I just never wanted you to feel forced.”
“I don’t. I feel lucky.”
From across the parking lot, I can hear that the crowd noise has died down, which probably means the movie is starting. That gives Archer and me two hours to sit here and figure out where we go from here.
“I need to be sure, Archer. You really want this with me, right? You’re not just trying to be a good guy?”
Still kneeling, he reaches for my hands. “I am trying to be a good guy. The kind of guy you deserve. I’m not doing it because I feel obligated or because I’d still love to ring Callum’s little goddamn neck. I want to be a good guy—the best possible guy—because you are the best possible woman I could imagine being with. And if I’m lucky enough to have you, I want to give you everything—kids, a beautiful life, and all the things a princess deserves. Will you be my forever, Ella Fieldstone?”
My heart leaps into my throat. “Wow, are you…?”
“Asking you to marry me? Yes.”
I start fanning myself because I suddenly feel hot and dizzy. Without a word, Archer scoots over and tilts me so my head rests in his lap because he knows what I need. Like breathing.
From his lap, I look up at the man I want to look at every day for good, and I nod. “Yes. I will be your forever.”
He smiles. “Do we need to make a big media announcement after the movie since you’ll be up there for the Q and A and all that?”
“Do you want me to do that?” I sit up and assess him.
Archer brings both hands to my cheeks and kisses me. It’s not just an ordinary kiss. It’s a movie star kiss. It’s deep and thorough and it makes me dizzy in a whole new way. But I know he’ll catch me if I wobble, so I lean in for all of it.
Tipping his forehead against mine, he shakes his head. “No media. Just us. Let’s enjoy being us for a while.”
“Let’s enjoy it forever.”