Chapter 8
EIGHT
Jake lay awake in bed, temporarily mesmerized by the stark contrast of Kimberly’s black hair against the white pillowcases. They had moved to her bed during the night after both agreeing that the living room floor was comfortable for only so long. He watched the fall and rise of her breasts, partially covered by the sheet, while she slept curled up at his side. He felt a contentment he had never experienced before in his life. It scared the hell out of him because he actually felt a glimmer of hope for a future that he once thought was an impossibility. Carly’s advice from the previous night echoed through his brain as he smoothed a soft curl away from Kimberly’s face. “ She may surprise you ,” he heard over and over again.
Kimberly lay nestled against him, and he raked his fingers through his hair with his hand, pushing the long strands behind his ear. For the past hour, his mind had been a mental war zone of conflicting emotions. Her sister had been right, he conceded. Kimberly had surprised him. She surprised him by the way she had loved him during the night, touching a place in him no other woman ever had. He need only to run his hand along her smooth curves to convince himself that it could work between them, that somehow, some way a union between them was possible. Then, just as quickly, a dark cloud would overshadow his thoughts with haunting excerpts from his past that came back in frightening clarity.
He visibly winced. His ex’s hateful accusations taunted him. Twice during the past hour, he had pressed Kimberly closer into his embrace to reassure himself that the ugly memories from his marriage were only that, memories. Kimberly was different; she was nothing like his ex, and he placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head to remind himself of that. He breathed deeply, while his conscience mocked that he had once thought Brenda was different as well.
Jake pulled the white linen sheet over Kimberly’s back when he felt her stir. What am I going to do? he asked himself when she began to show signs of waking. He couldn’t leave her feeling as if last night had meant nothing more than a casual tumble in the sack, but what he could he say? He couldn’t blurt out the truth and tell her that he was terrified of a relationship with her, terrified of the hurt and degradation he would inevitably feel when she rejected him because he could never truly be the husband she wanted, the husband to give her the children she rightly deserved. Kimberly was a passionate, loving person, as she had proved to him over and over again during the night. She would have enough love for a dozen children and still burst at the seams with more.
“ She may surprise you ,” Carly’s voice taunted his subconscious. Kimberly stretched a long, willowy leg against the side of his calf, and he decided to tell her. Talk to her while you have the chance, his heart willed, as his conscience begged him not to take the risk. A cold shiver rippled along his skin when Kimberly brought her hand to settle on the middle of his chest.
Jake took a large gulp of air. He would tell her now, just as soon as he could think straight enough to concentrate, he determined with a groan. His body responded to the sensations caused by her wandering hand, and coherent thought was no longer an option.
“Mmm, cold Jake?” Kimberly purred and snuggled closer into his warmth. She rubbed her toes against the hard length of his naked leg and purred seductively into his ear. He thought his passion was sated, convinced that his ardor would be content with the numerous times they had made love during the night. He was wrong, growing increasingly aroused by the idea of making love with her again. She moaned against his chest, and he ached to be inside her again, to bring her to a dimension of arousal he hoped she had only dreamed of before last night.
She raised her leg, the apex of her thighs wet against his skin, and she nudged herself closer to him, her bare stomach and breasts pressed softly against the hard planes of his chest and ribcage. Her hair lay blanketed across her shoulders and back. One hand lay tucked underneath her cheek, while her other hand explored his chest.
“Not anymore,” Jake replied. Kimberly’s fingertips traveled a dangerous path over his body, one that caused his heart to pound rapidly in his chest. He leaned over and kissed her forehead while her hand continued to wander downward. Unable to take much more of her fingernails drawing circles along his abdomen, sure he knew their final destination, Jake reached over and grasped her slender hip. With one strong hand, he drew her over him to lay her flush with his own body.
“Good morning.” He captured her lips in a sensuous kiss.
Kimberly slowly opened her eyes, and her pupils dilated to adjust to the bright sunlight streaming through the window. Her creamy thighs straddled his torso, and the tips of her breasts brushed wickedly against his chest. She hungrily returned his kiss while she ran fingers through his hair.
Jake smoothed his hands along her smooth back and caressed the velvety skin along her spine. He growled with an unsatiated need as Kimberly’s lips released his own to place soft, wet kisses along his razor-stubbled jawbone.
“Good morning, yourself,” she finally answered and moved her tongue sensually along the curves of his earlobe. She adjusted her body lower and pressed the wet, moist area at the joining of her thighs against his hard, throbbing arousal. Back and forth, she caressed his pounding manhood, and a hot stream of excitement flowed through his veins.
“Kim.” His hands tightened around her taut buttock muscles, the last of his control slipping away. In one swift motion, he lifted her hips above him, bringing her down on his hard, throbbing erection. Sweat dripped off of his forehead as he lifted his hips, grinding himself deep inside of her.
Kimberly gasped, and sat up straight to allow her body to sit perpendicular to his torso, taking him fully inside of her. She rocked up and down, and as he cupped each of her breasts in his hands, his thumbs caressed her nipples into hard nubs. She screamed as he plunged deeper, and he felt his manhood press against her womb. “Jake,” she cried wildly, as she continued to rock her hips.
Jake shook as he spilled his seed into her, and Kimberly’s own climax followed closely behind. Her body convulsed around him, until she lay limply draped over him. He drew her close against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her forehead, damp with perspiration.
“That was one hell of a good morning kiss.”
“Mmm,” she murmured contentedly in his arms. She wiggled closer into his warmth, the top of her head nestled against the column of his throat, and he took the opportunity to press a lingering kiss to the top of her head. Her deep sigh had been barely audible over the sound of his beating chest pounding in his ears .
“Just think.” He paused and trailed his fingertip along her cheek. “In another half an hour, it will be time for a good afternoon kiss.” He chuckled softly before running his fingers through her long, curly hair spread across both of their naked bodies.
“Mmm.” Almost instantly, every muscle in her body tensed. “What did you say?” She lifted her head to look at him.
“An afternoon kiss, Kim. It’s eleven-thirty. We slept the morning away.” He laughed at the sudden widening of her dark, sultry eyes.
“Slept the morning away!” She pulled her long limbs from around him and scrambled to get off the bed. “George’s birthday party. I forgot that I promised Linda I would take pictures. Yikes. I’m supposed to be there by one o’clock,” she rambled and ran her fingers through her tangled hair.
“Slow down, Kim. You’re not making any sense. George’s party was last night. What are you talking about?” he asked.
“Today’s the kids’ party, you know, balloons, cake. That sort of stuff. The family type of thing. I promised Linda I would take pictures. She particularly wants me to try to get a family shot of George and her and the kids. Darn, I’m going to be late,” she muttered.
“Oh.”
“You’ll come with me, won’t you?” She paused at the bedroom door. “I mean, you’re welcome to come. I didn’t mention it before because I thought you would still be in New York.”
Jake, now propped up against several pillows, bent his head back to stare up at the ceiling. He had finally made the decision to risk the possibility of a future for them together, and their discussion was being postponed by a kids’ party. The irony was not lost on him. Postponed only until tonight, he promised himself. He lifted his head up and glanced over at her. He traced the long, winding curves of her naked body with his eyes and felt himself grow hard again.
“What the hell. Since I missed out on a piece of birthday cake last night, I guess I owe it to myself today.” He grinned broadly at her.
“Great.” A grin teased the corner of her lips. “Jake.” She tilted her head at him and tossed back her hair behind her shoulder. “If you think it will get us out of here sooner, you’re welcome to join me in the shower.”
Jake smirked cockily. He needn’t waste any time to consider the best offer he had had in a long time. He nearly stumbled over his own feet, as he raced into the bathroom after her.
“Sweetheart, why don’t you come inside with Auntie Kimberly, and I’ll get you a bandage. Maybe mommy has some of those bandages with Mickey Mouse on them. How’s that? Will that make you feel better?” Kimberly cooed to her three-year-old niece, Maggie, who now sported a scraped knee from trying to keep up with her older brother in a game of tag. Nodding her head, with two curly ponytails positioned high above each ear, the small child wrapped her arms around her aunt’s neck. Kimberly smiled over her niece’s head at Jake.
Jake watched as Kim placed a gentle kiss on Maggie’s forehead before scooping the child into her arms and heading in the direction of the house.
Jake stood at the gas grill with a spatula dangling from his hand. He was alone now, having volunteered to watch over the barbecue, while George put more beer in the cooler. Jake turned over each of the hamburgers and then closed the grill cover just in time to watch Kimberly walk into the house with her niece cuddled in her arms. He felt his stomach muscles tighten at the sight of their two curly, black heads bent close together, appearing very much like mother and daughter.
He raised his hand and raked several strands of his hair away from his forehead. He should have pulled his hair back in this heat. He was irritated and disgusted to admit that he hadn’t because Kimberly told him she liked it down and loose. Maybe he would just cut it all off and get a crewcut for all he cared at the moment. It had taken an afternoon of watching Kimberly with George’s children to realize that he had deluded himself about any possibility of a relationship with her. It would never work, just as it hadn’t worked with his ex-wife.
George’s kids clung to their Aunt Kimberly, particularly the little girl, Maggie, as if she were their own fairy Godmother. Kimberly’s own daughter would look just like her; long black curls would frame a pair of dark, almond-shaped eyes. Her sons would probably have dark hair also, definitely a dominant gene in the Urbane family, having bypassed only Carly. Daughters and sons. Kimberly’s daughters and sons. Children she should have, children he couldn’t give her.
The strong smell of burning meat permeated the air and forced him to return his attention to the burgers he was supposed to be standing guard over. He was glad for the distraction; it helped push aside a wave of hopelessness that washed over him. At least he had come to a decision over the last half an hour. He wasn't going to have the discussion he had planned with Kimberly tonight. He had been living in a fantasyland for the past twenty-four hours, and it was time to come back to reality. Any chance they might have together was gone, gone with the soft tenderness she displayed when she ran a soothing hand over her niece’s cheek or pressed a tender kiss to her forehead.
Jake turned the meat over with a deep sigh. Someday he would be grateful that he had spared his already damaged heart from further injury, even though at the moment, his heart hurt as if it were already beyond repair. He glanced at the glass door that Kimberly and her niece had disappeared through, and he shook his head as a deep sadness engulfed him.
“All better, Maggie? Good girl. Now go out there, and show those boys that you’re just as tough as they are.” Kimberly quickly placed a kiss on Maggie’s cheek before the three-year-old raced out the kitchen sliding glass door.
“She’s such a cutie, isn’t she?” Carly commented from behind her.
“Yes, she is.” She stared out the patio door into the backyard and drew a mental picture of her own children. Perhaps two little girls, maybe three, and a couple of boys. The girls would have black hair like her own, while the boys would have Jake’s golden-brown hair. She pictured her sons with hair long enough to brush their shoulders, pushed back from their faces by tiny aviator sunglasses, and laughter bubbled inside of her.
“Kimberly, you made the last pitcher of lemonade, didn’t you? I need to make another batch. Can you help me find the mix?” Carly held an empty pitcher in her hand and waited for her sister’s response.
“Ah, oh, sure.” Kimberly shook herself. She was surprised to find Carly in the room with her, and she knew it was because she had been lost in her daydreaming. A shiver crept through her as she fought to clear the previous images from her mind. Wonderful images, she silently prayed, that foreshadowed her and Jake’s future together. Never had she dared to allow her dreams for the two of them to occupy such a real presence in her mind. The last eighteen hours, most of them spent in Jake’s arms, had changed all of that, and she permitted herself the fantasy .
She was not so na?ve as to believe that Jake’s feelings ran as deep as her own. How could they? She had nearly twenty years of love for him locked away inside of her, some of which she had finally been able to show him when he had taken her into his arms last night, more seeping out of her during the night and then again in the morning. Neither of them had spoken of their feelings to the other, and she suddenly worried over the reason. An uneasiness teased her, despite the recent intimacy they had shared and the contentment she had felt only a few moments ago. An unwanted insecurity developed deep in the pit of her stomach. She needed to find Jake to see the raw passion burn in his eyes for her as it had only hours ago.
Kimberly turned away from the patio door, and with a glance at the interior of the kitchen, she realized she couldn’t remember what she was supposed to be looking for.
“I think Linda keeps more lemonade in the pantry,” Carly said.
“What? Oh, right.” Kimberly nodded and walked over to the pantry. She retrieved the can of powered lemonade and placed it on the countertop before she walked toward the sliding glass door.
“Kimberly?”
“Yeah?”
“I take it you got home all right last night? Jake, he didn’t… well… he didn’t appear to be happy when you two left. I’m sure he gave you an earful in the car?” Kimberly was quick to shake herself out of her deep thoughts when she turned around to face her sister and found her eyes were narrowed in concern with her finely groomed brows slanted downward.
She and Jake’s relationship had reached a turning point last night, and her sister could sense it. Carly had some strange kind of intuitive radar, always had since they were kids. More than a few times throughout the afternoon, Kimberly had caught Carly staring at her, when either she or Jake were stealing glances of one another. And she was the first to admit that she had been unable to hold a sensible conversation with anyone all afternoon. She was far too distracted with thoughts of Jake to focus.
She had intentionally avoided the adults, particularly Carly, by surrounding herself with the children all day. She had avoided each of their questioning glances, especially her sister’s, because she was pretty sure that Carly was onto them. Damn, Carly had figured out that the two of them had done a lot more than sleeping last night, and now Kim would receive a lecture from her because of it.
“No, not really. We didn’t talk much on the way home,” Kimberly answered and quickly turned to leave the room.
“Wait,” Carly chirped in a high pitch tone. Carly wrung her hands together, and Kimberly decided to give into her plea. Carly would hunt her down later anyway. She might as well get the torture over with now. “Kimberly, please, I need to talk to you.”
Kimberly turned back around to look at her sister. “What is it, Carly?” She was eager to find Jake so she could put her uneasiness aside. Playing twenty questions with Carly was definitely not on her agenda.
“I... Kimberly...I, ah, I’m pretty sure there’s something going on between Jake and you,” she rushed on. “And well, I don’t want you to get hurt, Kimberly. I know how you feel about him, how you felt about him since we were kids. Please be careful, I guess is what I’m trying to say.”
“Carly, what exactly are you getting at?” She did not need this right now from her sister, particularly since she was worried about the same thing. She crossed her arms in front of her.
“Kimberly,” Carly stated in a soft voice. “I spoke to Jake last night. He was alone out on the terrace. I think you were dancing with George’s friend at the time. Anyway, I sort of brought up my reservations about a relationship between the two of you and?—"
“You what?” Kimberly blurted, her face flushed with embarrassment. Carly’s prying into her life had definitely gone too far this time.
Carly held out her hands in front of her. “Please, let me explain. I feel responsible for getting the two of you together, and well, I know you were upset last night. And, uh, Jake watched you flutter around the dance floor like he wanted to drag you out of there the first chance he got. I had to do something. I thought, maybe he could talk to someone. I don’t know.”
Carly wrung her hands together again, and she pulled her lower lip between her teeth. She was nervous, but Kimberly didn’t care. Her sister had no right to speak to Jake about the two of them. “Carly, how dare you?—”
“Kimberly, Jake is returning to the Middle East for at least six months,” Carly interrupted. “Do you know what it’s like to be separated for that amount of time? Well, believe me. I do. Damien is gone more than he is at home. Sometimes I wish he would give up the band and find a career that keeps him at home. It’s really hard, Kimberly. I actually dream about having a real marriage and a husband who’s there for me. Then I realize that playing in a band as a bass player was Damien’s dream long before I met him, and I can’t ask him to give it up. I love him too much to ask him to do anything else.”
After a long pause, Carly sighed in a defeated tone. “Forget it. I have no right to be giving you advice, not when my own life is so screwed up. I just want you to be happy.” Carly shrugged before she turned around and placed the glass pitcher in the sink. She turned the faucet to cold and began to fill the pitcher with water.
Kimberly’s anger drained from her. Carly meant no harm, despite the fear her words added to Kim’s own piling list of insecurities. “Hey, Carly,” she whispered from behind her sister. “I know a relationship with Jake won’t be perfect, but you know what?”
“What?”
“I think he’s almost perfect, and I love him. And well, that’s good enough for me.” Kimberly waited until her younger sister returned her smile before she left the room.
Kimberly closed the patio door behind her, while Carly’s words weighed heavily on her mind. She knew Jake was returning to the Middle East. He had told her so himself, but somehow it seemed more real hearing it from someone else. She breathed deeply when she spotted Jake standing by the barbecue. He was everything to her, all she had ever dreamed of and more. Carly was right. She wouldn’t want to be separated from Jake for any length of time and certainly not for six months. She didn’t think she could survive that length of time without him. He was in her blood now, a part of her as vital as any other part.
She brushed a thick strand of hair from off of her shoulder as an idea formulated in her mind. There was only one thing she could do, she decided determinedly. She was going to have to use every feminine wile she possessed to get him to stay home. Even if that meant spending endless hours with him in bed, then she would just have to sacrifice herself. She was grinning from ear to ear by the time her niece intercepted her, begging her to play on the swing set with her. She spied Jake in a conversation with her sister-in-law and smiled softly at him. He winked at her and then returned his attention to Linda. She followed on her niece’s heels in a far better mood than she had been in only minutes ago. Everything was going to be fine, it really was, she decided with a fluttering in her heart.
“Boy, am I beat.” Kimberly flopped down on the Ferrari’s passenger seat and sighed. “I don’t think I took that many pictures for the entire catalog I just finished,” she added with a smile in his direction.
“Yeah, it’s been a long day.” He turned on the ignition and pulled away from the curb.
Kimberly glanced at him from the corner of her eye, unable to understand his sullen mood. Perhaps her family overwhelmed him? Maybe the chaos of all the kids running around overwhelmed him? Her nieces and nephews were a rather rambunctious group when all together. If you weren’t accustomed to being around children, they certainly could be an intimidating bunch.
She tried to recall if Jake had ever mentioned having any relatives outside of his brother and grandfather. There were none that she could remember, which meant that Jake probably had never been around small children. Particularly small children who loved to climb all over their aunts and uncles’ backs or roll around on the ground tickling each other.
She should have realized how overwhelming her family could be to an outsider. It never occurred to her until now. Kimberly took another glimpse of Jake’s profile as they sailed along the freeway, his expression serious and unchanged.
“Jake,” she began cautiously when they were almost home. “I’m sorry if the kids were a bit much today. They seemed to be in rare form this afternoon. I only now realized that you’re probably not used to being around so many children, and I forgot how troublesome they can appear at times. They really are good kids though,” she added with a slight upward tilt of her lips. She absently twirled a long black curl between her forefinger and thumb, as she waited for his reaction.
Jake looked in his rear-view mirror before he changed car lanes in preparation to exit at the ramp to Sunnyvale. He maneuvered the Ferrari off the highway and down the winding ramp, and she continued to wait for his response. He braked slowly for the stoplight at the bottom of the ramp.
“They’re all great kids,” he finally said. Within seconds the light turned green, and he turned left without looking at her.
“Yeah, I think so too.” She was relieved to find that her nieces and nephews were not to blame for his somber mood. Although, that meant something else was to blame, and she worried over what it could be.
“Carly’s daughters are quiet, but I think George’s daughter more than makes up for them,” Jake commented, with the first smile in her direction since getting into the car. Stopped at another traffic light, his hands rested lazily on the steering wheel.
“George’s daughter, Maggie, is a talker. That’s for sure.” A smile quickly formed on her lips. “Sometimes I think Carly and Damien’s girls are still adjusting to being part of the family. Lindsay and Samantha have gone through a lot for being only five and six years old. Carly’s the only mother they’ve really known. Damien’s first wife took off right after Lindsay was born, and they lived with their grandmother because Damien was always on tour. When Carly and Damien married last year, the girls went to live with them. This past year is the first stability they’ve really ever known, even with Damien rarely at home.”
If Jake caught the edge of bitterness in her voice, he didn’t let it show, and she was grateful. She wasn’t in the mood to discuss her sister’s husband. Her focus was on Jake and the possible reasons for his mood change this afternoon.
“Maggie reminds me of you.”
“Well, if she’s anything like me, then she will probably grow up wishing for straight hair. I cringe when I think of my poor mother trying to put a brush through my hair every morning. I pray that if I have daughters, they have poker-straight hair.” She pushed several curls from her face, and when she turned her head to look at him, she found him staring out the windshield again.
“All six of them.” He angled his head toward her, and a lopsided grin played on his lips.
“Six girls! Jake, you’re terrible. I wouldn’t wish six daughters on anyone.”
“Adverse to large families?”
“Not at all. Growing up, I used to tell my parents that I wanted twelve children, six boys, six girls.” She chuckled softly. “And that we planned to live with them, forever. My father would respond by saying that he and my mother were going to move while I was in college and not provide me with their forwarding address.” She laughed again. “I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’ll be lucky to have three children. Let’s face it, Jake, I’m thirty-one years old.”
“Yeah, well, I doubt you’ll have any problems. I’m sure you’ll make a great mother.”
“Thanks.”
She glanced at him, and he turned away, but not before she saw the small tick pulsing at the base of his jaw when they pulled into her driveway minutes later. His emotions had wavered back and forth between sullen and light-hearted for the entire ride home, and she had no idea why. Maybe he was tired? She doubted that was the reason, but desperately wanted to believe it.
They pulled into the garage, and she started to ask him what was wrong when he turned off the engine and practically bolted out of the car. Frustrated, she got out of the car and followed him into the house without a word or a glance exchanged between them.