Loving Lizzy (The Serenity Mountain Series Book 6)

Prologue

Michael Harris picked up his beer and headed toward Chase, the groom, his best friend, and the team. As he approached, Chase smiled and held out his hand. “We need to get together when I come home from my honeymoon. I owe you for watching over Kassie. If I can ever return the favor, my friend.” He held Michael’s gaze, conveying his gratitude.

“You’d do the same for me. Enjoy your time alone. Both of you deserve it.” he replied.

“Thank you for picking up, Lizzy. She said you needed to head back to Seattle. I hope everything’s okay.” The groom cocked his head, confused.

Michael scanned the crowd for his ex-wife, wondering why she had lied. She picked at her dinner and now desired to leave before the dancing even started.

“Oh, yeah. It’s fine. I have a couple of patients to visit at the hospital later,” he fibbed. Another thing he wanted to discuss with her. She didn’t want their friends to know of their former marriage. Chase had supported him while Michael searched for her, and he felt like a heel for not telling him. Leo and the team used him as backup, yet he didn’t feel like part of the group of men. Apart from his best friend, he seemed like an outsider.

The party moved to the dance floor and his gaze landed on his ex-wife. Her head tilted back in laughter at something the small cluster of women discussed. Lizzy surveyed the area until she saw him and immediately averted her eyes. He excused himself as Shadow caught Chase’s attention and slowly worked through the crowd to stand beside the woman he loved. Gently taking her elbow, he leaned down to whisper in her ear.

“I understand you’re ready to leave.” He watched as her expression changed from happy to grim. She made her goodbyes and slightly nodded to him, indicating her choice to vacate the joyous occasion.

He walked next to Lizzy, without attempting to take her by the hand, to the vehicle. Opening the car door for her, he waited while she got situated before shutting it and walking to the other side. The tension crackled in the air between them as he drove to Seattle to her condo.

“The wedding turned out great. Chase and Kassie practically radiated with joy. The team and their family did a wonderful job to make it special,” Michael attempted to break the ice.

“Yeah,” she replied.

“Why did you want to go? I hoped to get a dance,” he asked.

“If you wanted to stay, I could’ve found a ride.” Lizzy continued to gaze out the window.

Frowning, he replied, “I don’t mind taking you home. I’m surprised you lied to our friends about why you wished to leave. While we’re on the topic, I’m not thrilled at keeping our relationship a secret.”

“I don’t want to answer questions about our past. I believe I have a right to my privacy,” her voice held a bit of a bite.

Michael gritted his teeth as his patience started to grow thin. “The last few months have been crazy, and Chase is my best friend. I thought you liked the women.”

“I do,” she told him.

“Then why the secrets? I don’t want to forget Conner. I know Chase and Kassie can relate. They lost a child,” he reminded her softly.

“It’s different,” Lizzy replied curtly. He noticed his line of questioning bothered her as she gripped her purse and she turned her gaze forward, showing her pursed lips.

“How?” he asked. Her behavior and responses to his questions raised red flags. His normally put-together ex-wife seemed erratic in her actions and thoughts, and he struggled to find the reason.

Lizzy’s hand went to her forehead as if she suddenly suffered from a headache. “I don’t want to discuss this right now.”

Michael’s jaw ticked as he pulled into the parking lot of her condo complex. He turned the car off and started to unbuckle his seatbelt.

“You don’t need to escort me up. I’ll be fine.” Her words fell on deaf ears as he opened his door and proceeded to help her out.

She frowned as she accepted his hand. He shut her door and Lizzy let go of his hand to walk briskly up the sidewalk. He followed a few steps behind her.

Michael waited as she used her key to unlock the door. She turned to close it, not allowing him in, when his arm shot out to hold it open.

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on? This entire week, you’ve avoided me or acted distant. Talk to me.” he pleaded.

She slowly took a breath as he strode through the doorway and dumped his keys into his pocket. Scanning the room, he took in the blanket lying askew on the couch, a pillow fell onto the floor, and an empty bottle of lemon-lime soda sitting on the counter. Her bag was carelessly tossed across the kitchen table instead of its designated spot by the front door. The coffee table held a bunch of letters spread out and wadded-up tissues. He ambled farther into the room and discovered the sink full of dirty dishes.

Michael’s gaze focused on his ex-wife as she rushed to grab the paperwork from the table. In her haste, a few sheets of paper floated to the floor. He walked toward her and bent to pick them up.

Seattle Health Women’s Center letterhead caught his attention before Lizzy snatched the papers from his hands. Her eyes darted around the room, and she licked her lips nervously.

“Michael, I don’t think this is working. You should go. I didn’t know how to tell you?—”

“You’ll need to do better than that. What the hell? We’re getting along great. I’ve gone slower than a snail, to keep from spooking you and making you run again. Something’s going on, and you aren’t telling me the truth. You lied to my friend and now to me. I’m entitled to an explanation.” He waited for her to deny it.

Lizzy’s eyes glistened with tears. “Yes. You deserve better. The wedding served as a wake-up call. We missed our chance of a happily ever after. I can’t go back to the Lizzy you once knew.”

Michael took her in his arms. She held herself stiffly. She gripped the papers in her hand. She refused to meet his gaze. “I don’t recall asking you to change. Is this about Conner? Do you resent me for not being there when our son died?” his voice carried a worried tone.

“Do you honestly think I’d hold you responsible for your kidnapping and missing Conner’s birth? I only wish you met him. He was beautiful,” she whispered.

“I know. I love the picture of you holding him and keep it in my wallet. If you don’t blame me, then why? We can’t work through it if I don’t know what it is.” He watched her facial expressions change.

“No. I can’t do this.” She shook her head frantically as she began walking toward the door.

“Damn it, I’m not losing you again,” he growled. His hand shot out and grasped her wrist. The papers in her hand fell to the floor as she tried to escape his touch.

As if his words pained her, she squeezed her eyes tightly. Lizzy clenched her fists and stared rigidly across the room. “I need you to leave. We can’t be together anymore. Find someone who can make you happy.”

He cupped her face with his hands. “You make me happy. It’s you and me, Lizzy Bee,” he whispered.

“I can’t, Michael. All I can do is bring more misery into our lives and you don’t deserve it,” she sobbed.

“Don’t I get a say? Why the secrecy? Did you meet someone when you deserted me? Because honestly, I don’t understand where you were or why you left. You become evasive whenever I ask about anything concerning our time apart. I’ve wracked my brain trying to figure out what you aren’t telling me.” He didn’t attempt to contain the hurt he felt at her disappearance after their son’s death.

Her eyes dropped to the floor, and she closed them as if he reminded her of the pain they experienced.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me anymore and I’ll walk out without another word. But if you care for me even a bit, I want you to tell me the truth. I deserve it. I want it. I went through hell trying to find you after returning home. It crushed me, Lizzy Bee.”

Tears fell from her face, smearing her perfectly made-up persona. Lizzy thrived by planning. Laying out her clothes daily and planning her meals a month in advance, she reminded him of a worker bee swarming with ideas. He took her hand and led her to the couch. After searching the disorganized condo, by Lizzy’s standards, for tissues, he finally brought out a roll of toilet paper. Picking up the papers, and setting them beside him, he placed her on his lap.

“Is it another man?” he asked softly. Afraid if she said yes, he’d lose it, yet he needed to know. His OCD ex-wife seemed off her game, and he wasn’t leaving until he knew the truth. His hand automatically swiped the tear running down her cheek as her eyes remained fixed on the documents.

Lizzy stroked along his jaw as she shook her head. “No, there’s no one else.”

“But you don’t want to see me anymore. What isn’t working?” He held the tissue while she blew her nose. He noticed the paleness of her face and the dark circles under her eyes as they flitted to the items beside him.

Michael’s gaze followed hers and landed on the pages. His eyes skimmed over the words and stopped at “breast cancer.” He swallowed down the lump in his throat as he faced her. “Are you sick?” His heart raced as he watched her startled eyes meet his.

Her silence confirmed his fear.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he murmured.

She rose from his lap and walked across the room. Her hand fiddled with the longer strands of hair on the back of her neck from her pixie cut. “I didn’t plan to tell you. I intend to face this alone. I don’t want you to stay, especially now.” she whispered as if she didn’t want to say the words aloud.

Michael leaped from the couch and stood in front of her. “What did you say?”

She raised her face up to his. “I can’t be with you because I have breast cancer. I know how it destroyed you when your mom battled it and I refuse to let you suffer through it again. I want you to find someone who can give you everything you deserve. We always seem to have to fight fate to remain together. I realize we fought the inevitable.” Her voice sounded determined, but he heard the fear.

Michael shook his head. “What type of man leaves his wife when she has cancer? What kind of man do you think I am? They’ve made new advances in breast cancer treatment and research since my mom passed away. What stage? Who’s your oncologist? How long have you known?”

She stepped back from him. “I’ve given this a lot of thought. I’m not changing my mind. I want you to find someone who can give you children. You’re a pediatrician, don’t tell me you don’t want them.”

“You can harvest your eggs if we need to. We can adopt kids. It doesn’t matter how we get them.” He addressed her excuses.

Lizzy shook her head, determined to make him understand. “We can’t stay together, Michael. We’re not married any longer. We aren’t Kassie and Chase, destined to live happily ever after. I don’t want you to experience this with me.”

Michael’s jaw ticked as he stared her down. She had already started cementing the wall between them. He saw it in her eyes, in how she held herself.

“I’m not leaving you, Lizzy Bee. I know you’re scared. We’ll make an appointment and go over all the options. It may mean only surgery. We’ll get a second opinion. I’m sure Chase has connections, too.” His mind raced to consider the oncologists on staff at Seattle Health and who she might see.

“It isn’t only surgery.” She told him. Her mouth formed into a grim line.

“You already met with the oncologist?” he asked. “Which one?”

She shook her head. “No. I already have a consultation set up. It’s more complicated than that.”

He rubbed her arm gently. “You don’t know yet. Don’t think of the worst-case scenario, there’s different?—”

“I know, Michael.” Her voice came out deadly quiet.

“Of course, you’ve worked in a hospital and I’m sure you have an idea. It always seems worse when you’re the patient. You don’t know?—”

“Yes, I do. I know because I’ve done this before. I found a lump after Conner passed away. I thought I felt a blocked milk duct. When I went in for my six-week follow-up, she ordered a scan,” she admitted. “We already lost him, and I didn’t know if you lived or died. When they told me they succeeded in rescuing you, I refused to make you witness me go through this after losing our child. I’d rather you hate me than watch me die,” she cried.

Michael froze at her words. She fought her first battle with breast cancer alone. Dread ran through him as she appeared resigned to her fate. How long had she known?

He pulled her into his arms as she struggled with the fear and the anxiety bottled up inside. “I’m not leaving you. We’re getting our happily ever after, do you hear me? You can push me away, but I’ll be right outside your door every damn day. We’ll get through this together.” he whispered.

Her fingers gripped his sides as if he provided her with a lifeline. A sob escaped her as she clung to him. His chin rested on the top of her head as he held her tightly, sharing his strength. His mind raced as he formulated a tentative plan. Lizzy wasn’t fighting this alone. His jaw tightened in determination as he picked her up and carried her to her room.

“I’m scared, Michael,” she breathed into his neck. “I don’t want you to live this all over again.”

“Shhh, I know you are. I won’t lie to you and tell you I’m not. A piece of paper says we aren’t married but my heart will always belong to you. I refuse to allow you to push me away. We’ll go over everything in the morning. Tonight, I’m holding you and reminding you how strong we are together.”

Michael slipped the dress over her head and unfastened her bra. He reached for her nightshirt laying neatly folded under her pillow and held it as Lizzy pulled her arms through the holes. Pulling down the covers, he waited while she climbed in. Undressing silently, he slid into the bed and drew her into the protective shield of his embrace. He’d carry faith for them both because he refused to be in a world where he wasn’t spending his life loving Lizzy.