Lucky Boys (Il Fortunato #1)

14. Brooks

CHAPTER 14

brOOKS

I clutched at my chest, desperate for air. The humidity clawed at my skin, sticking to my clothes and making every breath more labored, but it was still better than being inside.

I fell to my knees on the little patch of grass in front of our house, clawing at my shirt and ripping it over my head. It didn’t help. Was this what Diego felt like whenever he tried to leave the house? God, it was awful. No wonder he never left. Until I’d forced him . . . and now his only safe spot had been destroyed.

Tears burned my eyes. My nails dug into my chest and throat. Why couldn’t I fucking breathe?

“Hey, hey, sweetheart, none of that.” The voice was distant, gruff but soothing.

“I’m going to touch you, okay, Brooks? Let me help.”

Why was he asking? Any fucking thing to help.

I didn’t know if I answered or not, but big, callused hands wrapped around my wrists, pulling my fingers away from my skin. He held them tight, refusing to let them go. I should’ve been scared, but it felt right. I sucked in my first wildly needed breath.

“That’s it. Good boy. Take another for me.”

I obeyed, lungs burning. “You’re doing great.” A big thumb traced my jawline. “Open your eyes for me, sweetheart.”

I didn’t want to, but it was impossible not to listen to that voice. Maverick knelt in front of me, just radiating calm and security. If it wasn’t for the anger burning in his eyes and the slight tightness in his jaw, I’d think he was unaffected. But even without knowing him well, I could tell that wasn’t the case. Mav was still holding my arms, but I needed more. I tipped forward until my head was buried in his shoulder.

He let go of me, his hand instead clasping the back of my neck and squeezing. All the frustration that had been building up inside of me reached its end point, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I screamed. I screamed so fucking loudly that if any of these fuckers were still around, they were bound to hear me. Hell, even my neighbors probably did. But I kept screaming until my throat was raw and my mouth was dry.

Maverick was a rock, not saying a word, not moving, just kneeling on the hard ground in front of me, holding me to him. His hand was a solid and reassuring presence, reminding me I wasn’t alone. He hummed some unfamiliar tune softly in my ear. I focused on that. When everything felt like it was spiraling around me, I focused on his slightly out of tune humming. This big, bad virtual stranger was holding me in the dirt and comforting me.

“Good boy, you’re okay.” I blinked, coming out of my haze. How long had we been sitting here? Long enough that I wasn’t panicking anymore. I was just so fucking angry.

“I knew there was a chance they’d be back, that they may even destroy some shit looking for the flash drive. But that was more than that.”

Maverick climbed to his feet finally, and held out his hand for me. I took it without hesitation. I didn’t know why, but I had been drawn to him since day one, and I just knew he’d make things better, or at least try.

“Yeah, it was,” he agreed quietly.

“One of the blankets they shredded? It was a knitted thing, all those open holes, you know? No way for us to hide something in it. Diego’s grandma knitted that for him when he was a baby. It was the only thing he still had from his birth family before they died and he was thrown into foster care. Everything else had been taken from him a long time ago, but he managed to keep it. They didn’t need to destroy it.” My voice broke, and I turned from Maverick. Why hadn’t I thought to take it with us the other day? I’d been so focused on getting D out of there, I’d only packed the essentials. I’d never thought something as inconsequential as a knitted baby blanket would get caught in the crosshairs.

The desire to just run was strong, but where would I go? There was nowhere. I had nothing.

Big, strong arms were on my shoulders, turning me around and holding me in place. Still holding me with one hand, Maverick’s fingers on his other one slid into my hair and grabbed on tight.

The fight left me.

“That’s it. Good boy. We’ll get through this. Through all of it, okay?” There was no way he could promise that, but I found myself nodding anyway. I wanted to believe him, and Maverick was so confident. He had to be sure, didn’t he?

“Good. That’s really good, sweetheart. Will you let me help you now?”

He kept asking when I wished he would just do it. Something deep in the back of my brain reminded me about consent and limit talks and how Maverick and I hadn’t done any of those, which was why he kept asking, but that seemed so unimportant at the moment. I was glad at least one of us was thinking clearly.

“Y-yes. Yes, please.”

Mav didn’t move. He didn’t let go of me either. Just stared right into my eyes until I was squirming under the scrutiny. Finally, he gave me a tight nod. “You need me to stop, you tell me no or red, got it?”

I nodded as much as I could with his fingers holding me in place, already relaxing. I had no idea what Maverick was going to do, but he’d take care of it now. I was sure of that.

“I need words, boy.”

“Got it.” My throat felt raw from all the screaming.

“I wanted to have a conversation with you before taking this step, but I think it might be best if I take over for a while. Am I right?”

God, yes please. All I could think about was having to tell Diego what had happened. How the one and only place he’d truly felt safe had been taken from him because I’d been dumb enough to take a job I’d had no business taking.

“Eyes on me, Brooks.” Immediately, my gaze snapped to his, melting a little in his calm gray eyes.

“Good boy.” Fuck, why was I such a sucker for those words? I liked pain as much as the next masochist, but end that with a good boy and I’d be putty in your hands.

Maverick’s hold in my hair lessened, and I immediately missed the bite, though his fingers massaging the sore spot was pretty nice too.

I waited, desperate for any kind of instruction. “First, is it safe to assume that they didn’t find anything identifying or incriminating?”

I shook my head. I might not have thought of taking personal items, but we weren’t complete noobs. They wouldn’t have found anything. “Yeah, D wiped anything he left here. We have everything else with us.”

Maverick gave me a reassuring smile and then surprised the hell out of me by kissing my forehead. “Good. That’s real good. Though, maybe that’s why they went overboard. They couldn’t find anything, so they got angry.”

It made sense. Still, I didn’t understand how this had happened. We’d been watching the Covingtons and everyone associated with them for days. There had been nothing that even remotely hinting at them being involved. Luca had even been keeping an eye on Marshall Fieldburg’s surviving family, as much as he could around the police and media presence, and there had been nothing suspicious. Not to mention Diego’s security. How was it possible we’d missed this completely? They hadn’t even been quiet about it.

“Okay, is there anything you want to see if we can salvage before we leave?”

I shook my head again. There was no point. “I-I can’t go back in there right now.”

Maverick squeezed me again. “That’s fine. We won’t. What do you need, Brooks?”

It surprised me enough that I looked up into his face. “What do you mean?”

“I can see you coming out of your skin,” he told me softly, “but I don’t know you well enough to act without instruction. So what do you need? Do you want to go back to the estate and see Diego?” I immediately vetoed that. I needed to talk to him. I had to be the one, even though I was sure he’d figured it out by now. But I couldn’t . . . not yet. Not while I was like this.

“Okay. Do you need to fight? If you don’t want to go back yet, there’s a gym that we sometimes train at. We can go there. I can even call Skye to meet us if you’re more comfortable with him.”

A fight might help. There was so much fucking anger and aggression just boiling inside me. But I didn’t want to fight Skye or Maverick. Even knowing they’d be able to handle anything I dished out, I never be able to fully let go. Despite what I did for a living and my love of knives, I wasn’t a violent person usually. Fighting was fun, but not something I took super seriously. I’d always figured I’d be capable of killing if it came down to it, but it would be a last resort, something I’d have to do, not want. My feelings changed when I thought about getting my hands on the fuckers who’d attacked us; them, I would enjoy hurting.

But they weren’t here, and I needed more. I needed something else. A way to just forget everything.

I took a deep breath and stared right into Maverick’s eyes. “I need to hurt.”

His grin was slow and deadly and sent a shiver right down my spine. “I can help you with that.”