Lucky Boys (Il Fortunato #1)

27. Brooks

CHAPTER 27

brOOKS

I sat cross-legged on the super comfortable couch, Skye next to me but with some distance. As he’d said, he was just here for moral support and to help answer questions. Most of the discussion would be between Luca, Mav, and me.

Mav was sitting in the chair directly across from me, playing with his phone while we waited for Luca to come back in. I tried to keep still but it was hard. I was so excited and nervous. That lingering doubt that we were moving too fast, that Luca would walk away again, wasn’t going away. I had to remind myself that he’d been the one who’d asked to do this. He was the one carving out the time to make sure I felt solid. I only hoped that once everything was out in the open, I’d feel more secure about all this.

Luca walked in then, carrying a stack of papers. He grabbed the desk chair and wheeled it over so he was next to Mav and directly across from me.

“Okay, I printed out a few checklists and figured that would be the easiest place to start.” He handed me the first few sheets, a clipboard, and a pen.

“Just go through that. You know the drill. Green for anything that is definite, soft limits or maybes, mark as yellow, and hard limits are red. If you’re not sure what something is or have questions about how it would apply to us before agreeing to it, just circle it, and we’ll discuss it when you’re done.”

I licked my lips. It wasn’t the first checklist I’d done, but they’d mostly been when I’d first joined a kink club or the local community. I’d never had anything long term enough for a Dom to sit down with me like this. “What about the rest of those?” I asked, pointing to the stack still in his hand.

“These will depend a lot on the answers you give there, as well as what we discuss about our dynamic and relationship.” He smiled at me. “One step at a time.”

“Yes, Sir,” I mumbled, forcing myself not to think about the other lists and focus on the one in front of me.

It was pretty standard. It asked about pain play, bondage, toys and tools. Did I want sex, and what did I want as far as sex. I marked green for all sex categories, anal, oral, both giving and receiving, hand jobs, orgasm denial, DP, and cum play. I marked fisting as yellow. I circled sharing and play outside of the dynamic because I had a few questions. Green to all the impact tools, since nothing was too extreme. Yellow to total sensory deprivation. I’d definitely need more of a discussion before that. Green to most of the bondage, but circled being completely bound and some of the more hardcore bondage options. Green to knife play with Mav and Luca only. Humiliation and degradation, I circled. We’d talked about it already, but still it wouldn’t hurt to get my limits down officially. I also circled breath play because I had some stipulations about that. Gags, blindfolds, sex toys including cages and plugs, yes, yes, and more yes. I wrote GREEN in capital letters and underlined it for primal play.

When it was all down, I was smiling. I didn’t have many hard limits because duh. Even if I was afraid of Luca breaking my heart, I trusted him and Maverick with this more than I had anyone in the scene before. I knew they’d listen to safewords, they’d never get mad at me for saying no, and they were both aware that limits changed all the time.

With some of the tension leaving my shoulders, I handed the list to Luca, who looked it over with Maverick. While they were reading, Skye reached out and dragged me into his lap.

“I need some cuddle time. I was lonely over here.”

Skye’s hair was down, so I took the opportunity to run my fingers through it and play with it. “I will never say no to cuddles.”

After a while, they finished and Luca lowered the papers. “It looks like our interests mostly align, though I guess that would be easy because you have a lot of interests.” I shrugged. I wasn’t gonna apologize for that.

“Let’s talk about the things you circled,” Mav added. “We’ll start with humiliation since we already discussed it. Is this essentially the same as what we talked about before? Was the scene we did yesterday okay?”

“Hell yes. That was amazing. Nothing about that made me uncomfortable. Seriously. I just don’t like being put down. Plus, I like a little praise with my degradation.”

“Understood. I just wanted to make sure nothing changed and there isn’t any confusion.”

“I appreciate it. I’ve never negotiated with anyone this thoughtful before. It’s kind of nice.”

Maverick growled a little at that, and Luca leaned forward and cupped my face. “That’s just wrong. Anyone who calls themselves a Dom should be this contentious about your limits.”

His words only washed through me because all I could focus on was his lips. I tried to lean in a little farther, just to get a taste, but Luca pulled back and tapped my cheek.

“Focus, trouble. Let’s get through this.”

I groaned, even if it was just for show.

“Breath play is circled?”

I nodded. “Yeah, like, I’m down for a hand necklace and choking on a cock all day, every day. But I don’t want to be choked out to unconsciousness. And definitely nothing over my face like bags or whatever.”

“Sounds good. Skye likes all kinds of breath play. Will you have an issue if, say, Maverick holds his cock down Skye’s throat until he passes out?”

I shook my head. “No, as long as Skye’s fine with it. I don’t mind watching.”

Maverick grinned, and I swore I felt Skye’s cock a little more where it was pressed against my ass. “Good boy,” Mav said in a deep, sexy voice.

“Now, the bondage. There’s a stipulation about being fully bound?”

I winced. In theory, I trusted them enough to have me completely locked down, but I was afraid I’d panic. Skye tightened his grip on me, understanding where this conversation was going.

“Um, can we make that a soft limit? I trust you all enough to be totally confined, but I’m afraid I might panic. Maybe we can build up to it?”

Luca frowned, and I shifted on Skye’s lap, suddenly grateful he was holding me. “Of course. We don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. And if you want it, I’m happy to work with you and test that limit. But, Brooks, you know I gotta ask. Is there a particular reason you struggle with that?”

I should just say no. I didn’t think Skye would call me out, but this whole thing was built on honesty, right? If I lied right off the bat, that was a shaky foundation. This was already complicated enough that I realized I couldn’t keep this to myself.

“Um . . .”

Luca squeezed my knee. “I’m not going to push you, especially now. But know that none of us will even attempt to play with you like that until you can tell us more about why that’s a limit. I won’t risk accidentally triggering you when I have no idea what the trigger is.”

I shrugged and sucked in a breath. I didn’t know why it was so hard for me to tell Luca and Maverick. I just felt like an idiot for falling into that situation, that I’d needed to be fucking rescued. I didn’t want them to think less of me or limit how hard they played with me because of a bad judgement call.

I looked at Skye. “Can you start and I’ll fill in the blanks?”

“The fuck?” Maverick asked, already pissed, while Luca narrowed his eyes at Skye standing up.

“You know?” Luca’s voice was hard, and I flinched.

Skye straightened up and then adjusted me so I was even closer to him. “Brooks asked me not to tell you. At that point, you had no relationship with him. You weren’t speaking at all and seemed content to keep it like that. I took care of it. I wasn’t going to destroy his trust or go behind his back.”

I shivered. I had never heard Skye talk like that to anyone, let alone Luca. I felt awful that I’d gotten him in the middle of this, but also, it was sexy as fuck, hearing him defend me and his choices like that. I knew Skye was a switch, but seeing the other side of him in person, well, it did something to a guy. Me, I was the guy.

Luca didn’t seem pleased, but he relented and sat back down. “That’s fair. I apologize, Skye.”

Skye shrugged, back to his usual, good-natured self. “It’s all good, Boss.” He tilted my head so I was looking him in the eye. “You sure, sunshine?”

“Yes, please. I just want this over with so we can move on to the good part where y’all tell me you’re my boyfriends.”

That had everyone laughing. “We can say that right now if you want, Brooks. I think we all feel strongly about you and would love for you to be an official part of our little family.” Luca added seriously.

I was grinning from ear to ear despite the turn the conversation was going to take. Especially when both Mav and Skye nodded in agreement.

I suddenly felt less scared to tell them. I was still concerned about their reactions, but I was no longer explaining to potential play partners. I was telling my boyfriends, my partners, and yeah, they deserved to know.

Skye kissed me firmly on the lips and checked in one more time that I wanted him to start. I gave him a little smile and nod, telling him I was ready.

“I was at Boundless Bliss about two years ago and saw Brooks playing with some fucking asshole. The guy had a reputation, so I began to keep an eye on them. I could tell almost immediately that Brooks was acting funny. At first, I thought he was just drunk, and I planned on pulling him aside when his scene was over to make sure he understood never to play like that again, but then I could see that he was struggling in his bondage, like really fucking struggling, and I started to get closer, especially because the fucker kept ignoring it. He hadn’t safeworded at that point, so I was hesitant to get involved, but then he did. It was all slurred and Brooks’s eyes kept rolling in the back of his head, so I knew something was really fucking wrong. Then the fucker punched Brooks right in the kidneys and told him he didn’t deserve a safeword.” Skye squeezed my hips and kissed my neck in comfort. “I handled it from there.”

I could feel the anger in the room, even if I couldn’t bring myself to look at either Luca or Mav yet. I fiddled with my bracelets and shifted in Skye’s lap.

I started to talk before anyone could say anything. “I was completely strapped down. I couldn’t move my arms or legs. And usually, I could get out of just about any bondage, but the guy, he, um, he must’ve drugged my water when I wasn’t looking.”

Maverick fucking snarled, like full on werewolf snarl, and even though rationally I knew it was not directed at me, I quickly added, “I was more careful after that. I only drank from sealed water bottles and I needed to have either my arms or legs free.”

The silence was suffocating, and I opened my mouth to say something, anything, just to break the tension, when Maverick finally spoke, his voice hard like he was barely holding it together.

“You took care of it?” I finally looked up, and it seemed like he was staring into Skye’s soul.

“Yeah, the guy isn’t a problem anymore.”

I knew what that meant. I’d looked the guy up after all that and had found out that he’d all but disappeared without a trace. No one had heard from him again. I’d never asked Skye for the details and he’d never confirmed, but I’d always been aware that Il Fortunato, and Skye in particular, was willing to cross lines I hadn’t before.

“I need details, Skye.” Maverick’s anger hadn’t dissipated at all.

Skye was calm and collected, unlike me who couldn’t decide if I wanted to hide under a blanket fort and watch horror movies all day or get on my knees and beg to suck Maverick’s dick because that overprotective tone did all kinds of things to me.

“Later. Brooks doesn’t need to know.”

Okay . . . but now Brooks kind of wanted to know. It didn’t bother me that Skye had killed the guy. I hadn’t been the first person he’d drugged, and the rest of them hadn’t been as lucky. I’d also learned that he had a sister that he had fucking terrorized and used to support his drug habit. Funnily enough, after he’d disappeared, his sister had came into a decent chunk of money, was able to move out of the city, and last I heard, she was in nursing school.

But also, I didn’t want to harp on this. It had happened and had sucked, but it was over. I’d learned from it, and it wasn’t like I had some kind of long-lasting trauma. I honestly had no idea how I’d respond to full bondage because I hadn’t tried. But I didn’t get nightmares. I wasn’t scared away from BDSM or being a submissive. It was just something that had happened.

Luca and Maverick were going to need more time, clearly, and maybe it was selfish of me, but I didn’t want it to be now. We’d be spending most of our time stalking Damian soon, and I wanted to know what was on those other papers.

“I don’t mean to be an asshole or anything. But really, I’m okay. I don’t want to focus on that. I wanna talk about the future.” I grinned, trying to be playful. “And I wanna know what those other lists are.”

I didn’t think Luca and Maverick were totally on board on with this plan. Mav wasn’t even sitting anymore and was pacing the room, his fists clenched. But they seemed to eventually understand how badly I needed to move on.

Luca sighed deeply. “Yeah, okay. Okay. We’ll move on. I think I’d like to talk more about that later though. Not today.”

I shrugged. I’d kind of expected that. Luca closed his eyes, and I could tell he was trying to compartmentalize. When he opened them, they were clearer and some of that anger was gone.

“Now that we went through the basics, these checklists are a little different. We don’t really need to do them today, but there is something I want to talk to you about.”

“Alright . . .”

“I know you’re submissive, obviously, but we never really talked about what that means to you. Do you only want to explore that dynamic in the bedroom or in strictly defined scenes? If so, that’s fine. I can’t promise I won’t screw it up. The three of us fall easily in and out of the dynamic. There’s not really any discussion about it—we just know. It’s hard for me to turn it off, but I’d try.”

I managed to hold in my laugh. If Luca really thought he could hold in his dominant side at all, he was delusional. Even when he’d been trying when I’d first come to him, he’d been crap at it.

“Thankfully for you, I don’t want that. I like the idea of having the structure and rules outside the bedroom. I don’t know if I necessarily want them 24/7, but I like the idea of naturally falling in and out of it. Though, just a warning, around you two, I’ll be submissive more than I’m not.”

Finally, that seemed to get Maverick to settle, and he turned and stalked to me. “I don’t think that will be a problem, brat.”

“I’d really like to explore a D/s dynamic with you,” Luca went on. “One where I control things in your everyday life and set rules and guidelines that you’d be expected to follow, and if you didn’t, I could punish you. We’d agree on all of that of course. I also feel like you might benefit from a service aspect.”

I will not come in my pants. I will not come in my pants. “What do you mean by service?”

“Well, like everything, we’ll agree on the specifics, but say you laid out my clothes for me and helped me dress or made my coffee every morning. Something like that. I don’t want a slave, and I don’t think you’d want that either. I wouldn’t control every aspect of your life. But maybe I’d tell you what to wear one day or pick out your underwear for you. And like I said, it can be fluid. We can even come up with words, so if one day you really aren’t up for that, you can tell me and we’d have a more vanilla day.”

“I’d like that,” I told him honestly.

Luca grinned. “On a similar note, how do you feel about free use?”

Fuck me. I was deceased. But also hard as fuck. I’d always known Luca was my wet dream come to life. Everything he was saying was exactly what I wanted. Touch and acts of service. He was speaking to me soul.

“You mean you having access to my body anytime you want?” Luca nodded. “I feel very good about it. As long as I’m not working. Also, if Diego’s around, you need to get his permission first. I have a feeling his limits might be shifting based off what we talked about, but still, I won’t do anything in front of him without his consent.”

“Of course. I will respect both of those wishes.”

I looked at Maverick. “What about you, Sir?”

He shrugged. “I don’t really need you to make my coffee or dress me, but the rest of it? I think we’re already falling into that dynamic. Yes to free use. Just understand what you’re getting into by agreeing to that with us, boy.” I shifted in my seat and attempted to discreetly adjust myself. I had no doubt that I was in over my head, but I was really fucking tired of holding back from what I wanted.

“I have my safewords,” was all I told him, which had everyone in the room laughing.

There was one thing I had to make clear before this conversation was finished. I straightened my shoulders and looked both Doms in the eyes. “I really want all of this, and I’m so ready to finally have what I’ve craved for so long, but there is something I need to make sure is clear first.”

“Of course.”

“This dynamic can’t interfere with work. I’ll respect you and listen to you as my bosses, but on a job, you can’t be my Doms and I can’t and won’t follow rules or orders that you are giving me as such.” Luca looked like he was going to speak, but I wasn’t done so I barreled on. “I know y’all already do that with the three of you, so I’m not really worried, but I also know you see me a little differently than you do Skye. Which I love. But I’m good at my job, and I need you to respect that I know what I’m doing and listen to me when it comes to that.”

Luca grabbed my hand. “Thank you for making that clear, Brooks. Absolutely. I trust you implicitly and will absolutely defer to you on your particular skill set. I won’t Dom you when it comes to your job, and I will keep our dynamic separate from that, and I’ll do my best not to be overprotective.”

My shoulders relaxed and I sunk into Skye’s hold. I looked over at Maverick, who tilted his head in acknowledgement. “I also agree, Brooks. Your job is your job. I think we pride ourselves on keeping it separate, and I promise to give you that same respect.”

I wiggled, no longer able to contain my excitement. “Then yes! Do I gotta sign something or what? Because I want this.”

Luca kissed me, and soon Maverick was there as well. I never did sign something, but the four of us all got an extra orgasm in before we went to work.