Lucky Boys (Il Fortunato #1)

47. Luca

CHAPTER 47

LUCA

My ribs hurt like hell, but nothing hurt more than the hesitant look I received from Brooks. It was time to finally remedy this. This shitstorm was far from over, but even though I kept telling myself I’d put my men first, I hadn’t been. There was always something that I used as an excuse, and they all paid the price for it. I would make it up to Skye and Maverick later, but right now, Brooks needed my full attention.

“I missed you too,” he replied quietly.

“Let’s go up to the room to talk?”

Brooks nodded and I was relieved when he willingly took my hand. As we walked up to the bedroom, he updated me on what was going on in the house while I stayed at the hospital with Wes and shared his conversation with Matty.

“Well I can tell you one thing, he’s not going back to the fucking Convington’s.” I growled, “I have a few things in works on that front that will hopefully put them in the position that they couldn’t try to go after him even if they wanted to. They may not have been involved in the murder, or what happened to Matty, but they’re far from innocent. With all the proof I had no of extortion, fraud, and embezzlement, both Michelle and Lewis should go away for a while.”

Brooks leaned into me slightly. “That’s good. I wanted to promise him that he could stay here, but that’s not really my place. I mean, this isn’t even my home. I just forget that sometimes.”

I stopped dead in my tracks, making Brooks stumble. “What—” he didn’t get to finish his sentence because I was pushing him up against the wall, ignoring the tinge in my ribs. My fingers curled into his hair holding him in place.

“What do you mean this isn’t your home?”

Brooks pupils were already blown, and I didn’t need to look down to know he was affected by my actions. But even turned on, he wasn’t backing down. “I don’t live here Luca, remember,” his words filled with venom.

I flinched. Luca. Not sir. “We’re only here because it isn’t safe elsewhere, plus our home was destroyed.” He added, breaking me even more.

I…was reeling. Didn’t he realize he lived here now? That this was his home? Both his and Diego’s. Unless…they didn’t want to.

I released his hair but couldn’t bring myself to step away. “Is that what you want? To live apart from us?”

Brooks lips parted. “What else would we do? We came here because of an emergency, it wasn’t ever supposed to be permanent.”

I finally did back off then as I reanalyzed everything that happened since Brooks walked through the doors. Did I never say I wanted him here? And Diego? I must have. But no? I thought it a million times, and I told him he was my boyfriend, but never once out loud did I ask Brooks or Diego to move here and become part of our team and our family.

“We talked about a D/s dynamic.” I told him faintly, reaching for straws.

Brooks rolled his eyes. Something I would love to punish him for, but I had no idea if I had the right to do so.

“Yeah, but nothing ever came from that. We never set rules or a routine and I never really knew what the expectations were once we were home.” I thought about all the times Brooks asked if we could iron out the details, at least get some basic rules and expectations down, and I pushed him away. Later. It was always fucking later. He had probably been reeling, in a new country, away from his support system, in a new relationship, and I just kept brushing him off. Every time I thought I finally had a grasp on all my failures, more kept hitting me in the fucking face with the speed of an MLB pitcher’s fast ball.

I must’ve looked some sort of way, because Brooks added, “I get we were busy and always in a crisis. I’m not complaining, I just. I just didn’t really know what to expect.”

I scrubbed my face. “Okay, I think we need to start from scratch. Let’s go in the bedroom. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

Brooks trailed behind me but still followed. I closed the door behind us and gestured for him to sit on the bed.

He remained on the edge, back straight, as he fiddled with his bracelets.

I grabbed my desk chair and rolled it so it was directly in front of him and sat down.

“So, clearly I fucked up somewhere. Which, I knew, but I think it was even bigger than I thought. First thing first, as far as me and the other guys are concerned, you and Diego are part of this family now. We all would very much like if you came and lived here permanently. I want you to make your spaces your own and feel like this is your house as much as everyone else’s.” I took a deep breath forcing myself to say the rest of it, “Of course, I understand if either of you or both of you rather move out. I hope you don’t, but I’d get it. Just know this will always be your home, even if you don’t make it your permanent residence.”

Brooks lips twitched but all he said was, “Okay.” Okay? What the fuck did that even mean? I wanted to demand more but stopped myself. Not yet. Besides he probably had to talk to Diego first. It went without saying that wherever one went, so did the other, so wherever Diego felt the most comfortable would be where they ended up. I just had to make sure this was that place.

“Brooks, I fucked this whole thing. A lot.” I may as well just come out and say it, especially if he wasn’t going to give me any feedback.

“Really from when it all started years ago, I kept fucking it up. I promised you I was all in, that I wanted this, then I continued to let you down, to let all my men down. And yeah, the job was crazy, but we were all busy and I was the only one who holed myself up and shut all of you out. I talked this big game about starting a nearly full time D/s dynamic with you and then didn’t do shit with it. Then kept using the excuse that we had work. That wasn’t fair to you at all. I was supposed to be proving to you that I wouldn’t walk away again, and I did the exact opposite. I’m sorry Brooks. I don’t deserve it, but I really hope you give me another chance.”

Brooks was quiet for so fucking long, I thought I was going to explode. He just sat staring at the comforter and fiddling with his bracelets to the point where I wanted to snatch his hands away from each other and force him to stop doing it.

Wait. That’s exactly what I should do. Words were nothing, especially coming from me. He needed to see proof. It wasn’t enough, but it was a start. I circled his wrist with my hand, stilling him.

“What are you doing?” He asked. He didn’t stop me or resist.

“I’m doing what I should’ve done from the beginning. You’re mine, Brooks. I said it before and bungled it. It’s time for me to put my actions where my mouth is.”

I grabbed Brooks other wrist and pinned them to the side. I would love to have pushed him to the bed, to pin his hands above his head, but even this had my ribs aching. Thankfully Brooks really wasn’t fighting back, because he’d probably win.

“So, holding my arms hostage is how you decided to do it?”

“Smart ass.” I grinned, letting my feral side out. “No. You fidget like that when you’re nervous or overstimulated. It’s my job to help with that.”

“Is it? Because you said this before. You can’t keep going back and forth Luca. My heart can’t fucking take it. If you’re claiming me, fucking do it, and this time, don’t let go, because honestly, I think you used up all your chances. This is the last fuck I have to give. Don’t blow it.”

My heart hammered in my chest. You know how people always say their life flashes before their eyes when they die? Well this must be what it felt like, except my life wasn’t in danger, but it may as well have been if Brooks walked away permanently. Every single moment and conversation I ever had with Brooks was on replay. Every mistake I made. Every promise I made I didn’t live up to.

“I’ll do better, trouble. I’m so fucking sorry. I love you so much, and you don’t deserve the way I’ve been treating you. I’ll-I’ll make it up to you.”

Tears filled Brooks eyes. “Please don’t hurt me again, Luca. And please mean it this time.”

God damn, my chest felt life it had been cracked open by a hammer.

“I do, baby. I do. I’m so sorry. I’ll prove it to you. I swear.”

I started to think of every way I could permanently and publicly claim him. Collars, bondage, rules and structure. So many idea, but none of it would mean a damn thing to Brooks until I could finally fucking show him he was my priority.

Brooks wiped his eyes with the back of his hands, a little angrily. “I-I love you too. Don’t make me regret those words, Luc.”

I couldn’t take it anymore, and leaned in, kissing him. It was supposed to be just a peck, but Brooks opened up, letting me in, and then I was cupping the back of his head, pushing in deeper, claiming him. My own tears blended with his as I pulled back from the kiss, only to rest my forehead against his.

I was panting like I ran a fucking marathon. Everything that happened in the last few days, from the first moment where I had to fist fight my way out of a fucking room like I was in a damn Jason Statham movie suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. I was fucking exhausted.

“I won’t Brooks. You won’t regret it. I’ll make sure of it.”

Brooks thumbed my cheek, wiping a tear. “Okay,” he said again.

I pulled back and raised an eyebrow. “What is with all these okay’s?”

He just smiled. “Also, yes to living here. Diego and I talked about it last night. He wants to stay here too. He feels safe here, and there’s so much more room for him than our small house. I think it makes him feel less trapped. We do need to figure out what the fuck to do about our home though and see what we can salvage. And I want to be able to take some jobs outside of Il Fortunato sometimes, once it’s safe, but we want to be here. We want to call this place home.”

Absolutely nothing else mattered in this moment than that.

I sat down next to Brooks on the bed, and opened my arms to him, nearly crying in relief when he leaned into my hold.

I still wasn’t done though. There was one more thing I needed to clear the air about, and I had no idea how he’d take it. “There’s something else.”

Brooks stilled. “What?” His tone was cautious, hesitant.

I took a deep breath. “It’s about your dad.”

He spun my hold, pushing away. “What happened? I just talked to them. Dad was fine. D-did mom call you? Did he have another stroke?”

Shit. I cupped his cheek. “Fuck, no. I’m sorry baby. Your dad is fine. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

His eyes narrowed, unamused. “Then what? You scared the fuck out of me.”

“I know. I didn’t mean to. I just—um, it’s about his medical bills, and that extra therapy his PT recommended.”

“What did you do?” He sounded more resigned than mad. That was a good sign, right?

“I, um. I paid for it. All of it. The debt and upcoming visits. Your parents will likely find out tomorrow when he has an appointment, so I wanted to tell you before then.

Brooks leaned back, creating a little distance between us. He still didn’t look angry, overwhelmed maybe, but it didn’t look like he was going to punch me out or walk away.

“When did you do this? Does anyone else know?”

I shook my head. “No. When I mentioned it to Mav, he told me it was a bad idea and I needed to discuss it with you and Diego first.”

Brooks lips twitched. “So you ignored that very good advice and went behind our backs and paid it anyway.”

Why did he make it sound like a bad thing? I had the money why wouldn’t I do something like this?

“Well, yes. But I wasn’t trying to go behind your back. I just didn’t want to stress you out about anything else.”

“Luca, I get money is no big deal to you, and I really appreciate that you did that. But you can’t just throw that kind of money around without talking to us about it first. That wasn’t your call to make.”

“I know. I’m sorry Brooks. If it makes it easier for you, you can think of it as payment for this job.”

That was not the right answer. “You already paid both of us. The money hit our account this morning.”

Fuck. “A bonus?”

That had Brooks laughing. “Listen, I don’t fucking like that you did that. I know I’m asking for a D/s dynamic with you, but if you ever discussed my limits regarding that with me, you’d know I had many, many financial stipulations. You already are housing me, giving me food and a salary. I can’t have you paying for stuff like that. Especially when the amount you paid us was more than enough to cover the expenses.”

I opened my mouth but he held up a hand to stop me, “However, I can’t sit here and act like I’m not relieved. It was a huge fucking burden and it’s so good not to have to stress about it. It’s done. It’s not like you can get your money back.” Brooks leaned back into me, thank fuck. “I’m giving you a clean slate, Luc. All that shit, including this, that was past Luca. The one who screwed up, not the one who is promising to do better. I’m willing to leave this with the rest of the bull crap and move forward.”

I kissed the side of his head. “Thank you, trouble. I really don’t deserve you.”

He didn’t contradict me, just ran a finger along my arm with a soft expression on his face. “One thing though, you’re telling Diego, and I’m not saving you from him.”

Well, fuck.