Chapter 42
“Why is my IUD special, Raven?”
He runs a hand through his hair as he enters the bedroom.
“That’s what we’re starting with?”
I sit up and scream at him.
“Yes! I want to fucking know. Is it faulty, so I get pregnant? I told you I don’t want a fucking baby. I cannot go through that again.”
Raven comes over and sits on the edge of the bed, staring at me with sadness in his eyes.
“I’m not trying to get you pregnant, Bianca. Do you not see how fucked up I am? The last thing this fucking world needs is another one of me.”
I can’t figure out what other reason would make it special.
“Then what is it?”
He hangs his head, as if he knows I’m going to be furious, and he admits, “It has a tracker in it.”
It takes a moment for me to understand what he’s saying. Can they even do that? That’s possibly the craziest thing I’ve ever heard of. I don’t ask why, because I’m not that stupid. I know why.
“I want it taken out.”
“No,” he says with a glare. “You would be dead, if I hadn’t put a tracker inside you. He would have fucking killed you.”
I back up from him until my back hits the headboard.
“Oh my God. You knew he was alive. Holy shit. He was right. I keep putting myself into worse situations. Every monster is worse than the one before.”
Lifting his gaze to mine, he arches an eyebrow.
“That’s really what you think of me? I know we didn’t start out great, Bianca, but I’m trying here.
I did not know that fucker was alive. If I did, I would’ve killed him earlier.
I’m not a good guy. I’ve told you that. I am a killer, but I only have good intentions with you.
I may be a monster to the rest of the world, but not to you.
The tracker was for two reasons. One, to keep you safe, and two, because I’m fucking terrified of losing you. ”
I fold my arms over my chest.
“I want it taken out.”
Again he refuses.
“No.”
I lie down and turn away from him.
“I hate you, Raven.”
He lays beside me, and wraps his arm around my waist.
“I love you enough for both of us.”
I don’t bother telling him I don’t feel the same, because I already told him I never would. I meant it then, but I mean it more now. It’s time to lock the monsters away, and take my life back.
His breathing becomes heavy against the back of my neck, and I know he’s sleeping.
I move his arm off me and climb out of bed.
I turn back to him every few minutes, to make sure he’s still unconscious.
My heart is racing, as I go into the black bag he took from Dr. Martin, and find what I need.
I’ve known all along the drugs were still in here, but knew Raven wouldn’t use them on me.
They aren’t labeled, so I don’t know if the one in my hand will knock him out completely, or just make it so he can’t move.
He rolls to his back with a grunt, and I watch to make sure he’s still sleeping, before I approach him.
When I’m satisfied he is, I uncap the needle and push it to his neck.
His eyes pop open and his hand grips my wrist, but he’s too late.
When his eyes stay open, I know which drug I used on him.
“I’m sorry, Raven. I have to go. I know you’ll track me, at least until I find a doctor to remove the IUD.
Please let me rebuild my life. There will never be a day when I’m not grateful for you saving my life.
Twice. You deserve better than you’ve been given.
I hope you find it, but I can’t be that person for you. Goodbye, Raven.”
A tear trickles down his cheek, and I turn away from him. For once in my life, I choose me.