Lust (Saints & Sinners #1)

Chapter 1

1

LUKE

I hurry down the field, running toward our team’s goal.

Being a noob who’s only playing a pickup game to get out of my dorm room, I wasn’t expecting any action, but after a quick exchange between two of the guys, the soccer ball rolls straight to me. I know I must step up to the challenge, or my team is gonna give me hell. So I go for it, speeding up, figuring whether or not I can attempt a somewhat respectable pass to my roomie, Alexei. Even if I fuck it up, it will be less humiliating than not trying at all.

Unfortunately, Alexei’s got a decent player from the opposing team covering his ass. Even within this game, I’ve seen enough of his skills to know he’s gonna steal the ball the moment I pass it, so I push on.

In my periphery, I notice Brad Henning coming at me. Another impressive player from what I’ve observed during this game. I’m surprised he doesn’t play for the school team.

I’ve only been here a couple of weeks, so I don’t know too much about the students at St. Lawrence, but I’ve seen Brad around campus. Once I saw him park his motorcycle behind General Classroom, taking off his helmet and running his fingers through his brown hair, almost carelessly, but somehow managing to style it perfectly. He’s friends with Alexei, and apparently some kind of sex god, but at the moment, he’s a pickup-game rival tailing my ass.

Fortunately, nothing’s as incentivizing as being stalked by a six-foot-something guy, so I kick and sprint. Might not know soccer, but track was my thing, so I manage to clear him, but before I can appreciate my victory, there’s a tug on my shirt, and I’m jerked back before there’s a shove against my shoulder. It’s a powerful force, the weight of Brad’s body colliding with mine, knocking me aside.

“It’ll be fun,” Alexei said.

“Everyone’s real chill. We’ll have a good time.”

“You’ll meet some new people. Come on. You can’t stay cooped up in here all semester.”

Maybe my roomie was right to push me out of my comfort zone, but when I hit the ground and roll onto my stomach, receiving a face full of dirt, I’m forced to reconsider whether this was such a great idea after all.

As I recover from the tumble, the other team is already racing to the goal with the ball. I spot a few uneasy looks from my teammates. They all know what Brad did, but none of them know what to do about it.

Alexei approaches. He’s barely said, “Hey, you okay, man?” before I’m up on my feet, heading down the field.

After Brad scores, he spins around, raising his hands over his head. His team doesn’t make a big deal about it, the way they did their other goals. Everyone knows it wasn’t a fairly earned point.

As I reach their side of the field, Brad turns back to me. He must know what’s coming after the stunt he pulled, but he cocks a grin. “Oh, Pretty Boy, nice try.”

Pretty boy? The fuck?

His smile expands like he can’t tell I’m fucking fuming.

“What the hell was that?” I shout. His teammates step aside, surely because they know I have every right to pummel his ass.

“Come on. It’s all in good fun.” He winks. “It didn’t kill you.”

“You’d think someone as good at soccer as you would know that was a foul.” By the time I finish saying that, I’m in his face. Like a fucking moron. Not because he doesn’t deserve this, but as I mentioned, he’s a giant, and I’m barely five-ten. If this escalates into a fight, I’ll get my ass handed to me.

But right now, I’m fucking fine with that. I’m not that confrontational, nor violent, but I’ve been in a few fights when I was younger and had to defend myself.

His gaze narrows. “I am good at soccer.”

“Is that why you had to take a cheap shot?”

“Maybe I just enjoyed doing that.”

I’m surprised by how tempted I am to take a swing. Although, I do want to hear what the hell that was all about before he grinds me into the earth.

“Besides,” he adds. “This isn’t an actual game. It’s for a laugh. And I got a good laugh out of that.”

My nostrils flare, but before I can charge, Alexei slips between us. “Hey, hey.” His hand on my chest holds me off as he turns to my new enemy. “He’s right and you know it, Brad. So how about you apologize?”

“Apologize?” Brad’s forehead creases up. “I think Pretty Boy likes it rough.”

He looks me right in the eyes as he says that, still with that smug grin on his conceited face.

Why does he keep calling me Pretty Boy?

That’s not exactly an insult, but the way he says it, damned if I can think of anything else he could’ve said that could piss me off more. Even though he’s gay, I know it’s not intended as a compliment. Just to get on my nerves.

“Brad, you just fucking acknowledged what you did,” Alexei snaps, and I have to say, though I’m just getting to know the guy, I like his balls because he isn’t intimidated by this asshole either. Maybe because we might stand a chance if both of us jump him.

Brad steps closer to me. “I think Pretty Boy already knows another game he’d like to play.”

He sizes me up, surely registering how quickly he’d have me eating dirt again. I feel his hot breath slamming against my face.

I’m straight, but as we stand there, facing off, all this rage and fury intensifying within me, my dick twitches. Maybe the start of a rage boner, but Brad is one of the hottest guys I’ve seen around campus, so even not being attracted to guys, it’s hard not to appreciate. Fucking asshole got some good genes. Congratu-fucking-lations.

“What’re you waiting for? Trying to figure out if you wanna kiss me?” he asks, clearly trying to rile me up.

“Sorry. Not into assholes.”

“Bet you are,” he says, cocking a brow. “Come on. Hit me. I want to see what you got pent up in that little body.”

The way he’s talking to me, it’s like I did something to him personally. Whatever the hell has him like this is beyond me, but I learned a long time ago I couldn’t hide from bullies, so it’s on. “Fine by me, prick.”

I’m about to lurch at him when another voice comes from nearby. “Okay, okay.” Seth Spears sidles up beside Alexei.

I’ve seen Brad hanging around with Seth and another guy. The three of them seem to have a fucking aura around them, as though they’re as special as their rich parents have surely led them to believe. Not a huge surprise to have guys like this at Georgia’s prestigious St. Lawrence University, known for its impressive alumni and infamous five-thousand-students cap.

“There’s no issue,” Seth says.

“Like hell there’s not,” I spit back. “You saw what happened. He fucking just said what he did.”

“But you don’t mind.”

Seth isn’t just telling that to me, but to everyone, like he’s inside my fucking head and knows how I feel.

“You don’t mind,” he grits out, gaze deadlocked with mine.

My rage intensifies, but another sensation immediately overtakes it, rushing in a wave through me. The knot in my chest relaxes with my shoulders. I struggle to pull my gaze from Seth’s, but my body feels like it’s being rewired. When he finally looks away, there’s a serenity to me.

Brad’s eyes aren’t on me anymore, but on Seth. He looks about to redirect his rage at his buddy. But why?

Figure now would be a good chance to attack, but I suddenly feel sorry for a guy who would need to act up like that. Maybe he’s just jealous that I was able to outrun him. And I don’t have anything to prove.

Even as those thoughts come to me, I struggle with them. This isn’t like me. I don’t cool off after someone gets me that worked up.

“Hey, man, you okay?” Alexei asks.

“Yeah. I just… I don’t even know… Can we just get back to playing?”

“You’re good,” Seth says, patting my shoulder.

Yes, I am. Everything’s fine.

Brad stares at me as if waiting to see what I’m gonna do.

“Whatever. It is what it is,” I say.

Why do I feel this way? Why did I say that?

I look at Alexei, whose jaw is clenched as he eyes Seth. He’s got the same attitude as Brad, like Seth did something wrong, but all he did was calm me down, right? Isn’t that what happened? But it’s hard to know when even the event that led to this moment is becoming difficult to recall.

This shit is so weird, I’d rather get back to the game. Forget this ever fucking happened.

“He’ll get a penalty kick,” Alexei says. “Then we’ll call it even. You think that’s fair, Luke?”

“Yeah, that works for me.”

Fortunately, they let one of the more seasoned guys score the kick for us, and then we get back to the game, everyone acting like nothing happened.

But the interaction with Seth and Brad plays on a loop in my mind.

Brad and I were about to start fighting, weren’t we? You’d think I wouldn’t have a question about that, but it’s like I can’t access the memories and emotions that led up to us standing face-to-face.

After the game wraps up, we head back to the men’s dormitory. Like the main campus it adjoins, it has a Gothic aesthetic.

High arches. Vaulted ceilings. Stained-glass windows.

Decorating the exterior are a few statues of saints, angels, and the Virgin Mary—and even a few serpents and cherubs creepy enough to make me think the architect either feared religious imagery or had a hell of a sense of humor.

When we get to the showers on our floor, we divide up into the different stalls. Being one of the best universities in the country, you’d think St. Lawrence could invest in private restrooms in the regular dorm rooms, but no, we share a communal space like this is the fucking 1970s.

Six of the guys who were playing with us are showering, chatting with one another. Most everyone has been at St. Lawrence since freshman year, so they’ve all had a whole year to get to know each other. I, on the other hand, haven’t even been here three weeks, so it’s gonna take time to make friends.

As I scrub off, my mind keeps drifting through that awkward moment in the game, as if trying to remind me of something, and then it hits me like a fucking brick: Brad catching my tee and shoving me to the ground.

His asshole comments when I confronted him about it.

Heat flares in my cheeks as it all comes rushing back.

That fucking prick.

That asshole !

The knot in my chest is back, even stronger than when I was about to pummel his fucking ass. But despite getting riled up again, I’m relieved it’s all returning to me. And as I hear Brad chuckle in a neighboring stall, I’m about to rush out and take him on.

“You don’t mind.”

Seth’s words float through my mind, stopping me in my tracks.

I didn’t relax until he said those words. But why?

There’s a wild thought that maybe what he said had something to do with my change of heart. But that’s impossible.

My confusion around whatever the hell happened keeps me from starting shit back up. I finish my shower, throw a towel around my waist, and head out of the stall.

Seth and Brad are at their lockers, Brad’s bulky physique on full display. The size of those muscles reminds me how easy it would have been for him to overpower me in a fight. Those biceps of steel, the flesh as taut as his abs, as he lets his thick dick hang out, assuring me that the rumors Alexei told me about him being a sex god are likely true. A reminder that the world isn’t fair because a guy who’s a prick shouldn’t also know what to do with one.

As Brad finishes the combo on his lock and opens the door, he says, “You just gonna keep staring at it, Pretty Boy? Or did you want to play with it some too?”

I hadn’t realized how long I was staring at his junk until he said that.

He turns to me, putting it on full, proud display. His flesh glistens under the fluorescent lights as he stands there, nude except for a necklace with a cross that dangles between his pecs.

I force my gaze to his, moving close to him again. Despite this rage in me, my dick twitches again and my mouth is watering. Gonna pretend it’s just how hungry I am to kick his ass.

“I don’t know what your fucking problem is,” I say, bringing with me all the intensity I had before whatever the fuck happened that got me to calm my ass down.

“Hey, hey,” I hear from beside me, and Alexei inserts himself between us again. He’s damp, like he heard us starting up again and tossed on his towel quickly to intervene.

Brad and Seth glance at each other.

“You don’t mind.”

It’s like Seth is trained in hypnosis or something, and that command was supposed to calm me down. It’s a wild theory, but why are they looking at each other like they’re surprised I’m coming at them like this, unless they thought that should have been enough to subdue me?

As Brad’s gaze meets mine again, he says, “Alexei, don’t stand in his way. If he wants to lose his temper, let him.” He approaches me, puffing his chest out. I notice that dong wagging between his legs before he pushes up close. “Lil’ Scholarship Boy’s got a temper on him. Come on.” His lips are inches from mine. “One punch. Just so when I destroy your ass, everyone knows you started it. Or we could kiss and make up?” He winks.

I must not be as pissed as when I was outside, since I’m able to restrain myself, think about the consequences of getting into a fight with him. I am a scholarship boy, and if it gets out that I was in a fight with one of their richy-rich kids, I can’t imagine that’s gonna do me any favors. And unlike most of the kids in this school, I don’t have the money to get me out of a jam.

When I don’t make a move, Brad sneers. “Good boy,” he tells me, like a lapdog doing his bidding. “Now, unless you want to grab my cock and start jerking, if you don’t mind, I wanna get some fucking pants on.”

The heat in my chest sears, and I press my hands against his pecs and give him a good shove. Unsurprisingly, it only makes him stumble backward slightly. But that’s the fucking least I can do to let him know I’m not afraid of his ass.

He snickers. “Ooh, I like it feisty. Look how hard you’re making me already.”

As I look, he’s already got a semi.

“Dude!” Alexei says. “Put that thing away.”

“Any volunteers?” Brad asks, which earns a groan from Seth, and I roll my eyes and head to my locker.

That may have diffused the tension for now, but given how Brad was on the field and how he treated me since, I already know I’ve found a mortal enemy at St. Lawrence.