MacAlister’s Hope (Kilmartin Glen)

CHAPTER SIX

Chapter Six

Fia rolled over on the narrow bed and blinked her eyes open. She stared at Kieron who sat on a small wooden stool across the small chamber, his back against the wall and his chin almost resting on his chest. Was she dreaming again? Nay, she thought not, but she could not remember how she had come to be asleep in Kieron’s presence…again. She blinked, trying to wake up her groggy mind, and sat up as it came back to her. Her bath. A nap. But she did not think he had been in the chamber when she had crawled onto the bed.

“How long have you been watching over me?” she asked, combing her fingers through her still damp hair. The unfamiliar intimacy of having a man in her sleeping chamber as she awoke was both odd and oddly nice.

He startled, blinking his own eyes as if he, too, had been sleeping. He rubbed his eyes and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“I’m not sure.” His smile was replaced by a shyness she had not seen on him before, his eyes on his feet, and his hands clasped before him. “I know ’tis not proper,” he said, “but…” He smiled again, the confident Kieron she’d come to know this past sennight firmly back in place. “…But I did not ken how long you’d sleep, so left the door ajar, and I waited. I guess I fell asleep, too.” He rose and moved toward the door, but he did not leave. “It looks to be a little past sunrise. I should like to show you about the village if you’d like to get outside for awhile. You have not had any time to explore my home while you have been here.”

“I should get back to the chief,” she said as she pushed off the bed and began to brush the wrinkles out of her gown. “I fear I am not fit company, though.”

“There is a comb, and a ewer of fresh water for you.” He pointed to a small table set against the wall. “Last I checked, the chief sleeps, and the women who were caring for him when you arrived are taking turns sitting with him. Even Tavish has been by to visit his da, which seemed to cheer both of them. You can check on him, and if he still sleeps, we can take a little time and I will show you my village.”

The thought of spending time with Kieron without the worry of the chief hanging over them filled her with happiness, but she knew it would only increase the bond she could feel building between them. She did not want either of them to suffer when she returned to Kilmartin.

“I do not think ’tis a good idea.” She moved to the small table and took up the comb, keeping her back to Kieron lest she weaken in her resolve simply by looking at the braw man. “Besides, I need to teach someone how to make the salve—”

“’Tis an excellent idea,” he replied. “You have worked hard since you arrived here. A walk in the fresh air will be good for you. Besides, there is time enough for making the salve later today, aye? I’ve had Annis gather the supplies for you, but not to make the salve herself,” he quickly added before Fia could object. “I thought perhaps some work would be appropriate after two days with nothing to do but think about what landed her in trouble. Margaret supervised her the whole time and Annis will go out today with her and several lasses to gather more willow bark for your supplies and ours. So you see, all is in hand with the chief’s care and you are free to spend some time with me.” His words were light, but when she looked over her shoulder at him, his lovely green eyes could only be described as hopeful. She turned back to the table, pouring a little water into the bowl set beside the ewer. She splashed the cold water on her face, dispelling the last of her fatigue with it.

“It would seem I am no longer needed.” She dried her face, desperately trying to come up with a reason she could not go with him, though she wanted to just as desperately.

“Nay, lass,” he said, turning her with a hand on her shoulder. He took her hands in his, further testing her resolve with his touch. “You are always needed.” He lifted her hands to his lips and a shiver of pleasure warmed her skin. “But when you did not name your reward,” he lowered her hands but did not let them go, “the chief instructed me to entertain you for a few hours in the hopes that a little leisure and fun might help you think of something you desire.”

She closed her eyes and tried not to think of what she most desired. She must be strong for both of them.

“I confess,” his voice went soft and he gave her hands a light squeeze, “I leapt at the chance to spend the time with you outside these walls.”

“But—”

“Enough buts, Fia. The chief commands it and we cannot decline such a wish when he has been so ill. He will think I no longer honor his position.” Kieron grinned at her and she knew he was managing her just as he managed Tavish, Annis, and anyone else who thwarted his plans. If he wasn’t managing her with a kind heart she might not take it well, but he was, and she found she did not have the strength to disappoint him, or to deny herself his company for one last day.

They quickly checked to see that the chief was well, though the snores that sounded through the thick oaken door of his chamber were a good indication that he was fine. Once Fia had conversed about his care with the woman keeping watch over him, and they had determined when they would gather to start making more of the salve, Kieron took her hand and pulled her away from her charge, down the stairs, through the hall, and down the outer stairs.

The sun was still low in the sky, making long shadows in the village. The smell of wood smoke hung in the air, and the murmurings of people starting their day drifted out from the cottages as Kieron pulled her up the lane.

The feel of his hand in hers warmed her enough to keep the morning chill from penetrating her clothes.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

He grinned at her. “I want to show you my favorite place. ’Tis not far. Come on!” He tugged on her hand, urging her to run with him. He could have easily outpaced her with his long legs, but he must have shortened his stride, or slowed his steps, for she was able to keep up. Before long they left the confines of the village and headed toward a loch that she could just glimpse now and then through the trees, its mirrored surface reflecting the crisp blue of the sky.

“Are we going to run the whole way there?” she asked. Her breath was growing harsh in her throat and her lungs were beginning to burn.

Kieron immediately slowed to a walk. “I am sorry, lass. ’Tis only that we have not much time and I would spend as much time as we can where we are going.”

“You said ’twas not far, aye?”

“Not much farther, though far enough from the village that not many ever go there. I think you will agree ’tis worth the walk once you see the view.”

Fia could feel her brows arch, and she blinked her eyes rapidly as she grew suddenly nervous. A secluded spot, away from the village. She was certain she could trust Kieron to keep her safe, but she was not certain she could keep the distance she had resolved was necessary if she was not to leave here with a broken heart. Alone. With Kieron. A shiver ran through her even as he pulled her back into a slow run.

A few minutes later he pulled her off the trail they had been following, and they climbed up a heavily wooded hillside, stepping around huge boulders, and over downed trees, until they arrived at the summit and the trees opened up to reveal the sweeping vista of the loch. Yellows and oranges of autumns’ trees, and a splotch of green here and there from the determined pines, framed the crystalline surface.

Fia realized she had covered her open mouth with her hand. ’Twas possibly the most beautiful view she had ever seen.

“Do you like it? Was I right ’twas worth the effort to get here?” Kieron asked, his voice reverent. “If there was a spring up here, I would build a house so I could wake to this sight every morn.”

“I would like that, too,” she said. She leaned against his arm, their hands still joined as they had been since they left the chief’s chamber. As she looked out over the loch she couldn’t help but think about waking to this view every day with this man by her side, and what a blessing that life would be. “I would like that, too.”

“Would you? Truly?”

She sighed. “I would.” She slipped her hand out of his and walked closer to the edge of what she now saw was a bluff overlooking the loch. “Do you come here often?” she asked him, just as she felt him slide his arms around her waist. He pulled her back against his chest and it was only then that she realized she was chilled.

“Not much anymore,” he said. “I used to come a lot when I could not take the cruelty of the other lads any longer. Now I come here when I need a bit of quiet, or just to enjoy the view.”

They stood there in companionable silence for a while until Kieron said, “I do not want you to leave, Fia.”

Fia’s breath hitched. “I must. Elena’s time nears and I must be there when the bairn comes. Mairi needs more training. Her sisters need…”

“I need you,” he slowly turned her in his arms to face him. “I need you, too.” He kissed her and she could feel every reason she must leave grow hazy in her mind, even as her body heated and came alive. “I love you, Fia,” he said.

She wanted to say the same thing to him, yearned to tell him of the incredible feelings that had come upon her so suddenly, and so completely, but she would not. It was already too late to prevent heartache for either of them, but she would not let the bond between them grow even stronger by saying what had blossomed in her heart for this man.

When she did not speak, he looked down at her. “Do you not feel the same for me?”

Fia shook her head, fighting her heart with every breath she took, and Kieron looked puzzled.

“You do, lass, I know you do. I can feel it when we touch, when we look at each other, when you sleep in my arms. I can see it in your smile, and the way your eyes light up when you look at me.”

Every word he spoke was true, but still she could not let herself say them.

“Will you take me back to the village now, Kieron,” she said, pulling out of his embrace and heading back the way they had come.

He followed her down the hill letting silence fall between them like a heavy winter blanket, and Fia knew she had hurt him, though that was the last thing she would ever want to do.

When they reached the trail, he drew up next to her. “Why do you deny it, Fia? I ken we have not known each other long, but what I feel is real. What you feel for me is real, even if you will not admit it to me.”

Fia tried to swallow, but the lump in her throat almost choked her. She stopped and looked up at Kieron, her Kieron if she could allow it.

“Can you leave here and stay in Kilmartin with me?”

“For a short time, aye, and then we can return here. I shall build us a cottage near my grandmum’s. I think you two will like each other.”

Fia shook her head. “I cannot come back here, at least not until Elena’s children are grown, Mairi trained in herb lore, the little girls, too. She and Symon have done so much for me and I will not abandon them or their family. I cannot abandon them.”

Kieron stared at her, shaking his head. “I am not asking you to—”

“Do not ask anything of me, Kieron,” she said, laying her hand on his arm. “Please, do not ask anything.” For she knew if he did, any answer she gave him would hurt someone and she could not bear that.