Chapter Eleven
Jax
Holly was breaking my heart. She actually thought her not wanting to risk getting pregnant was a deal-breaker for me. She’d soon learn that I wasn’t going any-fucking-where. And just let anyone try to make me.
I stroked her skin from her neck down her collarbone and the scar from her chemo port right below it, over her breasts, down her ribcage, and to the tops of her thighs. She lay passive beneath me, only stiffening once when my fingers traced the raised area.
Leaning in, I kissed the offending spot, laving my tongue over the ridge in a tender caress. “Does it still hurt?” I didn’t think so, but I was never taking a chance on accidentally hurting her.
“No.” Her voice was a mere thread of sound. Her eyes were glazed and she looked almost as lust-stupid as I felt. The recent serious conversation hadn’t fully left her and let her settle into the moment.
“It makes you more beautiful, you know.”
That got her attention. Her eyes widened and she shook her head slightly. “I… What?”
“This scar.” I traced it once again with my tongue before placing a kiss over it. “Shows how strong you are. You fought a daunting adversary. I suppose you’re still fighting it. But you came out of your last battle on top. Maybe battered and bruised, but you won. So yeah. This scar, the scars on your arms from the IVs. How you consider your future carefully and know what you’re willing to sacrifice and how to achieve your dreams in an alternate way.”
I kissed her chin. “Baby, I hate that you went through what you did. I saw how hard it was. I witnessed how hard you fought. I hate every single bit of it. But it made you into the woman here in my arms now. I know you’re strong. I know you’re a fighter. I know you are capable of making anything you want happen. Even though you’re one of the most capable and tough women I know, you’re still willing to admit you need help. Or to put yourself in my care and trust me not to let you down.”
I grinned at her and watched in satisfaction as she gasped when I gave into that smile tugging at my lips. “You have no idea how sexy that is to a guy like me.” I took her lips then, kissing her harder this time. I thrust my tongue deep and she whimpered, but opened her mouth wider, tangling her tongue with mine. When I pulled back, I stared hard at her, making sure she held my gaze. “Do not ever think your scars repel me. They are badges of honor. Wear them proudly.”
She nodded her head, probably on instinct. When I used that particular tone of voice, it usually sent men scattering. At least, the men I commanded in the field did. In the Black Reign compound, I was low man on the totem pole. Most of the guys still saw me as the gangly teenager trying to keep up with a defiant Holly and her hell hounds in the form of Saint Bernard dogs. She’d had a whole herd of them at one point. Then a little Holly of about nine approached El Diablo and announced he needed to get her a trainer for the dogs so the puppies could be service dogs, and that the fully trained and ready dogs should be donated to people who need them. Especially kids. I’d helped El Diablo make it a reality.
“There really is nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for you, Holly.” Then I qualified my meaning. “Except for leaving you. I can’t give you up to another man. No one but me can appreciate you the way you should be. No one can protect you as savagely as I will.”
It took her several seconds to blink away the stunned look on her face. Probably because I let my ruthless side peek out. Then it was her turn to roll her eyes. “Are you gonna talk all night or fuck me?”
I couldn’t help myself. I threw my head back and laughed, rolling with her until she was on top of me, straddling my hips. “Shut up and fuck you, huh?”
“If I knew you were so chatty during sex, I’d have found something else for you to do with your mouth.” Holly looked disgruntled, but also a little impatient. If there was any lingering doubt in my mind she was ready for this, that look erased it.
“You would have, hmm? And what would that be?”
“You’re the one with all the experience! What do you want to do besides talk? There’s got to be something.”
“First of all, I want to know if you’re a virgin. And before you think I won’t like what you’re gonna say, there is no right or wrong answer. I just don’t want to hurt you.”
She huffed out a breath. “I tried to have sex with a guy once, but I chickened out because it didn’t feel right. But I’ve penetrated myself masturbating.”
I smiled up at her. “Good. Now. As to my talking so much, if the situation were reversed, I’d shut you up by having you suck my cock.” I raised an eyebrow. It was my turn to push her now. Not because I wanted her to suck me off, but because I wanted her to fucking tell me to eat her pussy. Now that the thought of her actually telling me to eat her pussy had entered my head, I had to hear it. Would she be demure and shy? Blush?
“Oh, you would?” She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at me.
“Absolutely. Only way to shut a woman up when she gets chatty during sex.”
She gave me a narrow-eyed look of disapproval. “Challenge issued. Challenge accepted.” She pushed off me, and back to where she’d lain before I rolled us. She spread her legs and patted her mound with one delicate hand. “Put your mouth to use down here.”
“Oh, baby girl,” I purred, watching her body erupt in sweat. She liked the predatory gleam I knew was reflected in my eyes. “Challenge definitely accepted. Now. Tell me. Word for word. What do you want me to do?”
I took my time moving into position above her. The sleek muscles of her thighs bunched as I wrapped my arms around them to pull them apart, so I could gaze at her pretty, bare cunt. I loved the tension gripping her, the anticipation etched across her face. It was intoxicating, and it only fueled my own lust. She wanted me. My instinct was to give her what she wanted.
“Wh-what?” Her eyes widened.
“You heard me. Tell me exactly what you want, or I’ll put my mouth where I want it. And it might not be where you want it.”
Again, like I knew she would, Holly stuck out her chin. Cheeks growing red, a fresh layer of sweat slickening her skin, she said exactly what I wanted her to say. “I want your mouth on my pussy.”
“Fuck me…” My muttered expletive was said over her glistening lips. I had never been so hell-bent on pleasing a woman as I was for Holly right now. I loved the little bite to her voice and the willing way she did exactly what I wanted her to do, even though it was outside her comfort zone, both humbled and excited me.
Her pussy wept with need, her lips quivering as I leaned closer. I blew a light breeze over her clit and she gasped, clenching her hands into tight fists beside her. I smirked and watched as she bit her lower lip.
“Uh-uh…” I tsked . “None of that.” I reached up and tugged her lip free of those pearly white teeth. “No holding back. You need to scream, you scream.”
“But what if someone hears?”
“What if they do? You think no one here has sex?”
She gave me an impatient look. “Of course, I know they have sex!”
I grinned. “Then don’t worry about it. They know we’re a new couple. They know this is our house. Anyone comin’ around for at least a couple months should expect to hear us havin’ sex unless they fuckin’ call first.”
To my surprise, that got a laugh out of her. She tunneled her fingers through my hair and gripped. “Then do your best. You want me to scream, you gotta earn it.”
Her bold challenge sent an electrifying thrill throughout my body, igniting all the right spots. “Oh, baby,” I drawled out, “you have no idea what you’ve unleashed. You can bet your pretty ass I plan to earn it.”
With that, I dipped my head and closed my lips around her clit in a brief, gentle suck.
I gripped her thighs with my large hands as I kissed a path up her stomach to her belly button, then back down between her legs. She squirmed under me, a frustrated whimper escaping her. She clutched the sheets beside her before her other hand slid into my hair and she pulled me where she wanted me.
I took a moment to admire the sight before me. Holly lying naked and open beneath me, ready and waiting for my touch. My kisses.
Letting my fingers trace circles on her thigh, I blew another light puff of air at her clit. Her hips jerked up involuntarily, seeking more contact. I chuckled low in my chest at her eagerness. “Patience, baby,” I muttered against her skin, causing her to shiver at the sensation.
I let my tongue dart to take a long swipe from pussy to clit. Then again. Then I covered her pussy and sucked. Her scent surrounded me, filled me with a sweet intoxication. I took a moment to savor her taste. “You’re laid out in front of me like a banquet for one. Woman, I’m fuckin’ starvin ’.”
I growled as I covered her pussy again, licking and thrusting my tongue inside her. I sucked her lips and clit, circling my finger at her entrance but not penetrating. Not yet.
“Jax! Jax! JAX!”
She chanted my name like a mantra, her hands pulling at my hair as her hips bucked. I continued to eat her out, the taste of her driving me further and further to the edge of my own control. My cock throbbed insistently against my jeans, but for now, this was about getting her ready to take me. Holly was as inexperienced as they came. The last thing I wanted to do was stretch her before she was relaxed and eager for the burn.
“Not yet.” I shook my head and pressed her hips down onto the bed with my forearm across her pelvis when she tried to grind against me. “No moving, baby. Let me do all the work.”
I took another long lick, savoring her sweetness before circling her clit slowly with my tongue in ever faster circles. I could feel her muscles contracting under my touch, could see the desperate pleasure on her face as she writhed beneath me.
“God… Jax… please,” she whimpered. Her fingers tugged harder on my hair and I growled in response.
“What do you want, Holly?” I asked, looking up at her as I continued to tease her clit with my tongue.
“I-I…” She shook her head and swallowed. When she opened her eyes, it was to meet my gaze without flinching. “I want to come.” Bless her heart, she looked more than a little uncomfortable, but she didn’t back down an inch.
“Do you?” Lick. “I don’t think you’re nearly desperate enough.” Suck. “Maybe I should eat you out a while longer.” Lick . Suck .
“Jax!” She screamed my name.
“Humm. Not quite there yet, but you’re getting close.”
Her legs tightened around my head and her back arched off the bed. “Jax! You asshole! Let me fuckin’ come !”
“Thaaaat’s more like it.” I chuckled against her clit while I used two fingers to penetrate her in a shallow thrust. “You’re gettin’ there fast, ain’t you, baby?”
When she cried out again, I slipped my fingers farther inside her, finding that sweet spot. While I circled her clit with my thumb, I lapped up her juices around my fingers. God, she was so fucking wet and hot for me!
“Ahh!” Holly’s body clenched and shivered, her climax taking her over.
I gave one final lick before crawling up her body to capture her cries with my kiss. My fingers were still in her pussy between our bodies. The contractions were strong, like she was trying to suck me deeper inside her. I even still had my jeans on, but I had to taste her cries.
She gasped, as I continued to kiss her while the waves of her climax ebbed. She tasted delicious and wild, like honey and spicy, raw energy. Her body was so fucking responsive under my touch, her breaths coming in short, ragged gasps. I reveled in each small tremor against my lips, each hitch of her breath, every sign that she had surrendered to me.
“Shit, Jax.” She smiled as I continued to kiss her. Her eyes were still closed and there was the most glorious euphoric expression on her beautiful face.
“I told you,” I said hoarsely, trailing kisses along her throat as I withdrew my fingers from her slowly, making sure she felt me touching her. “I told you I would make you scream.”
She shivered under me, her fingernails digging into my back as she caught her breath. Her eyes were glazed and unfocused when she finally looked back at me, a slow smile spreading across her flushed face. “That you did.”
“Holly,” I murmured against her lips, curling my fingers in her hair. “Hold on, baby. We’re just gettin’ started.”
Her eyes were wide with need as she looked up at me. She was panting hard. I could feel my own breath hitch as I watched her chest rise and fall. Her breasts were flushed pink and sweaty. I traced a thumb lightly over a nipple and watched it tighten in response.
“You’re fucking beautiful,” I said hoarsely as I unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down my hips along with my underwear. I rolled slowly until I sat on the edge of the bed, letting the garments pool at my feet on the floor. I bent over, fishing my wallet out of my pants to pull out two condoms. I tossed one to the dresser and opened the packet of the other one, tossing the empty foil next to the unopened condom on the dresser. I laid the opened latex at the head of the bed next to the pillow. I didn’t expect it would be long until I needed it.
Her eyes widened farther at the sight of me. I groaned at the hungry look she gave me. “Touch me, Holly,” I said gruffly. “Touch me, then get me ready to fuck you.”
She nodded her head eagerly and sat up and moved next to me. Climbing off the bed, she moved in front of me, then sank to her knees. She placed her hands on my thighs before leaning in to kiss the tip of my cock.
Her lips were soft and tentative as they brushed against the swollen head of my dick, her gaze locked with mine. A jolt of heat surged through me, spreading out to ignite my entire body. My hands clenched into fists as I fought to remain still, to let her explore at her own pace.
She looked unsure for a moment, before she parted her lips and took me into her mouth. It was warm and wet and heavenly. I grunted involuntarily at the sensation, my eyes sliding shut as I tipped my head back, reveling in the feel of her tongue swirling around the tip. I was sure she got a hit of precum when her eyes widened and she sucked in a sharp breath through her nose.
“Fuck… Holly,” I murmured, my voice a hoarse whisper in the silent room. I gripped her hair, the strands soft against my fingers as I guided her movements. I hadn’t even realized I’d moved, but the silky strands bunched in my fist anchored me when nothing else could.
She took more of me into her mouth, sucking me deeper while her hand began to stroke my shaft. I let out a low growl of pleasure as her ministrations sent a sharp thrill shooting up my spine. She was still hesitant, but as she continued to suck and I continued to groan with every pull of her mouth, she gained more confidence. Her tongue swirled around the head of my cock again before starting a rhythmic bobbing. I groaned, throwing my head back as her mouth worked its magic.
“Christ, Holly,” I managed to gasp out, my breath hitching each time she took me deeper. My fingers tightened in her hair, not to control her but to ground myself again. The pleasure was intense, overwhelming, and I knew I wouldn’t last much longer if she kept up. And no fucking way I was coming down her throat the first time I was with her. I’d do that later.
My hips thrust involuntarily and she pulled back slightly, her cheeks flushing a pretty pink under my gaze. But then she moved again, taking me in her mouth once more, and I had to bite back a moan.
“Holly, stop,” I bit out through clenched teeth as I gently tugged her away from me by her hair. She whimpered but eagerly got to her feet and threw herself into my arms.
“Please, Jax,” she whispered. “Please. I can’t wait anymore. What do you need to hear to fuck me already?”
My heart pounded in my chest at her words and a satisfied growl rumbled in my throat. Grabbing the condom from where it still lay on the corner of the bed already open. My hands were shaking ever so slightly. I hoped like fuck she didn’t notice because that would be the height of embarrassment. Then again, this was my Holly. It was worth as much embarrassment as it took if it put her at ease.
“Help me put this on.” The gruff order came out through the haze of need. “My fuckin’ hands are shakin’ too fuckin’ much.”
A small nervous giggle escaped her as she reached for the small latex circle. Her fingers touched mine as she took it from me, sending another jolt through me. I’m not sure I was this nervous the very first time I fucked a woman, and this was infinitely more important.
I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself as she unrolled the condom over my pulsing erection. Her touch was gentle as she pinched the tip and rolled it down my length. I was long and thick, and the lip of the condom didn’t roll all the way to the base.
Holly looked up at me with wide, clear blue eyes. I gripped her upper arms and pulled her to her feet. She came to me willingly, wrapping her arms and legs around my body before kissing me again. She clung as I stood and moved us back onto the bed, lying on top of her so that, once again, she was pressed into the mattress.
“I-I’m ready, Jax,” she whispered against my lips, her eyes shiny with what appeared to be a mix of excitement and fear. “Please don’t make me wait any longer.”
I nodded at her, placing a slow, deliberate kiss on her lips before pulling back to gaze at her. Taking a deep breath, I hooked her right leg higher over my hip, angling myself at her entrance. I could feel the heat of her pussy against my cockhead through the condom, and I had to bite back a groan.
“Sweet God,” I murmured, pressing against her. Her eyes widened as she felt the head of my cock press against her entrance. I watched those beautiful blue eyes clench shut as she bit down on her bottom lip.
“No, Holly,” I said softly, trailing my fingers down her thigh. “Look at me. Open those beautiful eyes and watch me as I enter you.”
She nodded her head, opening her eyes to look at me. “Do it.” She hissed her command, her eyes wild with need. “Do it now, Jax!”
Without another word, I pushed into her. The sound that escaped her lips was half gasp, half moan, and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. The tight heat of her wrapped around me was incredible. She clung tightly to me, and I wanted to puff out my chest. This woman, this beautiful, courageous, stubborn woman wanted me.
This absolutely had to be good for her. So, slowly, with more restraint than I thought possible, I began to move inside her. Each thrust brought a new sigh or whimper from Holly, each more arousing than the last.
I pressed my forehead against hers, feeling the sweat bead there as I tried my best not to get too lost in her. Holly’s fingers dug into my back, then my ass as she urged me to take her deeper, harder. She braced her feet on my calves and tried to take control of the pace and all my aspirations of holding back evaporated as I drove into her.
“Oh God,” she whispered in my ear, her breath hitching. “Jax…” Her body tensed and then shuddered under mine. Her pussy squeezed my cock with relentless convulsions. Then Holly arched her back and screamed in a long, loud yell. She thrashed beneath me, bucking like a wild Mustang. It was all I could do to stay on top of her. Except for when she wrapped her legs around my hips and dug her heels into my ass.
Yeah. Game over.
My control snapped like a frayed wire. In the heat of her orgasm, my restraint crumbled. I drove into her with hard, powerful strokes. She took it all and begged for more. A surge of primal satisfaction coursed through me as I watched her come apart under me again.
“Fuck,” I groaned as I felt the familiar tightening at the base of my spine. My thrusts became erratic, harder and faster as I neared my own climax. The room echoed with our mingled moans and cries, the air heavy with the scent of sex and sweat.
I was teetering on the edge, staring into the abyss. “Holly,” I groaned again, feeling my release coiling tightly, ready to snap. “I’m… fucking hell. I’m comin’ right… fuckin’… now!”
Her hand cupped my face and pulled me down for a kiss that was so full of passion, so full of need that it sent me spiraling over the edge right then. But Holly wasn’t done with me.
“No,” she gasped, her body already trembling under me in aftershocks. “Don’t stop, Jax. I want more!”
“Christ, Holly…” My words were a ragged whisper, my body shuddering with the maddening climax ripping through me. Her fingers dug into my back, urging me on. “I don’t… fuck… I don’t wanna hurt you.”
But Holly was having none of it. Her eyes flashed fiercely up at me, her nails digging harder into my skin. “You won’t,” she growled back at me, pulling me closer. “Make me come one more time. Please!” The whispered plea was more than I could ignore. And wouldn’t have anyway. If Holly needed, I provided.
My groan echoed loudly in the room as I gave in to her demands, losing myself in her cries and the way she gave me exactly what I wanted. She screamed her pleasure and wasn’t shy about telling me to move the way she wanted. I thrust into her one more time and this time there was no holding back the tidal wave that crashed over me.
As my orgasm ripped through me, a guttural shout erupted from my throat. Holly’s cries mingled with mine and together our voices danced through the room until we were both finally silent and still.
I was stunned. I’d never lost my mind so completely with a woman. And, by God, it felt right.
“Did I hurt you, honey?” I could barely muster the effort to get the words out.
“No. Not at all.” Holly’s sweet sigh was so filled with contentment I breathed a heavy sigh of relief.
“Thank God, because I really want to do that again. Soon.”
The smile she graced me with was nothing shy of glorious. Yeah. I was a goner.
Game.
Fucking.
Over.