Chapter 42
Delaney
It’s late when I roll over and stare at the ceiling. Maddox is awake. He gave me space but never left the bed beyond speaking to his father out in the hall.
If she goes, I go. I can’t believe he said that to his father.
Did he mean it? Of course he did. Maddox is many things, but he’s never been a liar.
Where does that leave me?
The sharp ache in my chest has faded to a dull thrum and with a groan, I whisper into the silence, “Why? Why would he do that to his own blood?”
“I don’t know,” Maddox says, his deep tone washing over me. “He’s an animal.”
Those pale, icy blue eyes roll through my brain, and I suck in a breath that does not hide my sob when I say, “It’s my fault.”
I should have gone to Ice sooner. I should have listened when Kidd tried to warn me. I did this because I was a selfish bitch.
“No, it’s not,” Maddox rasps, looming above me. “That fucker does what he wants, and you had nothing to do with it.”
He’s so confident that sometimes I wish I could borrow some of it for a little while, but I know in the end, it’s up to me to figure this shit out.
When his lips quirk in a sexy smile though, I can’t resist and run my finger through the divot in his cheek before he grabs my wrist and places a kiss in the palm of my hand.
Closing my eyes, I embrace the pulse of warmth filling my chest. How can he be so fierce and yet so gentle at the same time? How can I love him after everything that’s gone down?
Am I in love? I can’t fathom facing off against a murderer to spare anyone else the pain he would’ve endured.
Although maybe that makes me insane. Ha!
When did I fall? I don’t know because I think, in a way, we’ve been connected since the beginning.
I needed Maddox to help me face my fears and maybe he needed the same from me.
“How do you know?” I finally ask. “Maybe I could have done something differently.”
His easy smile fades before he falls back to the mattress and says, “Because he took my mother for fun and raped and murdered her.”
We drop to silence after that, and turning to my side, I eye the tic in his jaw before tracing my finger over the stubble.
My skin tingles at the rasp and I exhale softly when a zing of pleasure shoots through me. I half wondered if what I did behind that building would change how I view intimacy. I guess I can let that worry go.
Although to be fair, Maddox is hard to resist.
When he grabs my hand and places it over his heart, I feel the beat beneath my fingers and thank the powers that be that he’s here and unharmed.
Still, I can’t see his expression and maybe it’s for the best when I say, “I can’t change who I am.”
“I don’t want you to,” he rasps before pulling me up his chest and tilting my chin.
“What if Ice is my father?” I ask. It’s still a possibility because despite Ice’s assertion, my mother’s admission means that I don’t really know who the man really is.
How’s that for a kick in the face?
Although his brows flicker, when our eyes lock, he brushes lips against mine and says, “I want you, Delaney. I want to see those gorgeous eyes every time I wake up and I want to kiss those amazing lips every night when we go to bed.”
Peppering kisses across my face, he continues, “I want to fight with you over the covers, feed you bacon and eggs when you’re hungry.”
When his mouth come back to mine, he licks my lower lip and breathes, “I want to explore the world with you on the back of my bike. Just me, you and the road, princess.”
“Maddox,” I whisper, pressing my lips to his.
“I got you, princess. For-fucking-ever,” he groans, taking my mouth in a searing kiss.
Breathless, I frown when he pulls back, only to comply as he shoves my sweatshirt and shirt off my head and tosses them away.
When his dark eyes drop to my heaving chest, I lean back with a kernel of awareness. Would he want me if he knew that I kissed that Aces scum and writhed on his erection to save my life?
“You’re beautiful,” he breathes, touching my cheek and when I meet his gaze, I relax into the mattress.
If anyone understands what I did to survive, it’s Maddox and as he traces his finger over my bottom lip before skating down my chin, over my chest and around my areola, I let the dirty past go, knowing this man will wash me clean.
“Mm,” he hums before sucking the peak between his lips.
Grabbing his hair, I stroke my fingers through the strands before arching against him and he looks up with a devilish grin. My heart pulses at that as he pushes me back to the bed and drops to the floor before unbuttoning my pants with deft fingers and shoving them and my panties to the floor.
Shivering at the rasp of his fingers when he spreads me wide, I arch into the air as he says, “Beautiful.”
Beyond proper speech, I can only moan when he drops his mouth to my core and licks between my folds in slow strokes, up, down and around.
“Please,” I cry, bowing off the bed.
“Sh,” he rumbles. “I know, princess. I’ve got you.”
He does, he definitely does as his wicked tongue presses against me in long strokes, sending liquid fire through my veins. With each pulse of pleasure, I squirm before grabbing his shoulders when he searches out my clit and suckles it gently between his lips.
“I need you,” I cry, digging my heels into the mattress.
“Fuck, Delaney,” he groans, as I cry out, the orgasm undulating through my body in waves.
While I pulse against him, he rises, pulls down his boxers and presses between my legs. And after running the length between my folds, and wetting the head with my arousal, he pushes inside, rasping, “Princess.”
My eyes roll and I follow his gaze to where we’re joined, the sight so beautifully erotic that I clench with need.
“Fuck,” he gasps, sliding to the end before pumping slowly inside me.
“More,” I moan, when he grabs my hips and adjusts his angle.
My heart flutters at his wicked smirk when he thrusts against that spot deep inside and an ache builds once more in my core.
“That’s it, princess,” he moans, and I wrap my legs around him, crying out as I crash over the edge again.
“Fuck, yes,” he growls, his mouth pulling back into a grimace while he pounds into me.
His panting breaths caress my face as he grabs my hips and sinks deep. And when he shudders, tears fill my eyes because he may never know but this moment healed a part of my newly broken soul.
“I need you too, princess,” he breathes into my ear before pressing his lips to nose in a gentle kiss.
The following morning, I wake to an empty bed and roll over to stare at the ceiling.
I hope Maddox isn’t squaring off against his dad again. If I’ve learned anything from this nightmare it’s that you can’t deny who you are and if you love someone, you don’t want them to be someone else for you.
Maybe my mom wouldn’t be where she is now if she had accepted Joker. I only know the basics of their past but based on what she said, I suspect she still cares for him.
Of course, if she hadn’t left with him, I wouldn’t be here. In some ways this feels like a redo of their past mistakes and although the thought is weird, it inspires me to seek Maddox out.
I can’t control what Joker decides in terms of the Saints as a whole but surely there’s a way to make this work without Maddox leaving the life he loves for me.
Unfortunately, after dressing, brushing a comb through my hair and cleaning my teeth, I’m jolted from my mission when I find Mom and Peter waiting in the main room.
The fact that Peter is in uniform sends a chill through me and I rush forward, hoping to defuse whatever is going on because it’s easy to see the two groups squaring off with what feels like half the MC opposite.
After pushing through several burly men, I pause beside Maddox and eye my mom.
“We don’t need the pigs here, Red,” Joker says, and I mentally groan.
Ugh. What a way to fire the first shot and it’s a doozy if Peter’s brutal scowl is anything to go by.
“Fuck you,” Peter barks. “Delaney, it’s time to go.”
This is a side of Peter that I’ve never seen, and I don’t know how to respond without fanning the flames.
When Maddox’s shoulder brushes mine, I summon a weak smile that fades under the reality of our situation.
The first of many tests is here and I dread the outcome because if Maddox and his brothers can’t get past my relationship with my stepdad, how will they ever accept Mom…me and our Aces affiliation?
Immune to the tension in the air, or maybe she’s learned how to ignore it, Mom says, “Sweetie.”
She clasps her hands together, perhaps to hide the trembling and I ask, “Mom? Are you okay?”
“Oh, sweetie,” she says, “I’m okay.”
Although I have my doubts, there’s not much I can say when she leaves Peter’s side and approaches with a watery smile.
“It’s going to be a struggle for a while,” she says, “but I’m trying, Delaney. For you…for us.”
She glances back at Peter and his eyes soften the way they always do when he’s looking at my mother. The fact that he loves her has never been in question, but the problem is, he refuses to see her imperfections and that’s an issue when you live with an addict.
Even so, I’m hopeful but words only have so much value. I guess time will prove whether she can make it work.
“That’s so good, Mom,” I say but I don’t move. I’m rooted to this spot beside Maddox and as her gaze moves between us, I see the light dawn in her eyes.
Although it pains me to see her bow her head, I know she’ll understand eventually.
She’s chosen her path and it’s going to be bumpy.
I’ll support her but I can’t go back and while I hate to put new barriers between us, I can’t deny that my home no longer includes her and the man who’s always been my stepdad.
I found my place with Maddox, even if it means we both have to leave, although I hope it doesn’t come to that.
“You’re not coming home,” she says and a lump forms in my throat before I slowly shake my head.
When Maddox grabs my hand, I exhale slowly and say, “I love him, Mom.”