Chapter Nine
A nna sat on a wooden bench outside the barn waiting for Sawyer to finish up with the horse. It wasn’t that she was squeamish. She could take pretty much anything, except spiders, but when he thrust his entire arm up into the hugely pregnant mare, the look in the horse’s dark brown eyes had sent a shudder through Anna. It was either leave the scene or succumb to her instincts and run into the stall to comfort the poor creature. She was fairly sure neither Sawyer nor Tuff…er, Ryan, would’ve appreciated her interference. Plus, she’d never been in a stall with a horse before. If she’d made a wrong move and scared Spring, it could’ve been dangerous for everyone, the horse included.
“You okay?” Sawyer ambled out, his brown hair gleaming with golden highlights in the sodium vapor light over the barn doors.
“I’m fine.” She dropped her head back against the rough barn wall.
He set his bag down on the gravel drive and dropped down beside her. “It can be disconcerting…seeing how we palpate a horse or a cow. Lots of times, people worry that the animal will kick me. I was safe though. She’s used to a vet’s touch by this time in her life, I’m sure.”
Anna opened her eyes and gave him a skeptical look. “It wasn’t you I was worried about. It was her. She looked so defenseless and scared with Ryan holding her head and you at the other end shoving your whole arm… Well, it was… disconcerting . That’s a good word.” She shook her head and blurted, “Females of all species are so vulnerable. Especially when they’re carrying children. It makes us defenseless in a way that is terrifying to me. And after they have the babies, they’re responsible for another helpless being.” She shuddered. “I never want to be so vulnerable.”
His brow furrowed as he clearly considered her words. “I think being able to create and bring another being into the world makes females incredibly powerful. To grow a whole person or colt or calf or even a litter of kittens inside you—to nurture little souls into life.” He blinked and leaned back as he stretched his arms as if to encompass female creatures everywhere. “That’s powerful stuff, Anna. It’s a force to be reckoned with.” He touched her cheek with one gentle finger. “It’s magical.”
Later, Anna would dissect and parse and wonder what in the world made her do it, but in that moment, she reacted purely on instinct—she kissed him. Framing his face with her hands, relishing the scratch of his five-o’clock shadow against her palms, she took his mouth in a move that startled her and sent zips and zings through every nerve. His lips were warm as he returned the kiss, turning toward her to deepen it, as it turned into another and another. They kissed hungrily, like two people who were starving for affection, and Anna’s brain—all those clear logical things she should have been thinking—disappeared like mist in sunshine.
Heaven only knew how long they might have sat lip-locked on the bench, but the question was moot because Ryan’s deep throat-clearing hustled them apart. “Sorry…I…um… Don’t mind me.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “I’ll go back in the barn. No worries.”
Horrified, Anna popped up and swiped the back of her hand over her kiss-swollen lips. “No, it’s okay. We—We’re done here.”
Ryan smirked. “Looked to me like you were just getting started.” He shrugged when she glared at him. “Just sayin’.”
Anna sneaked a quick peek at Sawyer, who grinned despite being red-faced. But he merely stuck out his hand and said, “Nice to meet you, Ryan. I’ll let John know that Spring is doing well. I imagine he’ll be out to check her again in a couple of days. Feel free to call the clinic if you need us for anything at all.”
“Thanks, Doc.” Ryan shook his hand while Anna stalked to Sawyer’s truck, fuming and humiliated.
Sawyer took his sweet time stowing his bag behind his seat, climbing in the pickup, and fastening his seatbelt. He shoved the key in the ignition but didn’t start the engine. Instead, staring straight ahead, he released a big breath and started to speak, but Anna held up one hand.
“Could we please get out of here?” Anna said, trying to keep her voice cool, but failing miserably.
Her hands were shaking, and dear God, Ryan still stood in the open barn door watching them curiously. This was going to be all over town in a matter of hours. Anna Walker and the new vet making out in front of Trudy Morrow’s barn.
She gritted her teeth and looked at Sawyer’s profile in the barn light. “Please,” she repeated, looking over at Sawyer.
“It was a kiss, Anna.” He met her eyes over the console and the desire that still lingered in his expression made her flinch and then, dammit , shiver. “Okay, it was a couple of kisses between two consenting adults. Great kisses, but nothing to be upset about. Frankly, I enjoyed them—a lot. I hope we have more…very soon.” He reached out and tweaked her braid. “I think you enjoyed them as much as I did.”
Anna scowled and leaned away from his touch. “Whether or not I enjoyed myself is beside the point.”
“What is the point?” Sawyer dropped his hand to the steering wheel.
“The point is…” Anna stopped, then began again. “The point is that…” She faltered once more because she had nothing.
What was the point anyway? Why should she care what anyone in River’s Edge thought about her going out on a farm call with the new vet and ending up kissing him in the barn lot under the spring evening starshine? The fact was that she honestly didn’t care, beyond having to bear up under merciless teasing from her brothers and cousins and probing questions from Maddie and Kara and Tee and Sam and the rest of her cadre of girlfriends.
The real point was that she didn’t want to fall for this guy. She was still too raw and heartsore from all that happened with Daniel. But she was falling for him, and maybe the only way she could avoid the same kind of pain was to tell Sawyer the whole story. After he knew, they could go from there—be friends because he seemed like a person who could be a nice friend. “Please, just drive.”
His lips twisted for a second and he started to say something but didn’t. Instead, he started the truck, backed out, and with a wave to Ryan, pulled away from the barn.
*
The drive back to the clinic was pretty much silent. Sawyer knew there was something he should say, but he was damned if he knew what it was. So, he kept to the easy stuff—mentioning the landscape and sights along the road, noting that the showboat was in the water. Anna acknowledged the observation with a nod and explained that Aidan would have his show schedule out by May first and how it was always fun to see what theme he picked for the summer season.
Mac’s was closed that time of night, as was the Tea Leaf and Paula’s Bread animals were easy.
“I guess maybe we weren’t done. Suddenly, we were back together and it was fast and glorious. We saw each other whenever we could. A couple of times, he drove over here but mostly, I went to Cincy. Three months of heaven, Sawyer.” She drew her lips into a tight line. “Then, one night right before Thanksgiving, we were”—she blushed, but continued with a determined set of her chin—“we were in his bed in Cincy. He told me he was getting married again. I truly thought he meant to me …I was looking around for a ring box.”
Sawyer’s heart sank, disappointment for her washing over him. “It wasn’t you, apparently?”
She shook her head. “I said we are ? Really ? I was being all coy, even though I knew for sure that he was about to propose. But he didn’t. He told me he was going back to Italy the next day to be with Serena.” She nearly spat the name. “She was pregnant, expecting their first child. The one they’d tried for so many times. Worst part is he knew . He knew before he and I started back up that he was going to be a father.”
“Why would he…” Sawyer was grasping, trying to understand why a man who knew he had a child on the way would leave the child’s mother and get involved with a woman from his past. How could this Daniel not have known that he would break Anna’s heart? “I mean, what was he…” He had no idea what to ask, so he went on the defensive for her. “I hope you kicked him where it would hurt the most.”
Anna looked utterly demoralized, rubbing her forehead as if trying to erase the memory of the scene. “I got up and dressed as fast I could, while he was lying there saying nothing, but at least having the grace to look somewhat ashamed. Before I left, I asked him What was this? ” She swirled her hand. “Meaning the last three hours and the whole last few months and me .”
Sawyer flinched. “I almost hate to ask what his response was to that.”
She dropped her head back against the headrest. “Good-bye. He said we’d never really ended things when I left Italy, and he needed it before he could go back and make a life with Serena and their child. What I thought was our new beginning was his closure.”
“He said he needed closure from a relationship that actually ended over eight years ago?”
She sighed, seemingly exhausted. “So, you see, Sawyer, I’m used up. I’m still sore and skeptical, and I’m not willing to put myself on the line again.” She opened her eyes and turned toward him. “You seem like such a nice guy. You deserve someone who can give her whole self to you. I’m not there.” She smiled wanly, and the expression unnerved him. That face was not the self-assured, breezy Anna he knew. “I’ve put on a really good show for my family and friends the last few months. You’re the only one who’s ever heard the whole story—the others know that he went back to his wife and I was sad for a little while. They think he’s a dog, and maybe he is, but they don’t know how invested I got in only a couple of months. I thought we were getting married, for God’s sake.”
“You shouldn’t hide pain from the people who love you, Anna.” Sawyer touched her shoulder.
“They’ll hate him more than they already do.”
“What do you care?” Sawyer didn’t get it. “Why protect him?”
Anna sucked in a shaky breath. “Truth?”
“Always.”
She hesitated, nibbling her lower lip. “I don’t want them to know how stupid I was—how much of a cliché. Handsome, romantic guy crooks his finger and I fold like a paper doll. It’s humiliating.”
“They’re your family, Anna; they know you’re human.” He offered a smile. “Hell, my family damn near lost their collective stuff when I left the university to come here. But I was honest, told them I was done with being a professor—grades, a killer teaching schedule, plus labs and surgeries, pressure to publish, always having to be more concerned with people than with the animals.” He peered into her face. “If you come from a family of academics, expectations that you’ll love that life are pretty high. They may not have understood or loved my decision, but they love me, so…” He tossed out his hands in a there you have it gesture. “Your brothers aren’t going to think any worse of you because you fell in love. They may want to fly to Italy and give old Daniel the kick he should’ve gotten from you but stop putting on the Anna can handle anything face. Stop being brave and let them in.”
Anna sat for another moment or two. Sawyer was too aware of the citrus scent of her hair and the warmth of her body in the close quarters of the truck cab. At last, she opened her door, and the light overhead gave her blonde hair a golden glow.
“Are we still on for dinner Friday?” He wasn’t about to give up. Now that he knew the mountain he had to climb with Anna Walker, he wasn’t in the least intimidated.
She frowned for a second before lifting one shoulder. “Sure. But it’s not a date.”
He winked. “Whatever makes you comfortable, Ms. Walker.”
She dug in her purse for her key fob and slipped out of his truck, then dipped her head back in for a second. “Thanks for listening, Doc. You are a genuinely good guy.”
He smiled, wishing with all his heart he’d kissed her before she’d gotten out. But after that revealing confession, a good guy wouldn’t, and besides there was time for that. “Hold that thought,” he said aloud. He watched as she got in her truck, started the engine, and backed out of the space, before turning his own ignition key and following her down out of the parking lot.