Make Me Bleed (Visceral #3)

Prologue

Time is a drag of essence lost in the blur of the colored walls in front of me. Smoke curls in front of my face, licking along my skin like he once did. I reach up to trail my fingers along the same path, only to come up empty when my hand falls through the air.

Fuck, I try to say, but my lips won’t move, too heavy and too slow, my brain not working to catch up.

I giggle at the thought, and then, that makes me laugh louder—the sound of my own voice echoing in my head.

“Oh, Jesus, there you are.”

I turn around and nearly stumble to the ground, but Gabriel’s hands reach out and catch me just before I fall. I blink at him, my eyelids feeling heavier with each movement.

He mutters something under his breath, and I watch his curls bounce over his forehead as he adjusts his grip, and then, he’s beside me, and we’re walking… or at least, I think we’re walking.

“Woah,” I murmur. I stumble into the wall, reaching out and smacking my hand into it. I nearly hit someone in the face, but I don’t give a fuck. A bunch of resounding, “Heys” echo out.

“Sorry, my bad,” Gabe says, lips tightening into the fakest smile I’ve ever seen. I squint at him in the darkness of the room, smiling.

“You’re so funny,” I tell him, reaching out to poke my finger into his dimple. He grimaces and pulls my finger away, but he keeps my hand in his, using it as leverage as we reach the steps.

“I know, Peris. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, buddy. Oh, shit,” I stutter, staring down at the steps. They elongate, and as I close one eye, I watch as they warp and dance in front of my eyes. “That’s not good.”

That makes Gabe laugh. “No, I’m sure it’s not,” he drawls. “Let’s go.”

Taking it one step at a time, he helps me down the concrete steps, and I only almost fall a few times.

“When did walking get so hard?” I huff as I stare down at the cracks in the concrete.

“When you started drinking,” Gabe bites out, and his grip on my arm tightens.

“Rawr,” I giggle, lips curling inward. “Someone’s gwumpy.” I push my bottom lip out to mock him, and for some reason, it makes me trip over my feet.

“For fuck’s sake, Peris,” he grumbles, unable to catch me as I fall to the ground in a heap of tangled limbs. My hands scrape, and the jarring sensation sends ripples of pain up my freshly healed hand, and I cry out, tears springing to my eyes unbidden.

“Fuck!” I howl, dropping back and clutching my hand to my chest. I’m mostly numb, but fuck me, that fucking hurts.

“Guess you’ll never be drunk enough for that not to hurt, huh?” Gabriel says, not unkindly.

“Fuckin’ guess not,” I slur, cradling my hand to my chest as I sway. Swaying is nice. It gives me a nice breeze across my face.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“Sitting here?” I question, cracking open an eye to see his arms spread in front of me.

I scowl at them. “No, staying here,” I mutter and drop back.

“Oh, fuck, that’s nice.” The concrete is frigid against my fevered skin, and I soon forget about the throbbing in my hand because everything is nice and cold and dark behind my eyelids… at least, until it all starts to spin.

“Ugh, no…” I groan, clutching my head and curling onto my side.

“Come on, Peris. Let me take you back.”

“Don’t wanna.”

Feet scrape next to my head, making it pound. “Quit being petulant.”

“Dunno what that means.”

“Yes, you do. You’re not fucking stupid.”

“Feel kinda stupid.”

“Mhm, I’m sure you do. Let’s go.” And without giving me a choice, he reaches down and hoists me up with both arms under my arm pits. I grunt and groan as Gabe manhandles me. But… it’s also kinda hot.

“You’re kinda hot,” I tell him as I squint up at him, blinking through the streetlamp light glaring down at me.

He smiles, but it’s tight. “Yes, Peris, I know.”

I snort loudly. “Cocky.”

“Again, I know.” His eyes roll into the back of his head. Abel’s eyes used to do that when he’d come, and that was really hot…

I shake my head, needing that gone, and then, I get really dizzy and… “Why are we friends again?” I mutter as I sway on my feet.

“Because no one else would put up with your shit.”

“True. Imma terrible person,” I tell him truthfully.

It’s quiet as we walk. The street sounds busy as cars drive by and Gabe and I shuffle our way down the sidewalk until we reach his car. I groan in relief when I slide into his seat, head lulling against the headrest like it’s my own personal pillow.

“Do not pass out in my car, Peris. I cannot carry you again.”

Again? I think I ask, but he doesn’t answer, so I leave it be as he closes the door in my face after buckling me in. I remember buckling my runt in. The way the belt would line up perfectly with his studded belt, dull gray against silver, such a sharp contrast… just like him.

The thought makes me suck in a sharp breath, and I fucking choke on it.

“Peris… Peris!”

“What?”

“Are you okay?”

No. “Yep,” I slur, pressing my face against the cool glass, needing something, anything, to pull me away from the memories.

Even drunk, I can’t escape him.

“You’re not,” Gabe mutters, and I chuckle. “What?” he snaps.

“I know, Gabe,” I slur.

“You know what?”

“That m’not okay.”

“I’m fucking worried about you, Peris.” His fingers tighten on the wheel, similar to the way mine would when Abel would piss me off…

“That makes one of us.”

“Shut the fuck up; it’s not funny. If you keep going this way, you’re going to kill yourself or end up dead in a ditch somewhere.”

I don’t mean to laugh. Really, I don’t. But fuck. It starts off as a low chuckle, but it only gets louder as it starts to bubble in my chest.

“You’re laughing…” Gabe mutters to himself, shaking his head as he pulls up to a red light. He shakes his head, glancing over at me. “He’s fucking laughing.”

My laugh morphs into something darker, louder, and more high-pitched.

Something resembling a maniacal cackle—fitting for how inebriated I am.

Gabe’s eyes keep flashing at me as he drives onward, and I can tell he’s worried, but I can’t stop.

Even as my chest burns with the force of it and the lack of oxygen, needing more, needing less. Needing something else.

Him…

But I can’t have him.

Because he left me.

All alone.

“Fuck, Gabe,” I breathe out, wiping a tear from the corner of my eye. “You have no idea how much I hope that happens.”