Make Me Sin (Dark Gods #1)

Chapter 22

My thoughts, my time, even the beatings of my heart. Serena owns them all without lifting a single finger, and I blame myself for that. Yet, I can't bring myself to stop it. Obsessed, hungry, and like a fucking time bomb. That's how I feel all the time, and although I enjoy each one of these emotions as a part of being alive, I’ve never felt so out of touch with myself before.

It's like I'm becoming someone new by rediscovering my patience and also rediscovering a part of me that I thought forever lost—games. I used to love playing games, and I don't mean a social chessboard. I have a chessboard of my own, and I control all the pawns on it.

There are parts of my old life I forgot. They were taken away from me. But no matter how frustrated and confused that makes me sometimes, I also know some parts of me are better left behind. I'm not a good person, nor do I aim to be. I was the fucking antichrist, blind to see anything else except for my own plans. Too blind to observe the beauty around me. I could only see destruction. But not anymore, not now that I've discovered Serena. Now everything has a whole new meaning.The days no longer blur into the nights. They're now full of life, and the sparks of madness that tickle my body are aimed at doing more fun stuff than just killing. Like the night I returned from Chicago. I was fuming mad when I entered Serena's bedroom. I would have killed her for way less than not being able to keep her mouth shut. But touching her, lying next to her, and making her squirm in my arms gave me a whole new meaning to life.

I want her there, in my bed, every night for eternity, but I also want to take things slow. To enjoy discovering her, and at the same time to get her as obsessed with me as I am with her.

It felt like heaven digging my fingers inside her pussy; I can only imagine the pleasure of sheathing my cock deep within her core.But I’ll take my time, even though her sweet moans as I played with her clit are etched somewhere in the back of my mind. I can't believe she was so wet for me, even while dealing with all the wounds she had on her body.

I know I messed up that night. She was in too much pain for me to pay her that kind of visit. I might be a monster, but I don't want to see her suffer, at least not like that. She just didn’t give me any other choice. She kept throwing Nick into my face, and I’ll teach her the hard way that she can't compare me with any other man, living or dead.

But it was exactly her wounds that made me tone down, and play into her game of Sleeping Beauty. It was a sort of somnophilia, and I wouldn't mind trying that out with her someday.Just thinking about it makes my jaw clench, and my blood pressure rise. We have all the time in the world to explore, especially now that I don't plan on going anywhere else for a long while.

I had to take another trip to Chicago right after I paid Serena that little visit, but not before making sure she would accept the doctor's treatment and get better. I don't want her to die on me; not now when I'm planning to have so much fun with her.

My trip allowed me to give her the three days I promised. I spent almost a week in Chicago, making sure my brother didn't do anything stupid, and get himself killed. However, we didn't manage to track down Dalvacio, and I couldn't stay there forever. That doesn’t mean I won’t come back the second Surt has new information. I would do anything and everything for my brothers, the same way they would for me.

Still, I can't deny how anxious I was to get back to Serena. I don't even know how I've lasted through dinner. But if I had taken her straight into the bedroom, I wouldn't have stopped at just playing with her. It felt like I needed the time to fight back my instincts and act somehow civilized. Because judging my personality, I can say I'm on my best behavior with her. Only I know how much willpower it took to control myself after hearing her call my true name. But I needed that moment. I needed to hear my name leaving her lips again, the same way I needed to fulfill her fantasy. She called for me to touch her, and I came. She wanted me in her bed, and I came. She needed me in her life, and I came.

I stayed with her until the morning. I just couldn't bring myself to share a bed with her without giving in to the will of my cock. That's what made me choose the balcony—to try and calm down my raw instincts while I watched over my city. The labyrinth of the streets forming at my feet always helps me regain my composure, especially since I've seen it grow from dirt to greatness. Even if it's still a disputed battleground, it is rightfully mine.

I didn't have anything special planned for today. I was thinking about spending the night in the penthouse—maybe even playing a little hide and seek. But a call ruined my fun. I had trouble with an associate of mine. It always happens this way. Someone has to get greedy. They never listen, and they always end up dead. I set the rules and the piece of the pie that the dealers, bookies, and other traffickers are entitled to. Only so I can keep the fucking balance of things. But someone always has to cause me trouble, and I just recently found out that Jacob, one of my oldest associates, fucked things up by trying to expand his business.

Shit like this doesn't even bother me anymore. Right now, it just gives me an opportunity to show Serena what the world is really made of. She will learn, and I will be her teacher. She will learn about power, about balance, and eventually about who I really am. But I need time, and so does she. Information like this can be dangerous if misunderstood, so we are going to take baby steps in revealing more than meets the eye. Tonight was a great start, even though she might not have appreciated the lesson I had to give her. Not every piece of knowledge comes easily, and the most important ones often come with the destruction of one's soul.

I know she didn't enjoy seeing the pile of dead bodies. And I know she will probably not get the same satisfaction seeing the blood drain from your enemy as I do. We're not built the same, and that's okay with me. But I know I can make her much stronger than she is right now, even if it means taking the hard way to get there. I saw the contempt in her eyes tonight. She probably hates me now, but even if she doesn't know it, soon enough, she will hate to love me.

I see no other way. I don't want only her body. I need her soul.

That's why I didn't push things tonight. I could have kept her next to me the second we got back into the penthouse, but she was so shaken by things that she didn't even ask me what to do. She just ran straight to her room.

Despite the impulse I had to go after her and carry on with our night, I held back and spent the last couple of hours on the balcony in the company of a bottle of whiskey. It's not like alcohol has any effect on me. I will probably have to drink a whole cart to feel tipsy. But I find it easier to relax and clear my mind while I'm enjoying some liquor.

I suddenly hear noise coming from the kitchen. I wasn't expecting Serena to come out of her room again today, but it seems I'm in luck—my princess came out of her hiding spot to play.

Well, then, it's time for her to receive the royal treatment. Just when I thought the evening would be dull.

I place the glass I have in my hands on the outdoor table and walk back into the living room. I'm not wearing shoes, so I don't even need to sneak into the kitchen. She won't hear me anyway, and it makes things that much more fun. It also gives me a moment to watch her hips sway as she searches the cabinet for a glass. I let her find it, and as soon as she does, I take a few steps and stop right behind her.

She knows I'm here now. I can feel her body stiffen, and I bet she has no idea how much her anxiety turns me on. I am part pure evil, after all, and the chill running down her spine ignites the essence of my being. I was created with the power of destruction running through my veins. Even though my purpose may have changed during my existence, I still have the seed of ruin planted deep within me.

I can feel her breath becoming shallow, like if she kept quiet enough, maybe I would just leave. But I think she knows that's not going to happen. I'm here to stay. I am the only constant in her life.

“You went back to your room? I don't remember you asking my permission.” I'm merely toying with her, but I can't help myself from trying to send her into a panic.

She probably thought I wasn’t home. There’s no other way she would have left her room. But now that she's here with me, I can't let her go back to her hiding spot so easily. Not before I give her a goodnight kiss and ensure she has sweet dreams.

“I thought you were done with me for the night,” I murmur, unsure if I should turn to face him or just remain here, pretending to do something on the counter.

I can’t stop cursing myself for how stupid I was for leaving my room. I was certain Set wasn't here. He never is, and since he didn't say anything about other plans, I took the chance earlier and ran straight to my room. I even listened at the door for the last half an hour and didn't hear any kind of sound in the house. But I was so thirsty that I could have drunk toilet water. Now that I think about it, I should have done just that—considering the alternative.

“How can I ever be done with you?” His hard breath brushes through strands of my hair, warming my entire body, like it's being touched by the desert sun.

I don't even know what to do with the glass of orange juice I came to get. It's like I have brain freeze, and all I can focus on is the shape of his legs glued to my back. To make matters worse, I feel the strength of his palms moving on my hips. He's taking his time, and if things were different, I might have fallen into his game of seduction easily. Only his hands are stained with blood, no matter how many times he might wash them.

I'm thinking about how I should ignore him, and pretend I'm making a sandwich. But there's something about him that can’t be ignored. No matter how hard I try, I can't stop myself from connecting with him. It's something out of my control.

A throated groan escapes his lips. I can't shake the feeling I'll be his next meal. It's like I'm standing in the eye of the storm, one turn away from getting swept off my feet. And then it happens. One of his hands that he's holding on my hips whirls me around, and I come face-to-face with danger. His eyes are like the night sky, and the stars are the raw lust twinkling in his irises. I feel he’s deliberately trying to seduce me.

Despite my best attempts to fight it, I fear it’s working. He is perfection. There's something so maddening about him that makes my mind play tricks on me whenever he's around.I’m unveiled by his cologne, and that does something irremediable to my senses. I can't decide if it's good or bad, and I don't even have time to before his head slowly leans toward mine. I think he's going to kiss me, but just before he reaches my lips, he stops in front of them. He's doing much more than just kissing me. He's asking me to kiss him. He wants to take another part of me and call it his own. I don't even know if he's forcing me to do it or simply testing me to see if I would join my lips with his without him giving me the command.

I hesitate for a second, because no matter what I chose, it would be wrong. I don't want to kiss him... okay, maybe I do, but I don't want him to know it. I don't even want to know it—if that even makes sense. Not that anything makes sense anymore.

Before I can take any other action, a gasp escapes me. I didn't even realize I had been holding my breath for so long, but I think I was on the verge of passing out from doing it.

As if I called out to him, Set'sthumb comes to stroll against my lips. His index finger slowly follows, propping itself under my chin to lift my mouth just enough to brush against his.

He's testing me to see if I’ll kiss him, and I don't have the right answer to this question. Somehow, my lips begin moving against his, only to discover that he doesn't respond to me. I don't even know what to think anymore, but I feel the corner of his lips curl into a grin. He's playing with me to see if I’ll obey him, and I don't even know if I'm doing it because he wants me to or because I feel like it. The second option scares me far more than the first.

I break the kiss, but don't pull back from his lips. It feels like I’ve done something wrong, and maybe I’ve pressed one of his buttons again. Without warning, he grabs the back of my knees, then lifts me onto the countertop, while I can see that vicious grin again spreading on his lips.

“You look good enough to eat.” He breathes out the words like a hungry wolf, letting himself discover the nape of my neck. I'm beginning to think that's his sweet spot. But it's also my own because I feel my whole body begin to tingle, and I can't help myself, focusing just on the lips that are traveling my skin. He's not gentle; he takes his time consuming me like I'm some kind of dessert, leaving his mark on me for the whole world to know that I am his.

He's a possessive psycho, and I am seriously damaged for finding what he does attractive. I'm beginning to think I have man-issues, or maybe it's just because Nick didn't treat me right during our relationship. Because Set wanting me the way he does stirs something unknown within me. Maybe I need someone to make me the main pawn for once. I just don't think I'm going to like Set's ways.

I feel him slipping down my cleavage, as his palms cup my breasts from beneath while his thumbs viciously move on my nipples.

“Someone might walk in,” I can barely manage to speak, knowing that he has guards and sometimes even the maid comes into the house at night.

“They'llknow to stay away from the kitchen. Soon, they’ll hear you scream my name the second they enter the door.” He pushes the strap down one of my shoulders, then pulls down my nightie until his lips find one of my hardened nipples. I feel it disappearing roughly beneath his teeth, and the pulsating pain makes my knees squeeze his ribs between them.

I want to run... Nah, I don't really want to run. I want him to fuck me raw right here. But that wouldn't be morally correct, so I force myself to want to run. Not that I would ever do it. It just helps me deal with myself.

I'm probably in need of a change of panties by now, and I can barely get accustomed to the thought when I feel Set doing it for me. Well, he's not changing them. He's just ripping them away from me, and throwing them on the floor. I instinctively want to cover myself, but I have his torso between my thighs, and my legs can't move an inch. So, I do the next best thing I can and cover my naked core with my palms.

Though Set doesn't seem too pleased about it, “Do you want me to tie you? Or were you planning on touching yourself again, thinking of me?” he mutters, parting from my breasts to look me in the eyes and make sure I listen to what he's saying. “Put your hands here.” He grabs my wrists and props my palms on the counter. “And keep them there,” he warns me, propping his hands on both my knees, pushing them apart. “I want to drink you,” the words come out of his mouth with a vibration I’ve never heard before. So seductive that it causes a tingle in my clit so strong that the damn thing starts to jingle like it's Santa's bell.

Of all the things anyone ever said to me, I think this is the most sensual one. But never say never when it comes to Set, because I don't get to let the thought settle in before he whispers, “Raise one of your legs on the counter and keep them open for me, Ya’amar.”

I definitely don't want to do that, especially since I see him looking straight at my core like he's trying to peek directly into my soul. He might have seen me without my clothes before, but never like this. This is too intimate for me to handle.

Now I really want to run away, but I feel the hand he has on my knees moving slightly so I can follow his instructions.

Oh. My. Goooood... I see him disappearing between my legs, and his hot breath melts directly on my damp skin.

“I’ve never kneeled in front of a woman before, and this is the second time I'm doing it for you.” He pauses, like he's expecting me to give him some gratification because he offered me this privilege. And since I don't say anything, he decides to show me exactly how much of a privilege it really is. “Open wider,” he says, trailing his tongue straight above my clit.

I try to listen to him, but I don't think my body is responding to my commands any longer.

“Wider,” he barks, spanking my core with three fingers to get my attention.

Oh God, oh God, oh God! I got it, okay... I try to draw my leg higher, struggling to deal with the embarrassment.

I never noticed there was so much light in this room before. I'm definitely in need of an electricity outage.

Beads of sweat are gathering on my forehead, and he hasn't even begun. I feel like he's taking too long just looking at me. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I'm starting to wish he would do something, anything other than just stare at my naked pussy. Even if the only thing I really should be wishing right now is to be in my room, maybe even hiding under the bed.

His throat reverberates with a long groan. I don't know if it's disapproval or lust, but I know an action is about to follow. My heart shrinks in my chest, anxious for whatever happens next.

He touches me, and I'm about to scream, I'm on the edge, and he's a fingertip away from pushing me over it. Or maybe like two fingertips, because I feel him probing at my entrance, spreading my lips apart with his fingers to make room for his tongue to plunge inside me.

I want to remain silent, but the shivers in my body seem to transpose into my voice. And I can't help myself from letting out another loud gasp.

Ugh, I don't want him to think I'm enjoying this. Because I am... too much, I might add. He's doing things with his tongue I never even thought possible, swirling against my skin with tornado-like circles, then dipping inside to make my inner walls shiver.

I don't want him to hear my panting breath, and I'm trying to be as quiet as a mouse, although the way he suckles my clit deep between his lips gets me to make sounds I didn't think I had in me. And then there are those damn fingers, spreading me so much it almost hurts, so he can go explore every nervous bundle inside me with his Venom-like tongue. It's a different kind of pain—the kind of pain you know you want more of, the pain you want to explore to its limits, knowing that it can bring unmatched pleasure. His free hand digs into my thighs, and I know there will be violet marks there in the morning. At this point, I don’t even think I care. He's doing things to me no man ever has, and I'm not just talking about serving my pussy as the finest meal. When Nick used to do it, I could have easily done my nails in the meantime. Well, now I'm seconds away from ripping my nails off from how hard I'm clenching onto the countertop.

The curls and swirls—I don't even know what else he's doing down there—are building into something I don't think I can handle. There's a molten heat wave descending from the pit of my stomach down to my slit, and straight to where the tip of his tongue dances. I feel like I'm going to lose balance at any moment and melt down on the counter. And the devil between my legs knows it. He suddenly stops to look up at me like he wants to see the pleasure he ignites within me. And I don't think I can wipe it off my face. I'm all too obvious now. I believe he can read me like a book, and that's what he's doing right now. “You're enjoying this much more than you want to. I think you enjoy me much more than you want to.” His tongue licks his upper lip in slow motion, from the corner to the center, letting me know that he's enjoying me as well. Because the next second, he disappears again to play with my core. And this time is much more vicious than before.That tongue-piercing of his begins to slowly grind on my nub, slaking me of all powers as I hear his groans reverberating against my flesh.

This man is not from this earth. He can't be because what he's doing down there is out of this world. Still, I can't help myself from letting his words infiltrate the back of my mind. I'm enjoying him much more than I want to, and this doesn't come with ease, but raises my concern. It's like sometimes I'm drifting so far away, that I don't even know what's real anymore. There are moments when he's building a fantasy, which I foolishly tend to believe, and then there are moments when I get back to reality and understand that this man can only build nightmares.

Even though I indirectly agreed to all of this, it doesn't mean he's not keeping me captive. And one thing I'm convinced of, he'll never let me leave, at least not alive. I’m a game to him, and he will get bored with me. I don’t want to learn what happens when he does. I've seen him kill too many people to stick around until I’ll be of no use to him.

The feeling of fear never left my body. It never does when I'm around him, but now it seems to intensify the more I think of the days to come. Still, he's doing things to me that make me lose all control. His tongue goes so deep inside me that I think it's going to hit my G spot. I know that's not possible, but I'm just not that convinced anymore when it comes to him. There's that explosive tingle in my lower belly, so strong that it makes my head lean on the cabinet behind me. My eyes open and close as I'm taking in everything he's giving. It’s too soon for me to reach ecstasy, but little do I know it's actually hell I'm heading to.

My eyes stumble on the kitchen knife holder that's just a few feet away on the counter. And suddenly, everything seems wrong. The reactions of my body, the killer who thinks physical pleasure can replace everything else that's morally wrong with him, even the fact that I didn't put up a fight in the first place.

I don't want to give him power over me. He already has enough, and that's going to get me killed.Maybe my body is reacting to him, but I don't want him between my legs. I don't even want him in the same room with me; he scares me to death, and I realize that there's only one way out of here.

It's me or him. And he already made me a killer.

I don't want to do this. I'm too scared to do this. But I also don't seem to have any other choice.This is my only way out, and probably my last chance of ever escaping this place. My last chance of escaping Set—the killer.

I have to be fast enough to grab the knife, and even though it's a little out of my reach, I think I can do it without him noticing. I can’t believe I'm even thinking about this. I don’t want to take someone's life, but I'm only doing it to save my own.

I feel like I'm going to vomit from the thought, but I know he doesn't notice. He's focused on tasting every last inch of my pussy, and my body still seems to be responding.

It's now or never. I'm never going to get another opportunity like this. I take a deep breath, plunge into the unknown, and bring my hand closer to the knife holder. There are half a dozen knives here, and I only need one. Still, I don't rush. I don't want to knock it over. And I don't want him to notice either.

I let out a moan, and I feel him speeding up his pace. He wants to get me over the edge. But he already pushed me over the edge. I steal another glance at him. He's focused enough not to notice what I'm doing.

Fuck... this is it.

I grab the first knife I can and pull it out of the holder, but before I get to bury it in the back of his head, I feel something grabbing my wrist.