Chapter 70
SEVENTY
NOTHING AT ALL - LaLion
What a load of bullshit. Dakota can take whoever he wants to the wedding. Fuck what his parents think. Especially, fuck what his dad thinks.
In fact, fuck his dad.
“I’ll kill him,” I offer, but the words feel a little bit hollow as soon as they leave my mouth. Killing sounds… exhausting, especially without Buffalo. Plus, I still feel like death. I could use a fucking drink.
Logan snaps his gaze over to me. “No.”
I shrug.
Dakota just gives me a wide-eyed look.
“Fine… I’ll just kiss you. In front of him.” Then I mutter, “And kill the pedo later.” Because it’s not fair that Dakota has to face his abuser. And the only way I can think to make it better is by killing him.
The room is silent, and I look up to see Dakota staring at me, pale. He looks stricken. “Y-y-y-ou…know?”
Know what? I glance between Dakota and Logan. Dakota looks scared.
Oh fuck. Oh fuck . Dakota didn’t tell me his dad was a pedophile. It was Logan who told me that. I glance at Logan, who winces.
“W-w-w-w-” Dakota gets stuck, then says, “Wait. You know?”
I swallow harshly.
“Kota, I uh…” Logan says. “When I was researching Apex and your dad, I ran across your file.”
Silence. It’s a painful silence. I didn’t realize that Dakota didn’t know that we knew. Fuck, this is the worst.
“Sorry,” I say.
Dakota’s pale. “I’m gonna… I need to shower.” He looks like he’s going to be sick.
“Do you need Zofran?” I look around for my meds, and Logan pulls them out of his pocket.
“Here.”
Dakota barely shakes his head.
“Kota, I’m sorry.” Logan starts to reach out toward Dakota, then pauses. “We don’t think less of you. What he did was fucked up, and he deserves the worst of the worst.”
Dakota just shakes his head and then moves down the hall. The defeated way he’s walking makes me mad. This isn’t fair. It’s not fucking fair.
As soon as he’s gone, I whirl on Logan. “We have to kill him.”
Logan sighs, still gripping the meds. His knuckles have gone white. “It doesn’t work like that. His dad is high up in Apex.”
“So what?” My voice is rising. I have no control. Once again, I have no control.
Logan reaches out, grabbing my shoulders and pulling me to him. He crushes me against him in a hug, squeezing so tight I’m stuck.
“We have to kill him!” The words just feel like a rehearsed script. I struggle, but Logan just holds me still.
“You’re still sick, and to kill someone that high up, we need resources. We need an in.”
“So we’ll find one.” I’m already out of breath. Which is fucking scary. I’ve never been this weak. “We’ll use Cal and Vox.”
“Ronan.” Logan puts his nose in my hair. “The guys we shot?”
I’m scrambling. “They shot at us first! Dakota can take us to the wedding! We’ll just… punch his dad in the face if he says anything.”
“You can’t force someone to come out, Ronan.”
Fuck. I know this. I’m still not out to my own parents. Or anyone, for that matter.
I sag in defeat, and Logan catches my weight. He just holds me, breathing into my hair. “I’m sorry.”
Fuck. I want a drink. I want to make it all better. I don’t want to feel like this.
But I do. Partially because I don’t have a choice, and Logan won’t let me go, and partially because I’m just fucking exhausted. I sit there, allowing Logan to hold me, just sitting there. Just… feeling.
And fuck. It sucks. But Logan breathes into my hair and rubs my arms. Reminding me that I’m not alone. That someone else is here, too. That whatever I have to face, I won’t face it alone.
And then I realize who is alone.
Dakota.