Chapter Nine
After Rocco and Gunner take off to do God only knows what, I walk back inside Dirty Diamonds to find Tex and Gray at each other’s throats.
“It’s just one fucking beer,” Gray fumes, balling his hands into fists.
“And it was just one fucking no,” Tex smirks. “You’re not old enough to drink, boy. And I’m not fucking serving you.”
Sasha and Alana are still hanging out at the bar, and judging by their cackles they’ve had quite a few drinks.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Gray roars, taking a step closer to Tex.
The bartender shakes his head. “Don’t even think about it, boy. It won’t end well for you.”
As I look at Gray, like really look at him, it hits me what he needs, and it’s definitely not alcohol. He needs an outlet, a place where he can let out the angsty and toxic energy inside him. I should know. That’s how I felt when I was locked up, and it’s the reason I took up kickboxing.
Rounding the bar, I hip-bump Tex out of the way, and glare at Gray. “That’s no way to speak to people,” I dutifully say.
“What’s it to you?” Gray spits, glaring back.
Rolling my eyes, I point at the door. “Let’s go.” When he just stands there, I add. “You can come with me willingly, or I’ll drag your ass out of here. It’s your choice, but believe me, you’re no match for me.”
Predictably, he laughs mockingly at me, which is what I was hoping for.
“I don’t think so. I like Rocco, and he’d never forgive me if I hurt you,” he smarts.
Tex looks at Gray and bursts into laughter. “Oh, that’s right. You haven’t seen her fight. Believe me, boy. You’re no match for her.”
Gray straightens and puffs out his chest. “Make me,” he challenges.
I smile sweetly at him. “And here I thought you’d never ask.” Before he can retort, I jump onto the bar. “Let’s dance.”
Angling my leg so the nose of my shoe connects, and not the point of the heel, I kick Gray in the arm. I don’t use all my power since I’m not actually trying to hurt him, only provoke him into letting go.
“You fucking bitch!” he shouts as I leap off the bar and onto the floor next to him. Then he shakes his head. “I’m not going to fucking fight you.”
“Why not?” I argue. “Scared to lose to a woman?”
I’m absentmindedly aware that Cain’s joined us, and that he, Sasha, Alana, and Tex are all placing bets on who’s going to win. I hope Gray hears it, just as I hope it’s going to rile him up.
He lets out an angry growl, and raises his fist, sending it in my direction. I quickly lift my arm to block him, which I manage just in time. But fuck me, he has a mean right hook.
“Again,” I encourage him. “Hit me like you really fucking mean it.”
He does, and I block all but one punch. That one lands on my tit.
“That’s dirty,” Sasha calls out.
“Foul play,” Alana agrees, laughter palpable in her voice. “No tit punching.”
After kicking Gray back, I quickly look over at the women and grin at them. But since I can’t afford to remain distracted, I turn back to Gray and discreetly force him toward the door as I keep moving closer to him.
It takes a few more kicks and punches, but we eventually reach the door that’s being held open by the bouncer.
“I win,” I declare as I force him to move one foot out the door. “So now you’re coming with me.”
Without waiting for his reply, I push him all the way out and slam the door behind us with the bouncer inside. We don’t need prying eyes for what I have in mind.
“Got a smoke?” I ask, only a little surprised when he pulls a pack and a lighter from his jeans pocket. “Thanks.”
I take it and light it, inhaling deeply as I watch him fumble to light one for himself. Damn, his hands are shaking badly, and I know it’s anger that’s at the forefront of his mind. He’s probably angry with me, but more importantly, he seems angry at the world.
“So what’s your damage?” I ask as I purse my lips and create a circle of the smoke I’m exhaling.
“My damage?” he barks, looking at me like I’m out of my mind.
I nod. “Why are you so angry? And honestly, why do you look homeless? Have they not given you a place to stay?”
Gray spits on the ground. “What’s your fucking damage? And why do you walk around looking like a trashy whore?”
Though his words sting, I shrug. I had a dig at him first and fair is fair. “My damage is my family,” I admit. “They raised me to be the perfect cum dumpster, and then they sold me to Rocco.”
“W-what?” he stutters, his eyes wide like he either can’t believe my words or that I’m telling him.
I don’t know why, but I feel an odd kinship to Gray. I recognize his anger, and that damaging attitude. But I don’t want him to end up doing something he can’t take back, something he’ll regret for the rest of his life.
“Why are you telling me that?”
Shrugging, I admit, “I asked you first, but that hardly seems fair if I don’t want to answer myself.”
He looks at me so long I’m close to giving up. Then he lights up another cigarette and leans back against the wall.
“I killed my dad,” he admits.
“Me too,” I offer. “But you don’t sound like you enjoyed it as much as I did.”
He lets out a humorless laugh. “It was an accident, and I guess I didn’t really kill him. I just… it was my actions that got him killed.”
“Was he a good man?” I ask.
Gray nods. “I think so. I mean,” he gestures to the building we’re leaning against. “No one here is a good person. And my dad was mixed up with Dante. But they don’t kill innocent people.”
“Only buy them and marry them,” I spit before I can stop myself.
Shit! I didn’t mean for that to come out.
Hmm, so maybe Gray isn’t the only one in desperate need of a heart-to-heart. As much as I’m warming up to Rocco, that’s still a sore spot. I’m not trying to rewrite the past, what’s done is done, and a part of me likes that he’s my husband. But I’ve yet to understand it, and maybe that’s something I really need.
“How much do you know about what’s going on here?” Gray asks.
While he throws the butt of his cigarette on the ground and uses his shoe to stub it out, I consider his question. Fact is that I barely know anything, and that’s partly my fault. I haven’t asked any questions.
“That’s a topic for another day,” I say, wanting us to stay on track. “Where’s your mom?”
He barks out another laugh. “Busy turning tricks, spreading her legs for any man who’ll pay her.”
I recognize the bitterness in his tone, and it makes me even more adamant that I need to help him before it becomes a toxin running so deep it infiltrates his bloodstream.
“At least she’s doing it herself and not selling you for her own selfish gain,” I say flippantly. “But tell me something, Gray. Do you think the people here are… I don’t know… good people?”
He rolls his eyes. “I already told you they’re not good people,” he snaps.
Okay, yes, he did say that. But that’s not what I mean, and I explain that. “Are they good to you? Do they take care of you and keep you safe?”
“I’m sixteen, I don’t need anyone to fucking take care of me.”
I arch my brow. “Is that so? Then I ask you again, why do you look homeless instead of taking pride in your appearance?”
“What’s it to you?” Gray sneers. “You’re not my mom.”
His words remind me of my mom’s visit a few days ago. The side of my face throbs as I recall seeing Mateo earlier that evening as well.
Both of them threatened me, but it’s my mom’s threat that makes me shudder. I don’t know how to describe the look in her eyes. It was evil, sure. But it was also so much more. Like she believed every word she spoke.
The woman that came to Rocco’s house is so different from the sniveling, pathetic mess I spared on the church floor three years ago. I didn’t pull the trigger back then, because she wasn’t the bigger evil. And, if I’m honest, I wanted her to live with her mistakes. But that woman wasn’t the same one who came to buy me back.
With a shake of my head, I will my mind to stay on track instead of thinking about my deceitful mom.
I repeat my question to Gray, not looking.
He kicks off the wall and turns toward me, stabbing a finger in my direction. “Because it doesn’t fucking matter,” he roars. “I failed my dad, and you don’t know what that feels like. Rumor has it you willingly pulled the trigger, and someone did that to my dad because of me. Do you have any idea what that’s like?”
“No,” I say as I shake my head. “I don’t. But I know what it’s like to be so angry with the world you’d rather burn it down than be in it. And I know what it’s like to make yourself a victim.”
“I am a fucking victim,” he shouts.
Snorting, I throw my hands out to the side. “We’re all fucking victims,” I bite. “We don’t have to act like it. We can become stronger and get to a place where we’re living instead of just surviving.”
I don’t need to know everyone’s story to know my words are true. Whether it’s big or small, we’re all victims of one thing or another.
The door swings open, stopping Gray from saying whatever he was going to, and the bouncer comes back out.
“You two need to move it along,” he says as he attaches the door to the wall so it’s wide open. “I need to get back to my post.”
I look up at the sky that’s darkened with thunder clouds. None of them have broken yet, so I’ll take that as a sign to stay outside for as long as it takes.
With a nod, I drag Gray around to the back entrance where we sit down on the pavement.
“You know,” I say when it becomes clear he’s not going to speak. “My mom once told me that my only option in life was to ‘fake it until you make it’.” I make air quotes around the six damning words. “And as much as I hate her, I think that’s true.”
To my surprise, Gray nods thoughtfully, like he’s actually considering my words. “I don’t know where to start,” he admits. “I’m so fucking angry at her, at myself, and my dad. But mostly at myself.”
“Do you ever start fights just to blow off steam?” I ask, and when he confirms my suspicion, I carry on. “I did that a lot my first six months in juvie. Everyone assumes I did it to be the top bitch, and sure, that was the result. But mostly I needed to hurt someone else so my own pain felt less.”
He runs a hand through his messy waves and tilts his head back. “So how the fuck do I fake it?”
“That’s easy!” I exclaim. “Get your fucking appearance under control. That’s step one. Because if you look better, people will assume you feel better. It’s basically step one in the fake-it-until-you-make-it program.”
The sound of rumbling engines reaches us, and I turn to look as several bikes drive around the building, presumably to park near the entrance. None of the riders spare us any glances, they’re all looking ahead.
“Know who they are?” I ask.
As Gray looks at the bikers, he tenses. “Trouble,” he sneers. “They’re nomads who have banded together and created their own club.”
He barely manages to finish his sentence before his phone rings, and I watch as he answers.
“Rocco,” he says as a way of greeting.
There’s some chatter on the other end, but I can’t hear it.
“Yeah, she’s here with me. Why?”
Gray’s dark eyes find mine, and he says, “Rocco wants me to get you out of here.”
I scrunch my face in confusion, but before I can answer, there’s a loud scream and I leap to my feet.
“Gotta go, man. Hurry up.” With those words, Gray ends the call.
I’m not aware I’m throwing open the back door until Gray wraps his arm around me and pulls me back.
“Sorry, can’t let you in there. Rocco wants you far away.”
Stomping on his foot, I spin around and bare my teeth. “Don’t fucking touch me,” I hiss. “And I’m not leaving.”
“Cara!”
I know from the urgency in his voice that he’s trying to do the right thing, and I appreciate that. Not that it’ll change my mind.
“We’ll tell Rocco you tried,” I say. “But I’m not leaving when someone needs help.”
I’ve never been a do-gooder, so I don’t know why it’s so important for me to stay. Maybe it’s because a small part of me likes it here. With no time to stand around and self reflect, I continue down the dark passage.
As we reach the end of the dark hallway, we’re greeted by bottles being thrown, and I narrowly miss one being thrown in our direction.
“Fuck!” Gray hisses.
We both duck in time, but one of the Diamonds isn’t as lucky and a bottle hits her right in the face.
I watch from the shadows as Sasha storms to her defense, helping her up from the floor and over toward the door leading into the shower and changing rooms.
“Hey!” one of the nomads calls out. “Where the fuck’s the rest of your pussy? We didn’t come here for bitches who whine about being touched.”
His fingers dig into the round ass of one of the dancers, who winces like he’s hurting her.
Motherfucker.
“Keep your hands to yourself!” Tex’s voice rings out, and the rowdy laughter from the nomads isn’t enough to drown out the sound of his shotgun being loaded. “Now!”
“Where’s Cain?” I whisper to Gray.
I don’t understand why the man in charge isn’t out there trying to get rid of the scum.
“Dunno,” Gray replied. “He could be digging his way to China, or getting ready to burn the building down with them inside.”
Huh? Neither of those options ring true, but I get the point Gray’s making. And the fact that Tex is alone with the Diamonds out there does make it seem like Cain’s up to something.
“Well, what if we want a specific Diamond?” A mean-looking nomad asks. “Do you fuckers take requests?”
One of the Diamonds clears her throat. “Of course we do. What’s your pleasure?”
“Not you,” he sneers as he backhands her. “We want the one with a teardrop tattoo.”
The room falls silent.
I look at Gray, who’s looking at me, and I can see the cogs turning in his head. Right now he has to be thinking the same thing as me; why would they want me?
“Not happening,” Tex snaps. “Get the fuck out of here. Now.”
The nomads shake their heads, menacing grins splitting their faces.
“We like it here,” a big, burly guy sneers.
As soon as the words are out of his mouth, the stage light changes to an eerie red, and smoke erupts from the stage. There’s so much it only takes seconds until it’s enveloping most of the room, making it impossible to see through it.
“Welcome to the party!” Cain’s voice rings out from every corner of the room.
A gunshot sounds and a body falls to the ground.
“Get down,” Gray hisses.
Even though he can’t see me, I shake my head. Narrowing my eyes, I try to see through the smoke, and I’m pretty sure I see some of the women run scared.
Another gunshot, and this time it’s followed by high-pitched screams.
“Cara!” My head jerks in the direction of the deep, booming voice. “We have a message for you from your mom.”
“What is it?” I shout back, unable to help myself.
“For every day you refuse to return to her, someone from your new life will die.”
I see red as a woman lets out a bloodcurdling scream. Before Gray can stop me, I run into the room, not stopping until I collide with a body. Up close it’s easy to see it isn’t someone I’ve seen before, meaning it must be one of the nomads.
“Estás muerto,” I scream as I kick him in the gut.
“You can’t kill me little girl,” he wheezes, doubling over as I kick him a second time.
Someone tackles me to the ground, and I flail my arms and buck as his crushing weight descends on me. He tangles his fingers into my hair and slams my head against the floor. I cry out, but don’t stop struggling despite my vision swimming.
More screaming, and at least one more body hits the ground. The smoke is still too thick to see properly, but I have a feeling the Diamonds aren’t fairing well. Feeling an unfamiliar need to help, or maybe it’s punishment I want to dole out, I continue to try to land punches, but none of them stop the guy on top of me.
Luckily, someone barges into him, and the second he’s unfocused, I buck again, unseating him. Using all my strength and training, I roll to my side and wrap my legs around him. Reaching for my shoe, I slip it off and use it as a weapon.
The guy laughs, not even realizing his end is fucking near.
“I told you what would happen,” I hiss at the same time as I ram the stiletto heel into his neck.
I try not to cringe at the sound, but really, it’s disgusting. So is the way he gasps, unable to form words.
Not wasting time, I leap off the ground and make my way toward the area I think the women are hiding. On my way I come across Cain, who’s laughing victoriously as he swings his bat into the head of one of the nomads.
“Fancy seeing you here,” he says to me.
“Fucking loco,” I mumble. But then I remember where I’m headed. “Are the Diamonds okay?”
Cain shrugs. “No idea. But I fucking hope so.”
The murderous glint in his eyes is downright psychopathic when paired with the joker-like smile he’s sporting.
Before I can move again, Cain holds his hand out to stop me. “Here,” he hands me a knife. “Something tells me you’re good with one of those. So give them hell and don’t let them fucking capture you. I’d hate to kill you for doing something as stupid as getting yourself womannapped.”
Taking the blade, I nod. “Later, loco,” I say.
Leaving Cain, I continue my search for the Diamonds. By now, their screams are coming from all directions, and I’m unsure where to go.
More gunshots ring out, but this time no one falls to the floor.
I narrowly manage to escape a fist swinging in my direction, but I’m not quick enough to see the second hand coming out, wrapping around my throat.
“Gotcha!”