Malone's Fate (Haven, Texas Book 14)

Chapter 18

Breathe through the pain.

Don’t let it get the best of you.

Last night, an older doctor with kind eyes had checked her over. He’d wanted her to get an x-ray of her side, but she’d assured him that she knew what a broken rib felt like and that it was only bruised.

Doc had given her a horrified look that she’d pretended not to see. She didn’t want to answer questions about how she knew what a broken rib felt like.

But the painkillers she’d taken before her shift this morning were wearing off. Her head was thumping, her wrist ached, and every time she moved, her side let her know that it wasn’t impressed.

But while she’d thought that she could get through anything, could push aside any pain, she had never worked a full-on shift at a diner after suffering a blow to the ribs, as well as a bruised and swollen wrist.

Thankfully, she’d managed to leave this morning before Opal or Ryleigh woke up and saw her. She just hoped they didn’t go out today and hear about the brawl.

Well, Ryleigh wouldn’t be. She still wasn’t feeling well.

Worry filled Lilac. Ryleigh didn’t have the best constitution. She often got bronchitis during winter. But it wasn’t winter. Surely, she’d feel better soon. Right?

The door dinged as someone entered, and she forced herself to move to the front of the diner to direct them to a seat. Well, there weren’t any tables or booths left. So, hopefully, they were okay sitting at the bar. Most of the locals didn’t mind, but there were still a few people here for the stock sale who’d gotten huffy when they’d seen how packed the place was.

She froze as she saw who was standing there, staring at her.

He grew tense as his gaze ran over her body. She wore dark yoga pants and a long-sleeved white top with the diner’s name on the back. A small apron was around her middle. She’d covered up her wrist as much as she could with the sleeves.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he boomed.

Everyone stopped talking. And she meant everyone.

Instant. Silence.

She could feel her cheeks growing heated as she looked around.

Peggy walked over from out the back. “I don’t want no trouble, Tanner Malone. This isn’t Dirty Delights.”

“That’s the asshole that attacked Ronny last night.” A guy stood up from a booth.

Oh. Shit.

She hadn’t recognized him from last night, but perhaps he’d been there. Or just heard about it.

Either way, she tensed.

“He touched a woman without her permission. Hurt her. You got a problem with me dealing with him? Do you like to touch and hurt women too?” Tanner asked the guy.

The other guy started to bluster, his face growing red and then purple as people glared at him. Finally, his friends pulled him back into his seat. By this time, her heart was racing, and she couldn’t seem to catch her breath.

“Lilac? Lilac, breathe, baby.”

She jumped as she realized that Tanner was somehow standing right in front of her. How had he gotten there so fast? She tried to step back, but he placed his hands on her hips, keeping her still.

“L-let me go,” she whispered, aware that people were still too quiet. They were watching them . . . waiting for a show.

Well, she was tired of being a fucking spectacle.

“Never,” he said in a low voice.

She jolted at that word. It was said calmly, but in a voice that brooked no hesitation. There was weight to that word that shouldn’t be there.

Because he had no right to her. No right to think he could hold onto her.

“Let me go. I’m working.”

“You don’t work here.” His gaze was narrowed.

“Yes, I do.”

What the hell? Why did he think he got to tell her anything about her life? She was the one living it.

“You work at Dirty Delights. Or are you giving that up?”

“It’s not any of your business, Tanner.” She attempted to move away again, shocked when he let her.

But even more stunned that she felt disappointed. What was wrong with her? She didn’t want him to touch her. Didn’t want him near her.

Liar.

“It will be,” he said as she turned away. “You’re going to be my business, Lilac.”

Fuck.

She was trembling as she headed to the counter to pick up an order. She tried not to look over at him, to see those broad shoulders as he sat at the bar, greeting everybody who spoke to him.

Everyone seemed to know him. And like him.

Well, except for the people sitting in the booth of the guy who’d spoken out earlier. And their meals had just come up. Great.

She walked over with their food. The guy who had spoken up sneered at her. “When you want a real man, doll, you come to us. Not to that little cunt.”

She dropped their plates on the table and glared at the asshole. “A real man? Really? Well, where is one? Because I certainly don’t see one sitting at this table. All I see is a bunch of little boys with equally small appendages.”

As the asshole stood up, an arm suddenly wrapped around her from behind. “Get behind me, baby. Now.” He shoved her behind him, making her wince as pain shot up her side.

“Right. That’s it. All of you are leaving.” Peggy walked up and glared at the men in the booth.

Great. She’d just gotten this job. And now she was probably getting fired. Why did this keep happening to her? What was wrong with her?

Or maybe it’s not you. It’s him. This is all Tanner’s fault.

With that thought in mind, she pinched his side while the guys at the booth all complained. Loudly.

But Peggy was standing firm, so they started shuffling out. Tanner turned to give them his back while he crowded her out of the way. One of the guys stopped and she saw him raise his arm. With a scream, she shoved Tanner, making him stumble in surprise and the guy’s fist missed where he’d been aiming—likely at Tanner’s kidney.

Tanner turned, but a couple of other guys got up from their tables and hustled the asshole out. Tanner glared after them, clearly angry, his hands in fists.

She should have been scared of him. She’d grown up with a man who’d gotten angry at the drop of a hat. And who had enjoyed turning that anger on other people, blaming them, hurting them.

“Hey, Lilac. It’s all right. They’re gone. They won’t hurt you.” Putting his arm around her, he led her out the back.

“You shouldn’t be here. This is staff only.”

“Peggy won’t care that I’m here. She won’t kick me out.”

“Maybe not.” It was obvious that he was well-liked. “But she might fire me. Hell, there’s no might about it. After all the issues I’ve just caused, I’m definitely getting fired.” She placed her hand over her chest as she heaved for breath.

“Whoa. Take a deep breath for me. Come on, baby. Just breathe.”

“I can’t . . . I can’t do this anymore. I don’t know how to do this anymore.”

“Do what, baby?”

She shook her head. She couldn’t be taken in by his sweet tone, by him calling her baby. He didn’t want her . . . definitely wouldn’t want her if he knew it all.

Her life was a complete and utter clusterfuck.

“I’m going to get fired . . . I . . . I need this job.”

“Hey, no one is firing you. Come on.” He took her hand and placed it on his chest. “Breathe in. Then out. Follow me. In, one, two. Hold, one, two. Out, one, two. That’s it. I want you to do it again.”

The dominance in his tone cut through her panic. It lent her strength and she found herself following his words until the panic started to fade away.

She could barely keep herself up anymore though. How long could a person go without proper sleep and food?

Had she finally found the limit of her endurance?

Tanner drew her over to a bench and sat her down. He crouched in front of her, placing his warm hands on her thighs.

“Did you take this job because of last night? Are you quitting Dirty Delights? I think that’s smart. It’s safer to work here.”

“I’m still working there,” she muttered without thinking. She had to get back out into the diner. She wasn’t scheduled for a break yet.

“Wait. You’ve got two jobs?” He was staring at her like that was the weirdest thing he’d ever heard.

“Yes. Why? A lot of people have two jobs.”

“Yes . . . but . . . you’re clearly already exhausted. You’ve got dark marks under your eyes. You’re pale. You can’t keep pushing yourself like this or you’re going to collapse.”

It wasn’t anything that she hadn’t already thought. But she wasn’t letting herself linger on those thoughts. Because then she’d start to believe them.

And she couldn’t afford to do that. She had to keep pushing forward.

“I’m fine.” She attempted to stand, but he refused to move. “Tanner, get out of my way.”

“I’m not moving until you tell me what the fuck is going on. Why are you so thin? Why are you working two jobs? You can’t tell me that Linc is charging you rent. He better fucking not be, or I’ll have words with him.” His face grew dark.

She slapped his shoulder. Sharp pain stabbed her wrist.

Fuck.

“Tanner, you cannot get angry like this. You can’t just step in all the time to rescue me. Especially when I don’t need it.”

“Of course you need it.”

“I don’t. Linc has been nothing but good to me. And you are not going to go have words with him or anything else!” She pointed a finger at him. He lightly grabbed it, tugging her hand toward him.

Too late, she realized what he was doing as he pushed back her sleeve to look at her wrist.

“This is why you need me. Look at your wrist.”

“It’s fine.” She didn’t want to look at it. Seeing it bruised and swollen was going to trigger her.

Every bruise Stefan had put on her was ingrained on her brain. They were memories she didn’t wish to dig up.

“It’s not fucking fine. No one should put a hand on you like this. No one should hurt you.”

“You’re touching me right now.”

She knew it was a low blow because his touch was nothing like that asshole from last night.

He grew pale and drew back, giving her the space she wanted.

Well, what she’d told herself she wanted.

She took in a sharp breath.

“Are you scared of me, Lilac?”

Talk about déjà vu. He’d asked her that same question the night they’d had sex in the hotel room.

A small bark of laughter escaped her. It had a slightly hysterical sound to it. “If I were smart, I would be. A smart woman would stay well away from you, Tanner Malone.”

But she wasn’t smart. She was so freaking dumb. Because she didn’t want him to stop touching her. She wanted more. All of the touches. The kisses. The looks.

The possessiveness.

“Do you want me to stay away from you, Lilac?”

“Yes.” She forced the word out. Watching as he shut down. This was it. He was going to storm out of here. Tanner could be so damn sweet and kind and caring.

But he had a temper as well. That was clear.

Besides, he’d told her that what they’d had was just a fling. God, that had hurt.

“I see. Is it Linc?”

“Is what Linc?” she asked, confused.

“Is he the reason you want me to stay away from you?” he asked, looking ill. “You want Linc?”

Shock filled her. “What? No! Why would you think that?”

“You’re living with him, and he seems protective of you. So, I was wondering . . . is it him? Or maybe it’s me. You’re just not into me anymore?”

God. She should tell him yes. That she wasn’t into him anymore. But she lie to him. Sometimes, it felt like her entire life was a lie.

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

He made a scoffing noise. “That’s such a cop-out.”

“It’s not,” she told him, grabbing his hand to try and emphasize her point. “I’m trouble, Tanner. You don’t want to be near me. I’ll just . . . I’ll just bring all of my bad luck to you. There are things you don’t know . . .”

“Then tell me.” He leaned forward, placing his hands on the bench on either side of her.

“You don’t want to be involved in my life, Tanner. It’s a mess.” Tears dripped down her face. What would it be like to have someone to lean on? To help her? Of course, she had Opal and Ryleigh. But Ryleigh was fragile. She was always so eager to believe the best in everyone that Lilac felt like she had to protect her.

And Opal? She’d had such an awful life, even worse than what Lilac had experienced. She just wanted to make things better for her. To not burden her further.

Lilac wanted to take care of them . . . but that meant everything fell on her. And she wasn’t coping.

At all.

“Lilac. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I ghosted you. I left without a word. Then reappeared and I’ve caused so many issues since. Why would you care about my life and what I’ve been through? I was just a fling, remember?”

He closed his eyes. “I might have said that in the heat of the moment, all right? I didn’t actually mean it.”

He didn’t?

“I care about you, Lilac. And as much as I’ve tried, I haven’t been able to forget you. But I need to know what is going on with you. Why you left. Why you’ve shown up here now. With a baby.”

Had he wanted to hurt her? She couldn’t blame him for that. Or for wanting an explanation.

“I know you wanted me. You couldn’t fake that,” he said. “And I think you want me still.”

She sat there, frozen. She couldn’t deny it, but she also couldn’t move. Tanner wrapped his hand around the back of her neck. “Shall we test that?”

God, no.

Please, yes.

His lips brushed hers and she stayed still. She couldn’t participate. Shouldn’t encourage him. That would be wrong.

And yet, as his mouth continued to move against hers, she started to cave—so much for self-control. Her hands drifted up his arms as he grabbed her, pulling her onto his lap. Her legs went around him, his arms supporting her as he kissed her like he wanted to eat her. Like he couldn’t imagine not touching her.

A sound interrupted them.

Her phone.

It buzzed against her thigh, where she’d placed it into the pocket of her apron.

That was Opal’s ringtone.

“Ignore it,” Tanner ordered.

“I can’t.” And she shouldn’t be sitting here in the freaking staff area of the diner, letting him kiss her. Fumbling for her phone, she drew it out.

“Opal? What’s wrong?”