Malone's Fate (Haven, Texas Book 14)

Chapter 22

Fuck.

He hated this. Hated that she was pushing herself so hard when she had nothing left in her tank.

“Tanner.”

Glancing up, he saw Devon frowning down at him. He didn’t know what his problem was.

Oh. Wait. It might have something to do with what happened last night. Actually, Tanner had his own beef with the owner of Dirty Delights.

“You didn’t protect her.”

Devon gaped at him, looking like Tanner had just socked him in the stomach.

“You’re right.”

Okay, now it was Tanner’s turn to be surprised. He wasn’t expecting Devon to admit that he’d been in the wrong.

“And I feel fucking awful about it. I need another bouncer on during busy nights like last night. But did you seriously have to wreck half my bar?”

“Looks okay to me.” Tanner glanced around. Sure, there were a few missing chairs and tables, but thankfully, it wasn’t as busy tonight.

“Going to cost me money to buy new stuff. Not to mention having to deal with Jake last night.”

“Yeah, he’s a real buzzkill. Can you get me a beer?” he asked.

“Tanner!”

“What?”

“Fuck. I don’t know whether to thank you or strangle you,” Devon said.

“Strangely, I get that reaction a lot.”

“Nothing strange about it,” Devon muttered, pouring him a beer.

Thank God for that. Maybe he’d go away now.

“I don’t want any trouble tonight,” Devon warned.

“There’s not going to be any trouble.”

Devon shot him a skeptical look.

“As long as no one touches her, upsets her, or tries to claim what is mine.” That last part had been aimed at Devon, and he wasn’t even going to pretend that it wasn’t.

“She’s a beautiful girl. Hard-working. Kind. Loyal. But what she needs is someone to take care of her. To ensure she gets what she needs even when she protests. To do what’s best for her. You think you can do that?”

“I know I can.”

“You better.”

“Hey, everything all right?”

Tanner turned to see Lilac standing there, watching them both worriedly. “I’m really sorry about last night, Devon. If you need to take any of the repairs out of my pay, you can.”

“He won’t be doing that, will you, Devon,” Tanner warned.

“Of course I won’t be,” Devon replied. “If I’m going to charge anyone for the damage, it will be him.” He pointed at Tanner.

“But that’s not fair. He was just coming to my aid. It was that other guy who was the asshole. He should pay.”

Was she . . . sticking up for him?

Damn. He was getting hard. Not exactly the time or place.

Devon sighed, nodding. “You’re right. Those assholes aren’t welcome back here. No one is in trouble or has to pay for the damages. Okay?”

Lilac gave Devon a relieved smile. Tanner hated that she’d been worrying about this.

“Baby, you need a break.” He brushed some of her red hair behind her ear.

“I just got here. I can’t take a break.” She gave him an exasperated look and turned away.

Reaching out, he lifted her onto his lap. “I don’t care how long you’ve been at work, if you need a rest, you take it. Understand me?”

He kissed the side of her neck, feeling a tremble run through her before he placed her on the floor again.

Devon gave him a nod of approval. Not that he needed it. But he was glad they were both on the same page when it came to her health.

The other man walked away.

“You got me all hot and bothered standing up for me like that.”

“What? You’re kidding.”

“Nope. I’m not. Now I’m going to have to sit here with a hard-on for the rest of the night. Do you feel sorry for me?”

“No.” She slapped his chest. “You’re terrible.”

But he noticed a smile on her face as she turned away to go back to work.

He resumed watching her and glowering at anyone who dared to even look at her for longer than a few seconds.

Nothing was happening to her on his watch.

Devon walked out, carrying a bowl of fries and chicken bites, which he placed on the bar beside him. He frowned. Who were those for? No one had been sitting there all night.

“Lilac!” he called out. She glanced over and he pointed to the food. “Break.”

Tanner’s eyebrows rose.

“I’m fine,” she replied.

“Sit. Eat.” Devon shot him a look, then disappeared down the other end of the bar.

Lilac turned away as though she was going to walk off. But Tanner grabbed her, lifting her onto the stool.

“Hey! I’m working. You can’t come sit here if you’re just going to manhandle me.”

“Manhandle you? Hmm, I do like the sound of that.” He leaned in close to her. “Eat your dinner, baby.”

“I already had dinner.”

“Um, if you’re talking about that pizza, then no, you didn’t. But if you don’t want to eat this, I’d be happy to get you something else.”

“W-what?” She turned to stare at him in shock.

“If you don’t want to eat this, I’ll go get you whatever you want,” he repeated. “What would you rather have? A burger? Some fruit? Salad? I don’t actually know your favorite food.” He frowned. That wasn’t really good enough, was it? He had to do better.

“I . . . I don’t need anything else.”

“Then you want this?”

She stared at the food as if she’d never seen anything like it before. “I . . . I . . .”

Fuck. He hated seeing her like this. She seemed so deflated. As though there was little of the old Lilac left.

He wanted to know how that had been beaten out of her . . . and how he could fix it all.

“I have trouble eating,” she whispered.

This wasn’t the place for this conversation, but he wasn’t telling her that. If she needed to talk to him, then he was here for her. Always.

“Why, baby?” Was it a body dysmorphia thing? Did he need to get her a therapist?

“It . . . I . . . I was never allowed to eat whatever I wanted. There was a strict diet I had to follow when I was growing up. I didn’t eat sweets or bad fats and few carbs. Everything was a bad or good food.”

Fuck.

Even he knew that wasn’t a good thing. And no way for a child to be raised.

“Your parents decided that?”

“Um. Not exactly. My mom died giving birth to me and my dad, well, he had a lot going on, so I was raised by a very strict woman. I called her Mrs. Jansen.”

“You had to call someone who raised you by their last name?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “She really was an awful woman. Well, to me. She loved my brother. She constantly praised him. He was handsome, smart, well-mannered. I was chubby, ill-kept, and ill-mannered.”

“That bitch!”

She startled, then looked around her. “I need to get back to work.”

“You’re on a break, remember?”

“I can’t . . . I don’t think I can eat this.”

“Would it help if we went out the back?” he asked.

She gave him a surprised look. “Um, yeah, it probably would.”

“Hey, I can have good ideas sometimes,” he told her.

Lilac’s eyes grew wide as he picked up her food and then held out a hand to help her down.

“I didn’t mean . . . I wasn’t trying to imply . . .”

He couldn’t stop himself from grinning as she stumbled over her words.

“You’re a rat, Tanner Malone.”

“A rat, huh? No, I think I’m more of a puma. Lying in wait, watching, ready to attack. All sleek, sexy, and beautiful.”

Her mouth dropped open. “You need to be careful or you’ll need a neck brace.”

“For what?” he asked in confusion.

“To help carry around that huge head of yours,” she commented.

“Ha-ha,” he said. But he secretly loved that her sassy side was peeking out.

She finally slipped her hand into his, and he couldn’t help but frown. “You’re cold.”

“Oh, I’m always cold. It’s fine.”

It wasn’t, though. He was really concerned about her. They walked out into the staff room. “I don’t know if you should be out here.”

“Baby, I go where I want.”

“See what I mean? Giant ego.”

He just grinned and placed her food on the table. She sat and he picked up a chair, moving it around to sit next to her. Grabbing a piece of chicken, he brought it to his mouth, then blew on it.

“What are you doing?”

“Making sure this isn’t gonna burn you.”

She blinked at him. “Seriously?”

“Uh, yeah. Why is that hard to understand?” he asked.

“Well, no one has ever . . . I mean . . . I don’t need you to do that.”

“Didn’t think that you did. I want to do it.”

“You’re a strange man, Tanner Malone. One minute you’re easygoing and fun. The next you’re all stern and bossy. One minute you like me, the next you don’t, then you do again.”

“That’s just the mystery of Tanner Malone,” he told her, holding piece of chicken to her mouth. “Open for me, baby.”

A blush filled her cheeks.

“Ooh, what are you thinking about right now?” he teased.

“Nothing.” She bit down on the chicken. Probably so she didn’t have to answer him. But he didn’t care. She was eating and that was a win.

“Hmm, I’m not sure. I think you were thinking about something else. Like, maybe you were thinking about opening your mouth so I could place my —”

“Tanner!”

“Finger into it.” He fed her another fry. “Why, Lilac, what did you think I was going to say, you naughty girl?” He leaned into her. “Did you think I was going to say my cock?”

With a groan, she rested her forehead on the table. “Dead. I’m dead.”

“I sure hope not. Would make it less fun to tease you.”

“Can you please leave and maybe not ever come back so I don’t have to remember how embarrassing this was.”

Something about those words hit him hard. “That’s one thing I won’t do. I won’t ever leave and not come back.”

Ouch.

Double ouch.

Sitting up, she looked over at him. She let all the sorrow she felt fill her face. “I’m so sorry I did that to you, Tanner. I don’t think there are enough sorries to make it up to you, but I want to try.”

He eyed her for a long moment. “You can start by eating a bit more dinner.”

She sighed. “You can’t guilt someone into eating.”

He clasped hold of her hand. “I don’t know how to ask this in some sort of sensitive way, so I’m just going to ask it.”

Uh-oh.

This could be anything . . . from wanting to perform some strange sex act to something far more intense and emotional.

“Are you so thin because you aren’t eating? Because that bitch put all these ideas in your head about your weight? You’ve lost a lot of weight in six months, baby, and that cannot be good for you.”

She sighed, rubbing her hand over her face. “I know it’s not good for me. God, if I hadn’t realized it by how tired and cold I am all the time, then I’d know it from the amount of hair I’m losing.”

“Fuck. Listen, Jake’s wife, Molly, is a psychologist. She’s not so bad to talk to. I mean, she tried to cure us, but then she figured out there’s nothing to cure.”

“I don’t think psychologists cure people.”

“Well, whatever. Us Malones are perfect the way we are.”

She snorted and he held up a piece of chicken. She stared at it with a sigh, rubbing her tummy.

“Eat, please, baby. You need your strength to get through the rest of your shift. And to go home and help look after Kye.”

He wasn’t wrong.

“If you need to talk to Molly . . . “

“I don’t,” she said quickly. Part of her was scared. Because once she started talking to someone . . . well, it might all come out and she might completely fall apart.

But also, she didn’t think she had an eating disorder. It was just that eating had become difficult with her constant anxiety and fear. Plus, she didn’t like to spend money on food for herself when she could use it on Kye.

Then there was the fact that she’d have to talk about Stefan. No conversation about her mental health could bypass him. And could she really trust Molly not to tell her husband, who was the freaking sheriff?

“All right, I’ll drop that for the moment. But I need you to start eating. You can eat whatever you like, so long as you eat.”

Was he serious right now?

“Do you listen to yourself speak?”

“Of course. I sound so good. How could I not?”

She groaned. “It’s just . . .”

“Just what, baby?” he asked, taking her hand.

Lord, he was being unbearably sweet. She almost couldn’t handle it.

“It’s hard for me to eat. My stomach is always tied up in knots. It wasn’t just Mrs. Jansen who restricted what I ate. After I left home, I felt so free. I ate what I wanted, wore what I wanted, said whatever came into my head without having to run it through a filter. And then I met this cute, sexy guy in a bar.”

“Hey! Don’t tell me about some asshole you met.”

“Dummy, I’m talking about you.” She nudged him.

“Me? That’s all right, then. Wait a minute, no it’s not! I’m not cute. I will accept sexy. Handsome is fine. Gorgeous. More attractive than all of my brothers combined and far, far smarter is preferable.”

She rolled her eyes. “Neck brace.”

He scoffed. “What’s the point of being all this if I can’t brag about it?” He waved his hand through the air over himself.

Lord. He was too much. But she couldn’t help but smile. What would it be like to be that confident in yourself?

She’d never had that.

“So, what happened after you met me?” he asked.

He fed her another bit of chicken. She was nearly full, but for some reason, it was easier to eat like this, while she was focused on their conversation. Usually, she didn’t like eating in front of other people, but Tanner was just so relaxing. It was hard to be stressed around him.

“I was just . . . I got stressed, I guess. All I could think after we left was that you’d turn up at the bar and I wouldn’t be there. That you’d be so mad at me. I was worried and anxious, and I felt ill. Which just made it harder and harder to eat. We were on the move and things were so unsettled. I’ve always hated feeling unsettled. Having things changing all the time. I didn’t want to leave that day. I really wish I’d been able to message you. But I couldn’t and I . . . I . . .”

She was gasping for breath by now, so he drew her onto his lap

“Easy, baby. It’s all right.” He rubbed her back with his hand.

Tears filled her eyes. “It’s not. It’s really not, though. I hurt you. You were so angry with me. You . . . you looked at me like you . . . like you hated me.”

“Shh. There’s no way I could ever hate you,” he reassured her.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” He cupped her chin, tilting her face back. He wiped away her tears with his sleeve. “It would be impossible.”

“You don’t know everything, though. What if . . . what if you hate me after hearing it all?”

“Are you some secret assassin come to murder me and my family?”

“No!” Sheesh. Some days she could barely walk without tripping over.

“Then I think we’re good.”

“That’s it? That’s the one rule you’ve got? I can’t murder you or your family.”

“Well, I mean, we probably wouldn’t object if you took out West?—”

“Tanner! Be serious.”

He gave her a puzzled look. “Huh? I was being serious.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “You can’t tell me that I’m allowed to take out one of your brothers.”

“But he’s the one that no one likes.”

“Isn’t he married?”

“Well, yeah. I guess I see where you’re going. Flick might care.”

Mightcare? He was crazy.

“I’m not here to kill anyone. But I do have secrets.”

“We all do.”

Not like hers.

“Eventually, I’m going to want to know all these secrets of yours. But for now, all I want from you is your promise that you won’t run again.”

Shit. She bit her lip.

“Promise me, Lilac,” he said in a low voice.

“And if I can’t?”

“Then I guess you just found yourself a 24/7 guard dog.”

She closed her eyes. “You can’t be with me all the time.”

“Wanna bet?”

Lilac blew out her breath. It was a terrible promise to make. Because could she keep it?

Then again, it wasn’t like they could run at the moment. And maybe . . . maybe this time they’d be safe.

“What’s going on, baby?” he asked.

Crap. How to answer him?

There was a knock on the door, and she glanced up to see Lemon standing there. “Sorry to interrupt, but we need you out there.”

“Of course, I’m so sorry.” She got to her feet. “I have to go back to work.”

“If you’re in trouble, I need to know. I get you don’t want to tell me yet. But you have my number on your phone now, so if something happens, the first person you call is me. Got it?”

Jeepers.

“Yes. Got it.”

“Good girl. Now, get back to work.” He slapped her ass as she turned.

Lord. He was too much.

But also . . . he was just enough.