Chapter 25
Fuck.
What had just happened? Tanner stared after Lilac. Didn’t she understand that Linc had deserved the punch? That those men the other night at Dirty Delights had deserved it too?
That all he was doing was protecting her?
Why had she looked at him like she thought . . . like she’d thought that he might harm her?
He’d never do that. Everything he did was for her. All he wanted was to care for and protect her.
Linc picked Ryleigh up and carried her out of the guesthouse. Both of them had given him strange looks. He glanced to Opal who was staring worriedly after Lilac.
Yeah. Nope. He wasn’t leaving things like this. He took a step toward the bathroom, but Opal moved in front of him.
“I need to go talk to her,” he said.
“No, big boy, I think it’s best that you don’t.” Opal’s voice was firm but kind.
“I need to! I can’t leave things like this. I can’t have her thinking that . . . that I might hurt her. That’s what she thinks, right?”
“I don’t know if she thinks that, exactly. Listen, she just needs a bit of time and some rest. She’s exhausted and stressed.”
“I need to tell her that I’d never harm her. Ever.” He ran a shaking hand over his face. “I can’t believe she’d be worried that I would do that.”
“Lilac hasn’t had an easy life. She lived with a narcissist who blamed her for everything that went wrong in his life and . . . shit, I shouldn’t have said that. Fucking big mouth.”
A narcissist? Who was that? Opal said ‘he,’ so it wasn’t the nanny. Her dad or brother?
“I know a bit about her childhood. She told me about being raised by her nanny and how that bitch cherished her brother yet hated Lilac. How she’d restrict what Lilac ate.”
Opal nodded. “Honestly, if she’s opened up even that much, then deep down, part of her already trusts you. It’s just . . . you can’t keep using your fists to solve shit. I fucking get it. I’m always tempted to smack the stupidity out of someone. But Lilac needs to know that you’ll keep your cool.”
“Linc fucking deserved it, and he knows it. That’s why he didn’t hit back. And those assholes at Dirty Delight definitely did.” He started pacing. “She can’t expect me to sit by and do nothing while people touch her, upset her.”
“Hmm, she probably wasn’t all that upset by those assholes in the bar. But Linc is supposed to be your friend. And my guess is she feels so guilty over Ryleigh being sick that she felt like she deserved his ire.”
“That’s fucking bullshit! He had no right to talk to her like that.”
Opal held up her hands. “Hey, I fucking agree. He was a fuckhead. Hmm. Yeah, I’m putting that between dickhead and shithead. But the thing is, Lilac doesn’t necessarily agree. And all she sees is you using your fists to hurt people. Which is what her brother does. Well, not usually his own fists. Maybe she even blames herself for the fact that Linc is now sporting a black eye. You see where I’m going with this?”
Tanner stilled with a groan. “I really fucked this up is what you’re saying.”
Her brother was violent? Did he ever hit Lilac?
Fuck. He was realizing how little he really knew about her past.
She shrugged. “Yeah. Kind of. It’s not your fault. Lilac is . . . she’s used to violence in some ways yet abhors it at the same time. It’s a difficult mix. My advice?”
He sighed. “Yeah?”
“Give her some time to calm down, but not too much time. She’ll stew and convince herself of all sorts of shit if you leave her too long. Then you show her that you’re not going anywhere. The one thing she needs is consistency. Someone who is there for her and who puts her first. Oh, and also? If you need to punch any more of your friends, don’t let her know.” Opal winked at him before disappearing into the other bedroom.
Fuck!
With a sigh, he moved to the closed door where his girl had disappeared through. He didn’t like that there was a door between them. That she’d closed him out.
“Baby, I’m leaving. But not for good. I’ll be back and we can talk.”
With no other choice, his stomach in knots and filled with regrets, he left.
* * *
Lilac couldn’t sleep.
She tossed and turned. She needed to sleep. Desperately. But her mind wouldn’t shut up.
Had she made a mistake sending Tanner away? Why had she done that? Because he’d hit some guys?
While defending you.
Urgh, she was an idiot. She already knew he wasn’t like Stefan. Her brother would never have stuck up for her. Oh no, he’d have turned things around and blamed her for everything. He’d have told her it was her fault that guy had grabbed her at Dirty Delights.
With a sigh, she rolled onto her other side, wincing as pain shot through her ribs.
Ouch.
Moving onto her back, she pressed her hands to her eyes. Had she just been looking for a reason to push Tanner away?
Was she playing games without even knowing she was doing it?
Sitting up, she tried to take some even breaths. It felt like there was a huge weight pressing down on her chest.
Maybe she should call him and apologize.
He said he’d be back . . . but what if he’d decided that she was too much work?That she was a bitch who ran hot and cold?
You could have had it all. And instead, like usual, you self-sabotage.
Why can’t you do anything right, Lilac?
First, she couldn’t fix Sugar. Then, she didn’t notice how sick Ryleigh was. And now she’d ruined things with Tanner.
Out. She needed to get out. She couldn’t breathe.
She was lying on Ryleigh’s bed, having locked herself in here to avoid talking to Opal.
Which was something else to feel ashamed of. Opal had to work tomorrow and she’d left her to take care of Kye.
After quickly pulling on some clothes, she tiptoed into the next room to check on Kye and Opal. Both of them were sleeping.
She’d just go for a quick run, then come back and listen out for Kye, so Opal could sleep. Checking the time on the oven, she saw it was just after three in the morning.
Yeah, no way was she sleeping now.
Slipping out the door, she walked toward the road. Sure, she knew it was probably a stupid idea to go running at this time of night. However, Haven was a safe place.
Well, safe-ish.
Still, she was sure that no one else would be up now. She started off at a slow jog, but it wasn’t long until her lungs were heaving for air, her side protesting that it didn’t like moving this much.
Shit. She was so unfit.
It probably didn’t help that she had bruised ribs.
Slowing down, she tried to catch her breath, but couldn’t. The world spun dangerously.
Oh great.
Just wonderful.
This was the icing on the cake, she thought as the world went black.