Malone's Fate (Haven, Texas Book 14)

Chapter 32

Lilac gasped as a hand was pressed over her mouth.

Opening her eyes, she stared up into Stefan’s face. Horror flooded her.

What was he doing here?

How had he found her?

She glanced around, but she couldn’t see Tanner. Where was he? Had he left her?

He’d abandoned her and now Stefan had found her.

This is a good thing. You don’t want Stefan to see Tanner.

It didn’t feel like a good thing right then, though. It felt utterly terrifying. Her heart raced as she tried to breathe.

“Did you really think you could run from me? That I wouldn’t find you? You always were a stupid bitch, Lilac. Always one step behind. Thick as a brick. Fat. Ugly. Although I see you took care of the fat part. I knew the fucking staff were feeding you behind my back. No way could you eat what I told them to feed you and still look like you did.”

She whimpered. Why was no one coming to save her?

Where was the nurse? Tanner? Someone?

She wriggled around, trying to push his hand off her mouth.

“Uh-uh, no fighting back, Lilac. you know that will make it worse and I’d hate to have to punish you by hurting your friend.”

Her eyes widened as she continued to fight to breathe.

Did he mean? Surely, he didn’t know about Tanner, right?

“That’s right. I know all about your friend and I’m coming for him. I’m going to hurt him to hurt you. And you know I’ll do it, don’t you?”

No! No, no, no!She wouldn’t let Stefan hurt him.

“I’m coming, Lilac.”

“Lilac! Lilac, wake up!”

Lilac opened her eyes, staring around wildly. Sitting up, she grabbed at her throat. She couldn’t breathe! He was choking her!

“Baby. Fuck, Lilac, you’re all right. It was just a nightmare. You’re okay, baby.”

She clawed at her neck. The pain of her fingernails slicing into her skin didn’t even register through her panic.

“Lilac.” Tanner’s firm voice finally managed to penetrate her panic and she gaped at him.

“Breathe.”

She couldn’t!

“You. Will. Breathe. I want you to match my breathing.” He grabbed her hands, tugging them away from her neck. He placed both of them on his chest. “Breathe. Right. Fucking. Now.”

There was no ignoring that command. Her throat relaxed slightly, and she gasped in some air.

“Good girl. And another.”

She took another breath. Then one more. Gradually, she became aware that she was trembling. She glanced around frantically. Was he here? Had he come for her?

“Lilac, listen to me, baby. It was just a nightmare.”

She shook her head. No, no, it wasn’t. It had been real. He’d been here.

“Tell me what it was about.” Tanner cupped her face between his hands.

She tried to shake her head again, but he held her face still.

“Tell me.”

“He was here,” she said in a raspy voice.

“Your brother.” It wasn’t a question.

A sob escaped her. “Y-yes.”

“He wasn’t, Lilac.”

“He was!” The door to her room opened and she shied back with a cry.

“Is everything all right in here?” A harried-looking nurse walked in. “We heard a scream, but we had an emergency down the other end of the ward. Lilac? I’m Grace. Are you okay?”

An emergency? Or a diversion so he could get to her? She wouldn’t put it past Stefan.

He was sneaky like that.

“Lilac had a nightmare,” Tanner explained. “But I’m here. I’ll take care of her.”

“All right. If you’re sure, Lilac?” Grace asked.

“Y-yes.” She didn’t want the nurse here to witness her losing her mind. Abby must have gone home sometime during the night.

After her nap, she’d woken up to find that Raid had dropped off a bag of her clothes. Tanner had helped her put some panties on. Which was just as well, since she’d been wheeled away for an ultrasound soon after.

By the time she’d returned to the room, it had been dinner time. Then she’d fallen asleep watching some reality show on TV.

“Tanner, he was here,” she whispered after the nurse left.

“Baby, he wasn’t here, I promise. It was a dream. I’ve been here with you the entire time.”

“Are you . . . are you certain?” she asked. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe him. But Stefan could be tricky.

Tanner drew back the blankets and then lifted her onto his lap. Taking hold of the top blanket, he wrapped it around her as he held her tight.

Ooh, okay. This was nice.

She felt so much more secure.

“I’m certain, baby. I wouldn’t leave you. I promise. I’ve been right here. I haven’t gone anywhere.” He rocked her gently back and forth. “It was just a nightmare.”

“It felt so real.” She sobbed. It was hard to believe that he really wasn’t here.

“Please stop crying, baby,” he murmured. “I hate listening to you cry. I don’t like that he infiltrated your dreams. You should only have happy dreams.”

Yeah. She wished.

The only time she had happy dreams was when they were about him. Reaching over her, he grabbed a tissue and wiped her face clean. Heck, he even wiped her nose!

Yikes.

But she simply lay there and let him take care of her. Maybe he was right. Perhaps she would benefit from giving him control. At least for a short time; she wasn’t sure she could do it as a lifestyle. But to not make decisions, even simple ones like what to wear or eat, could be freeing.

“I hate seeing you like this, baby. Will you talk to me about it?”

She swallowed heavily. “I, uh . . .” Shoot, her throat was dry and scratchy. How much screaming had she done?

Hopefully, she hadn’t woken up anyone else.

“Wait a second.” After shuffling her so she was sitting up straighter, he reached over and poured her a glass of water. Then he lay her back against his arm and held the glass to her lips.

Her cheeks went hot. He was treating her like she was helpless. Fragile.

God, it was nice.

“Tell me, baby,” he urged after drawing the glass of water away from her mouth.

“It felt so real. Like he was here. I woke up to his hand over my mouth. I couldn’t . . . I couldn’t breathe.”

“Shit. That’s why you woke up scratching at your throat and not breathing.”

“Yes.”

“Fuck. I need to look at your neck.” He set her on the bed and turned on the light by the bed. It wasn’t that bright, but she still winced.

“Sorry, baby. I just need to see. I’m going to find something to clean these scratches.”

“They’re fine,” she said dismissively. It was just a couple of scratches. She’d had far worse.

“No, they’re not fine. They need cleaning in case they get infected. There might be something in the bathroom I can use.” He disappeared into the bathroom, and she started shivering again.

Strange, his touch seemed to hold her fear at bay. And now that he wasn’t touching her, all of that fear came rushing back.

Just hold on.

“Baby? Fuck. Are you all right?” Tanner rushed over to her, cupping her face in his hands.

“I’m j-just . . . I c-can’t stop t-trembling.” She stared up at him.

“Shh. Shh. It’s all right. You’re okay. I’m sorry I left you.” He bundled her against his chest and rocked her back and forth.

“I’m b-being silly,” she said.

“Hush. No, you’re not.”

“It was just a d-dream.”

It wasn’t real. He wasn’t here.

The trouble was that the nightmare didn’t really stop once she was awake. Because Stefan was still out there. Still searching for them.

Was that nightmare her brain’s way of warning her to stay away from Tanner? To protect him from Stefan?

“It was a nightmare about someone who has been traumatizing you for a long time.”

“I could n-never see a way free. Not u-until the opportunity c-came to run. Sorry for being s-silly.”

“You don’t have to apologize. And you are not being silly. Understand?”

“Yes,” she whispered, snuggling into him.

“I need to get some antiseptic from the nurse since I couldn’t find any. Then I’ll bandage your neck.”

“I don’t need any.”

“Yeah, you do. I’m not risking your health.” He hit the buzzer and sat back down in the chair with her on his lap.

“You can put me on the bed.” She didn’t want him to do that, but thought she better offer.

“I don’t want you to start shaking again.”

Fair enough.

“What else happened in the nightmare?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Just a lot of threats, calling me names. The usual.”

He started swearing right as Grace walked into the room.

“Everything all right?” she asked as she came and switched off the buzzer.

“We need some antiseptic for her neck,” Tanner said.

“I’ll get some now,” she promised after checking Lilac’s neck.

Damn. This was so embarrassing.

Lilac buried her face in Tanner’s neck. “You smell so good.” And from memory, he tasted even better.

His chest moved as he laughed. “Do I? Even after sleeping in these clothes?”

“Uh-huh.”

The nurse returned and Tanner took the antiseptic from her with thanks, turning down her offer to help.

Then he set Lilac on the bed and cleaned up her cuts, putting a light bandage on them.

“There, all better.”

Surprisingly, she did feel a lot better.

“Let’s get you back into bed.”

As he tucked her in, she let out a small whimper. Damn it. Where did that noise come from?

“Hey, you okay?”

“I just . . . I feel . . . scared.” It was hard to admit it. But it was the truth. She was so scared.

He leaned over her, his face close to hers. “I won’t let him touch you, Lilac.”

Yeah, that’s not why she was so terrified. She was concerned about Tanner, about what Stefan might do to him if he ever discovered his connection to her.

“Is it crazy to want you so much when I barely know you?” she asked instead of telling him what was actually going on in her head.

“You know me. I’m the guy you met in that bar six months ago.” He grinned at her.

She rolled her eyes.

“And I don’t think it’s crazy to know when you’ve found someone special. Someone you want to spend your life with.”

Closing her eyes, she nodded wearily.

God, she wanted that.

“Would you . . . is it wrong to ask for . . . never mind.”

“Look at me.”

She opened her eyes, moving her gaze to his.

He stared down at her. “You can ask me anything. It would never be wrong. Unless you ask me to harm you. I won’t do that.”

“Lie with me,” she said quickly before she could chicken out. “I don’t feel safe unless you’re touching me.”

“Of course I will.”

He slid into bed next to her, lying on his back. She curled around him, putting her arm and leg over him.

It felt so nice to have someone hug her, touch her. She got the feeling that if Tanner was ever hers for good, she might become a bit addicted to touching him.

“What are you thinking?” he asked as he kissed the top of her head.

“Just that I could become addicted to touching you.”

He snorted. “Suits me.”

“You say that now. But I’d be a grade A clinger, hanging off you wherever you went, sitting on your lap, hugging you, holding your hand, the whole deal.”

“And I’d like that,” he told her firmly. “I get the feeling you haven’t been touched a lot by someone who cares about you.”

“Ryleigh is a hugger,” she said.

“I can see that. But that’s not quite the same, is it?”

No. It wasn’t.

“Go to sleep, baby. I’ll keep your nightmares at bay.”