Mammon (Devilry #2)

9. Belphegor

NINE

BELPHEGOR

I walk hand-in-hand with Bel down the deserted street. Terror wags her tail happily as she walks, stretching her leash because she’s trying to smell anything and everything. She’s absolutely adorable, the best pet ever, but even she can’t cheer me up right now.

I sigh dramatically because this is a very dramatic situation. I’m reliving the memory of what happened last week like it’s still fresh in my mind. I thought Mammon, Bel, and I had gotten somewhere, but it turned out to be all for nothing. He said he got what he wanted from us, that one taste was enough, and I can’t help how… dirty that makes me feel. I don’t like feeling that way about Mammon because he’s literally the best, but I can’t fight against what my heart is crying out.

Which is that he’s never going to want Bel and me the way we want him.

Bel squeezes my hand, dragging me closer to him as he kisses my cheek. “I don’t like seeing you like this.”

I shrug. I don’t know what else to do. “It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not, baby,” he snaps, but I know he’s not frustrated with me.

It’s hard for him to handle his emotions, not always using the healthiest means to deal with them, and I wonder just how much it’s costing him to try to keep it all in for my sake.

That only makes me feel even worse.

“Gorey,” he coos, pulling on my hand to stop me before we cross the empty street. “Everything is okay. He’ll come?—”

“Don’t say he’ll come around,” I cry as I rip my hand away from him. “He doesn’t want us, Bel. We were stupid to think he ever would.”

He shakes his head. “You can’t think like that. This is just a transition period for him. He’s stressed, right? Not thinking clearly. Once everything calms down, he’ll realize he can’t live without us.”

It would be so easy to believe him because Bel has never lied to me before. I don’t think he’s lying now—maybe he actually thinks that’s true—but there’s a flicker of doubt in his eyes. If he’s doubting himself, then I’m doubting everything. Bel is my cornerstone, my rock, my unwavering support. If even he’s confused and unstable, then… then… then…

“Baby, calm down,” he shouts, shaking my shoulders lightly as I start to hyperventilate. “Breathe, Gore. Everything’s fine.”

My teeth chatter as I try to speak. “B-But h-he doesn’t w-want us and y-you don’t know?—”

“No, no. I do know.” He smiles softly. “I got this. I promise. Just let me handle everything and things will work out. I’ve never let you down before, and I don’t plan on starting now.”

I nod shakily, letting him help me to a nearby bench. “I-If you s-say so.”

“Let’s play worst-case scenario,” he suggests, taking Terror’s leash from me and tying it around the bench. “What’s the worst thing that would happen if Mammon didn’t want us?”

My soul would be incomplete. Bel and I would be miserable for the rest of our lives, knowing that true happiness was just out of grasp. Everything would be lifeless and dull and?—

“Okay, maybe we shouldn’t play this,” he teases, trying to lighten the mood. “Let me tell you what the worst-case scenario is.” He takes both my hands and brings them up to his lips. “No matter what, we’ll always have each other. At the end of the day, that’s all that matters, right?”

My mind starts to slow as I take in his words. Bel…my person. The first love of my life. The one who saves me when I don’t think I’d be able to save myself.

“Yeah…” I mumble, smiling just a tad when he starts tickling my sides. “Stop!”

He does and brings both his hands to cage my face. Leaning his forehead against mine, he gives me butterfly kisses that soothe my soul. “They tried to take you away from me once, and I made sure they were all dead. We’ll always have each other, baby. No matter what.”

I close my eyes and think back to the past we left behind. To the shitty home where I was treated like trash and looked down on. The home that didn’t understand how to deal with me and thought I was a freak. I think of the first time I met Bel—how solid and unwavering he was—and how our souls were pulled together without us even trying.

I think of what happened when they tried to separate us. They’re too close. It’s not natural. It’d be better if they were apart.

One word from Bel, two knives, a shit ton of blood later, and it was no longer a problem.

Because Bel knew what to do. Bel found a solution that kept us together, and I’ll always have him as my guiding light, Mammon or not.

But Mammon in the picture would just be so nice…

“I see you’re being stubborn,” Bel grunts with a kiss to the tip of my nose. “Fine. Be that way. I’ll be here when you come back to reality.”

I go to open my mouth to tell him the only reality I have is him, when movement over his shoulder catches my attention. There’s a man leaning against a shop across the street from us. He’s dressed in all black, a scarf securely wrapped around the bottom of his face, and he’s staring directly at us. I cock my head to the side, tapping Bel, and gesturing for him to turn around. He does quickly, wrinkling his nose when he sees what I see.

“What the fuck?” he asks, standing. “Who’s the freak?”

Shaking my head slowly, I shrink under the man’s stare. “I don’t know. He’s making me uncomfortable, Bel.”

Bel growls, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “I’ll take care of it, baby.”

He starts to walk around the bench, but the second the man realizes what he’s doing, he disappears into the alley beside him. When Bel goes to follow, I shake my head, feeling ridiculous as I pull him back to me. “It’s not worth it. He’s probably just someone who’s curious about us.”

We’ve gotten a few of those lately. Ordinary citizens who are terrified, sure, but also supremely interested in us. Like we’re animals in a zoo exhibit meant for their amusements. It’s like when a lion escapes its cage. You know you should run, but you want that damn picture so badly, you’ll risk your life for it.

Bel stands his ground, body twitching toward the alley, and I drop my head against his stomach and wrap my arms around him. “Don’t leave me, Bel.”

I can feel his tension ease at my words. He threads his fingers through my hair, yanking my head back so I can see him smiling down at me. “Never. I’ll never leave you, Gore. Just like I’ll never let anything happen to you.” He casts one last glance toward the alley and huffs. “Why don’t we go home, baby? Get into the tub and have a nice hot bath before I wreck that tight asshole of yours.”

I nod eagerly, already plumping in my pants. We untie Terror and head in the opposite direction back to the neighborhood, coated in a peaceful silence where we both know no words have to be shared.

But, all the while, I can’t help the nagging feeling that something’s wrong.