35. Mammon
THIRTY-FIVE
MAMMON
I hang my head and try to level my breaths.
I can’t do this.
It’s too much.
I…
“Mammon.” Luc approaches me from his spot against the door frame, walking slowly into my room. “It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay.”
“It’s not,” I mumble as I rock in place, feeling the most vulnerable I’ve ever been in my life. “It’s been a full day since they went missing.”
I tried to think of all the possibilities of what could be happening. Bel and Gore could be beaten half to death, starved, tortured, all because of me and the fact that I was stupid enough to let them out of my sight.
I thought our neighborhood was a safe space for us. It’s always been one in the past. The level of security we have is astounding and I hadn’t ever considered that there were ways to sneak in undetected.
There’s a lot I haven’t considered.
In the full day since they’ve been gone and all I’ve done is think about the actions that led to this moment. Doubt has settled deep in my gut, making me wonder if this was all worth it. My selfish need for power and control fueled this. If I hadn’t killed the false master, if I had just kept to the status quo, none of this would be happening.
But I was a greedy man and now I’m paying the price.
“We have to hold on to hope,” Luc says as he cautiously sits beside me. “They said they weren’t going to kill them.”
Tears blur my vision. “There are worse things than death, Lucifer. You know this.” I look up, wiping my cheeks with the back of my hand. “Asmodeus and Leviathan?”
“Still out looking,” he says, empathy—not sympathy—clear in his eyes. “They’ve taken some conduits with them and are scouring the island.”
I should be with them doing the same, but Luc and Asmodeus convinced me that I was more useful here, just in case Bel and Gore were brought back, or, if there was another phone call, I need to be able to reach it and signals are spotty in Juniper Ridge.
I try to hold my tongue but can’t. The words that’ve been dying to come out break free. For some reason, I feel safe with Luc. Maybe it’s because even though he’s just as fucked as the rest of us, he’s been through things that have made him wise. That’s why I speak. “I have to give the island up, don’t I?”
Luc shrugs, seemingly torn. “I really don’t know. We’ve come so far, but…” He chews on the inside of his cheek. “Maybe this is… Fuck, I really don’t know, Mammon.”
The problem is that I don’t either.
I’m restless on the bed, looking back with fond recollection of the memories Bel, Gore, and I have shared here; of the tender love I’ve made to them; of the dirty things we’ve done; of the happiness we found and I crack. I stand quickly. “Fuck this. I’m going to help search.”
Luc shakes his head. “Mammon?—”
He’s cut off by a ping from my phone and I race to pull it out of my pocket as my nerves spike. It’s not a continuous ringing, but a single chirp. It’s a message from another blocked number. I open it quickly, holding my breath as I read the words in front of me.
Knock, knock. Hope you like your treat.
Luc’s reading from beside me and he gasps. “Does that mean?—”
We both take off at a sprint, racing down the stairs and out the door. The conduits guarding the mansion stand straighter when we fly out, ready to ask questions, but we both ignore them. I look around frantically, pulse pounding in my ears. “They’re not here.”
“Mammon. The gate.”
Running as fast as my feet will carry me, Luc and I head toward the gate. With all the beefed-up security, there’s no way anyone is getting into this complex. It feels like it takes forever to reach the metal bars that protect our neighborhood.
“Open the fucking gate!” I yell up to the tower, not breaking my run, ready to crash through the damn thing.
Luc’s following quickly behind me, but the gate doesn’t open fast enough. With only a sliver of space, we squeeze through the opening to the outside road. Our complex is off of a secluded path, cloaked in darkness, and even the beams of light we turned on to monitor the front only reach so far.
There’s nothing right in front of the gate, so Luc and I split up. He goes to the right, more toward the wooded area, while I go to where the path leads up to the main road. I’m slammed with disappointment and panic when I don’t see them.
“Mammon! Over here!”
My breath catches, anticipatory worry choking my heart until it skips a beat. I reach Luc and let out a sigh of relief when I see Bel lying at the beginning of the wooden path. Barging past Luc, I fall to my knees with a painful crunch as I take him in.
Bel looks to be untouched, no obvious injuries from what I can see. His eyes widen when he sees me and he reaches for me just as I reach for him. “Mammon!”
“It’s okay,” I say, whispering in his ear, kissing every inch of his face in relief. “You’re home now.”
He shakes his head, sobs wracking his petite frame. “Gore…”
I snap my head up, looking at where he’s pointing. With one quick kiss to the top of his head, Luc and I rush to where Gore lies just a few feet away, more obscured by the forest brush. Bel stays, staring at us with an empty expression.
Gore’s flat on his stomach and he looks like he took the worst of it. His pretty face is all battered, with cuts and bruises everywhere. The pink cast is no longer on his arm and his wrist is back to being bent at an odd angle.
And the part that slices through my heart and tears at my intestines?—
He’s naked.
I cradle his body in my arms when I reach him, sobbing openly and brokenly as I search for a pulse. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! I can’t find it!”
“Let me try,” Luc says as he shoves me to the side. He closes his eyes, taking Gore’s unbroken wrist and feeling there. After a second, he smiles shakily. “Yes! Yes! It’s there. It’s—” He cuts himself off with a gasp and his face pales, dread and horror and panic. “Mammon… Why is there blood running down his legs?”
The relief I felt at knowing he’s alive is short-lived and dread crashes into me. Bel is blubbering in the background, so out of it, and Gore’s been…
I want to go to both of them and turn back time. I want this to be okay. I should have prevented this.
Because I now know what the “treat” is and something tells me Bel and Gore will never be the same again.