Manacled Hearts: an Age Gap Mafia Romance (The Sanctum Syndicate Book 3)

CHAPTER 19

Two more agonizing hours passed before I could leave Vin’s house. I thought planning and plotting our revenge would do something sweet to my insides, but the opposite happened. All this talk about the man who viciously took the first woman I ever loved away from me stirred a brutal discomfort. It wasn’t pain. Not because it didn’t hurt, but because the actual pain was reserved for the other reason these hours were agony—Evelyn.

She left in a strange mood, a look of vengeance in her eyes, but resolve too. Resignation. Like she gave up on something and the idea doesn’t sit right with me. I don’t know why.

Oh, fuck it, of course I know why.

Because it might be me she gave up on, and that makes me all sorts of uncomfortable. Why, I don’t know, because I want her to give up. I was the one who chased her away, but not because I didn’t want her.

I want her so much I can’t breathe properly unless she’s around. And when she is, she sucks it out of me, turning into want, need, and something so visceral my heart beats violently in my chest. I crave her starving silver and gold eyes, their invisible touch, the hunger beneath their surface, the demand to live and indulge. To ask for more and feed on the life she never had.

I want her.

Knowing she might go out there to seek her desires from someone else fills me with both rage and unfounded jealousy. I might not deserve her, but neither does any other asshole.

Now, I’m standing under the spray of the shower in my penthouse, trying to wash away these conflicting feelings. But I think I’m asking for far too much from mere water. I give it five minutes before I walk out, striding out onto the terrace that overlooks the sea, with nothing but a towel wrapped around my waist. I’m looking for some answers from the calm waves that look too small from this height, but the conflict seems to have the only reply.

The moon has risen, its light brushing over the water, and the calmness unsettles me. It’s a sheer contrast to my inner turmoil, because I haven’t gone over today’s revelation that Bartiste not only is responsible for Evelyn’s abduction, but he also touched her.

I can’t even bring myself to say the true word of what the dead man did to her. I’m a fucking coward. Yet, no matter the word, the reality is the same. I could have lost her to him.

She could have been gone before I had a chance to know her, to witness the woman she’s becoming. Admire the strength of her character, of her beautiful mind, experience her transformation, coming into her own. The chance to feel her against me, taste her, and ruin her in the best way possible.

My cock tents against the towel, a soft breeze brushing against it, and I shake my head at the reaction. It’s not as involuntary as I would like to believe. Not when it happens every single fucking time I think of Evelyn. It’s been going on for weeks, maybe months. Like some teenage goddamn crush or something.

I swipe a hand over my face when I fully acknowledge the word I spoke in my mind—crush.

I’m a twenty-nine year old man… with a crush.

God save me because I’m fucked.

* * *

I didn’t make a decision by the time I reached Evelyn’s apartment building. But the look in her eyes when she left Vin’s house kept resurfacing in my mind, and the nagging sensation that I could be right was agonizing.

Time to find out.

The Sanctum’s security is stationed in and around this building too, at Vin’s insistence of course, since Morrigan spends a lot of time at her apartment here. I think Madds might have had a say in this too, as he seems oddly focused on the owner of the building—Loreley—though he would never admit it.

One of the guys lets me in and I head straight up to the first floor, my knuckles against the door before my feet halt. Too many moments pass, and just when I’m about to knock again, the door opens.

“Well, hello there.”

“Mamaw June,” I exclaim, surprised. “Hello.”

She chuckles softly and moves to let me in.

“I must admit, I’m not used to you being so disappointed to see me.”

“Shit, I’m sorry.” I don’t even bother to deny it. One does not lie to Mamaw June. The woman has a sixth sense about it.

“It’s okay.” Her tone is light, amused. “But Evelyn’s not here, dear.”

I’m too late.

“Do you know where she is?”

“Out. She asked me to look after Maya tonight.” She shrugs as she moves toward the living room.

I’ve never been in this place, but Morrigan’s apartment on the floor above has a similar layout. This one has a different personality though, as in it almost lacks it. It looks like it was just about finished, some of the light switches still have the protective film over them. But this old building has so much character with its tall ceilings and intricate coving, that not much needs to be done to it to make it look inviting.

“Finnigan!” A little screech makes me swallow my next question, and a small body slams into me from the side, arms wrapped around my waist.

“Maya. Hello.” I greet the cheeky girl. I wonder if she reacts like this to everyone she sees. “You seem cheerful. Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?”

She pulls back and steals guilty looks at Mamaw June. “I’m a big girl. I can stay up late.”

“It’s eight thirty now, I’ll give you half an hour and then you’re off to bed.”

“An hour. Finnigan’s here. He can read something to me.” She grabs my hand and flashes her doe eyes, clear expectation in them.

“Oh honey, I actually have somewhere—” The words get caught in my throat at the shift in her eyes, sadness slowly seeping into them. “Sure, I’ll stay.” I can’t bring myself to deny her.

She squeals and skips cheerfully to a small bookcase, sliding to her knees and rummages through it.

“Did you have somewhere you needed to be? Because I don’t think you’re escaping this.” The woman chuckles.

I did, but I can’t bear the thought of disappointing the little one. Plus, I don’t know where I should go.

“Did Evelyn say where she was going?” I ask as I follow toward the sofa.

“She did not, no. And you know me, it’s not like I know the hip places in town anyway, so it wouldn’t matter.”

“How about this one?” Maya exclaims and rushes to me, a tattered book in hand.

I sit down on the comfy sofa and grab it from her. Percy Jackson and the Lighting Thief. Okay, this is not a bad choice at all. Though this book clearly has seen better times.

“Where did you find this?” I ask Maya as she plops next to me, snuggling against my arm with absolutely no shyness or reservations. Her sister doesn’t share the same forward attitude, though… she’s the one who came on to me every time. Okay, maybe I am wrong, and she does have the same drive, I’m simply the one to squash it every time.

God, I truly am an asshole.

“One of those cool thrift shops. They have a lot of pretty old things there.”

I wonder if Evelyn takes her there out of need or actual pleasure for the cheap, secondhand items. I resign myself to pushing back my plan of finding Evelyn, because there is no way I’m going to break the little girl’s heart.

“Can you do something for me, though” I ask her.

“Of course! Anything.” She wraps her tiny hands around my bicep and looks at me like I’m about to give her the most important mission in the world.

“Could I have a glass of water, please?”

“Coming right up!” She jumps off the sofa and disappears somewhere behind me.

I chuckle at her enthusiasm, and pull my phone out of my pocket. Before I pop it on the table, I shoot a text to Maddox.

Have you seen Evelyn? She’s not home. Worried about drugs. Can you find out where she is?

He’s the only one of us who knows about her previous adventure and has been keeping an eye on her. I feel like a dick for using the drugs as an excuse to find out where she is, but the alternative is to tell Maddox that I rejected her attraction to me yet again. Obviously, I can’t tell him that.

On it. I’ll text when I find her.

Thanks.

“Here you go.” Maya hands me the glass of water like it’s liquid gold, and plops back next to me as I down half of it.

Placing my phone on the wood coffee table before me, I settle in for a reading session. I guess I have to brush off my intonation skills, because I think the little one will demand full immersion in the story.

Yet, even as I start reading, my mind still drifts to one question.

Where the hell is Evelyn?