38
KYLO
W ords couldn’t describe the weight that had been lifted from my shoulders now that I’d finally forced my blood down Evie’s little throat.
There was nowhere she could run to ever be free of me. I would be able to keep her safe forever.
But even more satisfying was seeing Evie’s walls finally crumble. She’d let me in. And I cherished her trust in me, her beautiful vulnerability, more than anything in this world.
What she’d let slip about impurity making her worthless only confirmed my greatest fears. That Evie’s past was gruesome. It was no wonder she’d learned to run, to stay vigilant and guarded, to protect her human brother at all costs.
For her to trust someone like me in spite of her suffering was a gift that melted my cold, dead heart at its core.
I’d grown accustomed to the piercing ache of my fangs by now, only occasionally needing to take deep breaths and sober myself as a precaution against bloodlust. But gods, it was only getting stronger. My need for her. My growing dependence that would lock into place irreversibly the moment her blood met my tongue.
But Evie made no move to ask me to feed from her, and I would protect her boundaries at all costs.
When I threw her on the bed, she giggled, and the sound squeezed at my heart in a way that only she could pull off. She made me feel so human. So raw.
I was obsessed with her perfect body, this body I’d claimed by blood. I kissed both sides of her smiling mouth before sucking on her neck. I relished the way she arched toward me, her fingers brushing through my hair.
She moaned, and gods above and below, I couldn’t get enough of her sounds. Her cries of pleasure, her desperate pleading, her squeals of pain. I fucking loved them all.
I sucked on a nipple harshly just to hear her moan turn into a cry before releasing the sensitive peak.
The only marks I left were love bites, a trail that went all the way to her stomach. I sucked on the flesh above her womb, that same preoccupation consuming my mind with the idea of Evie carrying my child.
It was a primal, possessive urge—yet another way to claim her, to publicly mark her in the eyes of the world as mine. But it was also a desire that felt uniquely human, an off-shoot of my adoration for her, my need to protect what was mine and give her all of myself.
At the thought of her breasts swelling, her stomach rounding with my seed planted inside her, my cock was ready to bury deep.
Not that turned vampires were capable of reproduction.
When my lips met her folds, I wasted no time pulling her aching clit into my mouth and creating a pulsing sensation. She bucked, and I slipped my hands under her and lifted her hips as I feasted. I sucked at her sensitive flesh before moving my tongue down her seam, tasting all of her, circling that needy entrance before plunging inside. I moved back up slowly, closing over her sensitive flesh again.
Evie’s moans were a drug as potent as her sweet, earthy taste. I couldn’t get enough of any of it. The last time I’d devoured her, the scent of her lingering on me was the only thing that had kept me sane. Washing her off my face felt like blasphemy.
“Mm-hmm,” I praised wordlessly, letting my voice vibrate across her desperate center. “You’re being so good for me. Do you still want more, baby?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Manners,” I corrected.
She paused. “Yes, please.”
“Good girl. Keep those legs spread. Do you trust me, Evie?”
She paused again. “Yes.”
I ran two fingers down her slick core, dipping inside her before moving lower, teasing her second hole.
“Do I need to reclaim this hole for myself, baby? Or has it never been played with before?”
Evie shuddered, and her growing fear and need for release created the most mouthwatering symphony of scents in her blood.
“No, never,” she whispered.
“Is that a limit? Or are you open to exploring?”
My slick fingers continued their teasing circle as I waited, merely brushing over the tight entrance as Evie squirmed.
“It’s not a limit. I’m open to exploring.”
“Thank you for being vulnerable and using your words, baby,” I praised her. “I’m going to claim your ass now, and you’re going to say thank you . Understood?”
She made some sort of adorable breathy sound that I interpreted as an affirmative.
“Relax,” I instructed. “It’s going to feel strange at first, but if you relax, it will become pleasurable.”
I spit on her tight little hole, and one of my slick fingers slowly moved past the entrance. My mouth closed over her clit again, sucking and driving her back toward an orgasm, distracting her as she acclimated to this new, uncomfortable sensation.
I nearly laughed with satisfaction as the finger slowly, gently eased deeper, and I unlocked a brand-new Evie noise.
“Feels… mmm…”
This time I couldn’t help but chuckle at her inability to form words. “Breathe, sweet girl. You’re doing so well. What do we say?”
“Thank you, Kylo,” she managed, raspy and slurred.
My tongue lapped at her as she trembled and moaned louder. As soon as I began pulsing again, I pushed the finger in her ass to the hilt.
Evie’s orgasm was violent. She nearly screamed as her body tensed and squirmed. I held her in place, forcing her to take every sensation as she crashed down around me.
I felt her muscles spasm around my finger, her juices coating my face as I let her ride wave after violent wave. When she was nothing but a puddle of thoughtless euphoria on my bed, I slowly eased out of her.
I left her for only a minute to clean up, and when I returned, she was flushed and breathless. Those pretty gray eyes were wide, and her features relaxed when she saw me. The fact that my presence soothed her was everything I could ask for.
I cleaned her up with a warm, damp towel before pulling her into my arms.
“No talk, brain blank,” she whispered.
“Understood.” I searched her face for any signs of dissociation or displeasure, finding only calm satisfaction in her angelic features.
When she wrapped herself around me like a vine, I was equally content. My shadows finally escaped my skin to billow over her. They needed her close, as if they were as desperately, heedlessly in love with Evie as I was.
As I cooked dinner, Evie did that cute thing she did when she followed me around like a baby duck. I grinned at her as she shifted around the kitchen as I did, telling me about her new candle spell idea.
I didn’t even think she realized she was doing it. I’d walk to the stove, and she’d follow me there, then I’d walk back to the counter, and she’d move in tandem.
“Why are you smiling at me like that?” she suddenly asked, mid-stream-of-thought.
I shrugged. “No reason. I love how passionate you are. Are these beings you call spirits all ancestral? Or are they more than that?”
She launched back into her enthusiastic dialogue, being the perfect good girl she was and always staying within my reach.
“No, some are deities and others are unrecognizable, strange beings. I’m not entirely sure what all of them are, just beings of the otherworld. Like faeries and nature spirits, and sometimes beings of the heavens or hells. It’s easier to call them all spirits, or allies. There are some allies who have been with me since birth, I suspect because they’re some sort of ancestor—whether literally or in a more cosmic, spiritual sense, from past incarnations. Others come and go depending on what I’m working on. When I do spell work, it can be like putting up a job application. I call to me spirits who might be interested in helping me, which can add more players to my team. But occasionally the demands they make in return aren’t something I’m interested in. It has to go both ways. Things don’t usually turn nasty unless blatant disrespect is involved. The otherworld is very forgiving when one approaches with politeness, reciprocity, clear intentions, and earnestness. I actually think the gods and the realm of the spirit have more of a sense of humor than most earthly beings I’ve encountered.”
I could listen to Evie speak for hours.
For a moment, I just stood there, processing her words with my knife hovering above a hot pepper.
“You have this whole other world you’re living in, at all times, don’t you?” I asked her.
Evie batted those long lashes, her gray eyes bright. She shrugged, suddenly very interested in the platter of cheeses and crackers I’d set out for her.
“With all the reading and magick and visioning, sometimes it feels like there are more than just two worlds,” she said softly. “Like there are infinite.”
“How do you ground yourself?” I returned to chopping the pepper. The aroma of sautéing vegetables and simmering rice filled the air.
Evie looked back up at me. “I don’t open myself up to a lot of visioning unless I’m in a trance state, or if the force making contact is especially powerful. Like a deity.” Her eyes glazed over for a moment, as if remembering something. “That way when I’m here in the physical dimension, I don’t tend to see things with my physical eyes that don’t belong. Only mild enhancements, such as auras, but mostly I see messages or intuition inside my own mind. I have no interest in losing touch with the world in which I live. There has to be a balance, or witches can lose their way. If too much of you is in the ethereal, then you’re not really living. And living—truly immersing yourself in your own mortality—is kind of the whole point of being here at all.”
I watched her take a bite of cheese on a cracker as she stared off into space. She was unlike anyone I’d ever met. The way she spoke felt ancient, far beyond her years. I wanted to consume those pretty pink lips again, to leave her breathless as I searched for the bottom of her mysterious depths.
She glanced over at me, searching my face for my reaction. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been rambling. I know it all probably sounds?—”
“Beautiful?” I interjected. “Eloquent? Thoughtful? Powerful?”
Evie’s mouth closed. Her eyes sparked with such lovely surprise.
“Why are you so used to apologizing for your own existence? It quite honestly makes me murderous,” I growled.
She shifted on her feet, toying with another cracker. “No one has ever shared your reactions to my magick or musings,” she said softly. “The owners at Celeste’s are— were —safe, but I was never able to talk about more than just green witchcraft for my own protection. Idris and Mena let me rattle on, but that’s because they’re family. Others haven’t really liked hearing me talk about these things.”
I carried the cutting board to the rice dish, scraping the bits of red into the mixture and stirring. Evie’s sudden presence at my side was almost enough to melt my growing frown.
“Why did you stay with him, Evie?” I asked her.
She went rigid.
I walked to the sink, deeply cleansing the spicy pepper from my hands with soap.
When I turned back to her, she was looking at the ground. “I thought I was the problem,” she said with a shrug, her cheeks reddening as if with embarrassment. “I believed the best in Jacob, because I saw why he was the way he was. His parents, his friends, his fears. He had really good reasons for everything—for why he shouldn’t have to make certain efforts for me, why I was unreasonable, why I needed too much from him. I thought if only I was a better, more accommodating version of myself, then maybe I could convince him to love me and be kind to me.”
Her eyes were glued to her white frilly socks. She sighed, slowly raising her gaze to mine. Her smile was sad, but her big gray irises glimmered as if with newfound strength.
“I stayed because I always hoped it would be better.”
What a heartbreaking admission. I wanted to slit Jason’s throat all over again.
“Of course you did, angel,” I said softly, kissing her forehead and stroking her cheek. “I fucking love your hopefulness.”
Gods. That idiot had Evie convinced that he was the best she could do, and that in and of itself was a tragedy. I was nearly vibrating with irritation. I converted it into fuel, into motivation to undo every single negative belief a lesser man had planted into Evie’s beautiful soul.
“I love your compassion, too,” I said. I held her face in my hands. “But the majority of people don’t go through life intentionally harming people. Just because someone can rationalize the pain they inflict doesn’t mean you need to shove your feelings under the rug for them. Your feelings matter, Evie. Just as much as someone’s logic. ”
She looked doubtful, like she didn’t quite believe me, but wanted to desperately.
“He sounds lazy, immature, and selfish.”
Something sparked in Evie’s eyes, as if I were giving words to her most buried truths.
“I’m glad he’s not in your life anymore.”
I was also glad that I’d made him piss himself with fear like the man baby he was.
“You were never the problem,” I said, stroking her silky blonde hair. “When parents neglect us emotionally, we may grow up to unconsciously repeat that same pattern in other relationships. Because it’s comfortable. This belief that we are deficient, that we need to earn another’s love by being someone we’re not. Because we were taught that who we are authentically will never be good enough.”
“Stop,” Evie said, just like she had after I’d brushed her hair, when I told her she was worthy. “Please stop.”
“Okay,” I said, watching those soft, frightened lips curl.
“I have no interest in being psychoanalyzed. Let’s leave the past in the past where it belongs.”
When she spoke of magick, she sounded ancient and wise. Now, I saw plainly her innocence, her youth.
Because anyone who’d been around a while knew that the past refused to be left behind so easily.