60
EVIE
I recognized the memory that took shape around me. Shapes cloaked in black slunk through the house, but even more frightening were the monsters drenched in crimson. My parents were standing close together, at the outskirts of the gathering as they plated food. They didn’t hear or see me approach behind them. I stood there, as my mother opened her mouth.
It’s a disaster. He’s no longer ?—
I put my hands over my ears, and I screamed. I didn’t want to hear what came next, to feel what came next.
I screamed so loudly that I woke up, except the world I opened my eyes to was strange. My bed was outside, under the stars. A crow sat at the foot of my bedframe, watching over me protectively.
Figures moved in the distance, and my heart pulled toward them. I half walked, half floated over the grass between comforting pine trees. The energy was alive, celebratory.
The two figures stood before a fire, laughing. A man dressed in a billowy white top, hands in his pockets. A woman in otherworldly purple.
Hekate turned, her black hair shiny, her skin fair. She took her maternal form tonight. Though she could also appear as a maiden or crone.
My throat tightened under her warm gaze. She was proud of me.
The man turned next, and my eyes filled with tears. “Princeton?”
He said just one word.
“ Bloom .”
When I woke up, my dreams were hazy. I remembered only those jagged edges. The way Princeton’s eyes had reflected fire, his lips in that comforting, trademark smirk. Hekate’s strength and care that was somehow untarnished by her violence and shadows.
It made no sense and too much sense both at the same time.
Kylo had come home after I’d already fallen asleep, so I tried not to wake him when I slipped out of bed to fetch coffee.
He heard me anyway, his voice reaching me as soon as I faced the door.
“I love you Evie,” he said sleepily. “I’m sorry I’ve gone so long without saying that.”
“It’s been, like, a day.” I giggled. I retreated back to kiss Kylo’s cheek. “But I love you too. Go back to sleep. I know you came home late. I’ll be in the living room reading.”
I wasn’t even sure how much sleeping Kylo was doing, as every time I woke up, he too, seemed to be awake. He never once complained. Just as he barely mentioned Princeton’s death, or the toll it had clearly taken on his spirit.
Like he’d freely admitted, Kylo had decided to take on the weight of the world rather than confront his own vulnerability.
And that was a quality I empathized with as much as I despised it. Because my hypocritical ass knew that it wasn’t healthy. I could tell he thought he needed to be strong for me. But really, I just wanted him to feel safe enough to not be strong for once.
I was on my second cup of coffee by the time he found me reading and taking notes for my upcoming new moon ritual.
“What are you working on?” he asked, joining me at the dining room table where I’d set up my books and workspace.
He’d allowed Allie to take me back to pick up my things and explain to Mena where I’d be, but only with several other guards lurking around and scanning the perimeter. Mena thought Kylo and I were merely engaging in a sexual honeymoon, and I refused to pop that bubble. It was a much nicer thought than reality.
“A new protection spell,” I said.
It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth either. Kylo had enough on his plate. I didn’t need him thinking that there were even more enemies plotting against me in the darkness. Even if it felt silly to compare Jacob’s parents to the lethal born.
Unless of course they were planning on tipping off the born about my magick.
Gods. Only seven more days now until the new moon. And, mercifully, so far so good.
“I want Mena to be safe while I’m away,” I said.
“She will be, baby,” Kylo said. “There are always patrols in your neighborhood.”
I closed my notebook, pretending to be nonchalant about it as I sipped more coffee. “Today’s the day I told Idris I’d come visit him on campus,” I reminded Kylo, chewing on my bottom lip nervously.
Kylo nodded, unable to hide the flicker of unease that had first eclipsed his eyes. “Of course. You need to see him.” His lips turned down.
“You want to come with me, don’t you?” I asked, studying Kylo’s discomfort.
“I’m sorry, Evie,” he said. “I want to give you space. I know this isn’t normal.”
“What happened wasn’t normal,” I said. “It’s okay.”
I pushed away the voice in the back of my mind that was screaming in protest. Reminding me of the importance of space and boundaries and maintaining my own agency. I reminded that part of myself that Kylo was only trying to protect me.
He didn’t want me to end up like Aisling. Or Princeton.
Kylo wasn’t Kylo right now. And if I could make his life just a tiny bit easier by giving him this sense of control, then I would.
The vision of Princeton from my dream was still ripe in my mind as I wondered what Kylo and his clan had been discussing.
“You need a witch to take Princeton’s place, don’t you?” I asked, though the question was more rhetorical than my next ones. “Why haven’t you mentioned that to me?” My brows furrowed, discomfort making me itchy as I squirmed in my seat. “Blade and Harmony know what I am…”
Kylo straightened in his seat, his gaze sharpening on my lips.
“Why—why not me ?”
The space between us was heavy as the silence enveloped us. Kylo stared at me with a deep frown, those intense eyes probing my every feature.
It was a strange feeling that grew inside of me, this harsh condemnation of the mere thought of joining the turned, juxtaposed with this nervous, confused curiosity. Because I was the obvious solution. Yet perhaps they thought I was too unstable or weak.
“I would never ask that of you,” Kylo said sharply, shaking his head.
“Because you know I would say no ?” I asked, fiddling with my hands as I avoided his intense eyes.
“Angel, I wouldn’t allow it even if you said yes . It’s not what you want from this life, and it’s certainly not what I want for you. You deserve to open your own shop, like you’ve been dreaming and planning for. If you want to sell some of your goods to the clan, I would welcome it. But you’re not one of us. You’re not him .”
My eyes flashed to his, noticing the way he’d scoffed at the mere idea of me joining the clan or being comparable to Princeton.
The indignation and hurt in my guts made no fucking sense. Because he was right. I wasn’t one of them, and I didn’t want to be. It was the last thing I wanted.
So why was this conversation making me feel this way?
“Do Blade and Harmony agree with you?” I asked.
Kylo looked taken aback. “Doesn’t matter. They don’t know you.”
My stomach dipped, as if I’d taken a blow.
Now Kylo appeared utterly confused, an expression that rarely graced his features. It had always seemed like I’d been an easy puzzle for him to solve.
Until now.
“How dire is the situation?” I asked. “Please don’t lie to me.”
Kylo sighed. “It’s not ideal, but it won’t be an emergency until the born make their next move and prey on our weakness. For now, we’re okay. We have time.”
I wasn’t sure which one of us he was most trying to convince. My hyper-empathy was now absorbing his stress, weighing it in my palms in search of the truth.
Princeton’s murder scene flashed across my mind’s eye, and I quickly stood from the table, mumbling something about getting more water.
Reality shifted back into place. This wasn’t my problem to fix. My power was bound and blocked for a reason. Kylo’s unspoken counterargument was the correct one.
I wasn’t a powerful witch.
I was just a liability.
And I had no interest in dedicating my life to the violence I’d narrowly escaped—the darkness I’d run from while carrying a sobbing seven-year-old boy in my arms.