Chapter 9
I n the back recesses of her mind, Joanna questioned each movement. No doubt a man like Edward Vaughn had already experienced a few embraces in his life, and she couldn’t stop herself from wondering if hers was as pleasing as those other mysterious women’s. Heavens knew that few people excelled at things on the first attempt, and Joanna yearned to please him.
Or at the very least, not make a fool of herself.
The feel of his lips and hands on her amplified those fears, yet conscious thought drifted farther into the background as she relaxed into his hold. Soon, Joanna couldn’t entirely consider anything beyond the sensations flooding her—and the eagerness of Edward’s movements. Embracing them, she threw herself into the moment, refusing to allow herself to question it any longer or do anything beyond enjoy her first kiss. With her Edward.
Her chest felt too small for her heart, and her breathing quickened as the sensations consumed her. His passion met hers, and Joanna felt tears gathering in her eyes as the feel of his desire clung to them. It was unlike anything she’d ever felt before, and no amount of dreaming had allowed her to experience even a fraction of the sentiment brewing between her and her husband.
Joanna couldn’t say if they remained there a minute or an hour, and she didn’t care in the slightest. Edward’s arms remained locked around her as their lips parted, their lungs heaving as they stared at one another, though Joanna couldn’t help smiling at the dazed expression on his face.
“Goodness,” she whispered, bringing with it another blush at the inanity of that single word. But Edward nodded, his head jerking in agreement as he blinked at her, and Joanna’s face heated for an entirely new (and more pleasant) reason.
Edward’s eyes fell to her lips, his own so close that his breath tickled her skin, but when he leaned in, a knock at the door jerked him to a halt. With a frown, he glanced at the interruption and back at her, and Joanna leaned in to hide her face in the crook of his neck.
They were in a church! With their families standing on the other side of that door! Joanna was certain she would never live down the embarrassment, and when Edward moved to release her, she shook her head.
“No, please. I cannot face them now—not like—when we’ve—and they—” Joanna stumbled over her words until he graced her with a gentle smile, which stole away her ability to speak.
“As I said, all brides and grooms have to suffer this sort of embarrassment,” he whispered, untangling his limbs from hers. “It’s as much a tradition as the rest of the ceremony.”
Then, giving her a wink, Edward straightened his jacket and threaded her arm through his. If not for his strength, Joanna would’ve climbed through the window and escaped, and when the door opened to show those knowing looks and wry smiles, she held fast to her husband.
Stepping forward, his aunt bussed Joanna’s cheek with a word of congratulations as each family member took turns greeting the couple, though her father was nowhere to be seen. Mr. Poole handed the marriage certificate to Joanna, and she stared at the elaborate script that legally bound the pair as husband and wife in the eyes of the church and the world.
Edward led them through the nave, and when they stepped past the front doors, she spied her father standing in front of the church, his hands tucked behind him as he studied the carriage standing at the ready. As Edward’s time in London had only been a visit, his single trunk and portmanteau were lost amongst her mountain of baggage piled atop and along the back, and for the briefest moment, Joanna worried about the effort it would take to deliver it all to Yorkshire.
The couple strode to the carriage as their well-wishers cheered them on, and a servant waited at the ready with the door open whilst Papa merely stood there, not looking at his daughter or son-in-law. Edward paused a moment before guiding them past, but Joanna pulled him to a stop.
“Goodbye, Papa,” she said.
The gentleman nodded as he rocked on his heels, his gaze darting around the churchyard and street. “Goodbye, Joanna.”
And with that, he turned away, and her heart clenched. Was that all the farewell she was to expect from her own father? She felt Edward’s attention on her as he glanced between his wife and father-in-law, but Joanna couldn’t spare a thought for what he must be thinking whilst her heart squeezed in her chest.
Papa stopped, keeping his back to them for a long moment. Then, turning on his heel, he marched back to her, his gaze on the ground, and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Congratulations. I wish you the best.”
The last word quivered as though struggling to come out, and Joanna stared at her father, though he didn’t meet her gaze. Giving Edward a sharp nod, the gentleman strode away, his footsteps never wavering, nor did he spare a backward glance, though Joanna watched until he was well out of sight.
Forcing a smile, Joanna glanced at her husband and found him watching her with a furrowed brow, but she had no explanation for Papa’s behavior. She couldn’t label that a tender farewell any more than she could definitively claim the gentleman would miss her now that she was gone. Papa’s feelings were his own.
Joanna squeezed Edward’s arm to reassure him and prayed he wouldn’t ask any further questions as he helped her into the carriage.
*
The discomfort heaped upon the couple when they’d emerged from the vestry had been great, indeed. Matters weren’t helped that Joanna’s complexion made it appear as though they’d been up to something more shocking than a kiss or that her blush deepened with each jest, which only encouraged his cousins to twit them more.
Yet all that unease paled in comparison to the farewell Eddie had just witnessed.
His aunt and uncle had displayed more affection for Joanna during their farewell than her father, and now, she perched on the carriage seat, holding onto that bright expression she so often showed to the world—the smile that was a touch too sharp as her eyes pled for everyone to ignore the strain in her posture.
“Are you comfortable?” he asked, climbing in after her.
A jerky nod and she turned her gaze to the window, but Eddie didn’t call for the carriage to move. Even if he disregarded the scene he’d just witnessed, it was impossible to ignore that her skirts were twisted about and pulling awkwardly at her.
“Here, allow me,” he said, reaching over to help her up again. “Your skirts are tangled.”
“I am well enough. No need to worry.” Such a cheery tone, but like her expression, it had too much bite to be genuine.
“It will take just a moment—”
“All is well,” she insisted.
Eddie frowned, but Joanna didn’t see it because her attention was fixed on the window, her hands held primly in her lap. With a sigh, he decided to ignore it as the journey to the train station wasn’t far. Calling to the driver, he settled in beside his wife and waved at their families whilst the carriage trundled down the road.
What to do?
At this juncture, he supposed anything would be an improvement after that rushed wedding. Eddie had thought it best to keep to his original return date since his parents were likely brimming with questions concerning their son’s mysterious marriage, but now, all he could think was how much that decision had cost Joanna.
There’d been no engagement festivities. No putting the finishing touches on her trousseau. No wedding breakfast (not that there’d been many in attendance to partake in the celebration). Joanna didn’t even have a proper wedding gown. The only thing about the marriage ceremony that had been remotely acceptable was the ring he’d placed on her finger, and it was a miracle Eddie had thought to purchase one. It wasn’t as though weddings were grand occasions, but surely a bride wished for something more than a hurried exchange of vows before being whisked away from the only home she’d ever known.
What harm would it have done to postpone his departure by a few days? A fortnight? Would that have been such a great burden? Yet he had charged forward with the plan he’d had in his mind, leaving Joanna to simply accept her lot.
Could one fail at being a husband within the first hour of marriage? Eddie certainly seemed determined to do so. But then, how was he to change what had already happened? Before he could think what to say, Joanna turned and glanced at him.
“We are married,” she said in a startled whisper. “Everything has changed, yet I feel precisely the same.”
Eddie chuckled and gave her a wry smile. “Isn’t that the truth? After so much anticipation, I had expected to feel something…”
“More,” she supplied, her expression matching his own. Turning her gaze back to the window, she asked, “How long will it take for us to arrive in Thornsby?”
“We’ll take a train to Leeds and spend the night in an inn, and then I’ll hire a carriage to take us home from there. By tomorrow afternoon, we should be settled at Hawthorne House.” In truth, Eddie wasn’t entirely certain how to hire a private carriage, though his uncle had assured him it was a simple thing. In other circumstances, the cost would’ve been far too restrictive, but one’s wedding trip home was the precise time to indulge in such a luxury. At least he could make the journey physically comfortable.
“I have only been on a train a few times in my life,” she said, perking up.
“But isn’t your country house in Richmond?” he asked.
“It is, but we rarely visit. Papa doesn’t like it because it reminds him too much of Mama.” But before Eddie could consider that statement or how to react to it, she twisted in her seat to look at him, casting him a broad smile. “But I cannot wait to see your home and meet your family. You’ve spoken so much about them that I feel as though I already know them.”
Thankfully, Eddie had the good sense to conceal the surprise that shot through him as he realized he couldn’t say the same of his wife. Casting his thoughts back to their conversations (or what he could recall of them), he couldn’t draw forth a single thing he knew about her family—beyond the fact that they had a country house in Richmond and that her mother had passed away, which necessitated her aunt coming into Town to play chaperone.
How did one move forward in such an awkward situation? Certainly, they were more than acquaintances—even friends of a sort—but as Eddie considered the lady at his side, he realized how little he knew her. It wasn’t as though one discussed the nuances of family politics during a polka.
The marriage may not be of their choosing, but that didn’t mean it was guaranteed to fail. If Eddie wished for it to succeed, he needed to befriend his bride—and stop being a poor excuse for a husband, at the very least.