Marry in Haste (The Vaughns #2)

Chapter 21

J oanna made another noise that sounded as though it was a question in return.

“From the very beginning, you’ve called me that, though no one ever does, and I’ve long wondered why,” he clarified.

“Do you want me to call you Eddie?” she mumbled.

Despite knowing she couldn’t see it, he couldn’t help shrugging. “Edward” seemed a touch formal, but mostly, he’d never thought of calling himself anything but the diminutive that he’d carried since birth.

Joanna’s eyes opened the slightest amount, though her body remained relaxed as she gave him a faint smile. “Eddie is a child’s name, and you are a man. You may choose to approach life with joie de vivre , but laughing at life’s absurdities isn’t childish.”

Breathing deepening, she began to drift off again as she added, “I will try to remember to call you Eddie if you wish, but in my mind, you have been and will always be Edward. I think you do yourself a disservice by hiding behind the nickname.”

By the end of the statement, it was clear Joanna was gone once more, and Eddie stared at her for a long moment before nudging her.

“What do you mean I hide behind it?” he said with a frown as he propped himself against the headboard.

Drawing in a deep breath, Joanna forced her eyes open and stretched before settling into her pillow to stare at him. “You accuse me of people-pleasing, but I think you are just as guilty, Edward . You are unhappy in your role as the jester of the Vaughn family and want your father to give you more responsibility, but rather than kicking up a fuss, you shrink into the background. You are a talented physician and shouldn’t be shunted to the side.”

“I am passable—”

A scoff cut him short. “What rubbish.”

But he answered that with a questioning raise of his brow. “I’ve never treated you, so how would you know?”

Joanna forced open only one eye and still managed to give him a hard look. “Firstly, you were raised by two excellent medical practitioners and hail from a line of distinguished doctors. And despite being headquartered in a village hardly large enough to keep it solvent, your family’s apothecary shop is thriving and trusted enough that people even send for your medicines from London.”

“Being raised in that environment doesn’t guarantee anything,” he argued. “Sadie hasn’t the slightest interest in it.”

Joanna shifted in bed, rising so that she was seated against the headboard as she crossed her arms. “No, but she still boasts a better-than-average understanding and skill.”

“True, but she hasn’t been labeled a failure by the very people who were charged with educating her.” The words slipped out before Eddie knew they were coming, the bitterness so thick in his tone that his mouth twisted at the taste of them on his tongue.

Gaping, Joanna stared at him. “Your parents said that to you?”

Letting out a heavy sigh, he shook his head. “Of course not. Though it’s clear Mother is always convinced I am one poor choice away from becoming like her irresponsible brother, she would never say so. I am speaking of the lecturers at university.”

“They said that you would be a failure?” she asked, her tone growing more incredulous with each question.

Shifting in place, Eddie considered that old memory and dusted it off. “I was nearing the end of my education, and Dr. Faegan asked to speak with me alone in his office. I didn’t know what he wanted, but it wasn’t unusual for the lecturers to meet with students to discuss their progress, and like the fool I am, I assumed it would be a pleasant conversation—only to have him sit me down and chastise me.”

Eddie huffed to himself. “At first, I thought they were accusing me of stealing some of the specimens from the dissecting room, as some had gone missing a few days prior. But no. He wanted to tell me that I was destined to be a terrible physician.”

Joanna’s mouth slackened further, but before she could say anything, Eddie hurried on.

“He and the other lecturers had been discussing me and were concerned enough that they brought me to the attention of the senior staff, and they asked Dr. Faegan to speak with me—”

“Were you failing in your studies?” she asked, her brows pulled low.

Eddie puffed out his cheeks and shook his head. “Thank heavens, no. I had completed the required reading and most of the suggested reading, else they would’ve held me back.”

Pausing, he considered that moment, and the feelings that had plagued him then revived, filling him with the same shock and frustration as before. It crackled through his veins, seeping into his tone as he continued.

“Apparently, the young men stealing ‘bits and bobs’ was merely ‘youthful hijinks.’ Not something to condone but entirely unremarkable.” Crossing his arms tight around his chest, he added, “No, my bedside manner was ‘abysmal’ and needed addressing. I was too often laughing and faffing about when visiting patients and was ‘making a mockery of their solemn profession.’ My behavior was unsuitable for their hallowed institution and disrespected my great family legacy.”

Eddie stared at the footboard and forced back a cringe as silence followed that pronouncement. The lady at his side said not a single thing, and that void stretched out for so long that he couldn’t help looking at her to see if she had fallen asleep once more. But her body was rigid; Joanna’s lungs heaved as her arms tightened around her chest, her glare boring into the footboard.

“Joanna?”

Her eyes darted to him, all the exhaustion now burned away as she scowled. “How dare he say such a thing!”

For all that Joanna was a tightly wound person, Eddie had never seen her worked into a furious dither (only the frantic sort), and her temper, once sparked, burned hot as she cursed that man, everyone at the hospital, and anyone remotely tied to the moment. Pushing away from the headboard, she turned to face him, tucking her legs beneath her.

“Do not listen to that…that…” Joanna fairly vibrated as she struggled with her words. “The devil take him! There isn’t a name worthy of his horridness.”

Eddie’s brows rose at the curse that fell from her tongue; it was the first sign that her father had played some part in her childhood as no woman would ever teach her such a colorful phrase.

She leaned forward, her eyes pleading with him, adding weight to her words. “He is wrong. Absolutely, unequivocally, and inexcusably wrong about you, Edward. He couldn’t be more wrong. I have seen how seriously you take your work—”

Eddie tried to argue that point, but Joanna continued over him.

“How many of your colleagues are as well read as you?” she demanded, though her question must’ve been rhetorical because she sped forward without pausing for breath. “You are forever studying some article or book, and you come to London to hear lectures and keep abreast of how your field is changing in these modern times. You expend effort and expense to keep yourself knowledgeable.”

“As I have said, I have the time—”

“No!” Her scowl deepened. “Other men would simply laze about, yet you spend your time honing your skills. Are you truly going to try to convince me that you were any different at university? That you were flippant and lazy and bound to fail at your profession simply because you prefer to buoy your patients’ spirits while you heal their bodies?”

Though she paused as though awaiting his response, her question felt rhetorical, and before Eddie could think what to say, she continued.

“Medicine is so much more than diagnosing diseases and prescribing medicines, Edward. In many ways, you are just as much there to reassure people and provide for their hearts and minds—which you excel at.”

Eddie tried to reply, but she held up her hand, and he snapped his mouth shut, his brows lowering as he watched her battle with her next words.

“The physician who attended my birth was renowned for his skill and learning. Father spared no expense to secure him and ensure we received the best care, and though the gentleman was everything he professed to be, his abilities couldn’t save my mother.” Joanna’s expression fell, her lips trembling as her eyes turned away from him. “I have never blamed him for it. Women die far too often in childbirth, and he did his best. But my nursemaid was in attendance and told me about his behavior during and after.”

With pained eyes, she held Eddie’s gaze. “The loss devastated my father, and in his most vulnerable moment, Dr. Orton compounded that pain by expressing only the barest hint of sorrow before suggesting Papa remarry quickly as a man has no business raising a child on his own. Even going so far as to call my mother’s death ‘commonplace’ as though it were an inconvenience and not a cataclysmic blow.”

The very breath in his lungs froze as everything inside Eddie shuddered at the thought of such callousness, though he knew such behavior wasn’t out of the ordinary amongst his profession, which, for all their efforts to eradicate disease, was infected with overinflated pride.

“Oh, Joanna,” he whispered with a shake of his head. “That is terrible.”

With a watery and rueful smile, she sighed. “Nurse Smith explained what happened when I was struggling to grasp my father’s aloof behavior, and though I do not think it absolves Papa, I can see how the physician’s callousness made an already difficult situation all the worse.”

Those pleading eyes held his as she leaned forward. “But you, Edward, you are empathetic and thoughtful. You ensure that your patients are not merely healed but cared for . Yes, you prefer to laugh through life, but you aren’t flippant or disrespectful, and when the situation warrants it, you are as solid and responsible as any. You raise your patients’ spirits, which helps them through those darkest times when they are frightened and vulnerable. That isn’t something to criticize but to celebrate and cultivate. I admire that about you.”

Eddie could hardly breathe as she spoke. Gone was the quaking lady who babbled at the slightest provocation. Though she was doing so now, the desperation wasn’t on her behalf but his, pleading for him to believe her. And believe in himself.

Though habit wanted to cast aside her ramblings as the empty rhetoric of someone eager to please, the certainty in her voice allowed them to burrow deep into his heart. Despite having many strong ties in his life to good people, he couldn’t recall a time when anyone had spoken with such zeal on his behalf, battling his demons to help him see the world as she did.

“You are such a good man, Edward,” she whispered, reaching forward to take her hand in his. “How can you not see it?”

The question rang through him, and he couldn’t hold himself back as he dragged her into his embrace. Heat burned through him as Eddie swept her up in a kiss, wrapping her into his arms as she settled against his chest with a contented hum. There was no timidity or caution as he surrendered to the feelings sweeping through him.

And when they were both short of breath, he pulled back just enough to look at her in the lamplight. Joanna’s hair was swept up in a braid, though curls had pulled free, framing her face.

“I don’t know what I’ve done to earn such devotion, Joanna, but thank you,” he whispered, his lips brushing hers.

Though she looked ready to launch into another lecture about precisely why he deserved it, Eddie stopped her short with a kiss. There was so much in his heart at present, and he allowed it to flow through every touch and caress, showing her how grateful he was for her confidence.