Chapter 2
2
HOWELL
I zipped up the last compartment of my hiking pack. My fingers skimmed the items one more time: first-aid kit, compass, map, water bottles, and enough trail mix to pacify a small army of squirrels. Everything was in its place, ready for the eager group of beginners I’d be leading up Lookout Mountain.
Six people. That was a nice number for this relatively easy hike. Relative being the keyword. Any activity in the mountains could go from an enjoyable stroll to a disastrous nightmare with one slip, one slide, one second of inattention.
Was there anyone on the list I knew? I scanned the names, blinking when my eye fell on the last one: Onno Veldhuis. The sweet Dutch guy from the kayaking trip last week. A tingle of excitement shot through me, quick and unexpected, like the first jolt of a caffeine rush.
Something about him, even just his name on the page, sparked an enthusiasm I hadn’t felt in years. It wasn’t merely his shy charm or the way he talked when nervous, filling the air with words to ward off silence. No, he drew me in with his authenticity, his honesty, his vulnerability.
I’d felt so bad for him when he’d crashed into me, dumping us both into the water. For me, it had been nothing more than an accident, but he’d taken it hard. I was glad to see him try something else.
Still, I triple-checked my emergency supplies when I loaded my backpack, then grabbed my keys and headed out the door. The sun was already painting the sky with streaks of gold and pink, a perfect backdrop for a day in the mountains.
The brisk morning air nipped at my cheeks as I made my way to the designated meeting spot—a small clearing near the edge of the parking area, where the forest loomed like a silent guardian. Within minutes, the people who had signed up arrived: a mom and dad with a ten-year-old girl, an older couple, and one tall figure standing slightly apart from the rest. Onno.
“Welcome to the beginner’s hike. I’m Howell Moorhouse, your guide for today. We’ll take a scenic route that should give us some great views without being too strenuous.” I looked at each person in turn, ensuring they felt included.
The five others had assured me they all had hiking experience. That didn’t mean that was actually the case. I regularly ran into people who, for some bewildering reason, thought it was smart to lie about their experience with outdoor activities. Apparently, they figured admitting a lack of experience was worse than risking not only their own safety but that of others as well. Somebody would have to explain that to me like I was four because it made zero sense.
Onno, however, was honest about being new at hiking in the mountains. “I’m from the Netherlands,” he said in an apologetic tone. “We don’t have mountains.”
Alicia, the ten-year-old, looked puzzled. “No mountains at all?”
“No. Most of the country is as flat as a pancake. In fact, half of it lies below sea level, so without our dikes, dams, and locks, it would flood.”
How about that? I’d never known.
“I promise I won’t get you wet this time,” Onno said with a self-deprecating laugh.
“It was no big deal. Seriously.” I held up a compass. “Who knows how to use this?”
“Doesn’t it automatically point north?” Alicia asked.
“It does, but how will that help you if you’re lost?”
Onno raised a hesitant hand. “You need to use it with a map?”
“Ideally, yes, but you’d still have to figure out where you are on the map.” I unfolded the map I’d brought with me. “Who can point out our current location?”
Over the next ten minutes, I explained the basics of navigating using a compass and handed them all a copy of the map. “Sometime during our hike, I’ll ask each of you to show me on the map where we are.”
“You didn’t tell us there would be a test,” Onno said, his eyes twinkling.
“Yup, and if you fail, you have to come to another one of my hikes for a retake.”
Alicia giggled. “You’re funny.”
“We’re going to start by heading up the Cedar Trail, which will loop around by the creek. It’s five miles round trip, with plenty of spots to rest and take in the beauty of our surroundings.”
My gaze landed on Onno. His blond hair seemed almost luminescent in the brilliant sunlight, and he offered me a tentative smile that did strange things to my stomach. And beneath the surface, something else was stirring. Something I hadn’t felt in a long time. Something that whispered of possibilities.
But I’d have to focus on my job, not on pretty Dutch men. “Any questions before we begin?”
“Will there be bears?” Alicia asked, wide-eyed with innocence.
“Only the friendliest.” I winked at her, eliciting another giggle. “But seriously, they tend to keep to themselves. We’re more likely to see deer or maybe even an eagle.”
That got me grins and thumbs-up, and we set off for our three-hour hike in good spirits. On longer or more remote treks, we always had two guides per group, but Jason—my boss and the owner of Rock Adventures—entrusted me with the responsibility of handling this one by myself.
Morris, half of the older couple, took the lead after I pointed him toward the trail, and I made up the rear. Onno walked in front of me, and I discreetly checked his gear. His boots were of good quality, though they looked brand new. Hopefully, he wouldn’t get blisters. Not breaking in new boots was a rookie mistake you could pay dearly for.
He was carrying a sturdy daypack with plenty of water and wearing long hiking pants and an REI T-shirt. He’d followed our checklist to a T, not surprising for someone whose job required attention to detail.
We crossed small streams and navigated around rocks jutting out like nature’s stepping stones. The first ten minutes went without incident, but then Onno started to have trouble keeping up. He trudged with determination, but the stumbles in his stride showed his struggle. It was clear the terrain was more challenging than he’d anticipated, yet his jaw was set and his eyes fixed on the path.
Should I call out to Morris and ask him to slow down? Better not. Onno seemed sensitive, and I didn’t want to embarrass him. He’d taken his mishap during the kayaking tour hard, and I didn’t want him to feel bad about himself again.
Instead, I tapped him on the shoulder. “I’ll be right back.”
I walked past the others, discreetly checking them, pointing out a woodpecker to Alicia, and caught up with Morris. “Can you slow down a little? We need to stay together as a group, and some are having trouble keeping up with your pace.”
Morris looked guilty. “Of course. Just holler if I go too fast again. Ruthie is always complaining that I jog instead of walk.”
“It’s true.” His wife shot an exasperated look at her husband. “And then I have to remind him he’s a good foot taller than me and my legs are much shorter.”
I chuckled. “When I’m alone, I always walk fast, but thank you. I appreciate you taking the lead.”
I let everyone pass me again, signaling they should wait until Onno had caught up. I hiked back to him. He was huffing and puffing as he labored up the mountain, his face red.
“I’m holding everyone up, aren’t I?” Onno wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead. “I don’t think Mother Nature got the memo about my being a beginner.”
“First hikes are like first dates. A little awkward, plenty of sweating, and you hope it ends with a good story.”
Onno laughed, a delightful sound that resonated with the rustling leaves. An unexpected jolt twinged in my chest, not from the exertion of the hike but from the connection sparking between us. Did he feel it too?
His lips quirked upward. “Thanks for slowing down for me. I promise I’m not usually this much of a drag.”
I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something told me his apologetic behavior had a reason, an underlying cause. As if he’d been conditioned to apologize, maybe to avoid someone getting angry? And I would bet good money it was a partner. Or ex-partner. Onno had to be a few years older than my thirty-nine, making it less likely that a parent would still have that kind of influence.
I put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Onno. Really. Trust me, you’re far from being a drag.”
He eyed me incredulously, as if he expected me to mock him. But when I held his gaze with sincerity, he relaxed. “Thank you.”
I gradually slowed us down until Onno had caught his breath. He shot me a look of pure gratitude. “Do you do this full-time?” he asked.
“No, I work for Rock Adventures part-time, mostly between April and October, with an occasional winter hike. But I’m also an EMT and a lifeguard, and I teach several community classes in the area. Oh, and I’m a CPR instructor. I think that’s it.”
He laughed. “That’s all? Don’t you think you have room for a few more jobs?”
I chuckled along with him. “It requires solid planning to keep my schedule straight and show up at the right place at the right time. Oh, I forgot to mention I’m a search and rescue volunteer all year long, so whenever a hiker is in distress, I’ll be one of the people gearing up.”
“Wow. I’m seriously impressed.”
I shrugged. “What can I say? I have a passion for the outdoors and love helping people.”
Morris kept checking in with us to ensure he wasn’t going too fast, and the family in front of us had clued in to Onno needing a slower pace. I was grateful but not that surprised. People who loved nature were generally kind to each other. Being around nature had a calming effect.
I wove through a forest of towering pines, stealing glances at Onno. The occasional sunbeam that managed to pierce the dense canopy highlighted his blond hair, and every time he caught my eye, he’d flash that disarmingly sweet smile. It was hard not to keep looking his way.
After an hour, I called for a ten-minute break. “Make sure to drink plenty of water, guys, and eat a snack. And then grab your maps and see if you can find our location.”
Onno plonked down on a tree stump next to me, dug out a KIND bar from his backpack, and devoured it. I was glad to see he’d brought good snacks. I took my turkey and cheese sandwich out of my bag. “Dutch bread.”
He laughed and pulled a similar package from his backpack. “Brianna made me lunch.”
“That’s a good sister-in-law to have.”
“She’s amazing. And perfect for Joost. He’s so happy with her.”
I munched on my sandwich. “And you? Since you’re here visiting by yourself, should I conclude you’re single?”
He cast his eyes down and a deep sigh escaped him. “Divorced, actually. Four months ago.”
“I’m sorry. Were you married long?”
He flicked some crumbs off his pants. “Fifteen years and together for eighteen…until he told me he’d grown bored with me and wanted out.”
“What? I’m so sorry. That must’ve been devastating to find out.”
He looked up. “Worst day of my life. Until he topped it two days later by walking it back and saying he hadn’t meant it like that. But he never apologized and merely stated we shouldn’t throw away what we had just because of my overly emotional reaction.”
“Jesus, that took balls. I hope you turned him down flat.”
“Fuck, yes. And then I made sure he couldn’t touch a single penny of my money. He’d always insisted on separate accounts because he made much more than me as a plastic surgeon. And because he was a big spender, he walked away with nothing, whereas I was—am—a saver and have a healthy savings account and plenty of investments. Plus, the house, since that was in my name.”
He flushed. “Sorry, got a little carried away. You couldn’t be possibly interested. As you can tell, I’m still upset about it.”
“I would be too in your shoes.” God, he must’ve been heartbroken. Probably still was. My heart went out to him.
“Gerard—my ex—had this way of making me feel small, almost invisible. I’m trying to find who I am without him.”
Bingo. I’d been right. A protective surge barreled through me, and I itched to pull him into a hug and tell him everything would be okay. “Sounds like a tough journey, but you’ll find your way again.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that. And you? Do you have a partner?”
“Also divorced, coming up on five years now. We were together for ten years, and as cliché as it sounds, we grew apart. No drama, no harsh words, no fights. She saw it before I did, but we split amicably. Six months ago, she remarried, and I was at her wedding. Her new husband is a wonderful guy.”
“That’s great. And how it should be.”
“Sure, but it’s all but impossible when someone hurts you the way your ex did. You’re allowed to have hard feelings.”
He chuckled. “Oh, trust me, I have lots of feelings. Sorting them out is gonna take time, I’m afraid.”
“So take that time. There’s no set schedule for such a betrayal. I imagine it’s a lot like grief. That only subsides over time as well.”
Onno slowly nodded. “Yes. You’re right. There you go with the excellent life advice again.”
“You’re welcome. All part of the service. Now, tell me, do you have any clue where we are on the map?”
He laughed, the sadness evaporating. “If I say no, does that mean I have to go on another hike with you?”
My heart skipped a beat. “Yup.”
I couldn’t wait.
The forest, which usually held my attention, faded into a mere backdrop as we continued walking side by side. With every word exchanged, every shared laugh, every dry joke, my attraction to Onno grew, unfolding like the petals of a flower reaching for sunlight. I hadn’t felt like this about another man since college.
Not so straight after all. Be still my beating heart.