8. Lydia
Idon’t know how I thought I could succeed in having a public relationship with a celebrity.
Although it’s a fake public relationship, I still feel completely overwhelmed that someone was able to find out who I am, and now my name is on every major news outlet and social media site as “Griffin Markey’s Newest Mystery Girl.”
“Sources have confirmed that the woman Griffin Markey was seen talking closely with at last Thursday’s game against Los Angeles is Los Gatos University’s Director of Esports, Lydia Goh. Later, Goh and Markey were seen laughing intimately at Guildhouse, a ‘Video Game Bar’ where patrons can play computer games while enjoying beverages. We have reached out to Markey’s agent, Andrea Morales, about the relationship but have not heard back with a response.”
Besides Griffin and myself, the only other person who knows that the relationship is all a ruse is Landon. But only because I think he’d have some choice words with me if I decided to pursue it for real.
“I mean, I get it, but it doesn’t mean I understand it,” he says, while slurping on some pho. Griffin is in Canada for an away game, and Landon and I are eating lunch before we head to the grocery store to stock up on food for the week.
“I told you, it’s because I wanted to bring more attention to the Esports League. Griffin even agreed to visit the university and talk about his love of gaming with the students. I need this so people can actually start respecting me in this job.”
It took a lot of willpower to tell myself that this was not about trying to get Griffin to fall in love with me by fake dating him. No, this was strictly business. Besides, he already told me that he wouldn’t want to date anyone because he doesn’t subject whoever he’s with to all the flashing photos, media attention, and incessant questions. So, it’s better if I just live with the notion that we try to stay friends. Then once we each get what we want, we’ll continue on with our lives as if we never accidentally met at that game.
“Yeah, but that feels like it benefits you more than it does him,” Landon says. “He didn’t ask for anything in return?”
“I mean, I told him that I would help him be less nervous about being in the public all the time. So, technically, he does get something out of it. I think he felt bad about hurting me, and we were in the right place at the right time at that game. He thought that he’d never meet me, so he let me down easy. But it’s irrelevant now.”.
“Yeah.” Landon rolls his eyes as he reaches to take a bite of the spring roll. I love that we can find such good food in San Jose. We had to wait half an hour to even snag a seat, but with the rollercoaster of a week I’ve had, this is my happy place.
“He’s lucky that I didn’t break his nose.”
I blink at him. “You would not have done that.”
“No,” he mutters as he looks down at his food, watching the eye-round steak slowly cook in the near-scalding hot broth. “First, I think I would have probably been arrested. Second, he’s not worth the pain to my fist. Because while I think I’m strong, he’s a lot stronger than I am, and any part of his body I hit would sprain my hand and do absolutely nothing to him.”
I instantly picture Griffin’s muscles, how they are still so defined, even with a hoodie on. The way he shoots the puck so efficiently around the ice. These angry feelings I have for him might be at the forefront of my mind, but in the back of my mind is the thought of him using those muscles to carry me, throw me on the bed, pin me down, and kiss me with those plump lips of his.
“He’s not worth it,” I tell Landon, “And now that we’re ‘together’,” I say with air quotes, “You need to be nice to him. He’s doing me a big favor, and I don’t want anything about our fake relationship to be revealed. As far as you’re aware, this is a very real thing, and I am very much in love with him.”
Which is not necessarily true, but I can still be in like with his looks and body. Maybe we can see if, amidst the quid pro quo of it all,we might be able to have some fun along the way.
“Ugh, barf!” Landon says. “I feel like King Triton from The Little Mermaid when Ariel’s like, ‘But Daddy, I love him!’ And I want to be like, ‘I forbid you from seeing this man.’”
“What happened to me being an adult?” I countered.
“You can be an adult just...I have to keep this a secret until after April?! That’s so long.”
Landon starts whining like a baby, and I’m inclined to drown his wails in my soup. What’s it to him anyway? He’s not the one forced to spend all his spare time with Griffin to make this relationship seem convincing.
“Sorry, but we have to give enough time after the season so it doesn’t look like it doesn’t come off as a PR stunt. You seem so upset about this. You’re not the one that has to fake date him.”
His shoulders sag, and his face softens with a wince when he looks at mine, which apparently looks like I’m about to murder him.
“I’m sorry,” he begins. “You know that I support you in whatever you do, even if I don’t agree with it. I just...I still have to go along with it and I...was really rooting for you to date Mark, I mean, Dr. Brosamer. He seemed really into you.”
If that’s the case, then I wouldn’t want to lead him on. I thought he was a nice person, and sure, he was interested in talking to me, but I didn’t really feel any spark. I think we’d be better off asfriends if he’s okay with that. I haven’t heard anything else from him since that night, anyway, even though we exchanged numbers at the game. He’s probably not going to be super ecstatic to see me Monday, though. I set us up for success, only to tell him, “Sike! My online fling did end up working out, and we’re dating now”. Some things don’t work out, while others work out in unexpected ways. Getting a fake hockey player boyfriend was definitely not something I put on my list of things I was manifesting this year.
On Monday, everything at work felt like it had changed.. I walked into the Student Life meeting that morning and everyone quickly looked up from their phones and blinked right at me, like I had made such a loud ruckus coming in that it had distracted everyone from their work.
I sit down at my seat around the conference table and Kristian looks at me, betrayal all over her face.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I’m sorry?”
“About your relationship?” she grits. “Come on, Lydia! I thought we were best friends!”
“I mean, I think we are...”
“But best friends tell each other everything, and you didn’t tell me what could possibly be the most important thing to ever happen in your life.”
I’m already dreading the direction this is going. I’m not worried about telling Kristian because I think that she’ll get over the fact that I didn’t tell her for obvious reasons, but my dating life is not that big of a deal. I guess I forgot who I’m dating.
Hopefully, the excuse of a celebrity romance gives me some slack. “I mean, given who it is, you have to kind of understand why I needed to keep it under wraps, right?”
She scoffs. “I guess so, but holy shit Lydia. Griffin Markey? How’d you bag that?”
I tell her the whole spiel I had rehearsed in my mind: we met while playing Hero Seek, but I don’t tell her what really happened, that I tried to ask him out, and he turned me down somewhat gently, yet with no context at all. No, instead, I spin the narrative. We go on a date and I go to his game, and we’re seen together later that night, confirming that we’re in a relationship. Well, speculating, but that night, we post a selfie on our social media, and then everyone starts thinking that we’re dating.
“Wow, of course you meet the love of your life on a video game. So what you’re saying is, because I couldn’t play with you that night, that I basically helped set you up.”
“Basically.” I’ll agree with her if it’ll make her feel better. Kristian is the Director of Fraternity Life, and her job can get pretty rough sometimes, especially over big party weekends like Halloween or game days. If this is what will put the pep in her step and avoid any bad blood between us, then awesome. “Thanks, Matchmaker.”
“You’re very welcome,” she beams. “Although I’m glad it worked so well for you. If you can tell me the science of how to score a guy, I’d love that.”
“Date didn’t go so well?”
She shakes her head and tilts her head up, agonizing over the thought. “He just wanted to brag about work. And I don’t blame him, he works for Google, but oh my god, I couldn’t take it any longer. He wanted to talk so much about his job, but then I wanted to talk about my job, and he kept complaining that he didn’t know how to relate. I was like, ‘Really? You can’t relate to frat members who are constantly getting in trouble for intoxication?’ I found that surprising.”
“Well, I’m sorry that your date didn’t go well and that I didn’t tell you about this earlier,” I tell her. “It’s all kind of a lot. I didn’t think I’d ever seen my name so much online.”
And some of them do not hold back.
“Yeah,” Kristian winces. “People are crazy. I saw someone tag Griffin on a comment saying, ‘Why would you want to date a nerd when you can have whoever you want?’”
I slump in my chair. I can keep telling myself all I want that this stuff doesn’t affect me because these people are strangers and they don’t know who Griffin is or who I am, but it does hurt a little bit. Is Griffin meant to be with someone who “looks good next to him on social media?” And what can I even do to make myself be someone like that?
“People are just jealous,” I tell her.
“Yeah, and it’s not a good look. But I know you,” she smiles at me. “And you’re better than these petty bitches.”
Dr. Jones finally enters the conference room and starts our meeting. He goes into detail about everything going on in Student Life at the moment: the holiday bash that takes place right before finals, the calendar of cultural celebrations and heritage months, and how we’re planning to celebrate each one. Kristian talks about the upcoming initiations for each of the Greek chapters and starting to plan spring recruitment, and when it comes to me, I forget what I’m doing. I want to talk about my personal life because that’s been at the forefront of my mind, but we’re at work now, and I have to start thinking about all the things that need to be done before the semester ends.
“Lydia,” he calls. “Would you like to talk about what your department has been working on?”
“Um, yes. We have been planning our first tournament on LGU’s campus in partnership with San Jose State. I have been talking with their esports club and booked the Grand Ballroom for our tournament. I am already in talks with vendors such as NVIDIA, Corsair, and some indie businesses. We’ll be starting to market the event in January, and hopefully, we’ll have a strong turnout both from schools as well as the community.”
Dr. Jones blinks at me and he tilts his head at me like I’m missing something. My grandiose plan that I’ve been spending the last month on seems like it’s missing something. Like it’s not a great idea to have a tournament here to bring awareness to esports with all the schools in the Bay Area and local tech corporations.
“I think you’re missing a key aspect of your work,” he notes.
I look at him skeptically. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I saw that you’ve got a special someone in your life. When do we get to meet him?”
My mouth forms an “O,” and I look around the room at the eyes blinking back at me. I didn’t really have this laid out on my agenda of things to talk about because I literally just started “dating” a few days ago. I didn’t think others were going to have opinions on what I was going to do about my relationship, but again, big hockey star.
“Um...I really haven’t talked to him about visiting.”
“What? Why?” Carley in Housing and Residential asks. She’s not a particular favorite out of the people I work with. She isn’t bad at her job, but she’s not very fond of when Dr. Jones tells the group that there’s a push for esports funding because we’re new. But when she wants yet another new thing for the dormitory that was just built, then she throws a fit and wants to “see the numbers” that are supposed to be indicative of an ROI.
“Because,” I stammer. “He’s busy.”
“Oh yeah, he just swept Vancouver this past weekend,” Jay in Diversity and Inclusion says. “He’s such a good player. You’ll get me an autograph, right?”
“She should tell him to donate to esports,” Carley adds. “That’d be a great help for the school.”
“I’m not asking him to do anything,” I snap, and suddenly everyone shuts their mouths, including petty-as-fuck Carley. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout. I want to enjoy myself in this new relationship, and I won’t ask him to do anything that he doesn’t want to do. Besides being a hockey player, he is a person, too. We’re, as you say, enjoying our honeymoon phase.”
“Well, that’s adorable, Lydia.” Dr. Jones says. “We won’t rush you, but of course any opportunity for us bask in Mr. Markey’s greatness, we’d truly appreciate it.”
“Of course,” I nod. “I know that Griffin loves to meet his fans.”
We go over more items on the meeting’s agenda and finish up just before it’s time for lunch. Dr. Jones dismisses everyone, but as I’m about to get up and leave, he calls out for me to stay behind for a moment.
“Can I talk to you for a moment, Miss Goh?”
Kristian stops, and I let her know to go to lunch without me, in case this conversation takes a bit of time. I’m hopeful that it doesn’t, but I have to set aside time if Dr. Jones wants to talk to me, regardless of what it’s about.
The room empties out, and Dr. Jones guides me to sit down next to him. The whirring of the air conditioning in the room surrounds us, and I feel uncomfortable that we’re sitting so close, in two out of sixteen chairs, when there’s no one else in here.
“What did you want to talk about, Dr. Jones?”
“Well, I wanted to talk to you personally without the rest of the team in the room. I wanted to ask if there’s a way you can convince your boyfriend to...give some of his wealth to the esports program.”
“Uh...” I thought we had already gone over this. It was easy to lash out when Carley said it, but I can’t think that way when it comes to my own boss.
“We just started dating. I don’t think it’s appropriate to ask him for money so early into our relationship, if ever,” I tell him.
He sighs and looks at me, guilt canvassing his face.
“Lydia,” he begins. “I haven’t announced this to anyone else but you yet, but considering it is your department, I should tell you first.”
His solemn face starts to worry me, and I brace for the worst as he begins to suck in a breath and tell me the words I never want to hear.
“We’re not doing as well with esports as everyone had hoped. President Nulty has decided that it’s been a risk to take on esports with the spend just as high as certain sports, and we’re not seeing reward. We need to raise at least a hundred thousand dollars if we want to offer scholarships to students next year, on top of retaining staff and purchasing equipment.”
I gulp. Of course, this is news to me. I mean, I know there has been a struggle to try to raise enough funds to accommodate all of the dreams and equipment, but after this year, if we don’t have enough money, then that’s it? That’s the end?
“So you’re telling me if we can’t get the money by what, the end of the school year, then...”
“Then there will no longer be an Esports Department at LGU.”
And if there’s no longer an Esports Department, then my job will be eliminated. My dream job. A job that I had spent so many hours brainstorming ways to make successful, gone. Just like that..
“Great,” I croak.
“So, yes. It’s great that you’re now with Mr. Markey. If you’re able to have him help out in this way, it would really help you and the department.”
“S-sure. I...will try and ask him as soon as I can.”
“That’s great, Lydia,” he smiles. “You would be a big help if you’re able to raise these funds.”
Yeah, and also try to keep my job. I know that I went into this fake dating arrangement thinking that it would benefit me, but I was thinking more so about the awareness of the club and the respect that I would gain if they saw him with me. Asking for money, hell, a hundred thousand dollars from him? That’s a down payment on a house. That’s a fancy sports car. That pays my student loans and probably part of my brother’s. I can’t do that. Which is why I’m going to be almost breaking my back trying to figure out how to fundraise it myself and seeing if he’ll use his reach to help me.
Let’s just hope I do it in time to help save myself.