Match Game: A Fake Dating Hockey Romance

15. Lydia

It’s a struggle to wake up the next morning and get excited for another day of programming when Griffin is waiting for me at home.

The confessional came out of left field last night. I wasn’t drunk, wasn’t under the influence of anything else except a longing for wanting things to be back to the way they were, and boom. The words just slipped out. I confessed that I missed Griffin and almost reached a point where I told him that I was falling in love with him.

I should be happy that Griffin misses me back. That he wants me to be happy, so he tries to help me out just like any other friend would, except his is on a hundred-thousand-dollar scale. He’s just saying all these things to be a good friend. That’s all that we are. Friends.

I take a deep breath as I peer at my body dressed in the mirror mounted on the wall. I straighten out my blazer and ruffle some of the waves in my hair. Today, the only responsibility that I have is to show up. I should be talking to people and continuing my networking efforts, but I did my panel, I did the happy hour mixer, and I checked in on the students, who all seemed to be having a good time.

I head downstairs, say hello to a few other directors I’ve only met online through setting up tournaments with one another, and take a seat in a free row towards the back of the very large ballroom space that has to be filled with close to a thousand people.

As more people start taking their seats, I shoot a quick message to the students to get down here to fill up these chairs before the program begins.

Lydia: Y’all better be at the opening keynote and not sleeping.

Dev: We are!! We see you sitting near the front.

Drew: But we’ll confess, we may have stayed up a little too late playing at the arcade.

Lydia: That’s ok. I did too at the...adult equivalent of the arcade aka the casino.

The conference organizer walks up the stage and takes his place at the podium. He wishes everyone a good morning and begins by telling us he has a special announcement.

“Every year, we are in awe of those who have dedicated their lives to the improvement of esports in the community. This year, to recognize the directors who have gone above and beyond for their esports community, we will be awarding, for the first time, a Collegiate Esports Director of the Year. All Directors of Esports are eligible to win, and we will choose based on the answers that directors will be submitting, as well as testimonials from students and coaches.

But you all might be asking, what is the big deal about this award? Why would I submit myself for consideration? Well, that’s where the exciting part comes in. The Director of the Year will be awarded the prize of a lifetime: brand new gaming equipment provided in sponsorship with Alienware, plus an all-expenses-paid trip for them and their teams to the League World Championships happening in South Korea.”

Danny and I look at each other wide-eyed. Holy shit. This is the honor of a lifetime. If I can somehow sound convincing enough for this award, it could mean so many things. A state-of-the-art esports room and the chance to go to South Korea to see one of the biggest esports tournaments in the world.

But there’s one big problem. While I can bullshit my way through a really convincing personal essay, I have absolutely no control over what the students or coaches are going to say. I’m afraid that I’m going to have to try and bribe them with booze or whatever college kids like to give me a glowing recommendation. I mean, I’d hope that they’d want to go to South Korea and have a new room just as much as me.

“Now, we know that anyone can write testimonials if they submit them online, so that’s why, as part of the selection process, we will be spontaneously contacting students via phone to answer some questions about their respective directors.”

Oh. So that’s how they find that loophole.

“Applications are open now and will be due a month from today, in mid-December. Best of luck to all the directors who are considered for this opportunity.”

They speak a little bit more about the different events happening today, but all I can think about is how I’m going to make a game plan to tackle this award. I want to win, and if I do, maybe that’ll prove to the school that they don’t have to worry as much about getting new equipment. I’m sure Jared’s picky ass would be happy. But then I look at people like Danny, like other schools who seem to have their shit together, and I very much don’t. So, as much as I want to chase the dream of being known to a community as Director of the Year, I definitely don’t think I am deserving of such an honor when I look around the room and see much more established, much more knowledgeable people than me.

“Thank you all again for coming. We will see you at your respective panels, and there is no closing session after this, so please feel free to explore the area. Esports Arena at Luxor is offering drop-in times for the day for teams to tour and play. And from all of us here at the Collegiate Esports Association, we thank you for your participation, time, and dedication to furthering esports in the community.”

Everyone gets up, and as I start to gather my bag, Danny makes a note about the award.

“Well, this is cool,” he says. “I’m eager to see who gets chosen. It’d be cool to go somewhere like South Korea to watch the League World Championships. I went to the one in San Francisco the other year, and it was amazing how much that arena filled up with excited fans. I’m assuming you’re going to apply, right?”

“Yeah,” I nod. “But I don’t think I’m going to get chosen.”

“Why’s that?”

I look down at the floor. “It just feels like I don’t have anything really figured out. My higher-ups set outrageous expectations about how much return on investment we should be making, but they don’t do the same thing for athletics. I can tell you that there are some sports at our school that are seeing more love than esports, and the school will pour money into them. Also, some of my coaches are super misogynistic. They don’t respect me in my role. They don’t believe that I can run a successful team. It’s...hard to be a woman in esports.”

“Yeah.” Danny rubs my back and gives me a one-armed hug. “You’re doing really well, though. The first year of running a team is super hard. I went through it, too, when we were first starting out. Trying to give people reasons to believe and all that. But you’re doing a really good job, and from what you’ve told me, I can tell you’re really dedicated to what you’re doing. And that’s what’s worth it. If you can make your students see that, then that’s all you need. We work in higher education. It’s about the students, not the money.”

“You’re right,” I laugh. I didn’t take the job because the pay was nice. I took it because I wanted to make a difference to the students I was serving.

“Thank you,” I tell Danny. Honestly, I have tried to introduce myself to several directors, but he is the only one that I’ve felt like I’ve been able to pour my life story out to. Everyone else has really made it feel like it’s a competition to be the best director, bragging about how nice their equipment is or how many tournaments they’ve won. As a school that has neither of those things, Danny hasn’t judged me for any of it. And he’s got one of the most renowned esports programs in the country. “If I don’t win the award, which I don’t think I will, I hope you do.”

“Thanks, Lydia. But I don’t think I’m all that. It’s funny. I think the students know how to do my job better than I can.”

“Yeah, these are smart kids.”

“Well, I’m gonna head to my panel. If I don’t see you, have a safe trip back home, and good luck with the rest of the year. And with that special someone, too.”

“Thank you.” I give him a quick hug. “Safe travels to you and your team as well. And hopefully, we’ll see each other at a tournament sometime.”

“Do you have any you’re registered for?”

“One.” The only one I signed up for because I didn’t know how equipped the students really are to participate in a tournament. But it’s in April, so I’m hopeful that by then, they’ll be raring to go. “It’s the Valorant tournament in LA.”

“Oh yeah? We’re going to that one too. Looks like I’ll see you in LA in April.”

“See you then. May the best team win!”

Danny gives me another wave before making his way to a conference room, and I do the same to the “How to Market Your Team” panel, where I think what they’re about to teach might be things I already know, but it was either this or “Understanding Your Esports Team’s Financial Well Being.” I don’t know why Danny decided to attend that panel, but I also think his students really know how to market a team. Somehow, they are going viral on social media for just...showing off their game-playing skills.

After an entire panel dedicated to what the teacher dubbed “Gen Z Marketing,” I head out to find the students. I don’t have any other panels lined up for the day, but now I want to do everything right by the students so they look up to me enough to give me a glowing review when it comes time to select a Director of the Year.

“Hey, all.” I walk up to them as they’re talking to students from another school. “How was your panel?”

“It was fine,” Dev says. “I feel like you’d like it but I would have just preferred to play in mock games with other schools.”

“Yeah, that’s how I’ve been feeling, too,” Drew chimes in. “Like, these are all really cool and important things that we should be learning, but do they expect students to sit through all these things to learn something? We do that already for school; we want to be able to, I don’t know...meet other players and play games!”

The rest of the team nods in unison, and I’m surprised. In a good way. I’m happy that they’re expressing themselves on things that they feel strongly about. To me, that’s a step in the right direction. At least they’re not bullshitting anything for my benefit.

“Well, is there something that you all want to do that can actually be to your benefit? Like go to the arena and play?”

“Wait, can we?” Dev’s face beams.

“Yeah, why not?” I shrug.

“Well, we didn’t know if you wanted to go with us to these things. And maybe we haven’t been super vocal about what we want either, so that’s on us. But sorry to break it to you, Lydia, but panels and networking are boring. Is that what we have to do when we’re in the working world? If so, I’m not ready to work.”

“It’s not always about panels and networking, but it is a part of the job. In all honesty, I don’t love that part either, but they teach me a lot. Like how these social media platforms can garner a lot of attention from students as the marketing tool of choice.”

“Ah,” Brent nods. “Yeah. It’s not hard, though. You just do some fun lighting effects and show us playing games, and you’ll get noticed easily. It helps that we’re good at what we do.” He winks, and a laugh spills out from me.

“You guys are good at what you do. I don’t get sentimental very often, but I really appreciate all of the work that you all have put in for this team. We’re still very much in our growing stages, and some days may seem hard, but thank you all for being so kind to me. I want to make sure you all have a team to come back to next year.”

“Thank you, Lydia,” Drew says. “You’re the one that does all the work, so we get to do what we love. We may not say it a lot because we’ve got a lot on our minds—school and playing and all that—but you’ve been a huge help in making all of our dreams come true. We’re sorry if we don’t speak up and defend you as much as we should. Jared and the other coaches say some mean things, and I should speak up against it because I definitely don’t think you’re bad at your job.”

“Neither do I.”

“None of us do.”

“Really?” I raise my eyebrows. “Well, thanks guys. That really means a lot.”

“When it comes time for those people to come and ask us what we think about you as a director, we’re going to tell them that you’re the best, most hard-working director there is. And we hope you win, not just because it means we’ll get to go to South Korea or have a newly decked-out game room. But because you are the best director.”

I try not to get emotional again, but I love these guys. This is the most they’ve spilled out to me since I became director. I want to envelop them all in a hug, but I save my feelings because I think they’ll try to squirm out of it.

“Thanks, everyone. I really enjoy working for you all, and hopefully, one day, we’ll bring home a tournament win and get our name on the map. And I hope all of you get to become pros one day, and I’ll get to watch you in some world championships.”

We begin to head to the lobby to catch a shuttle that will take us to the Luxor for a tour of the Esports Arena. I’m mildly excited about how grand this place might be. Maybe I’ll try to get onto one of the games myself, just to say I’ve played in a venue that grand.

As we head out of the double doors, my eyes lock on someone very familiar wearing a blackout Stingrays hoodie and sweatpants. No. It can’t be. I blink to see if I’m just hallucinating. But no, he’s standing there, smiling at me as I gape at his presence.

“Griffin?”