Chapter Thirty-Six #2
We bang into a wall and Caleb curses under his breath. I giggle, and he squeezes my bottom as he resumes the kiss. I press myself flush against him, surrendering to the waves of dizzying pleasure that are building inside of me.
“Wait! My shirt isn’t on,” I scream-whisper as I realize he’s carrying me up the main staircase.
“Don’t worry,” he says, “everyone’s sleeping. Besides, I’m covering all the good stuff.”
I duck my head under his chin and whisper up a prayer that everyone stays asleep. Caleb finds that hilarious and laughs even as he lowers me onto his bed. He shuts the door and locks it which isn’t very yichud, and then he swivels the Shabbos lamp, so he can see me better.
He joins me on the bed and my legs tighten their hold around him. Then, like the boss woman I am, I flip us over, so I’m on top. But based on his wide grin, he’s happy to let me take the lead.
My breath hitches as his hands slide down my back and settle either side of my waist. His thumbs fan across my skin, sending shivers of pleasure up and down my body.
I swallow as I see the hunger in his eyes, raw, pure.
Carnivorous even. He looks like he’s seconds away from losing control and turning into a werewolf because the attraction is too fierce.
Then he flips me back over, the alpha reseizing control. His fingers touch the lower swells of my breasts, and my breathing turns erratic. I accidentally-on-purpose thrust my chest out like a prize that I want him to claim. No, that I need him to claim.
“Tinsel,” he says, drawing a ragged breath. “Tell me to stop.”
“I will.” I lick my lips and run my fingers down his chest. “In a minute.”
“We shouldn’t . . .” He shudders and closes his eyes as my fingers brush against the zipper of his pants.
“Double jeopardy,” I remind him and he laughs. “Besides, weren’t you the one who carried me up an entire flight of stairs to bring me to your bed?”
He visibly swallows. “I was in caveman mode. I wasn’t really thinking.”
I laugh and run my hands down his chest. “I like you in caveman mode.”
“Tinsel.” He closes his eyes and groans. “You need to be the strong one here.”
“All right. I will.”
I might be wrong, but he looks slightly disappointed as I get off the bed. It’s clear that Caleb is out of his element, and that when faced with a woman who is attracted to him, he seizes up and goes into self-destruct mode, just like on his dates. And I’m all too happy to help a friend.
And then in an incredibly smooth move, I unhook the clasp of my bra.
“There.” I nod and smile. “Now where were we?”
Caleb takes a deep, shuddering breath. His eyes don’t seem to know where to land.
His hand trembles as he reaches forward to remove the cup that got caught on my erect nipple, and my bra falls to the floor.
His eyes turn fevered as he rubs the tips.
I gasp, the pleasure bordering on pain, so exquisite that it makes the area between my legs pool with desire.
He simply stares at me. And stares. I start to feel self-conscious and try to cover myself with my arms, but he grabs them and pins them over my head.
“You’re beautiful, Tinsel,” he murmurs, his eyes running up and down. He stares at my breasts as if I’m the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. My breath hitches as his eyes swallow up every inch of me. “Even more beautiful than I imagined.”
His words embolden me and I smile. “Caleb Kahn, are you telling me you’ve imagined me naked?
” This piece of news should probably not cause me so much unbridled happiness, but I’ll worry about that later.
I can barely focus because his hands are working their way up from my stomach and my nipples tingle in anticipation.
I want his hands on my breasts more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life. Ever.
“Every day, several times a day,” he laughs.
“But you’ve exceeded even my wildest dreams,” he says, then cups my breasts with his hands again.
I gasp as his thumbs stroke the sensitive tips, hardening them into peaks.
When he closes his mouth over one, I throw my head back and close my eyes.
The pleasure radiates throughout my body with a mind-numbing intensity.
“Finally,” he murmurs against my mouth, catching his breath. “I’ve been wanting to do this for so long.”
I bite back a smile. “Poor baby.”
“You have no idea.” He tugs me back to him, clearly a man on a mission. Or an addict with crack. I deepen our kiss, exploring his mouth. I’ll be your crack, I silently communicate.
“Your perfume,” he moans. “It drives me insane.”
“It’s probably my scented moisturizer—” I begin to say, but he cuts me off with a kiss so passionate that I feel it in the pit of my belly.
I throw my head back and moan as his thumbs brush my nipples.
And when his mouth kisses my other nipple and I grab the back of his head to crush it closer.
The pressure of his lips on my breast increases and his other hand finds the sweet spot between my legs, and all too soon, I cry out from intensity of the orgasm, riding out wave after wave of ecstasy.
“I-I might have come,” I blush, embarrassed.
“Good,” he whispers, kissing the tip of my nose. “I wanted you to.”
“But . . .” I trail off, gazing at the tent bulging from his underwear. “What about you?”
“I don’t have anything for protection,” he says.
“As long as you’re clean, it’s not a problem,” I say, barely able to believe my brazenness. Who is this woman? “I have an IUD. It gives me lighter periods.”
His eyes light up like he’s just won the lottery. “Seriously?” he says, and I nod. “I’m clean,” he assures me. “But—” He closes his eyes as though he’s in physical pain. “Wouldn’t you rather wait for marriage—”
“No,” I say, putting a finger to his lips. “I want this, and I want it with you. And I want it now.”
“You’re sure?”
I nod. “Very.” And it’s true, I’ve never felt more confident about anything than in this decision. With his eyes on mine and a smile on his lips, he slides off his underwear and his penis springs to life, much larger and much more alive than any naked sculpture I’ve ever seen.
“Don’t worry,” he says, and it’s only then that I realize that I was looking at it with horror etched on my face.
“Sorry.” I shake my head. “I’m just surprised—it’s so . . .”
“So?”
“Big.” I tilt my head and peer closer. “Has your doctor seen this?”
“No, Ashira. My doctor has not seen my erect penis.” I can tell by the way his cheeks are sucked in that he’s trying to withhold laughter.
“I’ve never seen one before,” I say defensively. “It’s intimidating.”
He laughs and then flips me over so I’m on my back. “I’m not going to be able to last much longer if you keep up with this flattery,” he says. “And I want to come inside you,” he whispers, nipping my earlobe.
“There is no way in hell that that—” I point my finger at his penis, “will fit inside me.”
“It will.”
“It won’t.”
“How do you know?” I say, a bit panicked.
“Because that’s how vaginas work, sweetheart. They stretch to accommodate the penis.”
“Fine. I’ll let you try,” I say, a little peevishly. “But I know I’m not going to like it.” He buries his face in the crook of my neck and laughs.
“Then tell me and I’ll stop, okay?”
I nod and then he starts kissing me all over again, teasing me, and I gasp with surprise as he inserts a finger within my folds. I squirm and feel my muscles contract, my hips bucking as if my body knows exactly what to do.
“Fuck, you’re so wet. Do you like this?” he says huskily and I clench the bedspread and gasp a yes. “What about this?” he says, adding a second finger.
“Yes, yes,” I pant. Then feeling a little crazed, I realize that I want the monstrous part of him inside me, that in fact, my body craves it. That it was meant for this. “Please, Caleb. Come inside me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes!” I shriek, and he laughs, trying to shush me.
And then, bit by bit, he enters me. My face pinches from the slight pain, but then he starts kissing me and massaging my breasts, and the pain turns to waves of pleasure.
“Oh fuck, you feel so good,” he groans. “So wet and tight.”
“Don’t stop,” I moan and he doesn’t. Soon, I’m overwhelmed by an orgasm so powerful that it rips a scream from me. His pumping turns harder and faster, and his own climax comes on the heels of my own. Afterwards, we lie together, still entwined.
“Wow,” I say, trying to catch my breath. “That was . . . wow.”
Caleb laughs and shakes his head. “I . . . I . . . can’t even talk.”
“When can we do it again?”
He laughs, glistening with sweat as he pulls out. “Give me five minutes.”
“I love you,” I say impulsively, cradling his face.
“I love you too.” He grins. “Thanks for finding me my perfect match.”
“I saved the best for last,” I tease.
Later that night, as I lie against his warm naked body, I think about love.
It’s not always rainbows and butterflies and fireworks.
Sometimes it’s slow and confusing, frustrating and maddening.
It can linger just beneath the surface, and you barely realize what’s been happening under your nose until it’s too late, and you’re a goner.
Even though life is messy and predictable, there’s one thing I know for sure: love is always the answer. And it starts within you.