EPILOGUE
ONE YEAR LATER
‘What do you think?’ Kieran asks, putting his hands on his hips.
Taking my sunglasses off, I move to stand beside him and look out at the view. Surrounded by mountains, the lake stretches out before us, the water sparkling in the sunshine. As the breeze whips my hair around my face, I take a deep breath in and nod.
‘Perfect,’ I declare, much to his satisfaction.
He shrugs his backpack off, unzips it and reaches in for the folded picnic blanket, shaking it out and laying it on the floor before kneeling down to get out the half-bottle of Champagne, two glasses, a box of strawberries, a carton of cream and two spoons.
I sit down next to him and slide my sunglasses back on, stretching my legs out and leaning back on my hands. The Lake District is vast but at the height of summer it can still be tricky to find a secluded spot for a picnic. Kieran took the task very seriously and, after asking around, he decided to take his chances on this particular place by Rydal Water. I couldn’t have hoped for better.
He pops the Champagne cork, pours me a glass and passes it over, before pouring his own. After clinking our glasses together, he sits back and joins me in admiring the view. I take a tiny sip and balance the glass on the grass by the edge of the blanket.
‘I can’t believe we’re here.’ Kieran sighs, lowering himself back on his elbows. ‘It’s been such a long week, I thought this break would never come.’
I reach over to place a hand on his leg. ‘You so deserve this break. The ball last night couldn’t have gone better. I’m so proud of you.’
‘I didn’t do it alone,’ he says giving me a pointed look. ‘It would have been a disaster without your superior organisation and planning skills. It still feels like a dream. I can’t believe we pulled it off.’
I shrug. ‘I can.’
When Kieran had the idea to throw a huge black-tie ball to raise money for his charity, Head in the Game, I knew it was going to be an ambitious job but it would be worth it. It had the potential to not only raise a lot of money, thanks to Kieran’s sports contacts, but also give the charity a huge awareness boost, and it had done just that. This morning, official photos from the event, hosted at The Hurlingham Club, were across all the papers and social media, thanks to all the famous faces that showed up. We didn’t just have big tennis names rocking up in their ball gowns and tuxedos, but glamorous stars across every sport you can think of, who’d all bought tables to be there.
We raised an astounding £1.25 million.
I thought I might burst from pride when Kieran, looking utterly shellshocked, announced the total raised to rapturous applause last night. He has spent the last year putting everything into this charity, which provides free sports sessions – like tennis, football, ballet and swimming, to name a few – to children aged between six and eighteen who have suffered the loss of a close family member. As Kieran knows all too well, sports and exercise can help when it comes to coping with grief, encouraging focus and a sense of purpose, and it’s now his goal to make sure it’s accessible to any child from any background who is suffering anything like what he went through. When he has the time, he’s been offering some coaching sessions himself. The kids love him. No surprises there.
His passion and hard work is going to change so many lives for the better. I didn’t think I could be prouder than when he lifted that trophy at Wimbledon last year, but last night somehow managed to trump even that.
Amongst the celebrities were family and friends. Iris was there, as were Neil and several members of Kieran’s former team, including his publicist Nicole who I’ve grown close to. Even Brian flew over to attend. He and Kieran had a tense moment on his arrival, but they both managed to behave themselves and Brian donated generously – the charity means a lot to him too, since Kieran launched it in honour of Aidan’s memory.
Brian’s book came out last Christmas and Kieran hasn’t quite forgiven him for several of the chapters that detailed personal family incidents, and in particular, the chapter that revealed how destroyed Kieran had been by that interview he gave being published after Aidan’s death. Kieran is such a private person that he hated the world knowing his business, and it took him a while to speak to Brian again.
Despite his assurances, Brian’s book wasn’t a tennis manual, it was a memoir as had been originally reported, and he never sent it to Kieran in advance. He did, however, edit it heavily after Kieran’s win at Wimbledon last year, which was why publication was pushed back to December. Rumour has it that the previous draft was a lot more negative about Kieran, and the more cynical amongst us might assume that he felt the need to change it now that he wanted to be back in the good books of his son, the reigning Wimbledon Champion.
I was glad he came last night, though, and that they’re building bridges. Now that Kieran is out the game, Brian doesn’t need to be his coach; he can just work on being his father. It will take time, but, as Kieran said yesterday, Aidan would have wanted them to both be there at the event, slowly making amends.
My dad and Camila were also there, having a great time milling amongst the famous faces at the ball. I shouldn’t have been surprised at how many people they knew – apparently they’ve met several of the celebrities who were there before on the New York social scene. It’s been nice getting to know them a bit better this past year. Dad kept his promise and flew over at the end of the summer and we spent some time together then. I wouldn’t say the conversation flows with ease between us, but he’s making an effort and checks in much more often. I often tease Kieran about the fact that Dad and I have managed to rebuild our relationship purely because we finally found something to talk about that we’re both interested in: him.
Last night was emotional for both Kieran and I. Getting this charity off the ground has been a lot of hard work, and we’ve done it whilst moving into our new place, a dream home in Wimbledon Village. There wasn’t anywhere else either of us wanted to live. After the championships last year, Kieran took a six-month lease on a flat in the area, since we both agreed that maybe we should do the dating thing for a while, rather than live together straight away. But six months was more than enough for us to realise that this was the real deal. He moved back into Lingfield Road as soon as his temporary lease was up. I’ll be sad to leave the flat, but it’s time for a bigger space of our very own.
I watch Kieran as he admires our tranquil surroundings and reach up to run my fingers through his hair. He closes his eyes and heaving a relaxed sigh, lies down on his back, gesturing for me to join him. Removing my sunglasses, I nuzzle happily into the crook of his arm, his fingers trailing circles lightly on my shoulder.
‘You know, I think this is the first time I’ve seen you relax in a year,’ I remark, my nose brushing against his neck. ‘It’s a strange sort of retirement you’ve taken.’
‘I’m not sure early retirement was ever going to suit me.’
‘I think it suits you very well,’ I counter. ‘Look at what you’ve done in a year.’
‘And what about you, Miss Bestselling Author?’
I burst out laughing. ‘It hasn’t even been published yet! Don’t say it will be a bestseller – you can’t jinx it. I need a publisher to pick it up first.’
Every spare moment I’ve had has been dedicated to my graphic novel and I finally finished it two months ago. Even though he’d been integral to the process from the start, I was terrified to show Kieran the final book, but I also knew that I’d created something I could be proud of. I’ve never felt more vulnerable than when I sent it to agents and waited anxiously for their responses. After three rejections, I got an agent who was interested.
The day I signed with her, Kieran bought me a cake and stuck up a HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIGNING WITH A LITERARY AGENT DAY.
The execution wasn’t the best, but he got a gold star for the effort.
‘Your agent said she’s confident the book will be snapped up as soon as it’s out on submission,’ Kieran reminds me. ‘Which will be when, by the way?’
‘Next week.’ I bite my lip. ‘I’m nervous. I hope a publisher somewhere out there likes it. If it’s not picked up, it will be a little embarrassing.’
‘There’s nothing embarrassing about finishing a graphic novel, signing with an agent and getting it out on submission. That is a huge achievement already, no matter what comes next,’ he insists, shifting his body to turn and face me, his arm still trapped under my head.
He takes off his sunglasses, sliding them into the pocket of his shorts, and I gaze into his piercing eyes, admiring his features, my heart fluttering as he smiles affectionately at me. I can’t believe he chose me. You’d think after a year I’d be used to how beautiful he is, but he still has the ability to take my breath away.
‘What if it isn’t picked up?’ I mutter nervously.
‘It will be.’
‘But what if it isn’t?’
‘Then you start work on your next one,’ he says, before offering me a mischievous grin. ‘You’re in the right place. I hear it can be very inspiring here for authors.’
I arch my brow. ‘Is that right?’
‘You can understand the hype, though, right? It’s pretty special here.’
‘It is. It’s very special.’
This feels like the right time. Since I took the test this morning, I’ve been waiting for a good moment to tell him, and lying next to each other, feeling like there’s no one else in the world but us… well, I’m not sure I’d find better.
‘Kieran,’ I say breezily, as his eyes flutter closed.
‘Mm?’
‘You know that bottle of Champagne you brought today.’
‘You want a top-up?’
‘No, I don’t. In fact, you’re going to have to drink it on your own.’
‘Why?’ he asks lazily. ‘Are you planning on going somewhere?’
‘I’m not going anywhere. It’s just, I won’t be drinking for the next nine months.’
His eyes flash open and he moves his arm so he can sit bolt upright.
‘Are you… are you…’ he begins, flustered, his breath shaking as he leans over me.
Smiling coyly, I sit up and nod, my eyes filling with tears.
He inhales sharply before drawing me into his arms and holding me so tight, I wonder if he ever plans on letting go. When the blue plus sign appeared on the test this morning, it felt surreal. As it sank in, I felt a little bit of everything: absolutely terrified and deliriously happy all at once. But I know that I can do this, and I feel so lucky to have him at my side through whatever comes next. When Kieran pulls away, he cups my face in his hands, his watery eyes locked on mine.
‘We’re having a baby?’ he checks hoarsely, as though hardly daring to believe it.
‘We’re having a baby,’ I whisper, my jaw aching from grinning.
Breaking into a wide beaming smile, he dips his head to press his mouth against mine, a kiss so intense and meaningful that my heart skips a beat. He breaks the kiss to say in a raspy, breathless voice, ‘I love you so much,’ before gently pulling me against him again, his hands sliding around my hips and tightening around my waist.
As I rest my chin on his shoulder and hold him close, I exhale slowly, gazing out at the lake, the sapphire blue water flaked with gold as it shimmers under the warm afternoon sun. It’s beautiful here, but really, it wouldn’t have mattered where we were when I told him.
I close my eyes, smiling to myself as he whispers in my ear, promising me he’s going to spend the rest of his life making me and our child happy.
It feels like a long time since I had my heart set on coming to the Lake District to write my story. But it turned out my story was in Wimbledon all along.
And there’s still so much more of it to come.