5. Colleen
Colleen
I was sitting on the table in the treatment room at the clinic, jiggling my leg nervously. I hated these “well women” exams, they were torture. The stirrups, the pinching, the tiny paper gowns, it was all devised to make women as uncomfortable as possible. That’s why I’d been putting off getting my exam for a while now. But for some reason my mother kept hounding me about it. I’d never seen her take such an interest in my gynecological health before.
“There’s finally a new doctor right here in Cedar Creek,” she reminded me about ten times. “You can get your exam there. It’s much more convenient than driving down into Portland. And I heard that the new doctor is very good.”
Our tiny town at the base of Mt. Hood hadn’t had a doctor since Doc O’Connor passed away a couple of years ago. Of course I’d stopped seeing him once I got old enough to pick my own doctors. The old guy was cranky and old fashioned and had always made me feel bad about my curves. As if shaming me was the best way to make me lose weight.
Besides, I liked myself the way I was. I might have thick thighs, but I was healthy, and that was all that mattered to me. Or at least I thought I was healthy. I guess today’s physical and gyno exam would confirm that.
I looked around the room, taking in the jars of swabs and cotton balls on the counter next to the sink, and the poster on the wall encouraging people to avoid smoking. At least the new doctor had spruced the place up. The walls were freshly painted, and the exam table looked new. Not comfortable, but new.
I shifted positions, making the stupid paper gown slide up my legs. When I pulled it down, I came dangerously close to having a breast pop out. Was there some reason why they couldn’t make these gowns big enough to fit real women? I was a size fourteen for goodness sake, I wasn’t that big.
I heard a knock, then the door swung open.
“Good afternoon, I’m Dr. Williamson. Nice to meet you Miss…”
I looked up as the Doctor came into the room, squinting at the iPad in his hand and clearly searching for my name. He looked really familiar. My mouth dropped open in shock. It had been twenty years, but I’d recognize him anywhere.
“Ben?”
His head snapped up and I saw Ben’s eyes widen in recognition. “Colleen?”
Ben Williamson was my first boyfriend. My first love. The guy who broke my heart when he went away to college, leaving me in the dust. I hadn’t thought of him in years but now here he was, wearing a white coat and ready to do my exam.
“You’re the new doctor here?” I asked.
“Um. Yeah. I just bought the clinic and moved back.”
I was pretty shocked that I hadn’t heard about Ben returning to town. Gossip was traded like currency in Cedar Creek, and I had no doubt that anyone in our age group remembered us dating in high school.
Staring at my ex-boyfriend, I suppressed a sigh. Time had clearly been good to Ben. He looked… yummy.
A little over six feet tall, he was broad shouldered but lean. He’d always been a runner and a skier and judging by his fit physique he still took care of himself. He’d definitely filled out a bit since I’d known him, his body a little bulkier than I remembered. His hair was shorter now, still brown and thick, and he still had that square jaw with the tiny indent in the chin.
Ben stared at me for a full minute before snapping out of the daze he was in and giving me a crooked smile.
“It’s nice to see you again. How have you been?”
“I’ve been fine,” I said, adjusting the paper gown again.
I couldn’t believe he was making small talk, as if we’d run into each other on Main Street or something. Wasn’t he the slightest bit uncomfortable? The last time we saw each other I’d been sobbing and telling him that I hated him for ruining my life.
“You’re here for an exam?” he asked, glancing back down at his iPad.
I resisted the urge to bite back a sarcastic response. Did he think I hung out half naked in exam rooms for fun?
I shook my head. “Oh no, not anymore. There’s no way I’m doing an exam with you.”
Having my high school boyfriend get his first look at my lady box with a speculum in his hand was not going to happen. A woman had to have some pride.
“I can still do the exam,” he said, but there was something the tiniest bit uncomfortable in his expression that told me he was struggling with this too. “I’m fully trained in women’s health, and we can have the nurse in here if that makes you more comfortable.”
“No thanks, I’ll just go to my regular doctor in Portland,” I said. “I never would have made this appointment if I’d known you were the new doctor. This is way too awkward.”
Wait, had my mother known about this? Surely she wouldn’t have pressured me to get an exam here if she’d known who the new doctor was, right? Because that would be too weird, even for her. Although she’d always liked Ben… I swear she was just as upset as I was when we broke up.
All I knew was that I needed to get out of here.
I hopped off the table and promptly got caught on the step on the bottom, pitching forward. Ben moved quickly, grabbing me by the arms and keeping me from face planting on the hard tile floor. The movement made my gown slip dangerously low.
“Whoa there,” he grumbled.
I looked up into his dark brown eyes and for a second I forgot to breathe. I’d spent a lot of time staring into those eyes and somehow they still had the same effect as they’d had when I was a teenager. Damn it, this wasn’t good. I couldn’t have a crush on my ex-boyfriend, not when there was no way we could both live in this small town without running into each other regularly.
I stepped back, folding my arms around my middle to hold the gown in place, and looked at a point over his left shoulder.
“Thanks for the assist, but I’m going to find another doctor. See you around.”